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mushrooms and hate

jose ribas da silva

jose ribas da silva

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Joined
May 10, 2019
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Yesterday I had an extremely strong mushroom trip that, sincerely, I do not know if it was worth going through it. I have a lot of experience with drugs so that I knew the trip would be intense. My intention, when I decided to take it, was to get rid of my current anxiety levels and frustration with life.

In the beginning, it was beautiful, visions, sounds, and everything else that comes along with the trip.

During the comedown from the apex of the effects, I was mentally pierced by all my painful frustrations. Basically, everything that I hate the most about myself came together to my mind as a strong wave and this changed my mindset from a very pleasant one to a very anxious one. I got EXTREMELY ANXIOUS to the point that I was physically altered, like that common nausea induced by anxiety, sweating, agitation, symptoms of a panic attack etc.

I started blaming myself for taking more drugs instead of seeking a sober life. A memory of a panic attack that I had years ago candyflipping came to my mind too, after that day my life was not the same and panic is always in the background.

I found my existence ridiculous, my life ridiculous, all those fears, all those paralyzing immobilities. I started hating myself for being inept, without attitude, for losing my intrinsic potential, for having my life as it is nowadays. I started hating myself because of my drug abuse and solitude.

I started hating myself for being weak and powerless.

My anxiety was unbearable, at that time, around 6 am, I was too tired, took a Xanax and tried to sleep.

I'm afraid of not being the same person again, I think I got worse after this trip
 
People always say mushrooms are less hardcore than acid, but I disagree entirely. Mushrooms force you to confront your inner self and fears, acid forces you to confront the nature of that which is outside you. As a self-loathing individual, I far prefer acid and the exploration of the other. Myself, it's too dark, too deep in there.

I watched my friend who is a total self-absorbed egomaniac type become the exact opposite on mushrooms and I had to keep reassuring him he wasn't a bad person and that I loved him and such.
 
try making mushroom juice and straining it and the stems to make a nice tea and drink it in shots, its less harsh on the i intestines and is smother dosing as it can some how try to be.
and mushrooms and acid can make a nice mix together starting off will lowest doses of course,
but mushroom juice is so smooth and less upsetting. ? really !
 
Cream Gravy? said:
People always say mushrooms are less hardcore than acid, but I disagree entirely. Mushrooms force you to confront your inner self and fears, acid forces you to confront the nature of that which is outside you. As a self-loathing individual, I far prefer acid and the exploration of the other. Myself, it's too dark, too deep in there.

I watched my friend who is a total self-absorbed egomaniac type become the exact opposite on mushrooms and I had to keep reassuring him he wasn't a bad person and that I loved him and such.
Click to expand...

Very true. LSD is a walk in the park compared to mushrooms. The worst thing about LSD is its longevity - a difficult trip can really grind you down, whereas a difficult mushroom trip can tear your soul apart, but at least it's over relatively quickly. I can no longer handle either, but I remember them fondly...
 
so yeah the acid really helps to balance out the shrooms for sure
but you know harm reduction can work by not taking too much. ? lolol
 
^Maybe you just need time away. Maybe this part of your life is indeed over.

I'm asking myself similar questions after amassing enough psychs to trip for a lifetime so it kinda sucks. Soon enough I'll have my answers though, only one way to find out really... and that is to dive back into that ever deep pool.
 
you could just need a long break from them. about a year ago i ate some shrooms after almost 10 years of no psychedelics. the trip was fine. i haven’t tested the waters again since, but i have been developing an itch to try lsd again. i’ve never had an lsd trip go ok. so it’s probably a stupid idea. but anyway, after a 10 year break i was able to handle shrooms fine.

i don’t know about transforming your soul into a grey matter. you use drugs, real drugs. those are horrible. i’m not judging because i do too, but drugs are obviously terrible. officer dan from my kindergarten dare program was right. i should have listened.
 
If the psychedelic mushroom works the same as the dissociative one, then I second the tea idea. I'm sure there are technical reasons why it would be easier, but a shortcut to understanding it in a woo kinda way, is that it shows more respect to the mushroom.

You're always free to throw in the psychedelic towel. But you can indeed also just build a launchpad out of another substance, like acid, or really any other compatible substance you can blanket yourself into, and then find your way back to psilocybin by performing combos, iteratively tapering off the launchpad substance.
 
I don't think changing the method of ingestion will change the introspective nature of the mushroom, simply expedite its effects.

Made a smoothie once with a bunch of fresh and dried mixed and it had me crawling on the ground completely out of it within the hour. Fun/no fun lol
 
In my case, it is a mixture of anger and frustration, I try to let them go, and in fact some things were left behind. That’s not the main problem, nonetheless. The main problem is being an open mind unable to do the necessary things because the solutions in question do not depend on its actions, they are far beyond the range of its efforts. This is the cause of the frustrations; one cannot change the world, the ignominy so that it is necessary to accept, but how to accept the shit, knowing it is a shit?
 
Cream Gravy? said:
I don't think changing the method of ingestion will change the introspective nature of the mushroom, simply expedite its effects.

Made a smoothie once with a bunch of fresh and dried mixed and it had me crawling on the ground completely out of it within the hour. Fun/no fun lol
Click to expand...
well yeah, its better on the digestive tract and too much fiber vs just some awesome mushroom tea. so good ! uhuh
 
Start meditation. I can also control the shrooms headspace and direction after doing alot of mediation daily. Never accept what everybody says that shrooms will force you into this or that. You are the king of your own mind you just have to learn how to control it. Well shrooms maybe alot harder to control the headspace than acid its not impossible but you need alot of practice in proper meditation. I can clear my mind of any thoughts as they come up on shrooms and just surrender to the experience i can direct my will to what i want to work on.

ALSO listen to ayahuasca icaros on shrooms these vocals keep you in a good way while the drums beat you into a heavy trance
 
jose ribas da silva said:
In my case, it is a mixture of anger and frustration, I try to let them go, and in fact some things were left behind. That’s not the main problem, nonetheless. The main problem is being an open mind unable to do the necessary things because the solutions in question do not depend on its actions, they are far beyond the range of its efforts. This is the cause of the frustrations; one cannot change the world, the ignominy so that it is necessary to accept, but how to accept the shit, knowing it is a shit?
Click to expand...

It's part of life that certain things are just not acceptable. So accepting life includes accepting the unacceptable.

Fun to meditate on that one. Turns out that true, total acceptance would ruin the system's dynamic nature.

So it's not about solving the paradox, but about embodying it. Allowing the mind to slowly settle on this insight can't but have anger and frustration convert into a chuckle. :)
 
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