I'm feeling mediocre, better than yesterday I suppose. I went to social security and got my disability and medicare re-instated so that's something positive. Now I can go tot he hospital because I dislocated my shoulder and the pain is fucking excruciating, always some nonsense. And yeah, being on parole for fucking 3 years roughly is do-able. I'm not worried about that, and I can definitely stay clean for the time being. The urge to get high is pretty great, and yes I did cave th other day but I don't feel like doing it again anytime soon. we'll see.
At least I can go to the doctor and get my bi-polar bullshit under control (hopefully). My anxiety and shit has been rela bad lately.
I've survied all of this crazy bullshit, I should have been dead 8 times over. I hope I am still on this earth becasue I am destined to do something positive, hopefully with my writing. Though sometimes it is hard not to thinkt hat I am just stuck in hell for some reason, but I don't think I am a bad person, I just made numerous bad choices due to depression/drugs.