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need advice on fuck buddies

Have an honest polygamous relationship and get rid of the issues.. YOU, as a human, CAN love and or have feeling for more the one person at a time as can everyone else. I think people put too much negative emphasis the word "relationship" and its a bit unfair.. Even "fuck boddies" is a form of a relationship weather you want to admit it or not..

The basis of poly is that you have open communication where in all parties know about each other and consent to the entire relationship.. there are many flavors there of... (and BTW the wife of the married man.. yeah she should know too...Other wise you are both just cheating and you are doing to someone else what has done to you)

from what you have said about your 2nd husband.. Honestly.. Sounds more like you two needed to sit down and communicate.. and maybe you two could have worked it out..

If what you want is to have a mono relationship, then do it... and do so by starting a relationship with someone who feels the same about relationships that you do and that you have open two way communication with about sex and needs... Make it clear that if they ever meet someone or have feels ect about something that they really need to share this with you so that you can work thru it together.. That also means you have to do the same thing with them and be willing to have an open ear as well as be understanding...
 
@absinthekittie. I want a monogamous relationship where I am loved as much as I love them but can't seem to find him.
 
You just have to keep your chin up then and not give into what is easy... Ditch the FWB if that's not what you are looking for as its not going to bring you satisfaction.. Don't give up and don't rush it..

I dont know how long you were with your ex husbands before you married them.. but if you do find mr right again.. give it time.. live together for a few years before you get married again.. if he is the right one he will understand.
 
@absinthekittie, I dated both my ex husbands for over four years before getting mrried. For some reason, I meet master manipulators who can pull off being a different person for years. Both of them, especially the second were perfect up until we got married. At least when I was around, behind my back on the other hand was a different story. I am trying to take my time, and realize FWB was totally not my cup of tea and I won't be giving that another try
 
I have just tried my first fwb over the last 2 months, it was great at first but we ended up developing feelings for each other then after one night due to the expectation of no emotional ties, I hurt her and it all ended in tears.
 
Someone wrote (out there in the great ether of the Internet) that with FB, "the only thing you should exchange is bodily fluids...no stories, no details from home." It is pretty sound advice but yes, when one develops feelings, that is where the game is changed. The married situation, well, we all know, that is a separate thing all together. I do believe in putting out a lot of positive energy out there versus negative energy opens up a lot of doors.
 
Someone wrote (out there in the great ether of the Internet) that with FB, "the only thing you should exchange is bodily fluids...no stories, no details from home." It is pretty sound advice but yes, when one develops feelings, that is where the game is changed.
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It seems to me that when you take the talking and hanging out away from the situation, then it's no longer FWB. If you're not friends, then it's not "friends with benefits," it's just sex with someone you don't really know.
 
carniegirl818 said:
it's just sex with someone you don't really know.
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Which can often be amazing. You don't know the person, so you don't care what they think of you...therefore, you can indulge in every freaky act without worrying, "Will they think less of me now?"
 
I've had the same fuck buddy/ friends with benefits for the last 10 years. Neither of us is married. I divorced an abusive SOB 15 years ago ( no kids). My buddy flatly said he is never getting married or serious. I believe him. He's honest. I see him a couple times a month. He is very cuddly which is great. Obviously this meets a need in him also. We go out to eat, (ok yeah he pays). I was in financial trouble once and he handed over 3k without blinking. I paid him back a year later. It works for me.

What it is missing is emotional intimacy. When my very much loved brother died I got a text from him that said ,"condolences". I guess that is what my girl friends are for.
It is what it is. I'm sure I could love him but I protect myself and just don't. It is very comfortable. I'm sure in the scheme of things it's not really that healthy as it's keeping me from finding someone who really cares. But it's still working for now. It for sure wont' work for everyone though.
Good luck. Drop the married guy.
 
I have a couple of friends that I hook up with. We talk, trade stories, have dinner, help each out. I don't think there is any rule that says fuck buddies can't talk and enjoy each others company in addition to fucking.

I'd be more concerned about the fact that one of your fuck buddies is married.
 
'fuck buddies' is a great concept in theory, but in practice & over the years, has proven itself to be particularly elusive, and not to mention short-lived.....

Still, though, brilliant fucking concept.... pity it does not translate with quite as much simplicity in the real realm of kaleidoscopic human experiences!!!

given the largely unequivocal nature of such tacit agreements, it is probably one especially worth refraining to enter into with anyone who isn't 100% free & single.
 
Lysis said:
One person always winds up having feelings. It's really a natural effect when you're having sex with someone and enjoy their company.

My suggestion at least on how I would do it is never see the fuck buddy too often. Like see one the first weekend and the other the next. This way you're not hanging out with them too often.
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I agree completely.
I maintain 2 FBs, both are occasional, but more than just trysts... We communicate often, but only meet semi-weekly at our mutual conveniences.
One of them is single/widowed, the other is married. We are all like-minded in the belief that a good understanding makes a long friendship.
 
Being married and having a fuck buddy is old school, and there are many reasons these relationships crop up...
My sentiments go out to anyone who is trying to maintain a “friends with benefits” relationship.
I am a mid-aged married man who has a couple of FWBs, and for several reasons; it can be difficult, as many folks have noted in this string, but it is manageable if your head is in the right place, and your objective remains the same from the beginning and throughout the relationship.
My friends and I have the same objective, and we have a good understanding of what we need and don’t need from each other. We communicate regularly as friends, although the benefits part is left to our mutual conveniences. One of my friends is single / widowed, and the other is married.
I will admit that my single friend can be somewhat needy, and she knows that I know this… Nonetheless, she is still as horny as I am, so as her urges trump her feelings, we still tear up the sheets whenever she needs me… it’s purely sexual.
My married friend is in the same boat as I am; her marriage is somewhat polyamorous, although she still experiences some jealous static from her husband. Her situation is very similar to my own in the fact that neither of our spouses are able to sexually perform on the level we desire (hence my screen name, lol); in a nutshell, “We like to fuck, but our spouses don’t!?” …and this we do, exuberantly!

You could say it’s like being addicted to a drug… it’s a necessary evil that balances our minds and bodies.
None of us want to alter each others lives and we don’t encroach on one another’s home lives, but instead we improve it… We are friends and fuck buddies, and we believe that when you’re seated at the dinner table, you’d better feast while there’s still food available!

Advice:
Always establish a Good Understanding… it makes for a long and fruitful friendship.
Never shit in your own nest. (Keep it away from your hometown)
Never say, “I love you.”
Never jump though hoops just for the lay.
Always be discreet and careful.
 
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