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NO-vember '14 -- SL Gettin & Stayin Sober Thread

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Good to see others are doing well with staying sober and wish strength to those who're trying.

This is my 4 month free from drugs(well not tobacco, but that's a demon I'll face later on).

No more prescription opiates, no more stims and not even any cannabis or alcohol.

This last month I've felt better then I have in a long while, like my mindset has completely changed now I no longer have the devil lurking over my shoulder. I rarely think about popping a pill or smoking a joint. An when I do, it's a passing thought. On the odd occasion I'll get the over bearing thought of the good times I had while drugged up, though I quickly remind myself of how the bad eventually outweighed all those. It's opened up a whole new life for me, which doesn't revolve around hiding from the world by taking drugs. I never honestly thought I'd feel this way when I first said it's time to stop, but never the less, I'm here.

It's great. I hope those who're trying to quit read this and know you can get there too. Things change, it doesn't feel like it to begin with, but they do. There's a void left at the start where once the drugs filled, but you learn to fill that void with things which you enjoy.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
I believe in some philosophical beliefs without being religious. I hope you find some beliefs that work for you dear <3
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thanks CH.


four days no heroin :) took 4mg sub today, half in the am half in the pm. will do the same tomorrow and on friday try to go to 3. Or maybe 2, not sure. They say the jump from 4 to 2 isn't that bad, that it only gets bad once you get under 1 mg... but I'm hoping by being on it less than two weeks I'll minimize any problems.

Didn't seriously consider using at all today. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I won't have the ability to get out and get anything, then if I make it to Friday I'll have six days, might as well spend one more day clean and get a week, right? :)
 
I am 31 days

Happy Thanksgiving to EERYONE. I am so thankful to have a whole month off suboxone.

To be honest though I am still having suicidal thoughts. I am hoping for it to stop.
 
If these thoughts remain, wouldn´t you consider taking a medication, like an antidepressant just for a while.

It worked for me when I was in a similar situation and I only took them for 6-8 months. Not addictive at all.

Anyway, good luck Captain!!
 
Erikmen said:
If these thoughts remain, wouldn´t you consider taking a medication, like an antidepressant just for a while.

It worked for me when I was in a similar situation and I only took them for 6-8 months. Not addictive at all.
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I think it is important to point out that just because something isn't addictive doesn't mean it doesn't have a potentially long and drawn out withdrawal syndrome. I'm not really making an argument against the use of antidepressants but it isn't something that should be jumped into with no research, always weigh the costs and benefits of any new medication. Strangely enough lots of antidepressants are actually contraindicated in those who exhibit suicidal thoughts or tendencies.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I am feeling pretty good today and I hope every one else is doing well.
 
Erikmen said:
If these thoughts remain, wouldn´t you consider taking a medication, like an antidepressant just for a while.

It worked for me when I was in a similar situation and I only took them for 6-8 months. Not addictive at all.

Anyway, good luck Captain!!
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I would never use antidepressants again. Philosophical and empirical knowledge has taught me doing so is a bad idea.

Thanks man. I am so thankful for my first month off again.
 
Feel like i am being tested by my addiction, the last days were pretty much one big craving fest. I have to really resort to my willpower and inner strenght to stay sober. I almost walked out to get some a couple of times, but i really notice myself thinking more of the bad (hangover, shame, guilt, failure) rather then the good (temporary relieve). I knew it would be hard, sometimes straight survival, but its hard to get this much craving all of a sudden, being 104 days clean and sober now.

In all honoustly, i think i might be actually getting controle over my situation. I hate to have these panick attacks and anxiety, but i love to overcome them.
Im in a rapid proces of maturing very quickly, that comes and goes with ups and downs, it was a tough day, but when i wake up tomorrow i'll be relieved not to have relapsed. This puts a smile on my face and allready makes me feel better.

My actions were, helping thoughts, cleaning the house, taking a walk, taking a hot shower.

104 days :D!
 
Erikmen said:
I am always craving for different things so that I don´t get so tired and frustrating with my work all the time.
If you have quit heroin for some time now I think your body lacks endorphin and it´s normal to feel like that imo.
Quite a relief to wake up from such dreams I suppose..
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Yeah, it really is a relief… My dreams have been insane lately… but I have felt emotionally blunted in waking life… just flat lately in general, At the same time have a feeling anxiety might start kicking in soon as I know there is suppressed material within me, which points out in my dreams. I don't think my natural endorphins are quite back either. True, and why stimulants sound appealing, although I know it's the opiates that my body still misses. Any day off opiates (any drug) is better than any day using though. :)
 
I feel like the 2mg barely hit me today :/ im guessing thats cos the 8mg from sun, 6 from mon, ect, are out of my system now so my blood levels are lower. Not sure what to do, i only have 4 8mg pills left. I'd kind of like to take 1 more mg now & then 2 tonight.... Ive got a long day ahead, leaving at 2 this afternoon to go to the 9ers game, wont get back til probly 9 at night. I dont want to be out all day feeling like crap.

Its just weird, i feel like only a 1/4 of that 2ng really hit me :/

Eta: but i dont want to be a baby about it either... Its hard right now because im not sure what normal even feels like, so its hard to judge sometimes, whether i legit need more sub or its just that im used to having all my receptors filled and it feels like something's wrong when i don't.
 
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njirem said:
Feel like i am being tested by my addiction, the last days were pretty much one big craving fest. I have to really resort to my willpower and inner strenght to stay sober. I almost walked out to get some a couple of times, but i really notice myself thinking more of the bad (hangover, shame, guilt, failure) rather then the good (temporary relieve). I knew it would be hard, sometimes straight survival, but its hard to get this much craving all of a sudden, being 104 days clean and sober now.

In all honoustly, i think i might be actually getting controle over my situation. I hate to have these panick attacks and anxiety, but i love to overcome them.
Im in a rapid proces of maturing very quickly, that comes and goes with ups and downs, it was a tough day, but when i wake up tomorrow i'll be relieved not to have relapsed. This puts a smile on my face and allready makes me feel better.

My actions were, helping thoughts, cleaning the house, taking a walk, taking a hot shower.

104 days :D!
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Yet you sound very positive and seem to know how to deal with your problems. That is quite mature.
It took me a long time and many relapses to become a little like that. But anxiety is an issue for me.

@Smoky, I think your statement stands very well "Any day off opiates is better than any day using..".
Congrats on the progress!!:)

And happy Thanksgiving to everyone!!
 
Hey Erik thanks for the feedback, but let there be no mistake, ive been an addict half my life (from age 14, im 28 now) and i've had my share of relapses and failures haha. Its not like this is my first attempt, it is however, my first REAL attempt.

How are you doing by the way? Do you have a schedule for your subs to taper down?

@BlueSaffron: Hang in there! Ive been reading your comments i wonder if you arent going (way) too fast? Cant you spread it out over a longer period? It sounds like its just too much, maybe you should talk to your doctor about options to delay the taper and have a bigger change to succeed?

Look at going out today as a positive thing though, it 'll take your mind of the bad stuff, and its better to be out and feel like crap then to be at home doing nothing and feel like crap ;)

<3
 
Thanks Njirem. I can tell you have experience from the way you analyse life in general.
That´s a real plus this REAL attempt of yours. I´m sure you will do fine.
I´m actually on methadone for sometime now, but always aiming to reach a lower dose, somewhere in between 30-40 mg daily.
I managed once to stay with only 20 mg from a much, much greater dose in the beginning.
There is a possibility that I stay on for few years though as this was the only real way I made it through!
But thanks to this my life is totally 'normal'..:\ or as normal as it can be, I guess
 
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njirem said:
@BlueSaffron: Hang in there! Ive been reading your comments i wonder if you arent going (way) too fast? Cant you spread it out over a longer period? It sounds like its just too much, maybe you should talk to your doctor about options to delay the taper and have a bigger change to succeed?

Look at going out today as a positive thing though, it 'll take your mind of the bad stuff, and its better to be out and feel like crap then to be at home doing nothing and feel like crap ;)

<3
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I actually feel better now, more like it's kicked in, it's weird though, it took almost 2 1/2 hrs, it usually takes an hour to an hour and a half. I still want to take 1 more mg though, because y'know, thanksgiving. That's a valid reason, right? Seriously though, I feel much better.

I'm purposely doing a very rapid sub taper. I didn't get them from my dr, I got them from a friend, hence the limited amount. I could probably get a few more from him but I'm not sure - he sells them & also takes them himself and I'm not sure if he has any spares left. But I don't want to be on subs long term or even medium term. I do accept that it's an option I may have to choose, if this rapid taper doesn't work. I can get subs through my med ins and all that, would take a few days for an appointment, that's all. But I'd like to see if I can do a quick taper like some others have had success with, and just be off it. I expect to feel a little crappy as I lower my dose, I was just surprised I felt that way today since I've been doing 4 mg a day since tuesday. I'm thinking 5 mg today (pretty sure I'm taking 1 more mg after I type this, then 2 tonight). This is what I'm thinking:

32 mg left

3 more today = 29
3 friday =26
3 saturday = 23
3 sunday = 20
2 monday = 18
2 tuesday = 16
2 wednesday = 14
2 thursday = 12
2 friday = 10
1 saturday = 9
1 sunday = 8
1 monday = 7
1 tuesday = 6
.5 wednesday = 5.5
.5 thursday = 5
.5 friday = 4.5
.5 saturday = 4
.5 sunday = 3.5
skip monday
.5 tuesday =3
skip wedesday = 2.5
skip thursday
.5 friday = 2

jump, with 2 mg left so I can take .5 if it gets really dicey.
 
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Congratulations!
You´ve gone through the worst already.
Now you just need to stay still and deal with possible cravings, as you might know too well.
 
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