Official Compendium of E-tard moments and quotes

"This is the happiest day of my life! I think I'm going to die!"

I did seriously think I was going to die but I just didn't care.
 
hydrostatic said:
a friend once said to someone showing off her new pair of sneakers: "oh cool, did you ever have shoes before you had those?"
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HAHAHA!

wow i dont normally laugh out loud but goddamn.

Here's a common one from me and people im with

"Oh my god....this shit is just like....oh my god....fuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkk oh my goddddd its sooo gooooooood"
 
this doesn't count as saying, but my buddy sent me text message at 3am when he was on mdma hes russian. he was so twisted he couldn't even write.

" Yo! Treaping balls! what u saing?"
 
Anytime someone asked me anything.....slurring my words like crazy.

"What... Nah... for real?"
 
my mate said to me a few weeks ago when he was mashed "this is the reason i was put on earth"
 
''im covered in poooooooooo''

''fatty wanna cream cake''

''ive got a better arse than your wife ''

This was all shouted out of my mates bedroom window (which now wont stay open when you want it to, i think its a sign) onto a really busy town centre street. The last quote said with my mate hanging his arse out the window.


That was at daft oclock all shouted out the window.

Good times lolz
 
"This is what life is all about"

I always find my self saying it or thinking it.

or simply

"WOW WOW WOW"
 
my friend last night on his first pill ever...

"dude, my feet are soaking wet, wtf"

...........

"DID I PEE ON THEM!?"

he was sitting on the ground with his legs in front of him, he lifts his legs up and looks at his crotch area on his pants...

"thanks god! I didn't! that would have been messy LOL!"

(the floor was just wet)
 
ahaha i can so relate to these quotes

yesterday couple things i said when i was rolling hard

"you guys are my best friends"

"this is the best night of the summer"

"i love you guys man"
 
my best friends first roll was at a party in our basement - we had blacklights set up all over and she ended up taking her clothes off & walked around in her bra and panties which were all white. They glowed like crazy and her reflection in our sliding glass doors was ILL! all u could see was the glowing reflection of her bra & panties. she goes:

"i'm a flowing,gloating panty and bra set" (meant to say floating, glowing)

she had a dust mask on with vicks inside it and a friend of ours was offering her a hit of weed and she goes "i'm happy inside here, thankyou"

the most e-tarded of her night was when she was trying to compliment me on the music was playing - i was wearing kitty ears all night. she goes:
"this music owns man, i want you with me every time i roll like my DJ Meowmmy" she said she meant to say DJ Mommy
 
The funniest quote I think I ever heard actually involved no words at all....

We walked up to my friend Anthony during the Summer at an outdoor party, asked how he was doing. He looks at us all wideeyed, pretends to pull his brain put of his head, pretends to throw it up into the air and then use a baseball bat, of course that was made out of air as well, to hit it into the field next of us. He even had his hand over his eyes to pretend like he was shielding the sun (this was in the middle of the night) turns around to us with a CRAZY goofy grin, and runs off :)

I think the most retarded thing I've ever done was when I was on salvia years ago, and my friends and I were dead silent, staring at the lights in my room. All of a sudden I said "Man, I just went to fucking Mexico" and my friends start cracking up... To this day, I swear I walked along the beaches of mexico, it might of only been in my mind, but I did it, lol
 
One night a group (at least 8 of us) were candyflipping in town.
This parade of people who seemed to have just walked out of The Mad Hatter's Ball was on their way to a friends place to smoke a much-needed blunt.
For several blocks near main street, the guy at the head of the parade remarks very audibly:

"I can't believe I'm ROLLING on Ecstacy and TRIPPING on Acid."

As if that wasn't bad enough, he was also drunk at the time, which added a nice slur to his profound statement.
He proceeded to repeat this several times despite our best efforts to silence him.
 
DragonFly31 said:
"I love you man, you're the best friend I've ever had and this is the best cigarette I've ever smoked and I wish I could feel like this all the time!...."
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i say that every time i roll atleast 20 times throughout the night to all my friends

another one i say is "this is why i was put on this earth" &
"i can die happy"

=D
 
one friend yelled at the dj once, "needs more cowball!"
"uh, cowbell?"
"whatever the fuck!!"

it was techno. lololol

also this girl i had just met, i said something along the lines of, "this shit always makes my pecker feel soooo weird!" somehow we're still dating %)

also a bunch of us were sitting in the club resting for a bit and a female friend looks at me and says, "i just took a shit." and im like "hahaha sweet." and then i think "wait a sec." so i think for a second and say to her, "you mean like just now?" and she's like "what?"
 
Picture this.

Smoke machine starts and the jet was right next to my friend so he was covered in in this smoke. He then slowly comes out of the fog with this wierd look on his face and says
" Hey this smoke machine is wierd.. The smoke tastes like Purple"
 
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