Mother fucking methadone withdrawal fuck my life

[neversickanymore]

methadone imo the worlds strongest long lasting narcotic by far

Its the farthest thing from a joke isn't it. Crazy powerful drug.

So glad to hear your feeling better. Way to go. Next possible phase is the PAWS. Just some things to look at. Some of the stuff like exercise I would hold off on, start super chill, and begin when your out of the tunnel. If you don't experience a significant transition then I would begin three weeks or so after your last dose.

You're doing the "impossible" cire

PAWS LINKS
Why We Don’t Get Better Immediately: Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS)
Post-acute-withdrawal syndrome Wiki

Exercise and Brain Neurotransmission
Neurobiology of Exercise
Aerobic Exercise
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. The Endorphin Factory
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. I worked all that out
exercise and sleep

Chemicals and supplements to recover from opiate addiction
Diet & Neurogenesis


it is a powerful thing to keep our thoughts positive and here are some threads many of us use to help us do this.
Good things about being off drugs/getting sober
Share Something Positive from Your Day vs. It's All Around You
Today I Am Thankful For... Ver. 4 Infinite Chances in an Amazing World
Daily Personal Affirmations Log Vs IM THE SHIT & NOT a piece a.. not playing me. NOPE
Managing depressive thinking

Here is the mindfulness thread.
Anhedonia MEGA Thread

 

[w0w0mg]

The worst part of coming off methadone for me personally was I had one hell of a time with PAWS which ended up making me relapse.
It felt like literally I had NO dopamine in my brain and I was SO anxious that I had this whole "rage" feelings thru out my body.
I would punch a brick wall as hard as I could because pain actually HELPED (I think it released endorphines) . I finally went to an out patient and
my blood pressure was so high I was at hyper tension. They prescribed me Kpins and blood pressure meds and I still felt horrible.
I ended up using heroin and then detoxed off the heroin and felt better. It's sad I had to do that. I don't condone doing that because it seems like you're doing very well.
Much love to you

 

[downfallin]

So you tried ibogaine? Just curious what that was like and what the after effects were.
Its obviously not the "miracle cure our government has been hiding to keep the rehab/prison industry going", like some claim. Any relief from cravings at all? Or was it just like dropping acid while withdrawaling?

 

[opium]

Yeah I've heard methadone withdrawal is worse than dope by far....and it can last weeks.

You'll hear it all around the forum, but i just went thru a full relapse..I used just lopermide at high doses and the WD's were basically non existent.
I'm waiting on my acceptance into a suboxone program...this is my second relapse in the past couple of weeks. This time i just used dicyclomine (sp?) and clonidine.

They didn't work as well as the lopermide but they deffinetely took the edge off of a lot of my symptoms

I guess in a way i'd rather dope than pills or methadone....the WD sets in fully after like twelve hours, then you only have a few days to push thru.

good luck man

 

[endlessnameless]

Yeah I've heard methadone withdrawal is worse than dope by far....and it can last weeks.

You'll hear it all around the forum, but i just went thru a full relapse..I used just lopermide at high doses and the WD's were basically non existent.

What kind of regime did you do with the loperimide?

 

[bdomihizayka]

I'm coming off of suboxone. I know it's only a partial agonist and has a high affinity to the kaapa receptors instead of the mu, but motherfucking Jesus Christ, let me tell you- I'm proud of you dude. I have been miserable for 6 weeks! I STILL have to change my shirt every two hours because of hyper hydrosis- it's disgusting. It's Chinese water torture. Keep on pushing through man- I know you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I promise you it is there. It's much easier going through this with people who understand. Together we recover, alone we fall and use. Keep exercising and eating decent and staying hydrated- you already know the drill. I' send much love your way- I wish you the best..... tell us how you're doing please!

 

[cire113]

The worst part of coming off methadone for me personally was I had one hell of a time with PAWS which ended up making me relapse.
It felt like literally I had NO dopamine in my brain and I was SO anxious that I had this whole "rage" feelings thru out my body.
I would punch a brick wall as hard as I could because pain actually HELPED (I think it released endorphines) . I finally went to an out patient and
my blood pressure was so high I was at hyper tension. They prescribed me Kpins and blood pressure meds and I still felt horrible.
I ended up using heroin and then detoxed off the heroin and felt better. It's sad I had to do that. I don't condone doing that because it seems like you're doing very well.
Much love to you

Dude I feel you; It is no fucking Joke: i was on methadone for 3 years at around 80-100mg pill form; Switched to 500mg of OC for a month; did Ibogaine and after Ibogaine still had to go back on subs for 6 weeks cause the residual withdrawals were just too brutal. I'm on day 12 off subs; It is getting better but it just so PAINFULLY slow it is AGONIZING.....

Daily I'm only taking Gapapentin 400mg 2x a day and .1 clonidine 2x a day; they both help tremendously but man this shit is DEFINITELY a marathon...

Neversickanymore thanks for all the helpful links and support

 

[cire113]

So you tried ibogaine? Just curious what that was like and what the after effects were.
Its obviously not the "miracle cure our government has been hiding to keep the rehab/prison industry going", like some claim. Any relief from cravings at all? Or was it just like dropping acid while withdrawaling?

Well Ibogaine is quite interesting to be honest; Ive tried very very heavy psychedelics and it is so dam unique its crazy... It wasn't the most intense psychedelic experience I've ever had; that was IV dmt(which caused complete ego death and merging with the god-head)....

However Ibogaine was definitely the most longest lasting and intense psychedelic I've ever done.. IT is no fucking joke man; The actual experience is really cool and you feel pretty safe the whole time. However the body load and dysmorphic feelings are INSANE. Ibogaine is by far some crazy ass shit; I wish i could tell you more but I could literally write pages upon pages about the CRAZIEST shit ever I saw and experienced.. Oh man it is definitely not something you do for "fun"... also it is NOTHING even close or comparison to dropping acid or shrooms.

Ibogaine is like the body's fucking REBOOT into recovery mode. This plant is HIGHLY intelligent and it basically puts your body into RECOVERY MODE. The whole time during my experience it felt like SERIOUS work was being done; Almost like every cell in my body was being obliterated and reboot/rebuilt... I DO NOT recommend it unless you are really desperate... Also it is no CURE at all.. haha.. . It is nothing close to a "cure"..

TBH the days after Ibogaine are WAY harder than the experience; I didn't sleep for 2 weeks and lost like 20 pounds; I ended up leaving my center 5 days after treatment because i wasn't getting enough care; I was severely dehydrated and was pissing shit for days afterwards; To be honest, Ibogaine eliminated maybe 75% of my withdrawal and i had 0 cravings afterwards for a while; It definitely wasn't like dropping acid;

Ibogaine definitely eliminates the MAJORITY of opiate withdrawal if you take enough of it.... I did ibogaine coming off a multi year methadone habit and as clean for maybe 7 days; but felt so miserable i had to get back on low dose sub for 4-6 weeks just for my SANITY... I probably didn't need to get back on the Sub if i would've just stuck it out; But the lack of sleep was fucking killing me...

So overall I do think the Ibogaine worked and there is no WAY in hell I would've been able to quit methadone without it; But its been 2 months since my Ibogaine trip and I have 12 days off Sub and i feel actually not bad at all.... I plan on taking more Ibogaine micro doses or boosters at day 30; But there is a slim chance in hell I would do a full flood again.

Here is the problem with the ibogaine experience; it is SO fucking weird, long, and hard.... and you fucking trip for 36-96 hours... At one point i was so tired of tripping it would fucking DO anything to just be my normal self again.. SO WEIRD..... Every ibogaine trip has several phases that EVERYONE goes through; so in a sense the visions are sometimes random or have to do with you life but the actual PHASES are extremely consistent with a flood dose...

There is no doubt in my mind that some super intelligence from another dimension part of the "One which permeates all beings" is doing some sort of healing.......

It is not a miracle cure but it does definitely provide some sort of physical cleanse throughout the whole body... I was a bit disappointed because I didn't see any visions that had anything to do with me using drugs or why i used in the first place.....

But man it was TRIPPY as FUCK; I'd say if you are used to doing other entheogen and think you've got a handle on it and you do ibogaine expect to get your ass handed to you. Not in a bad way; but just in a "holy shit when is this gonna fucking end way"..... I rate the Ibogaine experience a 10/10; The amount of stuff I saw and experienced was MIND-BLOWING ; Im talking about all sorts of shit for example,

-Flying over landscapes all around the earth, oceans, forests, a feeling that I was EVERYWHERE and in ALL THINGS
-Experiencing events as other people in the past; I was like a fucking cobbler from the 16th or 17th century
- I saw TONS of faces and visions of people from all over the world and various time periods
- I explored all of outer space and saw fucking way advanced civilizations; way more advanced from ours with just INCREDIBLE technology; like WHOLE planets made out of machines like the death star
- I saw the pygmies or ancient africans cheering for me and healing me through music; There was a VERY VERY heavy african theme throughout the whole journey....
-Many of the visions i saw were fucking HILARIOUS; and at many points i had like the WTF ?!?!;
At one point I saw a vision with a bunch of random house shit, chairs, furniture, ovens, all being re-arranged by like micro robots; it was so unexplainable, and RANDOM.

Unexplainable and RANDOM but fucking cool explains most of the trip.....

Another interesting vision i saw was kind of a joke of how everyone and thing is really ONE being pretending to be 1 billion things.... Its almost like I saw how the creator created world after world after world after world just copying itself infinitely.. LoL;

I never did leave myself and experience the "godhead" as "itself" subjectively like my IV dmt experience;

So i was conscious of my egoic and individual self the whole journey; However man the sheer amount of visions and randomness was mind boggling. Its almost like your body was completely immobilized and the visions were just a weird ass way at keeping you entertained while you were being healed because you obviously couldn't sleep but didn't want to move your body...?

But i could EASILY see how people could die while taking it(from freak accidents);

You are COMPLETELY incapacitated and really need an experienced Person or SITTER to be with you 24/7 for atleast the first 12-18 hours or more.....

Good luck and let me know if you have any more questions about Ibogaine ill be happy to answer them.

 

[cire113]

Yeah I've heard methadone withdrawal is worse than dope by far....and it can last weeks.

You'll hear it all around the forum, but i just went thru a full relapse..I used just lopermide at high doses and the WD's were basically non existent.
I'm waiting on my acceptance into a suboxone program...this is my second relapse in the past couple of weeks. This time i just used dicyclomine (sp?) and clonidine.

They didn't work as well as the lopermide but they deffinetely took the edge off of a lot of my symptoms

I guess in a way i'd rather dope than pills or methadone....the WD sets in fully after like twelve hours, then you only have a few days to push thru.

good luck man

I forgot to mention I am also using loperamide with GREAT success; the shit is seriously underrated; Ive only been taking about 2-3 pills a day but it REALLY helps a lot.....

I wish you the best of luck as well and hope you find some relief on sub...

 

[cire113]

I'm coming off of suboxone. I know it's only a partial agonist and has a high affinity to the kaapa receptors instead of the mu, but motherfucking Jesus Christ, let me tell you- I'm proud of you dude. I have been miserable for 6 weeks! I STILL have to change my shirt every two hours because of hyper hydrosis- it's disgusting. It's Chinese water torture. Keep on pushing through man- I know you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I promise you it is there. It's much easier going through this with people who understand. Together we recover, alone we fall and use. Keep exercising and eating decent and staying hydrated- you already know the drill. I' send much love your way- I wish you the best..... tell us how you're doing please!

Thank you so much for the help and encouragement... I agree with you JESUS fucking christ is right; shit is fucking ridiculous.. You'd think by day 12 you would be feeling a lot better but its DEFINITELY a marathon.... My mom was joking and said well maybe this is the best you will feel... I said NO FUCKING WAY it had to get better; I'm really suffering with the CHINESE WATER TORTURE SWEAT bull shit as well; My palms, feet, body, sweat like CRAZY; I do find that clonidine and loperamide do help with the sweats but its super ANNOYING.

The other thing that is really fucking weird is I quit 12 days ago and all I've taken daily is lope, clonidine, and gabapentin and I've gained LIKE 20 pounds!!! what the fuck man!?!? I am trying to force myself to exercise I'm doing about 5,000 steps per day.. but jesus; I thought you were supposed to loose weight after quitting? LoL

I'll keep you guys posted every week or few days; It definitely feels like I'm white knuckling it some days but all I GOTTA Do is get THROUGH TODAY.

 

[cire113]

fuck my life i just realized gabapentin and clonidine can cause withdrawals also... WILL IT EVER END????.....

Guess ill try to stop the clonidine first?? Then eventually the gabapentin.. FUCK...

Ive been taking both for around a month or so since i started tapering..... LoL

Should I stop the gabapentin or clonodine first? Im guessing most of my physical is almost over so the clonidine? The gabapentin does help a lot ...

 

[neversickanymore]

There is an end cire113. Sending some love!!


Do you still have the goose bumps and icy frozen burning skin? Is it almost impossible for you to sit still?

 

[cire113]

There is an end cire113. Sending some love!!


Do you still have the goose bumps and icy frozen burning skin? Is it almost impossible for you to sit still?

i don't have much physical stuff left except extreme sweating and some anxiety...

boredom and depression & lack of energy is destroying me.... i lay in bed 12-18 hrs a day

 

[neversickanymore]

I would taper the clonidine first then and then move right onto the gaba.

Fatigue is the last symtom to go for most people. exercise is the best weapon against it. Wait..... you will not have the opportunity to kill the person who decided to make exercise the cure for fatigue... cause im already going to murder them


For this to work the best you need to start out with prolonged low intensity workouts. Long easy walks to cool places.

Have you taken a second to pat yourself on the back.. miracle worker.. some sort of Wizard

 

[cire113]

^^^^^

Thanks for the hope and encouragement; This shit is dam near impossible; Ive been walking 20 mins twice a day; it try to do atleast 5,000-7,000 steps a day... luckily i was only on the suboxone for 6 weeks; but i don't doubt there are some methadone residual shit going on ;; even though I've been off methadone for 90 days;

Honestly the way i figured quit sub now or take it forever or face harder withdrawal later;

It is definitely getting better its not getting worse; but dam it just drags on soooooo long its SCARY; About to go to sleep and wake up and will have 14 days;

im gonna start tapering the clonidine and then deal with the gabapentin; But its not the end of the world taking some comfort meds.....


EXERCISE is king and helps alot ; but its SO hard to motivate yourself to move... Sex helps as well atleast 3x a day... LoL....

U know this shit is a freaking marathon.... Im starting to get scared if i will ever feel real better...... Ill cut myself a break it is only day 14...

Ive been having some HEAVY life introspection lately; and its sad for me to realize unless i change my whole lifestyle I'm fucked. Maybe atleast having awareness is good? I need to make some MAJOR changes in my life. Its almost like I'm exhibiting the same behaviors as when i was on methadone and valium; Yet now I'm sober but still doing "nothing" all day . Literally NOTHING.

Hopefully it will get a lot better and ill have motivation to move. Peace people and my hats off to ANYONE who has had to quit methadone or sub or benzos after long term daily use.

some days it feels like I'm barely holding on and just white knuckling. :/ atleast i know using is pointless.

 

[opium]

to the guy who quoted me, sorry im not on the computer much anymore...... and i just poped 30-40 mg of lopermide following onset of WD's and it made me feel like 60% better which anyone going thru wd's knows is more than great. id follow up with another dose every 8 hrs and slept, ate, worked. it was a fucking godsend.

i am now on suboxone, so i'm good to go as of tuesday. but that really saved my ass in between and in tight spots.

 

[opium]

So glad to hear you're doing better. Like i said, i've heard methadone wd's are a fucking beast. Not sure intensity wise, but just the length scares me.

Sex and exercise during WD's? boyyyy two things to push for lol. I'm glad i finished WD's and got on suboxone when i did, i found out my girl was cheating on me the day i got onto the program....so i wouldve lost the sex. Gotta stay straight now seeing as theres no more sex to help with WD's

 

[cire113]

dude its absolutely brutal i am on day 20 and its scary how crazy bad i still feel;

I'm getting some iboga root bark to microdose in a few weeks its so bad; that should help a lot and destroy the rest of shit feelings i have.....

Im really struggling with sloth, malaise, and no interest in anything; I'm about to force myself to go walk for 20 minutes and try to light lift weights;

i feel completely lost in all aspects of life... its really sad; ill hang in there; Just gotta make it through today.

Total kudos to those who have gone through this bull shit; all day everyday my brain is screaming opiates; LoL

its definitely a MARATHON.

 

[herbavore]

Ive been having some HEAVY life introspection lately; and its sad for me to realize unless i change my whole lifestyle I'm fucked. Maybe atleast having awareness is good? I need to make some MAJOR changes in my life. Its almost like I'm exhibiting the same behaviors as when i was on methadone and valium; Yet now I'm sober but still doing "nothing" all day . Literally NOTHING.

It is so scary when you have these moments of realization that you have to leave what is familiar. But keep going back to that place, fear-inducing as it may be--because that right there is the wisdom that is going to propel you out of this endless looping trap forever. You can't just change behaviors and habits (drugs or whatever it is that someone may use as a drug)--you have to literally change your mind. If you think about how many years you have been consciously and unconsciously constructing that mind it can seem daunting but the good news is that walls fall faster than they get built!

 

[Erikmen]

^ Excellent! Nicely put.

dude its absolutely brutal i am on day 20 and its scary how crazy bad i still feel;

I'm getting some iboga root bark to microdose in a few weeks its so bad; that should help a lot and destroy the rest of shit feelings i have.....

Im really struggling with sloth, malaise, and no interest in anything; I'm about to force myself to go walk for 20 minutes and try to light lift weights;

i feel completely lost in all aspects of life... its really sad; ill hang in there; Just gotta make it through today.

Total kudos to those who have gone through this bull shit; all day everyday my brain is screaming opiates; LoL

its definitely a MARATHON.

I can relate to you. It's part of the package and you are doing great. You are now getting that awareness of everything that surrounds you. Things that you weren't paying attention to before.

Again, this is only a phase. You'll get better and when you do you can start thinking about really living your life.
Doing things you've always wanted to do and getting used to the freedom which is immense and indescribably positive.
I know what you are going through and you are soon going to feel better.

As you progress physically your emotions will be on the surface. You can work with that. Talk to your doctor, seek for therapy.
I'm still following up with my issues and after each session I feel so much better.

Just remember that this is a nightmare and you'll soon wake up.

Keep going and fighting! This is something that will make you feel proud and strong.
Just remember the basics, one day at a time!!

I wish you get well soon. We'll be here for you.
And yes, it's definitely a Marathon and you are winning.
Good luck and take care!
Erik