i have a question about weed...
the first time i smoked, and on several occasions afterwards (although not every time), but particularly the first time i smoked, i experienced ridiculous derealization/bizarre visuals/bizarre sensations. i dont think derealization is a word, but as far as i can tell it is the best way to describe what happened, as it was not an experience of depersonalization.
the description (as best it can be described...):
the first time i smoked, i smoked a decent amount of what was described as "some of the dankest shit around" with a guy i knew (not really friends, but we knew each other fairly well). i basically sat down and we passed the bowl back and forth (it was a fairly large bowl, maybe .5-1 gram) after each hit. it tasted like weed (or everything else i have gotten that has been called weed since) and was not particularly unusually flavored. i dont remember if we finished the bowl. we were passing it pretty quickly, and i was taking pretty big hits (or so i was told). i didnt feel anything for at least five minutes, possibly longer. just before the effects started, i sat down (thank god). what happened after a few minutes of being seated was one of the scariest, strangest, bizarre, wonderful, and absurd experiences of my life. the first thing i noticed was a static/ringing noise in my ears, which grew in volume from unnoticeable to deafening. simultaneously, my vision began to blur and thicken, and the best way to describe what i began to see was very similar to what happens when you get a headrush (basically when you stand up too quickly and all the blood rushes to your head, causing little red and black dots to slowly creep from the edges of your vision all the way towards the middle until you cant see anything, you feel the blood pound through your head, then the dots fade again fairly quickly). not sure if headrush is actually a term, thats just what ive always called it. anyway, the headrush style visuals continuously increased in intensity until i began to see patterns which were still red/black/kind of dark blue (not exactly sure, they dont really have a definitive color thats just as close as i can get to describing them), but instead of just the static/snow, there were waves, zigzags, spirals, stripes, and similar patterns in a number of different combinations. these visuals and sounds peaked and plateaued at that point (incase it wasnt clear, i had no actual vision or hearing, the only thing i could see/hear were those visuals/sounds). after a bit, i adjusted enough to those sensory changes enough to 'notice' on my thoughts, which seemed to have been going on the entire time without me realizing it. because i now noticed my thoughts, i also now reckognized that my sense of feeling was also altered (thats also the best way to describe it, not exactly the same thing). i felt a feeling similar to electricity which seemed to begin on the insides of my feet in the center of the arch, travel up the insides of my legs, then the insides of my thighs, then merge where my legs meet, then travel in one line upwards to my chest, then split, going from the center of my chest to the tips of my fingers (again along the insides of my arms/fingers), and at the same time travel from my chest up through my throat to my mouth, where it completely encompassed the inside of my mouth. this feeling was very strong and scary, but also good at the same time (i have never had problems with anxiety on weed really, i have however experienced paranoia due to audial hallucinations aka hearing someones footsteps and thinking im going to get caught). the feeling pulsed every few seconds along this path, and at the same time i visualized myself with a completely black background and myself as only the lines of 'electricity', which appeared as white hot metal without the texture. then, once i stopped visualizing myself in that way (which was the only thing i was noticing at the time), i began to see and hear the visual/audial sensations i described before, but at the same time as the feeling of 'electricity'. then the visual/audial sensations began to fade at the same rate at which they had come, until ultimately i could see/hear again normally. however, at the same time the visual/audial sensations were still there, as well as the feeling of 'electricity', they simply seemed to be overlying my normal senses. at that point i began to function again, regaining the ability to talk and move (kind of). i was able to talk again, and apparently i had been sitting there and staring straight ahead without moving for ten minutes. the sensations previously listed felt as if they lasted an hour and a minute at the same time. at the point when i regained function, i resumed the conversation we had been having earlier without thinking about it, and managed to coherently continue it in an intelligent manner as if i had never stopped talking. i even managed to recite a large number of facts from a study i had skimmed over more than a week ago regarding the ability of THC to impact the potency of morphine currently bonded to mu receptors in the CNS which essentially caused a dose of morphine 4 hours after administration to regain its potency at the peak of its action due to the THC. i recited this with specific facts/statistics, and parts of it were even word for word. normally i have a very good memory, so this is not unusual, but i know that weed significantly decreases my memory and alters my thinking processes, and the fact that i could do that seemed very strange. the guy i was talking too was astounded that i managed to do that, and he is of a similar level of intelligence and knowledge, and he said it was particularly amazing that i did that my first time getting stoned, and apparently i was 'high as fuck'. after this conversation, i stood up and stumbled slightly, regained my balance, and remained standing. the guy i was with said i should try jumping just to feel it, so i did a very small jump. when i did, i felt an overwhelming rush of air, the sensation i had jumped much higher than i did, and an extreme feeling of weightlesness (exactly like when you sharply dive in a plane then pull up again) and then an extreme feeling of gravity (similar to a very large/fast rollercoaster drop). when i think about it, it seems like the sensations normally experienced when jumping were simply magnified to the most extreme version of those sensations i can think of. this is the majority of the strange part of the effects from that experience.
the sensory changes i described above have also happened to me in very different ways, intensities, and speeds of beginning/ending at different times when i smoked if i smoked enough, although the amount required seems to differ. i have found that getting that high while standing generally causes me to completely crumple onto the ground when i experience the full effects, and i remain there, completely 'derealized' until they subside again. one other thing is that at other times i seem to have the same very strong thinking/memory ability for a short time after the sensory effects subside, but it always lasts for a different amount of time (generally ranging from a few minutes to an hour or so).
a few other things i should mention; except for the first time i pretty much exclusively smoke alone, mostly because im typically not very social and everyone i know is very close minded/goody two shoes/very conservative etc., although i have been around plenty of people while stoned, including intelligent people and people who know me very well, and none of them have ever noticed i was stoned when we talked.
i have smoked several times over the course of a few months, sometimes every day, sometimes all day, sometimes only at night, etc...
my question is has anyone else experienced this? everyone i know has said that they never got visuals, never blacked out like that, and never felt the 'electricity', the same sensations when jumping, and they all say they can never carry a conversation that well or remember such explicit facts etc... so are these normal or different from your guys' experiences?
and finally, i have found that weed is by far the most psychologically addictive drug for me. i got hooked without realizing it for a while, and it happened very quickly, mostly because i viewed it as fairly non-addictive in relation to the other drugs i have done (which include hydrocodone, oxycodone, codeine, PST, adderall (mix of d and l amphetamine), vyvanse (basically just d amphetamine), dxm, alcohol, tobacco, ambien (zolpidem tartrate), ritalin (methylphenidate), and a few others i cant think of at the moment). none of these were addictive for me, although i enjoyed most of them thoroughly on several occasions and in various combinations.
sorry this post is so long... didnt realize i typed that much lol. oh well, its thorough. thanks if you actually read this far...
damn lol first time i tried to post it booted me out and said something about server maintenance...
holy fuck that was long sorry :/ the adderall i take for adhd exacerbates my OCD which makes me VERY thorough... i should have gone to bed 4 hours ago. oh well.