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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 3)

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nightElf said:
I thought I'd update my status, since it's been a while since I wrote something here :)

I consumed again (low dosis, but I always did low dosis), 3/4 pills in a party + 1/8 LSD tab (all TESTED, of course) and 1.5 months later, half a pill in another. I had zero issues whatsoever. Was able to sleep fine, had like 1 brain zap that I could remember, prior to sleep, but that's it.

I'm always doing EGCC + 5-HTP for 6-7 days after the party. That REALLY seems to help.

I still get some ticks/jumps, but they are very manageable, and I sleep just fine, during the entire night. Still living a healthly life, in general (almost no alcohol, no other drugs, etc).
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Have you considered supplementing with Omega 3 and/or Acetyl-L-Carnitine? I ask because apparently they support (among other things) cognitive function in general.
 
okay so after 6 months of brain zaps, since the beginning of the new year I've completley cut out alcohol, had a really health diet (now cut out coffee) and now upped my exercise (now doing 5km runs in the week and 10km on weekends). but for some reason I feel like they're getting worse! they seem to be getting worse from when I sleep, where I fall asleep or wake up...is this normal ? do they have to get worse before they get better? got this horrible feeling that they are permanant! I should probably go doctors but what would they say? surely there's not much they could do? thanks people!
 
Think I've done some permanent nerve damage or receptor damage the pain hasn't numbed, getting so sick of it. Life is not enjoyable. Reached a low point ... Anyone got any tips ?
 
ro4eva said:
Have you considered supplementing with Omega 3 and/or Acetyl-L-Carnitine? I ask because apparently they support (among other things) cognitive function in general.
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I also took Fish Oil for several months, I forgot to add it. Maybe that also helped, I have stopped taking it now.

I did not try those suplements that you suggest, I'll investigate and get back :)

I'm also following the post load from rollsafe.org (Vit C when I get home, melatonyn (~10mg) after the party).
 
I started using mdma around june 13' nd stopped around march 14' due to anxiety racing heart etc i never had a problem with it until i popped two nd thought i was gonna die and went to the e.r...took alil time off it nd took it again no problem but maybe a some time later i took a narcotic pain pill oxycodone and started experiencing heart palpitations.. i really lost it then. I was put on a beta blocker from then on. My last roll was in march 14' and i took alil nd still went into a panic heart racing thinking im gonna die.. i had all types of test done and im in good health.. i tried a blunt and idk how much i smoked nd went into a panic... last nite i tried alil molly nd my heart rate went up.. idk what my issue is can someone help?
 
Joker I think your brain react bad at drugs,this is a sign that you must stop using them...
 
Is there any hope ? ( mdma recovery longterm 3 + years) Long term recovery stories

Hello everyone,

I would just like to thank in advance anyone that will be reading this as I am going through a very difficult time here and would like some answers. I do know there is an mdma recovery forum but there are newer people on there and I would like to focus on people in long term recovery of any drug. My story basically started with using marijuana in college which escalated to opiates when I was in grad school . I was addicted to opiates for 4 years and quit myself back in 2013. I went through withdrawal and recovered fully within 2 months and never felt better in my life. I stupidly started experimenting with mdma one year later and did a couple of stupid binges that cost me basically my life . I did not understand the nature of mdma how neurotoxic in nature it was. I did not understand the spacing of time and how small of an amount was needed. I had a panic attack on my last use convinced myself i have a heart problem caused by the mdma and that i would die. I have quit all drugs for 3 years now and i have recovered somewhat but for the most part i feel messed up. I have trouble talking with people and making conversation which was completely opposite of who i was. I have chronic neck tightness and muscle tightness all over the body. I have an overactive heart which i have had a battery of test for ( ekg echo , 2 holter monitor tests all indicating normal). When i eat my heart speeds up and i feel tightness in my throat. I have very bad anxiety but this has gotten better somewhat in the past couple of months. I have become ocd about having a heart issue , i have convinced myself that my abuse caused an issue to my heart and i focus on it every moment and every second. I feel extremely fatigued when i wake up and it is very hard to keep up with life and work. I had a battery of tests including hormones which turned out ok. Basically my question is has anyone had a sudden or significant recovery beyond 2 years or is this pretty much it . I am looking to hear from anyone who changed suddenly from recovery after a stand still period doesn't matter what drug . I have found stories like that but would like to gather them here. Thank You for reading :D
 
"trouble talking with people and making conversation"
Can you explain this more ? isit a sort of social anxiety, or do you just feel your mind becomes blank and you don't know what to say ect ?
 
Its like a strange social anxiety that I never had before. Its like i want to speed up talking so i can get out of the situation fast. I definitely cannot enjoy any conversation with anyone.
 
I think i know what you mean...

When normal people talk to each other, the brain releases certain chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin ect, but when we socialize, our brains don't release this, therefore we can't enjoy/derive pleasure from conversing...

I knew about 1 guy, he had a similar problem. He said it happened after major drug-abuse. He was using different drugs daily, and he told me it took him "3-4 years of being 100% sober before he felt normal again"
 
Would you say it has gotten better over time ?
Was it really bad at first, or has it stayed at a constant rate throughout the period of time
 
Hi there, when I was really young (14) when I abused ecstasy (hundreds of pills and many 10+ pill binges) and as you can imagine it took quite the toll on my brain and body. I would say that recovery is continuous in the sense that with every year recovery continues, and this will even be true in the coming decades. It took a good couple years for me to start to improve but I think the main thing that has been helping me is cardio. I really wish I would've started cardio sooner. My advice is do as much running as you possibly and keep that up as long as you possibly can. Cardio has been shown to increase neurogenesis of serotonin in a really important part of the brain. You can benefit from the increased bloodflow and creation of new arteries in your brain as well.

The other thing to address is your sleep if you have any issues with that. I'm very good with sleep medicine so if you have insomnia please let me know.

It might be hard to find the motivation to do cardio but blast some music and do your best to get through it for a couple months, after then it'll start to get easier and easier and you'll feel better and better. The results will be encouraging. Please do the cardio.
 
I agree, im not sure about 'decades', but i think recovery goes on for many years
and the guy above is right, cardio is one of the best things to do for recovery. It promotes bdnf to parts of the brain such as the prefrontal cortex, and allows re-innervation of serotonin
 
Thank You, I have seen a couple of your posts and they seem very hopeful. There is an issue though which is killing me . Exercise cured my opiate addiction so I am very familiar on what exercise can do but since this happened i feel weird and kind of dizzy after exercise which is not the way i felt before . i would feel rejuvenated after exercise but now when intense i feel out of it. There is good news though as i took a 5 mile speed walk a week ago and felt refreshed afterwards which i have not felt in a long time. Did you ever have any heart symptoms from this and how old are you now ? I know it is a serotonin issue because when i go to sleep i always wake up 2-3 time to binge eat and i cannot stop it no matter how hard i have tried. I am obese since this incident happened so maybe being sedentary is causing some portion of the symptoms or slowing down the recovery. let me know if you have any advice Cotcha ?
 
I too have struggled with some negative effects from MDMA use, though nothing extreme as my use was actually reasonably sensible. I believe most if not all of the 'LTC' effects seem to be a form of strange anxiety. I notice these strange anxiety effects in basically everyone I know who used or has used MDMA in the semi-recent past; the problem seems to occur when the user becomes self-aware of these effects.

This concurs with one of the research papers I read where during experiments with MDMA on rats, observing effects on their serotonin system, they couldn't find any striking damage to the serotonin system itself, but the rats exhibited persistent semi-permanent anxiety symptoms which could not be explained. There is evidently something MDMA is doing in the brain that we don't understand yet, and is leading to these effects.

I have yet to find a magic bullet to fix this anxiety once and for all, but I believe time will eventually heal it. I used MDMA once every 2 months on average for 1 year and ended up with these issues, and they began to noticeably subside after around one year without MDMA. I imagine more abusive use just requires more time. The only advice I can give would be to simply seek advice for treating anxiety, and for you to find things which relieve your anxiety and practice them regularly, like meditation maybe, and try eating healthily. The one thing I have noticed is that all the problems seem to fade away at any point that my general anxiety levels are reduced.
 
TrulyBlessed87 said:
Exercise cured my opiate addiction so I am very familiar on what exercise can do but since this happened i feel weird and kind of dizzy after exercise which is not the way i felt before . i would feel rejuvenated after exercise but now when intense i feel out of it. There is good news though as i took a 5 mile speed walk a week ago and felt refreshed afterwards which i have not felt in a long time. Did you ever have any heart symptoms from this and how old are you now ? I know it is a serotonin issue because when i go to sleep i always wake up 2-3 time to binge eat and i cannot stop it no matter how hard i have tried. I am obese since this incident happened so maybe being sedentary is causing some portion of the symptoms or slowing down the recovery. let me know if you have any advice Cotcha ?
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Sorry to hear your having such a long recovery.

Obesity will definitely have an impact on recovery (even mentally it can add to social anxiety) and key to giving yourself the best chance is to get the weight off.

Also re your cardio remember that it can work against you if you go beyond your capability. Could well be that at current you simply can't cope with the cardio intensity you think you can by the fact you are getting light headed. We all get light headed if we overdo it.

Build your cardio gradually and always monitor your heart rate so you can see when it is getting high or low and adjust accordingly. Look up your age weight etc and find the optimum for you. Sounds like a good speed walk is what suits at current. Stay with that and do it regularly (3 times a week minimum) until you find you can do more. If your heart monitoring your heart will tell you when and if your getting fitter. You will also get thinner quicker by staying in the right heart rate.

I lived most of my adult life as obese to then lose 30 kg In a year. the positive effect mentally and physically from weight loss will definitely help you along the way.
 
I think the heart is a common source of anxiety, but if you have had an echocardiogram and EKG you have ruled out any possible heart issues. What you probably have is chronic deconditioning, which will really mean that you'll have to start off a bit lighter on the exercise, especially if you are overweight.

I've never had any heart symptoms myself and have been all checked out (I'm 20 now) but what did really get me is chronic deconditioning, I personally think it's really common with amphetamines (and not as common with opiates).

The hunger hormone ghrelin is released during times of poor sleep, it's thought to be a way for our bodies to make up for the lack of sleep - over eating to make up for the lack of sleep. There is a big connection between having prior sleep issues (namely sleep apnea) when skinny and that leading to increases in the hunger hormone which is the actual cause of obesity in people with sleep apnea, instead of people getting obese and then getting sleep apnea as is usually thought in public society. I had sleep apnea myself when I was young and very skinny, this was due to me not being able to breathe through my nose at night (so I snored through my mouth). On that note MDMA has actually been shown to cause sleep apnea. So I would really think about trying to get a sleep study done if that's an option for you, but eating health and exercising will lead to weight loss that will improve possible sleep apnea. I would try to keep your fridge stocked with nutritious foods and just don't buy junk food in the first place. Protein is really important.

I do think you would feel a lot better if you could start eating healthy and exercising regularly to lose the weight. I would think about picking up some weights along with cardio by the way.

Keep up the exercise <3
 
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