yes. i rarely post but comb through here often and have specifically been looking to see if im not the only one. you’re the first comment ive seen. in the last 3 to 5 months the purity leveled up big time (it’s the stuff from south of the border, same recipe same smell same look as always). the potency stayed the same which i suspect is damn near 100%. by purity i mean, this stuff is closer to NZT48 or a cognitive enhancer than a neurotoxic recreational drug. which i like. this next part is a double edged sword but ever since this stuff leveled up i’ve had no problem monitoring my behavior and appearance to compensate for ya know…… meth. still makes my eyes dilated so i take 2 days off before any social contact with people who know me well enough to notice something is up (the deceit is the worst thing about hiding a drug habit) but the peripheral effects are completely gone. i used to get gnarly edema in my feet by about day 3. just stopped. was getting heart palpitations. this abruptly stopped. mentioned it to my connect and he said “i was told if’s some very good stuff going around right now.” i’m in a major city in a metropolitan area. i said double edged sword because for the first time ever, im able to manage my life and the quality of my work is on par with what it was pre-meth (the stuff always made me work harder but not smarter and my results always reflected that - guess it’s important to add that meth has always been strictly something i do as a last resort when legit pharma adderall are unavailable. i pay ____ a ridiculous sum for confirmed pharma because my life is very manageable and has improved drastically since j started taking it years ago but i have a documented history of addiction including rehab so even if i do have ADD (no clue) they ain’t never giving me that shit i figure this is the most dangerous point right here, this exact moment in time. for me. it’s the first time i actually thought “i could probably manage my life on this stuff now since the upgrade.” even if that’s true, it’s the little things that end up getting you and blowing up your whole world. your parent or sibling ends up in the hospital for something critical and you have to go, right then, period. you’ve been up 2 days, maybe 3, your eyes look like saucers and the bones under your eyes in your upper cheeks are sunken in. the 3 magical reparing eye creams you use daily and the one colored touch-up for emergencies just can’t hide it. and that’s it. it’s over right there. your relationships with your family, or your career / manager (if a work situation is what causes the thing that forces you out into the wild in full zombie mode)….. playing with fire. i’m switching to wellbutrin and quitting this while i still can. i don’t use the words “trying to” because my future completely depends on me pulling it off. i’ve known multiple people who were addicted to meth for years and the way wellbutrin helped them baffles me….. i took it for years just for a boost and it was a great help (i look back on it as 2 straight years of borderline hypomania, every waking hour of every day, which, if i could describe my utopian paradise, that’s how i’d describe it. but, the accounts of people using it as a sort of bupenorphin or methadone for meth (may have butchered that, my opiate lexicon is not like my stimulant one) is overwhelmingly glowing. it’s still gonna suck. but this drug is gonna keep getting better, eventually the dilated eyes won’t be there and you’ll be able to maintain your appearance with little effort. that’s when you let your guard down. and why not? your life has become manageable and successful on meth. what you (and I) will always fail to realize is that our thoughts and decisions are not the same as they were. our judgements are not the same. and the most fascinating thing about this drug to me is how it is SO so persuasive in convincing you that you are not delusional. you do constant self-checks - am i acting like my normal self? is this thing i did for work as good as i believe it is, every time i am fully convinced that i am not delusional, because i analyze the shit out of it to prevent it from happening (the delusion). fail. hindsight is 20/20 and i’m constantly looking back on events from about 6 months prior, realizing that i was completely wrong in my objective assessment, i don’t know if it meets the definition of delusion but what i do know is that i can no longer trust my own decisions.
total sidenote; i started doing this stuff in ‘99. up for 2 days off one line every time. got bellringers from smoking it on par with crack. i do lines twice that size a few times a day now and still fall asleep most nights. and the product is more pure than ever before. yes. more potent? well being awake for 2 days off one line seems more potent to me but i also hallucinated and saw spiders crawling up my walls and felt like killing myself the day after. today’s experiences are the polar opposite of that. i was a long time crack user and regularly went into psychosis from it, as i did from the meth in the 90’s. i haven’t one single time on the new stuff. and that ain’t because its bunk…. its because it’s basically a nootropic cognitive enhancer (and neurotoxin that will most likely cause overwhelmingly negative long term consequences in your life). if you’ve ever taken adderall and switched to dexedrine, you probably noticed that the dexedrine was more clear headed but tolerance grew faster and you could take much more and remain fully functional. that’s part of the equation here. the recipe has been masterfully honed to be not just d-meth but some new strain of it (i liken it to terpenes in weed because all weed tests as THC but can feel completely different - we know it’s partly because of the terpenes but they’re not well understood at least on a neuropharmacological level (yep that’s a real word, as is neuropsychopharmacologist…. as i learned from a guy with that title who was a little too proud of it). whatever the equivalent of terpenes are in meth (or this X factor that gives it a completely different character) is what’s going on. that thing we havent ID’ed or devised a system for quantification and testing / measurement. you always hear about people on the other side of the country waking up in the middle of the night when a relative dies thousands of miles away. that is a very real phenomenon as experienced by thousands of sane people. for whatever reason we haven’t even given it a name yet let alone figure out what the fuck it is, how to measure it; and how to harness it. my cats are smarter than me, but only in one way. i can’t even explain it. its almost an emotional intelligence but i feel like its closer to what we call “senses” and they have one we don’t. we know nothing about it. why am i talking about terpenes, dead relatives and my cats being smarter than me? they defy the empirical information we’re taught as being the way of the world. weed is THC. but does jack herer feel like wedding cake? helllll no. meth is methamphetamine. but does this cartel stuff feel like whatever else is out there or what i did 25yrs ago? hellll no. but they are in fact all meth (allowing for disparities in isometric ratio). fascinating. how 2 batches of drugs can test as the exact same chemical but feel completely different based on precursors, process and the rest (us E-tards aren’t lying when we talk about the stuff being different than it was in the 90’s. its night and day. i got on drugsdata the other day and they actually had pictures and reports of many of the presses i took in the late 90’s / early 00’s. i’d come to the conclusion they must have had other stuff in them because they all felt so different from eachother; and may as well be a different drug than today’s powder molly. but lo and behold - *every single one* tested for pure MDMA and not anything else. blew my mind. the green triangles were like a completely different drug than the red pentagons and i swore the yellow yin yangs were either MDA or had a psychedelics in them, totally different experience. (i wrote that sentence in case anybody reading this was popping E in those days because it takes one to know one and i’m sure it will be a trip to read if you took those same ones). turns out they were all pure mdma. if i were a recreational user and meth was something i turned to for euphoria, i’d def be one of the hoard on quora complaining about the shit meth these days. it has zero recreational value for me. the fact that they flooded america with meth pills pressed into flawless teva adderall at the exact time there was a shortage, and have made the effect progressively more “clear” and functional…. well, i do believe in aliens so maybe im prone to conspiracy theories but it would seem to me like they saw an opportunity to expand their demographic and what a desirable demographic that is - you hook em now you got em for life. these are multibillion dollar operations for a reason. the people who devise the strategy and make the decisions would be forbes list CEO’s in a different life. not to glorify a cartel boss but these guys (and gals, Griselda Blanco) are geniuses that were born to do this and they channeled it in a way that causes nothing but harm, hurt and misery on a macro level. but make no mistake these heads at the top would rival bill gates in the game of building an empire, if they’d been born in a different place and time and in different circumstances. if i’d been born in less fortunate circumstances i would absolutely be in prison for the rest of my life right now. my wiring sends me primarily in that direction and is only offset by by the “nurture” part of the nature vs nurture thing that makes up us humans. i.e my parents were fucking amazing even though they were driving me to rehab or bailing me out of jail throughout my teen years. i’m never having kids but i do what i can to pass that gift on. with all their emotional intelligence cats seem a perfectly qualified recipient for it.
one may think this novel was a result of the product but i have an interesting condition called hypergraphia where i just want to keep typing forever when i start. applies to journals, message boards, and unfortunately texts bc most people get anxiety when there a 3 paragraph response to their question about a serial code. why are ppl always hitting me up for serial codes anyway?
may the force be with you, whatever path you’re on.
