Nitrous Oxide "ghosts", invisible people, auras and spirits

[MGods]

Oh, were you really so wrong about the being attempting to communicate through the television? Think that one through, What were you truly sensing?

 

[UMPHREAK64]

I've been doing nitrous on and off for the last 10 years. I take long breaks from it for fear of losing my sanity. But when I do it I go on a week long binge, and get deeper and deeper. I started seeing the ghosts last year. My first hallucinations were bugs out of the corners of my eye. I'd see them then look at them or swat at them and they would disappear. Sometimes I'll see someone walking down the side of the road at night but when I pass them they are not really there. Only recently did I find myself sitting with a ghost and talking to him. He scared my dog and she peed everywhere. She has a problem peeing inside now and I feel like it's their presence. I've seen the ghosts before, but they weren't as vivid. More like when you see a bright light and close your eyes and see the image in your head. They were like that. But now they appear and if I keep my high going at the same consistency they stay with me. I'm afraid to tell anyone because they will think I'm crazy. The only person who knows is someone I used to do a lot of nitrous with. He told me he saw them, and to be careful because if I keep doing them I'll start to see them too. We connected because we both loved being outside ourselves. And getting deeper and deeper into this supernatural realm we found on nitrous trips. He knew I was close. He could probably sense it like you said. Even though he warned me I still get scared when I see them. Sometimes I recognize hem sometimes I don't. Sometimes it scares me so much I swear I'll never to NOS again. But something makes me want to know more. I just want to know and see it for myself because I've never believed in anything until now. How has it affected you, medically speaking? Do you suffer from any permanent damage? Sometimes my arms and legs twitch but that started happening more recently without nitrous. I'm scared but I want to know more and I don't know what to do. I can't talk to anyone about it. I can't talk to the guy that used to see them too because his fiancé will get mad. Please help.

 

[tremours]

do you use balloons, i cant imagine doind that many canisters. after having so many balloons pop in my face, i dont know why youd do so much

 

[swilow]

after having so many balloons pop in my face, i dont know why youd do so much

Personally, I feel like there's better reasons to not consume that much nitrous

The OP was interesting. I guess you could read something messianic into drug experiences, but I am always really cautious when people tell me that things in the 'real world' have changed due to something gained from a drug experience. I don't mean lessons learned, or insights or whatever, but when someone tells me they took something tangible back from a trip and it effects the real world (such as the OP's magnetism to women), I question it. It seems like psychedelics and dissociatives alter our perception of the real world so dramatically that I do not feel the observer can make especially valid claims appealing to their own subjectivity. The whole notion of observation is distorted, especially in chronic use.

To the whole ghost-people; I found the story really interesting and well worth reading. Considering it evidence for the after-life is probably somewhat overstating it, but these sort of experiences demonstrate how incredibly powerful the brain is. You shouldn't discount that fact; the brain is constantly running complex simulations of reality- it can imagine almost anything. Why not wall-ghosts and animal charisma?

 

[tremours]

There are better reasons of course, I was just wondering how they went through that many

 

[Universal Unison]

Definitely reassuring to see I'm not the only one. It can be very scary at times especially when questioning your sanity, being completely separated from your body, telepathy, being there, seeing them here and having things happen around you when your straight that don't fit into this world/reality/plain/place we're in. I'm looking at it both spiritually and scientifically and hope to find something tangible I can work with to bring something useful for us all but as many of us know what epiphanies, truths and reflections we find whilst we are there is just a fleeting thought when we come back. I've done much research and voyaging but this is my first post to put myself out there and see what happens.
Special thanks to op and to themerryprankster for sharing his story in a different post, really helped me to decide if I would join this community or not.

 

[Drug_User]

I love auras on psychedelics feels like I actually took a vacation somewhere.

 

[psy997]

Special thanks to op and to themerryprankster for sharing his story in a different post, really helped me to decide if I would join this community or not.

Welcome We're glad you're here

 

[Bella Figura]

Any Nitrous users should check out this book.

Interesting to see trip reports from 1799 :D

 

[Vastness]

I know the original post in this thread is almost a year old, but, wow, that was some crazy shit, and a very interesting read.

Obviously what the OP should have done is set up some cameras when these ghosts were exerting poltergeist effects, tried to get some facts out of the ghosts about the people they apparently represented, then confirm these things with the people themselves - especially with those ghosts of people who he had not yet met, or were already dead. Following that he should have taken the One Million Dollar Paranormal Challenge when his telepathic powers were at their peak and earned both an easy million and hopefully awakened humankind to their latent telekinetic powers in the process... it's a shame that so many opportunities to do this seem to go to waste. 8)

 

[Universal Unison]

Good read thanks

 

[Xorkoth]

Thanks for that, I've been reading some of the other articles, really fascinating stuff.

 

[Ehb0ss]

I enjoyed your story. I have had a similar experience with nitrous, where trips continued and advanced each trip. I also had a couple of imaginary nitrous only friends. One was a small rainbow guy with a sword. There were some weird lizards. Some strange "japanese" call center that I would end up in with a big spider in the middle. Psychedelics made trips with nitrous impossibly insane. I mean, just.. no way to describe how unreal and far out it goes. Liberal use of nitrous while trippping always left me convinced of the multiverse. I also am fairly convinced that at one point on acid, ketamine, and nitrous, that I switched between a multiverse version where we didn't have a bathroom rug into one where we do. My wife swears we'd had it forever, even showed me the hairdye stains on it when I was convinced it was new and she was fucking with me. Portals would open up that things ran out of, but would get sucked back into when the high died off. Once a giant purple bus drove out of, filled with random faceless entities in baseball uniforms, just drove through and into another portal.. Some african tribal people sprayed my vision with blood red making me have a near panic attack and then laughed as they then used it as a canvas to spray paint some tribal mask designs on. Cosmic firedancers, a giant gorilla that filled the whole room, some super-man like character that went around to different realities just because he could.

I also used hundreds of nitrous cannisters a day for weks, then I'd break for a month or two, then come back for a couple weeks. Cases upon cases for four about years. The continuity of my trips started from the very beginning, even when I would guy buy a couple boxes of 30 from the pornshop. My eyelids would put on a show for me in 3d using triangles and whips of light and brief flashes of color. I was in direct communication with a small rounded rainbow sword guy most often. He had his preferred songs that he did the best shows for, "teach me how to dougie" and "My feelings for you". I'd listen to the same few songs on repeat probably thousands of times. I'd meet all sorts of entities, some visible some invisible. There were weird mini-games. I controlled some sort of long-legged robot in a game, where I was literally contained within the weird robot and could feel myself walking around as it. Mostly I just watched the shows. When the show would be 'done' for whatever reason, the clarity of the image would get worse. Things would look bubbly rather than crisp and sharp. That meant I was done for the day and I'd say my goodbyes and come back another day. Eventually I could keep the images clear for longer. One recurring game style was these kaleidoscopic maze like patterns that I would stare into and navigate, pushing me deeper into them until they'd "pop" meaning I'd explored them to the end. I got more and more advanced puzzles with more unexpected turns and complex geometry and completing them game me a distinct feeling of accomplishment. Then one day I met this weird demon keyhole-puzzle. I could feel it was darker and sharper than the usual ones. I stared into it and it was like this elaborate unlocking mechanism and the "Pop!" stabbed me right in the fucking eye. It hurt terribly. It was like a hot needle right behind my eyeball.

This asshole started showing up every few days. I could feel his weight in my left eye sometimes. I started noticing my floaters a lot even sober. I'd be in some nitrous headspace, and that fucker would just pop up, under the grass once, on my ceiling, from in the wall. I started getting anxiety just looking into my own left eye in the mirror because it felt like I might get that sudden shocking stabbing pain, even if it'd been weeks since I'd used nitrous. He was like a circle with a gem and he felt heavy in my eye and brought all my attention to the cold feeling in my left cheek. Once I saw him I'd divert my gaze to try to avoid 'popping' him, but if I kept going it would happen anyway. Then the familiar stab. It hurt like fuck. A couple of times I remember him convincing me it was 'just a prank bro' basically. Like he was making the cold air of breathing in feel like a stab as some sort of psychological trick, but nothing actually bad was happening. Anyway, I can't get away from the stab anymore. I said by to the space and rainbow guy who would always put on an amazing show for me. At the time my habit absolutely convinced me that there must be entities or something beyond that we psychicly can communicate with. In retrospect I imagine it was more of an illusion akin to my brain somehow creating two separate egos or 'self-referential loops', one of which is completely subconscious and created using a part of my brain not usually used for that purpose. I couldn't hear the formation of it's thoughts in the way that I can hear my own, only their completed form, so it's an amazing trick. Or maybe entities, who knows.

I've done it a few times since, and it seems to happen even after just 30 cartridges. The past few times the stabbing seems to occur off and on for the next 12 hours after I use nitrous, making it impossible to sleep. The last time I used them I ended up in an ER because the pain was so intense and I couldn't sleep because it was happening randomly for so long. Obviously, they didn't do anything for me and I just wasted my money and embarassed myself, then went home to wait it out for another 12 hours or so. Thankfully it stopped. Strangely I once woke up from the same intense stabbing, a year ago, even though it'd been a full year since I'd done any nitrous.

I've vowed never to do them again because of this. I wish I could, but it's been a couple years now and I remember how bad the pain was. I always took b12, a sublingual prep with high absorption, so I have a feeling that the pressure of the gas affected something in my sinuses. I don't really know. It felt like nerve pain, the way it travelled like a burning wick behind my eye down to the posterior roof of my mouth. My left sinuses are still weird. I have a feeling they will be forever. Nothing bad, but I'm more aware of the feeling of the cold air of breathing in it than I am with the right side of my face.

Anyway, not a cautionary tale, sorry if it came off that way because I don't know WTF happened with me. More of just reminiscing. I miss it. I miss the familiarity of it and my 'friend' and the people I'd meet and the advancement of each trip. How it was like an alternate story that I actually had continuity in, similar to my real life, but with rules and meaning and players that are completely distinct from the normal world. Your post reminded me of that.

TLDR? Nostalgic rambling.

 

[modata]

Noz dissociates, or switches one from consciousness to an semi-conscious dream like state. Then, not being classically asleep, one remains 'aware'.

All the hallucinations are like the 'normal' (dreaming) subconscious.. Yet remembered; some eerily, shockingly, or profoundly... If they bother you, just forget them as with any other thousands of 'stupid' dreams

While the profound 'vibes' come from the noz chemical producing brain 'pleasure'; also unreal.

If you're interested read on hypnagogic, and hypnopompic semi-conscious states... These semi-dreaming states occur when first falling asleep, and first waking.

Thanks for sharing, and I'm gonna carefully limit noz use...more isn't always best... live and learn... yummmmmm

 

[Solipsis]

wth man you're hoarding the proof? :D

welcome? to bluelight?

 

[psy997]

bump for prune

 

[Trichocereusnz]

I go through nos phases, I Take a bunch of shrooms and have many nangs. I see auras heaps, ive seen spirits, sometimes of friends etc but also dark sinister spirits , i also have had the TV telling me things on many occasions(every time i'm by a TV ). I always feel that there is a higher power pulling the strings. I know everything during the trip then forget. I get the feeling many people have tried to decipher it but no one has, and to stop before you go nuts.
pretty much most trips i create music in my head, and it gets me up and dancing. always the same tune, very much like psycore. I have thought of nos as a way of dimension hopping, but i believe NOS can cause temporary delusions, psychosis etc.. so i wouldn't recommend believing too deeply into the nos experience. But its fun to chase that knowledge , just take lots of breaks and that will keep it special. Id say more but these are my own delusions and will only ever make sense to me. I think with nos is all about the experience not trying to figure it out to tell others. Lovely with any psychedelic's!

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Ok. I may be in the wrong section with this post. I'm new to BlueLight. I've never publicly commented on this before. Several years ago I got heavy into nitrous oxide. I mean heavy. I was doing an average of 200-400 nitrous canisters per day for about 2-3 years. Take a minute to reflect on that before you continue reading...

After a few months of heavy nitrous use, I started to have an unusual experience. As i was coming out of my "fishing" I would get the distinct impression that there was someone else in the room with me. As i used more heavily it started to seem like I could actually see a glimpse of someone out of the corner of my eye, and often it seemed like they were reaching out to pass me something, like a joint or a balloon. A few times I actually passed the balloon to my "invisible friend" on accident while under the effects of the nitrous and watched the balloon flutter away. The more I used nitrous, the more visible my "invisible friend" became, and eventually, after about 6 months of heavy daily huffing, he had become a fully visible silhouette I could look at and interact with while under the influence of NOS. He looked like the shape of a person but invisible. Exactly like in the movie "predator" when the predator has his "cloaking device" thing on and he's like a clear silhoutte of himself.

I became increasingly fascinated by my "invisible friend". He usually appeared stuck in the wall of my apartment, like he was halfway sticking out of the wall. I could watch him and interact with him. I couldn't hear him, but he seemed to hear me talking and I was able to establish a basic level of communication using basic non-verbal communication. You'd be amazed how much of our ability to communicate is unspoken. Mannerism and simple gestures were easy to interpret and he seemed to just hang out there all the time, hanging halfway out of the wall every time I started huffing NOS. I began to affectionately refer to him as "guy in the wall" and we spent months just hanging out together while I did NOS.

Around this time I began to realize that unlike other drugs, the nitrous trip builds on itself and continues to get deeper with each experience. Unlike LSD which is a completely different "trip" each time, the nitrous experience is more like a video game that pauses each time you stop using, and restarts from the same place once you begin huffing again. Around this time I also started to notice that there seemed to be progress with each trip and a serious of "puzzles and challenges" laid out before me like a video game. I started to meet new "invisible people" and strange muppet like characters. Each one seemed to represent some sort of "challenge" or puzzle. Much like a video game I would continue to repeat the same character until I figured out their puzzle, and moved on to the next level. After passing one of these "challenges" I would have the sensation and visual hallucination of being relocated along a massive elaborate grid or maze. Like I was rapidly "leveling up" and I could feel myself rushing through some kind of grid lines like an Alex Grey painting. Then I would be deposited at a new location on the grid and face a new set of challenges with a new host of "invisible people". When I passed these "tests" and was relocated on the grid, it always seemed like I was moving closer to the center of a gigantic cosmic labyrinth.

As time went on the characters became more vivid. More defined. Sharper edges and more clear. I could communicate with them more easily.

One day I noticed that one of my invisible friends had the same body shape and mannerisms as one of my real life friends. He seemed like a perfect "invisible copy" of my friend. I began to look around at my other invisible friends (at this point I had a crew of about 20 invisible people who just loitered around my apartment with me, watching me huff NOS all day). I began too look more closely at the silhouettes of the other invisible people and quickly realized they were all the silhouettes of people I have know and been friends with over the years. All the "ghosts" in my apartment were actually my best friends from real life. I began to spot them one by one and figure out which ghost was which person from "real life". All my friends were there, all my family, even friends who died many years ago. And sure enough, I was there too. There was my ghost, hanging out with all the other ghosts... drinking beer and goofing around. They all seemed to be pretty happy and having a generally good time. Occasionally they seemed to argue with each other and have disputes, I even saw a few fights, but for the most part they seemed pretty good natured. But I didn't recognize all of the invisible people. Some were strangers. I always figured they were just people I haven't met yet and become friends with later in life.

Once I solved this "puzzle" their identities were always very easy to distinguish. Each "ghost" felt like the person they were in real life. I could tell who I was talking to based on their "feel" without having to closely examine their silhouette. Occasionally I confused people who had a similar "energy", but for the most part I was able to start addressing them by name. I became friends with my own ghost. I caught up with a friend who died when we were kids. I developed a crush on a female who I referred to as the "cheshire cat girl". Years later I suspect it was the woman I am currently dating, who I hadn't met yet at that point in my life. She is the love of my life and my "dream girl" who I'm currently planning to marry. She's a knockout suicide girl who I've been obsessed with since we were young, but I didn't personally know her yet at that point. I actually saw the ghosts of other women who I hadn't met yet, but I would later date and have relationships with. I met my ex-girlfriend as a ghost years before meeting her in real life.

At some point around this time I started to communicate with them using my mind. We could have "telepathic conversations" without talking. I also began seeing them in color. As I would exhale my cloud of frozen gas and slip into the "nitrous wonderland" the cloud of gas would pass across their silhouettes, illuminating them in full color. They were beautiful fractalized and angelic versions of the real people they represented. As each of their their "ghost faces" were shown to me for the first time, I was able to see the profound beauty of each one of them. Their "ghost faces" were shown to me one by one over the course of a few months. Their faces were the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Too beautiful for words. Like a perfect radiant angelic version of the real person. Around this time I also began to see them when I was sober and other spooky things started happening while I was sober. When I would walk past fluorescent lights they would begin to flicker. Strange things started happening to the lights wherever I went. Lights seemed to dim and flicker when I would walk into a room. I started to have a really powerful presence and people started to seem entranced by me. I started to feel like I was developing strange supernatural powers. I felt like I could read peoples mind and see into the future. Women became easy to attract. New friends flocked to me. I could have any woman I wanted. I became extremely popular. I had a strange mystical energy that attracted women. I started to have a very "Aliester Crowly" vibe that made people attracted to me. Getting laid with beautiful women became laughably easy. I began jokingly referring to myself as the "shaman of the dark", the "ghost hunter" and the "one who walks between shadows".

It was also around this time that I began to reach the "center of the maze" and I was no longer solving puzzles put before me by the "ghosts" and instead I just worked on developing my "powers". At one point I had an incredibly vivid hallucination that i was being "tattooed" or "modified" by some sort of powerful entity. The ghosts "dosed me" with an invisible drug. They applied something like toothpaste to the back of my hand and sprinkled it with powder. Afterwards I spent two weeks going through the most agonizing pain imaginable. It felt worse than kicking heroin. The substance they applied to my hand actually burned my skin and I still have a scar from it. Actually I think that happened right before I developed the "supernatural powers". There were also other "invisible entities" who were not my real life friends. They seemed much more powerful, like some sort of demi-gods. They often appeared in the form of animals or part animal and part human. The other "ghosts" seemed to have immense respect for these "demi-god-characters". They were obviously not human, or ghosts or whatever, but some other, higher lifeform. I had some powerful and humbling experiences with these "demi-god" characters. All the "invisible people" could travel through time and space and manipulate the physical world around me. They would occasionally knock things off the table, open and close doors, mess with the lights, music etc. but mostly they stayed confined to their own plane in which I was a visitor. Elements of my world seemed to overlap their own. My couch would be sitting on a tropic beach or the edge of a cliff rather than in my living room. They would open doors that didn't exist and walk up stairways or ladders that weren't visible to me. The doorways and windows in my house became doorways to different dimensions. I would watch as a dozen intoxicated "ghosts" came stumbling out of my closet, or climbed down up a ladder that wasn't there. One ghost unzipped the air in front of me like he was opening a tent, stepped through it and disappeared.

One of the more powerful things I experienced was a very clear and vivid hallucination that I was put into a "cockpit" type contraption. Something like a cross between a carnival ride and cockpit of space ship. Then I was zapped with some sort of electricity or something and I was immediately encased in a strange orange substance. I was then quickly "cut out" of the orange substance by some type of lazer and hung up in a strange round tank where I was lined up with other tanks full of people. I stayed in the "tank" for several days and it seemed like my "body" was undergoing some type of futuristic medical procedure.

Eventually I became so messed up from all the huffing that my friends and loved ones became very concerned and I had to stop doing NOS completely. It took about 2 years for the ghosts to "fade away" and during that time a referred to them as my "mount rushmore of invisible friends". They were all there hovering around me and guiding me like guardian angels. I still felt like I had "super powers" during this time. Beautiful women flocked to me, everyone wanted to know me and be my friend. Meanwhile my family and close friends cried about my "madness" and thought I had lost my mind. I carried continual conversations with my "invisible friends" everywhere I went. People thought I was insane, yet they were inexorably drawn to me. Women would call me crazy one minute and sleep with me the next. It was a surreal time in my life. I stopped using NOS and just spent my time drinking in bars and taking advantage of my "supernatural" ability to pick up women. And eventually it all faded into the past. I still have a really powerful presence, and women seem mystified by me, but I no longer see my invisible friends. I always have a sense that they are with me watching over me, but they are no longer a part of my life. I moved on. I got a job. I started a relationship with the woman I've always desired (hot doesn't even come close to describing her... she's one of the most popular models from the suicide girls website. she's like a dream come true) and most importantly I stopped using nitrous. Lately I've been dabbling with drugs again. We have been experimenting with heroin. But for the most part my life is normal. You would never guess that I used to be the ghost hunter.

These were the "major lessons" I took away from my years doing nitrous.

1. Death is not the end. Our souls are eternal. After death you will effectively remain the same person you were in life (this was a big one for me because I've always been an athiest, so this came as a big shock to me)
2. Santa Clause isn't the only one watching you and deciding if you've been naughty or nice. There's something I call the illusion of privacy. For a long time it was hard for me to masturbate because I couldn't get used to the idea of "everyone watching". Now I just make sure to put on a good show.
3. What you do with the time you've been given in your physical body matters. I don't pretend to know how it all works, but the things you do in this life matter very much and you will have to live with the choices you make in this lifetime. I can't really elaborate beyond that, but I suggest you don't waste your time on this planet because the things you do here matter more than you could possibly realize. In a way I think you continue to relive the choices you made in your life long after your death.

So in conclusion I want to state that 100% of this is true and exactly what I experienced. I don't expect you to believe it, but it happened. So that's my story. You may want to use caution when experimenting with nitrous. It's way more powerful than people realize. And if you use nitrous, try to keep your eyes open and look for the "invisible people". Who knows, maybe you'll see me around...

That's a crazy amount of nitrous! I have heard that people have had very spiritual experiences on nitrous oxide. William James had a spiritual experience on nitrous.

A good friend of mine used lots of nitrous in the early 1990s, not as much as you did but still he went crazy with the whipped cream chargers.

I dabbled with nitrous, had med grade once the first time, and food grade the other three or four times I used it. It went very well with weed or hash, on mushrooms and weed it just made me very confused, so I never used it again. I never went crazy with it as I remember being 19 and trying to buy food grade whipped cream chargers and the whipped cream maker at a kitchen supply store and the guy working there refused to sell it to me. I did not enjoy nitrous enough to go to a headshop to buy the EZ-WHIP brand chargers and a cracker although friends did. I also would take a B-Vitamin complex after using nitrous, as well as Vitamin C.

I have had fun watching the ntrious mafia at work before and after concerts, and watching people inhale nitrous standing up and fall right on their ass. I remember a friend's girlfriend in highschool inhaled some nitrous standing up and fell on a glass coffee table and hurt her ass when the glass broke and cut her ass. It was not so bad that she had to go to a hospital.

I actually do agree with your three lessons that you had with your spiritual experiences on nitrous.

Recreational use of nitrous oxide - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

The Nitrous Oxide Philosopher

Do drugs make religious experience possible? They did for James and for other philosopher-mystics of his day. James's experiments with psychoactive drugs raise difficult questions about belief and its conditions

www.theatlantic.com

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

That is exactly what it felt like.

I'm surprised more people haven't come forward to reveal they had similar experiences on NOS. Maybe there aren't many people who've gone that far down the rabbit hole with NOS, or it's something people are ashamed to admit because of the obvious association with mental illness and schizophrenia. I was hoping more people would tell stories about NOS and "the other side"

Seth Material - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

The TV show six feet under also depicts this very well, as does Burroughs or who my icon is, in his novels and short stories.

Nitrous just made me laugh a lot. The med grade nitrous oxide I had the first time made me feel numb which was good as they gave me an IV of Valium before my extremely impacted wisdom teeth-they were 12 on a 1-10 scale, were removed with a chisel and hammer by a deeply closeted and possibly HIV+ oral surgeon. I was not infected, and he later sadly took his own life. Rest in peace.

The nitrous was excellent as it made my body numb, and I usually tense up when I get blood taken or get a vaccine as I really dislike needles and have to close my eyes. But I did not with nitrous! I did not even look away.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Ok. I may be in the wrong section with this post. I'm new to BlueLight. I've never publicly commented on this before. Several years ago I got heavy into nitrous oxide. I mean heavy. I was doing an average of 200-400 nitrous canisters per day for about 2-3 years. Take a minute to reflect on that before you continue reading...

After a few months of heavy nitrous use, I started to have an unusual experience. As i was coming out of my "fishing" I would get the distinct impression that there was someone else in the room with me. As i used more heavily it started to seem like I could actually see a glimpse of someone out of the corner of my eye, and often it seemed like they were reaching out to pass me something, like a joint or a balloon. A few times I actually passed the balloon to my "invisible friend" on accident while under the effects of the nitrous and watched the balloon flutter away. The more I used nitrous, the more visible my "invisible friend" became, and eventually, after about 6 months of heavy daily huffing, he had become a fully visible silhouette I could look at and interact with while under the influence of NOS. He looked like the shape of a person but invisible. Exactly like in the movie "predator" when the predator has his "cloaking device" thing on and he's like a clear silhoutte of himself.

I became increasingly fascinated by my "invisible friend". He usually appeared stuck in the wall of my apartment, like he was halfway sticking out of the wall. I could watch him and interact with him. I couldn't hear him, but he seemed to hear me talking and I was able to establish a basic level of communication using basic non-verbal communication. You'd be amazed how much of our ability to communicate is unspoken. Mannerism and simple gestures were easy to interpret and he seemed to just hang out there all the time, hanging halfway out of the wall every time I started huffing NOS. I began to affectionately refer to him as "guy in the wall" and we spent months just hanging out together while I did NOS.

Around this time I began to realize that unlike other drugs, the nitrous trip builds on itself and continues to get deeper with each experience. Unlike LSD which is a completely different "trip" each time, the nitrous experience is more like a video game that pauses each time you stop using, and restarts from the same place once you begin huffing again. Around this time I also started to notice that there seemed to be progress with each trip and a serious of "puzzles and challenges" laid out before me like a video game. I started to meet new "invisible people" and strange muppet like characters. Each one seemed to represent some sort of "challenge" or puzzle. Much like a video game I would continue to repeat the same character until I figured out their puzzle, and moved on to the next level. After passing one of these "challenges" I would have the sensation and visual hallucination of being relocated along a massive elaborate grid or maze. Like I was rapidly "leveling up" and I could feel myself rushing through some kind of grid lines like an Alex Grey painting. Then I would be deposited at a new location on the grid and face a new set of challenges with a new host of "invisible people". When I passed these "tests" and was relocated on the grid, it always seemed like I was moving closer to the center of a gigantic cosmic labyrinth.

As time went on the characters became more vivid. More defined. Sharper edges and more clear. I could communicate with them more easily.

One day I noticed that one of my invisible friends had the same body shape and mannerisms as one of my real life friends. He seemed like a perfect "invisible copy" of my friend. I began to look around at my other invisible friends (at this point I had a crew of about 20 invisible people who just loitered around my apartment with me, watching me huff NOS all day). I began too look more closely at the silhouettes of the other invisible people and quickly realized they were all the silhouettes of people I have know and been friends with over the years. All the "ghosts" in my apartment were actually my best friends from real life. I began to spot them one by one and figure out which ghost was which person from "real life". All my friends were there, all my family, even friends who died many years ago. And sure enough, I was there too. There was my ghost, hanging out with all the other ghosts... drinking beer and goofing around. They all seemed to be pretty happy and having a generally good time. Occasionally they seemed to argue with each other and have disputes, I even saw a few fights, but for the most part they seemed pretty good natured. But I didn't recognize all of the invisible people. Some were strangers. I always figured they were just people I haven't met yet and become friends with later in life.

Once I solved this "puzzle" their identities were always very easy to distinguish. Each "ghost" felt like the person they were in real life. I could tell who I was talking to based on their "feel" without having to closely examine their silhouette. Occasionally I confused people who had a similar "energy", but for the most part I was able to start addressing them by name. I became friends with my own ghost. I caught up with a friend who died when we were kids. I developed a crush on a female who I referred to as the "cheshire cat girl". Years later I suspect it was the woman I am currently dating, who I hadn't met yet at that point in my life. She is the love of my life and my "dream girl" who I'm currently planning to marry. She's a knockout suicide girl who I've been obsessed with since we were young, but I didn't personally know her yet at that point. I actually saw the ghosts of other women who I hadn't met yet, but I would later date and have relationships with. I met my ex-girlfriend as a ghost years before meeting her in real life.

At some point around this time I started to communicate with them using my mind. We could have "telepathic conversations" without talking. I also began seeing them in color. As I would exhale my cloud of frozen gas and slip into the "nitrous wonderland" the cloud of gas would pass across their silhouettes, illuminating them in full color. They were beautiful fractalized and angelic versions of the real people they represented. As each of their their "ghost faces" were shown to me for the first time, I was able to see the profound beauty of each one of them. Their "ghost faces" were shown to me one by one over the course of a few months. Their faces were the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Too beautiful for words. Like a perfect radiant angelic version of the real person. Around this time I also began to see them when I was sober and other spooky things started happening while I was sober. When I would walk past fluorescent lights they would begin to flicker. Strange things started happening to the lights wherever I went. Lights seemed to dim and flicker when I would walk into a room. I started to have a really powerful presence and people started to seem entranced by me. I started to feel like I was developing strange supernatural powers. I felt like I could read peoples mind and see into the future. Women became easy to attract. New friends flocked to me. I could have any woman I wanted. I became extremely popular. I had a strange mystical energy that attracted women. I started to have a very "Aliester Crowly" vibe that made people attracted to me. Getting laid with beautiful women became laughably easy. I began jokingly referring to myself as the "shaman of the dark", the "ghost hunter" and the "one who walks between shadows".

It was also around this time that I began to reach the "center of the maze" and I was no longer solving puzzles put before me by the "ghosts" and instead I just worked on developing my "powers". At one point I had an incredibly vivid hallucination that i was being "tattooed" or "modified" by some sort of powerful entity. The ghosts "dosed me" with an invisible drug. They applied something like toothpaste to the back of my hand and sprinkled it with powder. Afterwards I spent two weeks going through the most agonizing pain imaginable. It felt worse than kicking heroin. The substance they applied to my hand actually burned my skin and I still have a scar from it. Actually I think that happened right before I developed the "supernatural powers". There were also other "invisible entities" who were not my real life friends. They seemed much more powerful, like some sort of demi-gods. They often appeared in the form of animals or part animal and part human. The other "ghosts" seemed to have immense respect for these "demi-god-characters". They were obviously not human, or ghosts or whatever, but some other, higher lifeform. I had some powerful and humbling experiences with these "demi-god" characters. All the "invisible people" could travel through time and space and manipulate the physical world around me. They would occasionally knock things off the table, open and close doors, mess with the lights, music etc. but mostly they stayed confined to their own plane in which I was a visitor. Elements of my world seemed to overlap their own. My couch would be sitting on a tropic beach or the edge of a cliff rather than in my living room. They would open doors that didn't exist and walk up stairways or ladders that weren't visible to me. The doorways and windows in my house became doorways to different dimensions. I would watch as a dozen intoxicated "ghosts" came stumbling out of my closet, or climbed down up a ladder that wasn't there. One ghost unzipped the air in front of me like he was opening a tent, stepped through it and disappeared.

One of the more powerful things I experienced was a very clear and vivid hallucination that I was put into a "cockpit" type contraption. Something like a cross between a carnival ride and cockpit of space ship. Then I was zapped with some sort of electricity or something and I was immediately encased in a strange orange substance. I was then quickly "cut out" of the orange substance by some type of lazer and hung up in a strange round tank where I was lined up with other tanks full of people. I stayed in the "tank" for several days and it seemed like my "body" was undergoing some type of futuristic medical procedure.

Eventually I became so messed up from all the huffing that my friends and loved ones became very concerned and I had to stop doing NOS completely. It took about 2 years for the ghosts to "fade away" and during that time a referred to them as my "mount rushmore of invisible friends". They were all there hovering around me and guiding me like guardian angels. I still felt like I had "super powers" during this time. Beautiful women flocked to me, everyone wanted to know me and be my friend. Meanwhile my family and close friends cried about my "madness" and thought I had lost my mind. I carried continual conversations with my "invisible friends" everywhere I went. People thought I was insane, yet they were inexorably drawn to me. Women would call me crazy one minute and sleep with me the next. It was a surreal time in my life. I stopped using NOS and just spent my time drinking in bars and taking advantage of my "supernatural" ability to pick up women. And eventually it all faded into the past. I still have a really powerful presence, and women seem mystified by me, but I no longer see my invisible friends. I always have a sense that they are with me watching over me, but they are no longer a part of my life. I moved on. I got a job. I started a relationship with the woman I've always desired (hot doesn't even come close to describing her... she's one of the most popular models from the suicide girls website. she's like a dream come true) and most importantly I stopped using nitrous. Lately I've been dabbling with drugs again. We have been experimenting with heroin. But for the most part my life is normal. You would never guess that I used to be the ghost hunter.

These were the "major lessons" I took away from my years doing nitrous.

1. Death is not the end. Our souls are eternal. After death you will effectively remain the same person you were in life (this was a big one for me because I've always been an athiest, so this came as a big shock to me)
2. Santa Clause isn't the only one watching you and deciding if you've been naughty or nice. There's something I call the illusion of privacy. For a long time it was hard for me to masturbate because I couldn't get used to the idea of "everyone watching". Now I just make sure to put on a good show.
3. What you do with the time you've been given in your physical body matters. I don't pretend to know how it all works, but the things you do in this life matter very much and you will have to live with the choices you make in this lifetime. I can't really elaborate beyond that, but I suggest you don't waste your time on this planet because the things you do here matter more than you could possibly realize. In a way I think you continue to relive the choices you made in your life long after your death.

So in conclusion I want to state that 100% of this is true and exactly what I experienced. I don't expect you to believe it, but it happened. So that's my story. You may want to use caution when experimenting with nitrous. It's way more powerful than people realize. And if you use nitrous, try to keep your eyes open and look for the "invisible people". Who knows, maybe you'll see me around...

Ok I have to ask, were you ever diagnosed as being bipolar, manic, or schizophrenic? Did you only see things while on extremely large doses of nitrous-oxide? Or while not on any drugs?