• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: axe battler | xtcgrrrl | arrall

Men's feelings about sex workers

Status
Not open for further replies.
That's depends a lot on what type of sex worker we are referring to here, rich ones or poor ones? Hanging out with rich ones it is the best, they super beautiful and they have amazing abilities. I love sex workers but one should be careful about the violence in south america, unfortunately, the poor ones
 
I would be lying if I wouldn't be apprehensive of a potential partner who spent a lot of time in the sex industry, but probably for reasons that aren't obvious.

How can I judge a woman for selling her body when in a heartbeat I would have repeatedly done it myself if the opportunity ever presented itself...
 
SnafuInTheVoid said:
I would be lying if I wouldn't be apprehensive of a potential partner who spent a lot of time in the sex industry, but probably for reasons that aren't obvious.

How can I judge a woman for selling her body when in a heartbeat I would have repeatedly done it myself if the opportunity ever presented itself...
Click to expand...
This is something I've heard often from men. So if you would be willing to do it, why would you judge someone or have doubts about them if they were put in a situation where it was kind of their only option? I also don't know if yall read that I had an abusive ex who I was deeply in love with who pushed me into it. Does that still not make up for the actual choice to do it? I know that everyone can control what they do, but I don't know if anyone can understand the desperation plus the fact that someone you are in love with who harms you into doing these things. Its a real mind fucker. It was hard for me to not do anything he wanted. Once again not only out of desperation but out of love as well. I was deeply, deeply in love with this person. For many, many years. I just recently got over him only to fall into a relationship where the normal guy I was dating is now leaving me because he can't handle who I was. There are more factors at play, but thats been a source of contention with us from the start when I was an idiot and thought he would be able to handle it. Boy was I wrong...
 
albertosal said:
This is something I've heard often from men. So if you would be willing to do it, why would you judge someone or have doubts about them if they were put in a situation where it was kind of their only option? I also don't know if yall read that I had an abusive ex who I was deeply in love with who pushed me into it. Does that still not make up for the actual choice to do it? I know that everyone can control what they do, but I don't know if anyone can understand the desperation plus the fact that someone you are in love with who harms you into doing these things. Its a real mind fucker. It was hard for me to not do anything he wanted. Once again not only out of desperation but out of love as well. I was deeply, deeply in love with this person. For many, many years. I just recently got over him only to fall into a relationship where the normal guy I was dating is now leaving me because he can't handle who I was. There are more factors at play, but thats been a source of contention with us from the start when I was an idiot and thought he would be able to handle it. Boy was I wrong...
Click to expand...
I'm sorry you are going through that, and glad you got out of the situation. Death to that bastard. I know you want to be transparent with partners, but maybe save it for a year+ down the road. Didnt read everything so maybe you did that already.
 
albertosal said:
I know that everyone can control what they do,
Click to expand...

That's really what I would be apprehensive about. I'd expect them to stop sex work if we were in a relationship.

It's like driving. When you hit a red light and stop, you get no anxiety if you are driving, you know exactly how and when to stop and trust yourself to do so. When I'm the passenger and someone else is driving, I often get a lot of anxiety when they stop because it feels like they don't see it or aren't stopping fast enough... yet they always stop fine. In their mind, they can stop literally whenever they want. In MY mind, I'm wondering if they even know how to stop or if they will. If I'm sitting passenger, I often find myself pressing my foot where the break should be when they are stopping at red lights. It's a weird anxiety I have.

That's a decent analogy as to how I feel about it, as a guy potentially dating an ex-sex worker. I would trust myself to stop, but it's harder to trust someone else. In the end, I wouldn't judge them, just like I would expect them not to judge me for things I've done in the past to get high.
 
Last edited:
SnafuInTheVoid said:
That's really what I would be apprehensive about. I'd expect them to stop sex work if we were in a relationship.

It's like driving. When you hit a red light and stop, you get no anxiety if you are driving, you know exactly how and when to stop and trust yourself to do so. When I'm the passenger and someone else is driving, I often get a lot of anxiety when they stop because it feels like they don't see it or aren't stopping fast enough... yet they always stop fine. In their mind, they can stop literally whenever they want. In MY mind, I'm wondering if they even know how to stop or if they will. If I'm sitting passenger, I often find myself pressing my foot where the break should be when they are stopping at red lights. It's a weird anxiety I have.

That's a decent analogy as to how I feel about it. I would trust myself to stop, but it's harder to trust someone else.
Click to expand...
In my case, I haven't done anything close to it in 10 years. At that point wouldn't you trust that the person has stopped that lifestyle and that they have moved on from it?
 
albertosal said:
In my case, I haven't done anything close to it in 10 years. At that point wouldn't you trust that the person has stopped that lifestyle and that they have moved on from it?
Click to expand...
Oh for sure. No red flags.

Most of the worst shit I did was also 10 years ago. Good conversation starter.
 
Zephyn said:
I'm sorry you are going through that, and glad you got out of the situation. Death to that bastard. I know you want to be transparent with partners, but maybe save it for a year+ down the road. Didnt read everything so maybe you did that already.
Click to expand...
I told him pretty quickly, and he was upset i didn't tell him immediately. He's just really not ok with any of it. He's not ok with me at all it seems like, since he's leaving... he still hasn't put the deposit down on the new place (at least hasn't told me since he didn't do it yesterday). But when I was trying to leave yesterday he was begging for me to stay, told me he would tell the new landlord he was waiting... I don't know. I don't want him to leave. I love him so much. But I know he will never forgive my past. Ever. And I can't (at the moment) imagine living without him. And it's all because of what I've done in the depths of my addiction. Doesn't 10 years seem like a long enough time away from it to show that you've changed?
 
I've had alot of time clean with some fuxk ups here and there. But why do you think what I've done is so unforgivable that I don't deserve a 2nd chance after being out of that life for so long? "Once a whore, always a whore"? Is it just the end for any female that's been through that hellscape of a life?
 
albertosal said:
In my case, I haven't done anything close to it in 10 years. At that point wouldn't you trust that the person has stopped that lifestyle and that they have moved on from it?
Click to expand...
I guess the question for me would whether that ex-sex worker now had healthy ideas and good feelings about sex. I would not like to be in a relationship with someone who didn’t see sex as a positive expression of love towards their partner. But as for whether sex workers or ex-sex workers are lovable I would say they most certainly are. When I used to frequent sex workers, which I now no longer do partly as a result of this thread, I would often have very positive feelings towards them. Not all, just some.
 
SnafuInTheVoid said:
Oh for sure. No red flags.

Most of the worst shit I did was also 10 years ago. Good conversation starter.
Click to expand...

SnafuInTheVoid said:
not at all

lol nobody here is going to judge other people for their drug use or how they got them
Click to expand...

I think @SnafuInTheVoid is making the point that many drug users have done reprehensible things on their way to rock bottom and it would be hypocritical for them to judge a sex-worker. That doesn’t mean they have some kind of obligation to be willing to date one, just an obligation not to morally judge them. Did I interpret that correctly?


I mean I would likely never marry a former injecting drug user despite having been one myself. But I don’t judge them for their use.
 
Atelier3 said:
I guess the question for me would whether that ex-sex worker now had healthy ideas and good feelings about sex. I would not like to be in a relationship with someone who didn’t see sex as a positive expression of love towards their partner. But as for whether sex workers or ex-sex workers are lovable I would say they most certainly are. When I used to frequent sex workers, which I now no longer do partly as a result of this thread, I would often have very positive feelings towards them. Not all, just some.
Click to expand...
So since I can still express love physically and its never a business transaction to me anymore, wouldn't that be obvious and wouldn't someone be willing to forgive the horrible shit that I've done? Its not a badge of pride. I don't think it's a lesson anyone should learn, it was just something that happened at a really dark time in my life. I'm 35, I don't want to carry around the stigma of things I had to do when I was scared, hopeless, and stung out in my 20s.
 
albertosal said:
So since I can still express love physically and its never a business transaction to me anymore, wouldn't that be obvious and wouldn't someone be willing to forgive the horrible shit that I've done? Its not a badge of pride. I don't think it's a lesson anyone should learn, it was just something that happened at a really dark time in my life. I'm 35, I don't want to carry around the stigma of things I had to do when I was scared, hopeless, and stung out in my 20s.
Click to expand...

Sure absolutely. If you now think that love and sex go together then I can’t think why a guy who loved you would not be comfortable with you in that way.

But I think that might be a case by case basis with former sex workers. I can’t really say for sure because I am not one. And I don’t think it is a question of a guy needing to “forgive you”. You did nothing wrong by them. It’s more about them just accepting you as the person you are now.
 
And for the record I hate myself. I hate that this man would have married me if I hadn't done what I've done. If I hadn't been through what I have. I didn't learn anything from being a piece of shit, it didn't make me a stronger person, it just made it to where the men I fall in love with from this point on will end up leaving me because I was a whore.
 
albertosal said:
And for the record I hate myself. I hate that this man would have married me if I hadn't done what I've done. If I hadn't been through what I have. I didn't learn anything from being a piece of shit, it didn't make me a stronger person, it just made it to where the men I fall in love with from this point on will end up leaving me because I was a whore.
Click to expand...

I’m really sorry to hear that you feel that way. But it does sound like you have learned a lot and just being willing to come on here and talk it out is a sign of strength as far as I’m concerned. These guys who have been rejecting you are the wrong guys. They have the issue, not you. I don’t know where you are finding them, or where you you’d go to look for less judgemental people but I do know of former sex workers who have ended up in good relationships.
 
albertosal said:
And for the record I hate myself. I hate that this man would have married me if I hadn't done what I've done. If I hadn't been through what I have. I didn't learn anything from being a piece of shit, it didn't make me a stronger person, it just made it to where the men I fall in love with from this point on will end up leaving me because I was a whore.
Click to expand...

There are good men out there. The hard part is tracking them down out of all the scumbags.

Frankly, if a guy would leave someone they'd otherwise have married cause she was once a sex worker. That doesn't strike me as a man who'll be a very good husband in the long run anyway.
 
Yo
FFS stop running yourself down You did what was necessary to Live.
You are strong and as stated above you did Nothing wrong to him.
Better to know now as if he can't handle it now he never will
As I get told regularly move on learn from the past stop living in the past, look ahead be positive and focus on Living Loving Life.

💕✌️👍😜
 
albertosal said:
But as I originally stated, what if it was an EX sex worker? I've been out of it for 10 years now, and I'm trying to settle down, I just don't know if any man would be OK with my past as such. I am monogamous and loyal, if I'm with you I don't want anyone else, I've just been put into extraordinary situations during my deepest points of drug addiction that brought me to that place.

I just hope I'm not seen as damaged or unworthy of a caring and normal relationship..
Click to expand...
If it's been 10 years since you've done that, then don't bring it up, if you're past all that, then let it go and don't look back,if you get a good man just be good to him and him to you, and he needn't know.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top