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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

All I can say is that my current diet consists of:
Rhodiola extract, DHEA, Pregnenolone, Magnesium, Vitamin Bs, Ginseng extract, dark chocolate
I take a break every few weeks though and might stop taking them all together soon.

The one single thing that seems to work best for me are hard, long daily workouts preferably outdoors. It is incredibly slow, but it works and my vision is finally getting better. It's really something to see the world in 4k again.

All the best folks!
 
Hello everyone I just wanted to make a post about my current situation and of someone has experience anything like this. It's getting out of hand. So I took about .5mg one Night. The next day everything went down hill. I began to get stiff neck, stiff back feels like my nerves. Theyre tense all the time. Blurred vision and horrible anxiety as well a brain fog. I've been to doctors have had ct scans, blood work and medication prescribed for the tension and headaches. Nothing seems to work its been about a month and becoming a bit worried. Has anyone experienced this. If so I would like to hear back from you guys. Thanks
 
Hello everyone I just wanted to make a post about my current situation and of someone has experience anything like this. It's getting out of hand. So I took about .5mg one Night. The next day everything went down hill. I began to get stiff neck, stiff back feels like my nerves. Theyre tense all the time. Blurred vision and horrible anxiety as well a brain fog. I've been to doctors have had ct scans, blood work and medication prescribed for the tension and headaches. Nothing seems to work its been about a month and becoming a bit worried. Has anyone experienced this. If so I would like to hear back from you guys. Thanks
 
Hi Nelson,
This sounds very much like the beginning of an usual LTC like most of the folks in this thread are suffering from. Best thing to do is take a deep breath and try to relax, go for a walk in the woods or ride your bike with some music. It will pass although it can take quite some time.
As this thread can be anxiety inducing, I'll give you a short summary on what to do:

- believe that this will pass and all is well
- sleep well, if not possible at all some sleeping agent might help but only short term!
- remove all stress factos from your life
- exercise regularly
- eat as healthy as possible
- try some 5-htp for a few days, see if it helps
- there are conflicting reports on SSRIs your doctors might subscribe, but you can try some see if it helps
- try some of the supplements mentioned all around this thread (Rhodiola extract, DHEA, Pregnenolone, Magnesium, Vitamin Bs, Ginseng extract, dark chocolate, Vitamin D, fish oil,....)
- avoid at all cost any drugs also coffee, alcohol and nicotine (although I myself am guilty of smoking as it helps me short term, but I really should stop :ROFLMAO:)

This experience can be earth shattering and one might think that all is over and this will never get better. But the good news is that it will get better as it has for hundreds of people already. You might experience that you feel better on some days then worse again in an endless cycle - this is also normal.

You'll get this! And when times are especially hard there are folks around here with an open ear.
 
If you think vitamins/minerals are trivial, you are absolutely insane. They are literally vital to human functions in the body. Without your nutrients, you are depriving your body of the necessary resources to function properly. You could run into serious problems that you would never think of.

Most people thinks their current diet has everything they need but current farming practices rape the land of its nutrients. Nowadays you have to be super aware of what you ingest otherwise you’re most likely deficient in something. Eating pizza and McDonald’s thinking you’re eating healthy because you got a chicken sandwich instead of a quarter pounder is beyond silly. Put down the soda and drink some fresh spring water 😊

I agree they might not be the cure, but I only see upside to making sure you are getting all your macro and micro nutrients. I think everyone can agree with this.

I’m willing to bet you can greatly improve your diet. You just don’t want to. If you look at the people posting that they recovered, they tend to recommend eating a healthier diet on top of other things.

I don’t know exactly what you guys are going through but i saw one of my closest friends lose their mind over a period of a year. And the method that I took from G_chem worked. it may not work for everyone but if this post can help just one person avoid this tragedy. It’ll be time well spent.
What was the method?
 
Hello friends, I come back and check in every so often.

Its been more than 6 years for me now, everything gets better, Im a better, happier person than I was before al ofl this mess started.
Life definitelly takes a turn, its like pruning down a tree all the way to its trunk, it hurts, the branches and leaves you used to enjoy are no longer there, the light feels unreachable, you have to grow new ones and they will not end up looking the same way they did before, I belive for the better.
I imagine everyone has different lessons to learn here, be it faith, self care, self respect, tolerance, patience, compassion, forgiveness... you name it, and while I would like to take all this pain away from every one of you, I feel like I would be taking away from you a great opportunity for growth, even if it doesnt feel that way.

All is well.
 
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Has anyone had an issue with permanent muscle twitches? (fasciculations, myoclonus, spasms... it takes many names).
Worse with caffeine and weed, so maybe it's related to glutamate. They started after my MDMA "OD" and never left, though decreased in severity and frequency.

In hindsight from that night, I probably had 'mild' serotonin syndrome. The poops, shakes, shivers, twitching, confusion were all present, for a couple of days.
 
This thread seems kind of dead so I am not sure if I will get a reply. Here is my story though:
A few months ago back in September I did some MDMA crystal. I'm in the US and I obtained it from a domestic DN source with good reviews. It was purple tinted mostly clearish white crystal advertised to be imported from the NL. I honestly did not test it but I have done MDMA before a few years ago and the effects felt roughly the same. Anyways I did about 150-200mg in a night, starting with 50mg then I did another 100mg then a little tiny more probably like 20-30mg. My scale was not perfectly accurate so thats why I gave a range estimate but I know I def didnt exceed 200mg in a night. I didn't have any noticeable issues after the first roll. Fast forward a month and I did 100mg again and this time the roll felt weird and speedy with almost no euphoria like the first time. I thought maybe it just lost the magic because I only waited a month. Anyways I still didnt feel bad even after this second time. A couple weeks later I did some coke with a friend, an extremely small amount maybe like .2-.3, and that is when everything went south. I got way too overamped on the coke and had a really bad comedown. Ever since then I started having severe anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. I was smoking weed daily at the time so I quit that because it started giving me panic attacks. The panic attacks slowly went away and I was left with just severe anxiety among other symptoms which I will list here:
- Severe anxiety / depression / anhedonia
- Heart palpitations
- Head pressure
- Numbness / tingling in legs / arms
- Pain in my right leg
- Muscle twitching
- Nausea
- Insomnia
- Lack of appetite
- Lack of sex drive

It has been 2 months now since I last rolled and a month and a half since I did the cocaine. At first I thought maybe weed withdrawals were having an effect on me but I ruled that out as it has been over a month since I quit smoking. I know that my current state has something to do with either the MDMA or cocaine I did, or maybe a combination of both. Some theories I have had are either than the MDMA was contaminated with heavy metals or the coke I got was cut or laced with something else. I dont really know but I just want to feel better. I feel really awful everyday and I am losing hope. I have thought about suicide multiple times. I hope someone reads this and can give me some hope although the thread seems quite dead now. Thanks for reading.
 
This thread seems kind of dead so I am not sure if I will get a reply. Here is my story though:
A few months ago back in September I did some MDMA crystal. I'm in the US and I obtained it from a domestic DN source with good reviews. It was purple tinted mostly clearish white crystal advertised to be imported from the NL. I honestly did not test it but I have done MDMA before a few years ago and the effects felt roughly the same. Anyways I did about 150-200mg in a night, starting with 50mg then I did another 100mg then a little tiny more probably like 20-30mg. My scale was not perfectly accurate so thats why I gave a range estimate but I know I def didnt exceed 200mg in a night. I didn't have any noticeable issues after the first roll. Fast forward a month and I did 100mg again and this time the roll felt weird and speedy with almost no euphoria like the first time. I thought maybe it just lost the magic because I only waited a month. Anyways I still didnt feel bad even after this second time. A couple weeks later I did some coke with a friend, an extremely small amount maybe like .2-.3, and that is when everything went south. I got way too overamped on the coke and had a really bad comedown. Ever since then I started having severe anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. I was smoking weed daily at the time so I quit that because it started giving me panic attacks. The panic attacks slowly went away and I was left with just severe anxiety among other symptoms which I will list here:
- Severe anxiety / depression / anhedonia
- Heart palpitations
- Head pressure
- Numbness / tingling in legs / arms
- Pain in my right leg
- Muscle twitching
- Nausea
- Insomnia
- Lack of appetite
- Lack of sex drive

It has been 2 months now since I last rolled and a month and a half since I did the cocaine. At first I thought maybe weed withdrawals were having an effect on me but I ruled that out as it has been over a month since I quit smoking. I know that my current state has something to do with either the MDMA or cocaine I did, or maybe a combination of both. Some theories I have had are either than the MDMA was contaminated with heavy metals or the coke I got was cut or laced with something else. I dont really know but I just want to feel better. I feel really awful everyday and I am losing hope. I have thought about suicide multiple times. I hope someone reads this and can give me some hope although the thread seems quite dead now. Thanks for reading.
See a doctor. Medicine called Paxil helped me. Also Busipirone along with Paxil was a good combo. They did the job.
 
See a doctor. Medicine called Paxil helped me. Also Busipirone along with Paxil was a good combo. They did the job.
This thread seems kind of dead so I am not sure if I will get a reply. Here is my story though:
A few months ago back in September I did some MDMA crystal. I'm in the US and I obtained it from a domestic DN source with good reviews. It was purple tinted mostly clearish white crystal advertised to be imported from the NL. I honestly did not test it but I have done MDMA before a few years ago and the effects felt roughly the same. Anyways I did about 150-200mg in a night, starting with 50mg then I did another 100mg then a little tiny more probably like 20-30mg. My scale was not perfectly accurate so thats why I gave a range estimate but I know I def didnt exceed 200mg in a night. I didn't have any noticeable issues after the first roll. Fast forward a month and I did 100mg again and this time the roll felt weird and speedy with almost no euphoria like the first time. I thought maybe it just lost the magic because I only waited a month. Anyways I still didnt feel bad even after this second time. A couple weeks later I did some coke with a friend, an extremely small amount maybe like .2-.3, and that is when everything went south. I got way too overamped on the coke and had a really bad comedown. Ever since then I started having severe anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. I was smoking weed daily at the time so I quit that because it started giving me panic attacks. The panic attacks slowly went away and I was left with just severe anxiety among other symptoms which I will list here:
- Severe anxiety / depression / anhedonia
- Heart palpitations
- Head pressure
- Numbness / tingling in legs / arms
- Pain in my right leg
- Muscle twitching
- Nausea
- Insomnia
- Lack of appetite
- Lack of sex drive

It has been 2 months now since I last rolled and a month and a half since I did the cocaine. At first I thought maybe weed withdrawals were having an effect on me but I ruled that out as it has been over a month since I quit smoking. I know that my current state has something to do with either the MDMA or cocaine I did, or maybe a combination of both. Some theories I have had are either than the MDMA was contaminated with heavy metals or the coke I got was cut or laced with something else. I dont really know but I just want to feel better. I feel really awful everyday and I am losing hope. I have thought about suicide multiple times. I hope someone reads this and can give me some hope although the thread seems quite dead now. Thanks for reading.
Yah man, I agree with the Paxil guy, an ssri might really help you, then you could slowly wean off of it. I know you said weed made things worse, but have you tried high CBC low THC weed? I’d recommend something with 5% or less THC, and 15% or more cbd.

Maybe gabapentin, kava kava, black seed oil, or buspirone for the anxiety?

Please don’t give up, these symptoms may last over a year, but they should get better with time, you won’t feel like this forever.
 
This thread seems kind of dead so I am not sure if I will get a reply. Here is my story though:
A few months ago back in September I did some MDMA crystal. I'm in the US and I obtained it from a domestic DN source with good reviews. It was purple tinted mostly clearish white crystal advertised to be imported from the NL. I honestly did not test it but I have done MDMA before a few years ago and the effects felt roughly the same. Anyways I did about 150-200mg in a night, starting with 50mg then I did another 100mg then a little tiny more probably like 20-30mg. My scale was not perfectly accurate so thats why I gave a range estimate but I know I def didnt exceed 200mg in a night. I didn't have any noticeable issues after the first roll. Fast forward a month and I did 100mg again and this time the roll felt weird and speedy with almost no euphoria like the first time. I thought maybe it just lost the magic because I only waited a month. Anyways I still didnt feel bad even after this second time. A couple weeks later I did some coke with a friend, an extremely small amount maybe like .2-.3, and that is when everything went south. I got way too overamped on the coke and had a really bad comedown. Ever since then I started having severe anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. I was smoking weed daily at the time so I quit that because it started giving me panic attacks. The panic attacks slowly went away and I was left with just severe anxiety among other symptoms which I will list here:
- Severe anxiety / depression / anhedonia
- Heart palpitations
- Head pressure
- Numbness / tingling in legs / arms
- Pain in my right leg
- Muscle twitching
- Nausea
- Insomnia
- Lack of appetite
- Lack of sex drive

It has been 2 months now since I last rolled and a month and a half since I did the cocaine. At first I thought maybe weed withdrawals were having an effect on me but I ruled that out as it has been over a month since I quit smoking. I know that my current state has something to do with either the MDMA or cocaine I did, or maybe a combination of both. Some theories I have had are either than the MDMA was contaminated with heavy metals or the coke I got was cut or laced with something else. I dont really know but I just want to feel better. I feel really awful everyday and I am losing hope. I have thought about suicide multiple times. I hope someone reads this and can give me some hope although the thread seems quite dead now. Thanks for reading.

Wow, anhedonia is quite a severe symptom. More than just hormonal going on with all of these symptoms. r/depressionregimens, r/MAOIs, r/anhedonia

Anyways, there are a few things that work for anhedonia. May wanna consult Dr. Ken Gillman or email him.
Ketamine IVs, TCA, MAOI are the main meds for that part of it.

SSRI often don't treat this symptom very well and can be blunting although they may help the anxiety. But in some people, they can work. Vortioxetine is a special one that has studies on anhedonia.

Ketamine IV also may help the suicidal thoughts.
 
This thread seems kind of dead so I am not sure if I will get a reply. Here is my story though:
A few months ago back in September I did some MDMA crystal. I'm in the US and I obtained it from a domestic DN source with good reviews. It was purple tinted mostly clearish white crystal advertised to be imported from the NL. I honestly did not test it but I have done MDMA before a few years ago and the effects felt roughly the same. Anyways I did about 150-200mg in a night, starting with 50mg then I did another 100mg then a little tiny more probably like 20-30mg. My scale was not perfectly accurate so thats why I gave a range estimate but I know I def didnt exceed 200mg in a night. I didn't have any noticeable issues after the first roll. Fast forward a month and I did 100mg again and this time the roll felt weird and speedy with almost no euphoria like the first time. I thought maybe it just lost the magic because I only waited a month. Anyways I still didnt feel bad even after this second time. A couple weeks later I did some coke with a friend, an extremely small amount maybe like .2-.3, and that is when everything went south. I got way too overamped on the coke and had a really bad comedown. Ever since then I started having severe anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. I was smoking weed daily at the time so I quit that because it started giving me panic attacks. The panic attacks slowly went away and I was left with just severe anxiety among other symptoms which I will list here:
- Severe anxiety / depression / anhedonia
- Heart palpitations
- Head pressure
- Numbness / tingling in legs / arms
- Pain in my right leg
- Muscle twitching
- Nausea
- Insomnia
- Lack of appetite
- Lack of sex drive

It has been 2 months now since I last rolled and a month and a half since I did the cocaine. At first I thought maybe weed withdrawals were having an effect on me but I ruled that out as it has been over a month since I quit smoking. I know that my current state has something to do with either the MDMA or cocaine I did, or maybe a combination of both. Some theories I have had are either than the MDMA was contaminated with heavy metals or the coke I got was cut or laced with something else. I dont really know but I just want to feel better. I feel really awful everyday and I am losing hope. I have thought about suicide multiple times. I hope someone reads this and can give me some hope although the thread seems quite dead now. Thanks for reading.
Hey man, sorry to hear that you´re suffering. From reading your story I believe you will recover, as I had similiar symptoms after having an overwhelming MDMA experience.

First of all go see a doctor to rule out any medical condition.

You say it all started after getting "overamped" from the coke. I think what happened is that you shocked your organism that day which can happen from regular coke, if your nervous system is already in a certain kind of state. Basically some people get stuck in fight/flight/freeze mode through certain events, where the primitive parts of the brain are overly active and shut down the higher parts. That can cause anxiety, dissociation, depression, insomnia and all kinds of other symptoms.

So I would approach this from the angle of getting your body to relax and realize that there is no danger, that you´re safe.

First of all you have to accept the state you´re in. Don´t fight it, as fighting it creates unnecessary stress which disrupts the healing process. Forgive yourself and believe that you´re going to be okay, because that is the truth of the matter.

To calm your body you should avoid overstimulation through social media, porn, drugs, news, fast food etc. Let your mind and body rest. Do some Qi Gong, Tai Chi kinda stuff or just go for walks and sit still. Do the following breathing pattern: breathe 4 sec in - hold for 1 sec - 8 sec out - hold for 1 sec. Do these for a few minutes a few times a day. Lay on the floor and just feel the different parts of your body, the ground beneath you, your breath.

Nourish your body with whole foods, especially lots of fresh vegetables and fruit, good quality animal protein and complex carbs (and maybe a magnesium and Vitamin D supplement). Prioritize sleep. Get the blood flowing and sweat a few times a week through cardio and bodyweight exercises. Sauna can be helpful also.

The most important thing is to not ruminate. Get off the internet trying to diagnose yourself. Just put your mind and body in the place to heal. Gradually your nervous system will calm down and you will be your old self, most likely even stronger than before.
 
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I suffered from a long term comedown for nearly 4 months. It was a nightmare. Paxil and Buspar (Busipirone) saved me. Was able to ween off as well. Go get medical help. There are drug abuse related clinics that can also help.
 
been a while since i've logged onto here, but was on another online forum by pure chance that had this exact layout so thought i'd come back here.

anyone who's going through it rn, it does get better the moment you stop reading stuff on the internet. it's been 10 years since i had what felt like a psychotic break (WHICH IT WASN'T btw). honestly the most damage i did was spending weeks and months worrying reading up on everything about the brain and being on here. log out, go get some air and try to realise that you haven't messed anything up, you'd just been burnt by the fire a bit and your brain is just in shock a bit.
 
Hello everyone, just checking in.

Ive been better for near enough a year now ever since using Paxil (Paroxetine) for ~2 months. @district9 has been advocating for it but no one listens. I had a huge thread in which I logged my journey, but I’ve deleted it since.

My working theory is that somewhere during the consumption of MDMA you had a panic attack which induced all these symptoms. Something about it knocks the central nervous system out of order and it gets stuck in a fight or flight response. I’ve seen several TikTok’s of people this has happened to without ever doing MDMA so I can only trace it back to the initial panic attack(s), and in retrospect, this condition isn’t as rare and unique as I thought it was.

I’m so good now I can’t even remotely remember the hell I went through. You’ll all get better given the right circumstances, mindset, and antidepressant. Namely, the antidepressant that worked for me was Paroxetine. Don’t overthink and delay trying it, just go and get it. You’ll notice a difference in a matter of a couple days.

As a side note, if you’re wondering why recovered people don’t come back here and that gives you anxiety (this was me too), it’s because when you’re better you get busy with your life and you don’t want to go back to anything that reminds you of your suffering. But I feel obliged to since I’m better now and I don’t want others to be in that place I luckily escaped from.
 
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Hello, I'm writing here today for the reason that many of you have anecdotal experiences regarding trials of many or all of the available antidepressants in respect to type and effect.
For many years now (since 2015) I have had cognitive deficits (memory, executive function, general cognition, work memory, issues)as a result of MDMA Abuse(one time, high dose), and/or Depression.Basically, I feel like atleast 25-30 % of my brain has been hijacked ever since.

My question is:
Which antidepressant / other drugs / combination of drugs is/are most likely to improve the functioning of my brain?
I have no intention of becoming a zombified blob that eats/sleeps and cares to do little else. I do not care about feeling less depressed if this comes at the expense of general cognitive function, I have no issues with anxiety, sleep, paranoia or any other problems ASIDE from what I have described above.
After researching a bit on my own, I have read that there are antidepressants that can help with cognition although having no measurable effect on percieved depression.
I'm forever grateful to those of you bearing through reading my post, giving advice.

Thank you,
lotusxmw
Paroxetine.
 
Hello everyone, just checking in.

Ive been better for near enough a year now ever since using Paxil (Paroxetine) for ~2 months. @district9 has been advocating for it but no one listens. I had a huge thread in which I logged my journey, but I’ve deleted it since.

My working theory is that somewhere during the consumption of MDMA you had a panic attack which induced all these symptoms. Something about it knocks the central nervous system out of order and it gets stuck in a fight or flight response. I’ve seen several TikTok’s of people this has happened to without ever doing MDMA so I can only trace it back to the initial panic attack(s), and in retrospect, this condition isn’t as rare and unique as I thought it was.

I’m so good now I can’t even remotely remember the hell I went through. You’ll all get better given the right circumstances, mindset, and antidepressant. Namely, the antidepressant that worked for me was Paroxetine. Don’t overthink and delay trying it, just go and get it. You’ll notice a difference in a matter of a couple days.

As a side note, if you’re wondering why recovered people don’t come back here and that gives you anxiety (this was me too), it’s because when you’re better you get busy with your life and you don’t want to go back to anything that reminds you of your suffering. But I feel obliged to since I’m better now and I don’t want others to be in that place I luckily escaped from.
I'm glad you're feeling better. Yes, seeking medical help and getting treatment from meds does indeed help. There are way too many outdated posts on bluelight that encourage people NOT to get medical help. Those posts are outdated and harmful! Medical science keeps evolving and getting better. People should be encouraged to seek medical help and get meds for treatment. Paxil is a wonderful medication.

Good luck! :)
 
Lurker here. A few months ago I mixed weed, adderall and mdma all in one night. Mood wasn't right, and all of a sudden I became extremely paranoid and then had my first panic attack ever. I wanted to throw myself in front of a car because it was so bad. I then started to not believe anything was real, questioned reality and said some really dumb shit to close people around me.

Afterwards, I experienced depression for about 2-3 weeks that eventually resolved itself. What I was left with was severe anxiety, and an exacerbation of my OCD, which I didn't even know I had. For 2 months, I lurked on these forums, and tried to do everything to "fix" the issue. Taking ashwaganda, I kept exercising a ton, taking supplements, and I believe that my healthy lifestyle was slowly but surely fixing the issue. Every morning my anxiety would be really bad and then got better by around 6:00 PM.

I eventually realized that mornings were bad because of heigtened coritisol levels that dissipated through the day. I eventually got a pysch and got onto buspar, which helped, but the progress was slow. 2 months later I was going through personal issues and eventually went a couple of days without sleep. This is what messed me up.

The insomnia I had for two days made my anxiety worse causing MORE panic attacks, and I ended in the ER a couple times. I had a ton of brain fog, severr anxiety, depersonlization, extreme guilt and shame, you name it. I talked to my psych and they put me on lexapro almost immediately starting at 5mg the first two weeks and then 10mg. After 4 weeks, today is the first day where I've felt completely normal. I had to use klonopin for the first few weeks to bridge over, and I'm still combating insomnia with trazadone. But I see a light at the end of the tunnel. It's only been 4 weeks since I started lexapro, and before this I had never in my life been on any type of serious mediciation.

With other people who have tried Paxil or Lexapro, I would recommend trying this route as well if you have insurance and access. I've been researching quite a bit, and finally decided on trying an SSRI which did help me.

In my observations, if you're a person thats dispositioned to high anxiety, the initial panic attack can change your serotonin re-uptake, and cause heightened anxiety and panic. Once you have your first panic attack, you're going to have more unless you address the symptoms. I'm not discounting the people who fixed this without SSRIs, as I was also doing this. But it seems like Lexapro sped up that process considerably. I feel like I still have a long way to go, but I haven't felt this normal since before I experienced that disastrous night.

TLDR:
I developed a panic disoder. I treated it with an SSRI, its been 4 weeks and today was the first day since that day where I felt normal. Also, sleep is VERY important in recovery. Please prioritize your sleep.
 
Hello everyone I just wanted to make a post about my current situation and of someone has experience anything like this. It's getting out of hand. So I took about .5mg one Night. The next day everything went down hill. I began to get stiff neck, stiff back feels like my nerves. Theyre tense all the time. Blurred vision and horrible anxiety as well a brain fog. I've been to doctors have had ct scans, blood work and medication prescribed for the tension and headaches. Nothing seems to work its been about a month and becoming a bit worried. Has anyone experienced this. If so I would like to hear back from you guys. Thanks
.5mg?
 
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