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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 3)

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skeeto222 said:
I have yet to try them again but I plan on doing it soon. Only thing holding be back is the fact that I had a bad acid trip and so am reluctant to engage with psychedelics.

Also I'll try to find the study but there was another suggesting DMT/Ayahuasca did the same thing, specifically that Ayahuasca increased Serotonin a lot and it became much more pronounced in one's blood. DMT and Psilocybin are quite similar.

If there is a drug answer to our issues I think it is within those substances. As soon as I do shrooms I'll post here, hoping that it can help me cure myself of all or most of these problems.
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That's awesome! I don't have much knowledge about Ayahuasca but I know it is something much more mystical than any other psychedelic. I always believed that all the mistakes I made in my life made ​​me achieve knowledge and understanding of it, and now I think if I get out of this, if we get out of this, we will be unique persons in the world, with experiences that no other human being had. I believe the drugs that comes naturally on earth are somehow the universe trying to connect with us, and that's not hippie talk, I have never been more sober in my life, the only problem is these symptoms of LTC.
 
I would just like to emphasize that I am here crazily talking about neurogenesis, like I was sure that my neurons are fucked. That's because I know they are. But that doesn't mean that others here are with the same problem, especially the new members.

I came to this conclusion after reading thousands of pages, dozens of studies, reports, threads, and everything you can imagine.

I basically had an ecstasy overdose with 6 pills and a half, plus insane amounts of alcohol in one night, and after that I started having panic attacks, blurred vision, insomnia and dozens of other symptoms. The insomnia is what proves to me that there is something wrong with my brain because sleep is a natural thing. But I have been analyzing posts and not all the problems here can be considered brain damage, you need to understand your brain, your mind and your body before reaching any conclusion.
 
Londonscouser said:
Haven't heard from Ryan23 in a while...if you see this mate, tell us how you are doing
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I hope he doesn't mind me saying so, but I've been keeping in touch with him via PM. The poor guy is suffering and I'm really trying to support him best I can (but thankfully he's still checking in if you're wondering).
 
ro4eva said:
I hope he doesn't mind me saying so, but I've been keeping in touch with him via PM. The poor guy is suffering and I'm really trying to support him best I can (but thankfully he's still checking in if you're wondering).
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Good to hear he's still keeping in touch. I wish everybody here a happy new years. Hopefully 2016 will be a year of recovery for us. Never give up hope! Where there is a will, there is a way.

@Budal202, I'm afraid it's much more complicated than simple serotonergic neurogenesis...for example, your neurons could be exactly the same, but if there is damage to SERT (serotonin transporters), than there is no re-uptake of serotonin...there is probably a variety of different aspects that contribute to LTCs, and i very much doubt it is just a simple case of serotonin neurotoxicity..
 
Budal202 said:
I would just like to emphasize that I am here crazily talking about neurogenesis, like I was sure that my neurons are fucked. That's because I know they are. But that doesn't mean that others here are with the same problem, especially the new members.

I came to this conclusion after reading thousands of pages, dozens of studies, reports, threads, and everything you can imagine.

I basically had an ecstasy overdose with 6 pills and a half, plus insane amounts of alcohol in one night, and after that I started having panic attacks, blurred vision, insomnia and dozens of other symptoms. The insomnia is what proves to me that there is something wrong with my brain because sleep is a natural thing. But I have been analyzing posts and not all the problems here can be considered brain damage, you need to understand your brain, your mind and your body before reaching any conclusion.
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I'm with you, as much as I want to believe my situation is only mental from the bad lsd trip, I truly think I did damage to my serotonergic system, especially because of the insomnia and dozen other symptoms. Things that were natural are no longer natural and I have to put a lot of effort into just barely appearing normally functioning.
 
Hey guys hope all is well. I have a strange question. I am 3 years clean and trying to put my life together after this ltc. My question is do you think this ltc effects sperm count . Any of you guys conceive children or have children ?
 
TrulyBlessed87 said:
Hey guys hope all is well. I have a strange question. I am 3 years clean and trying to put my life together after this ltc. My question is do you think this ltc effects sperm count . Any of you guys conceive children or have children ?
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I've conceived quite easily during my ongoing brutal LTC so don't think it affects it. I however question if it was the right thing to have done in this state.
 
I 2nd this, my girlfriend is 6 weeks pregnant and I am 4 and half months into an awful ltc. I just hope I can fully recover for the sake of my unborn child.
 
8 months in now. I've have been improving but still not normal. Crazy to think that I ahve been going through this for 8 months already.

I guess my brain hasn't got a fair stretch of months to recover anyway. I originally started feeling 'off' about 1/2 weeks after my roll. I kept drinking from May-August approx. weekly/bi weekly, at the time ddin't realise that alcohol would actually effect my recovery. So from August until now I've been sober.

August - October = Stayed sober, began getting back into the gym but suffered a concussion in training late October

Mid November - Christmas = Started to train again, slowed down towardsw Christmas and I've been eating like a piggy over the festive period, it's hard not to indulge.

So should I really only consider myself 4 months into recovery?

It's really fucking upsetting that I'm still going through this. Hopefully I'll continue to improve all the way to a full recovery
 
I didnt even notice it, but im 100% sure my brain fog and constant dreamstate are gone. Cool!
 
I've been having brain zaps for 6 months after a heavy ecstasy binge June last year, they are getting better but very slowly and the healing process seems to be slowing down... I'm going to stop drinking now till they're better (I think the reason why it's taken so long) and knock drugs on the head completley. if it doesn't improve over the next month I'm going to go doctors. has anyone on here ever experience this sort of thing before?

to expand on this -
so back in late June this year I attended a music festival and went on a huge drugs and alcohol bender. I took a stupid amount of strong xtc pills as well as mixing with other drugs. afterwards, as you would expect, I had a really really bad intense comedown (intense depression, sleep
paralysis, anxiety, brain zaps and ect) which lasted about a week. but the brain zaps have remained.

they have gotten much better - they used to be all day everyday, really harsh and intense, I was told they could last months and months which concerned me. I now only get them on weekdays, mainly from around 5-6pm onwards mainly from the midweek to Friday. the only way I can get rid of them is by sleeping or exercise. I don't really get them on weekends, it's just during the week, whilst at work, during high brain activity when my brain starts to get tired. the zaps are basically a soft kind of pulsing 'thud' and normally occur whilst walking around or moving my eyes from left to right. my ears are always constantly ringing, I've always had tinnitus but now much worse because of my stupidity.

If you have any help or advise it would be much appreciated, this has been a horrible last 6 months. I'm going to now stop drinking, exercise and nap everyday, take 5htp once a day and eat oily fish. thank you !
 
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I have suffered from two LTC. (yes i was retarded enough to abuse again). The first one lasted six months. I managed to shift the second one after just two months. This took these steps:

1. Realization - The sooner you realize that all of this is psychological, the sooner you can heal yourself. The imbalance from the MDMA will have gone after two weeks - month so its really just the belief you've changed yourself and fucked yourself up for good that is causing your current issues. The sooner you realize you are worrying about nothing and have no reason to worry about nothing, the sooner you'll stop worrying about nothing.

2. Exercise - No need to go into much detail. Physical exercise releases dopamine which MAKES YOU HAPPY. Having a exercise plan can also help to give your days more structure which leads me on to....

3. Don't let time fly by you - One of the worst things you can do when you are feeling depressed is sit around doing nothing. It will only make you more unhappy. No matter how derealized you feel, just know that it will pass and get out there and do something. Whether thats exercise or going to a museum or meeting with friends (you can do it alone but interaction will help, especially if you tell them what you are experiencing. Your close friends will always listen to you and once you've told them you'll feel far more relaxed around them). Just do something to make sure you aren't sitting around all day getting more sad and worried about how sad and worried you already are.
 
robmatch22 said:
I've been having brain zaps for 6 months after a heavy ecstasy binge June last year, they are getting better but very slowly and the healing process seems to be slowing down... I'm going to stop drinking now till they're better (I think the reason why it's taken so long) and knock drugs on the head completley. if it doesn't improve over the next month I'm going to go doctors. has anyone on here ever experience this sort of thing before?

to expand on this -
so back in late June this year I attended a music festival and went on a huge drugs and alcohol bender. I took a stupid amount of strong xtc pills as well as mixing with other drugs. afterwards, as you would expect, I had a really really bad intense comedown (intense depression, sleep
paralysis, anxiety, brain zaps and ect) which lasted about a week. but the brain zaps have remained.

they have gotten much better - they used to be all day everyday, really harsh and intense, I was told they could last months and months which concerned me. I now only get them on weekdays, mainly from around 5-6pm onwards mainly from the midweek to Friday. the only way I can get rid of them is by sleeping or exercise. I don't really get them on weekends, it's just during the week, whilst at work, during high brain activity when my brain starts to get tired. the zaps are basically a soft kind of pulsing 'thud' and normally occur whilst walking around or moving my eyes from left to right. my ears are always constantly ringing, I've always had tinnitus but now much worse because of my stupidity.

If you have any help or advise it would be much appreciated, this has been a horrible last 6 months. I'm going to now stop drinking, exercise and nap everyday, take 5htp once a day and eat oily fish. thank you !
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i wouldnt take 5 htp for extended periods daily,tends to downregulate your own boys production of serotoninin my opinions it is only good in the week after the binge to support your bodys own production but in long term your body will adapt to that chemical serotonin and will downregulate.
I would advise to be comnpletely absent from every drug,even coffeine for at least a month and also working out to make sure your brain can recover at 100 %
 
yeh good shout is caffeine really that bad for the brain ? I'm gonna go on a 10k run on saturday really gonna push it, I haven drunk for 6 days now and really starting to see the difference already but it's the sort of thing which doesn't heal overnight, gonna finish what I have of the 5htp then stop using it for a while. cheers !
 
I thought I'd update my status, since it's been a while since I wrote something here :)

I consumed again (low dosis, but I always did low dosis), 3/4 pills in a party + 1/8 LSD tab (all TESTED, of course) and 1.5 months later, half a pill in another. I had zero issues whatsoever. Was able to sleep fine, had like 1 brain zap that I could remember, prior to sleep, but that's it.

I'm always doing EGCC + 5-HTP for 6-7 days after the party. That REALLY seems to help.

I still get some ticks/jumps, but they are very manageable, and I sleep just fine, during the entire night. Still living a healthly life, in general (almost no alcohol, no other drugs, etc).
 
Has anyone here used a sensory deprivation tank? It's supposed to help put your brain in the same states as deep meditation which help for brain growth. I'm gonna give it a go this weekend and see if it works at all.
 
I've recently been having really bad panic attacks due to various stuff and the doc has supplied me with ssri's (citaprham I think it's called) which are antidepressants.... I'm really determined to get rid of these brain zaps which are definatley getting better but will these tablets make them worse? I've heard they are linked with brain zaps after extended use ? thanks
 
robmatch22 said:
I've recently been having really bad panic attacks due to various stuff and the doc has supplied me with ssri's (citaprham I think it's called) which are antidepressants.... I'm really determined to get rid of these brain zaps which are definatley getting better but will these tablets make them worse? I've heard they are linked with brain zaps after extended use ? thanks
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I was prescribed Escitalopram by my neurologist and Sertraline by my psychiatrist wich are both SSRI's with the same function and i didn't took any of then yet, i think you should try everything else before going to these, because they have some side effects like erectile dysfunction and anhedonia. If you are already suffering these from your LTC the first thing to do is start exercising and change the way you think about these sympthons. You need to know that every panic attack or brain zap is a consequence of chemical unbalance and things happening into your brain, if you start to think like that you'll see how thigs get better. Next time you have a panic attack you just think: "OK, so we are going going through another panic attack, just my amygdala actions caused by acumulated trauma, so go for it body, give me the best tachycardia, palpitations ands desrealization you can because i'm used to this shit and i can handle it. And this actually works dude, you don't give attention to the panic attack, and it still happen, i will not lie, but is so much easier. You have to understant what is the trigger that activate your amygdala when you are having a panic attack and realize it, write it down if possible. By doing that you're activating your hypothalamus which inhibits the action of the amygdala.

Right now you hypothalamus must be stunted, restrained due to the amount of stress you've been going going through so you need to activate it and use it.
 
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I'm so happy guys. I was able to have some good sex today. Finally! After months being terrified by the thought that i would never have normal sex again and it was a permanent thing caused by LTC.

This changes everything, i was able to let myself go almost entirely, forgot about everything. Fuck blured vision, panic attacks and desrealization. I can have sex again! Fuck this shit!

Man, last time i tried i took 2 pills of viagra and couldn't get it up being extremly nervous about, had a panic attack. Everything changed after i started this depersonalization disorder program, yesterday. Just one day after starting the fucking program and feel so much better.

But we all know that there are good days and bad days so i'll keep going with the program, therapy, my supplements, exercises and keep you guys informed.

A least i have some hope, happiness and pleasure now in life.

Thanks for everyone who helped me here! I'll keep you guys informed.
 
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thanks for commenting I really appreicate it! yeah I feel I can sort
of handle my panic attacks, I can control them and know what they are its just really unpleasant... decided I'm
not gonna take these tablets yet gonna see how it goes, the side affects look horrible and apparently takes weeks to even kick in! in the mean time I'm gonna really look
after myself and hope all this subsides, I'm sure it will eventually! since I've stopped drinking the zaps are a lot better
 
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