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Mdma recovery! Please help.. anyone with similar experience ? Please! This is hell

I had the same issues after MDMA use. I would use anti-oxidants like Vitamin C, N-A-C and throw in some Glucosamine for your joints.
 
ADubbs said:
Did u find it gave u any visual issues?
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Not really but it did give me a feeling of pressure behind the eyes. Perhaps many months ago it may have aggravated visual snow & floaters but those have ceased now.
 
8BitTrip said:
Not really but it did give me a feeling of pressure behind the eyes. Perhaps many months ago it may have aggravated visual snow & floaters but those have ceased now.
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Hold up--so your VS is actually gone now?!

How about tinnitus?
 
socrilus said:
Hold up--so your VS is actually gone now?!

How about tinnitus?
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Yes, gone. Tbh it was more of an all-pervasive DR/DP which affected my vision. It was as if my sight was out of sync, perspective distortion, blurriness and I do recall visual snow but now it's either gone, or massively reduced to the point where it doesn't concern me. After studying everything for a second I noticed that it is still there but not causing any disorientation.

Tinnitus was never one of my major symptoms. There was a point where it was particularly loud and bothering me but it's definitely got better, or my perception of it has.
 
8BitTrip said:
Yes, gone. Tbh it was more of an all-pervasive DR/DP which affected my vision. It was as if my sight was out of sync, perspective distortion, blurriness and I do recall visual snow but now it's either gone, or massively reduced to the point where it doesn't concern me. After studying everything for a second I noticed that it is still there but not causing any disorientation.

Tinnitus was never one of my major symptoms. There was a point where it was particularly loud and bothering me but it's definitely got better, or my perception of it has.
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Oh ok yea that makes more sense. I definitely have had moments where I am either doing well and I don't notice the tinnitus+VS at all OR interstingly when I'm on the flip side I am in a horrible setback and those symptoms 'recede' because the other mood/anxiety stuff takes precedence.

I never had the perspective distortion or whatever though in terms of vision just visual snow. And never had persisting DP/DR except after the ketamine I tried recently but the DP/DR from it subsided after 6 weeks.

My symptoms in the beginning were quite similar to OP here though who doesn't seem to have the DP/DR.
 
socrilus said:
Oh ok yea that makes more sense. I definitely have had moments where I am either doing well and I don't notice the tinnitus+VS at all OR interstingly when I'm on the flip side I am in a horrible setback and those symptoms 'recede' because the other mood/anxiety stuff takes precedence.

I never had the perspective distortion or whatever though in terms of vision just visual snow. And never had persisting DP/DR except after the ketamine I tried recently but the DP/DR from it subsided after 6 weeks.

My symptoms in the beginning were quite similar to OP here though who doesn't seem to have the DP/DR.
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So what are your worst symptoms right now? The ones that are causing you pain or anguish.
 
8BitTrip said:
So what are your worst symptoms right now? The ones that are causing you pain or anguish.
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The #1 biggest symptom is probably low motivation/mood and #2 would be (indirectly) how #1 affects my social skills since I have trouble socializing and feeling 'interesting' when i feel low motivation/mood. #3 would be low sex drive. My dopamine literally feels blunted.

Anxiety is also sort of a result of #1 I get anxious about low motivation. Sometimes when anxiety kicks in full force the low mood+motivation subside from the adrenaline rush.

I also get a natural improvement within the same day at night I feel a lot better. I feel good enough that I tend to stay up until like 1-2 AM which probably doesn't help lol but its just thats when I feel productive. I can't even 'remember' the depressed feeling in that state but it comes back the next day. Sometimes its almost hypomania ish at night.

Benzos also help me get a temporary antidepressant effect even though they are anti anxiety meds. Weirdly ive experimented with taking Klonopin at night and then I don't feel them the next day but if I take it in the morning then I feel it the whole day. I think my diurnal rhthym is messed up somehow.
 
My experiences are the same as yours right now by the sounds of it.

Low mood which fluctuates throughout the day. It seems at least once a day I have a sort of dip/trough in a wave which like as you put, I also can't 'remember' once I'm out of it. It's also very difficult to pinpoint why I am despairing. But it makes me anxious as it's unprovoked, confusing and overall just debilitating.

I'm also much better off at night and has been the case since the beginning.

Unlike you I've steered clear of benzos just because I've managed without and feel like they could become a crutch very quickly.

Could you please remind me what caused your affliction? I've lost the thread of how yours began.
 
8BitTrip said:
My experiences are the same as yours right now by the sounds of it.

Low mood which fluctuates throughout the day. It seems at least once a day I have a sort of dip/trough in a wave which like as you put, I also can't 'remember' once I'm out of it. It's also very difficult to pinpoint why I am despairing. But it makes me anxious as it's unprovoked, confusing and overall just debilitating.

I'm also much better off at night and has been the case since the beginning.

Unlike you I've steered clear of benzos just because I've managed without and feel like they could become a crutch very quickly.

Could you please remind me what caused your affliction? I've lost the thread of how yours began.
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I try to limit my benzo to once to twice a week. Right now im on a holiday from them. Its almost 2 weeks but I don't think I can go longer than that. My goal was 4 but its so hard to fully enjoy things and its summer vacation. Resolves most my symptoms when i take it. Agreed its a crutch as you can see once you experience that degree of relief.

MDMA caused it but it was delayed to 4-5 weeks later. I recovered from the initial comedown in a weekthinking I was out of that hellhole only to experience the problem again drinking a few weeks after.

Right now im able to drink without problems if I stay less than 3 drinks.

If Mirtazapine was helping why did you come off? Did it not help with the remaining symptoms and only helped with the more severe stuff or what?

Worst case scenario I am going to look into hormone therapies but that is still some time away.
 
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socrilus said:
I try to limit my benzo to once to twice a week. Right now im on a holiday from them. Its almost 2 weeks but I don't think I can go longer than that. My goal was 4 but its so hard to fully enjoy things and its summer vacation. Resolves most my symptoms when i take it. Agreed its a crutch as you can see once you experience that degree of relief.

MDMA caused it but it was delayed to 4-5 weeks later. I recovered from the initial comedown in a weekthinking I was out of that hellhole only to experience the problem again drinking a few weeks after.

Right now im able to drink without problems if I stay less than 3 drinks.

If Mirtazapine was helping why did you come off? Did it not help with the remaining symptoms and only helped with the more severe stuff or what?

Worst case scenario I am going to look into hormone therapies but that is still some time away.
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It sounds like you've got a handle on it which is all that matters. If you can get proper relief then I'm not surprised you take them. I tried a xanax once but it had no obvious effect on me.

Mine began delayed too, around 4-5 weeks after my last use. But was yours just a one-time thing, or was it several like my usage?

The Mirt helped earlier on but never really solved anything. It mitigated some symptoms like low mood and insomnia but these had improved somewhat now. Besides, I'd rather see them for what they are and I posit that the longer time spent on an anti-d, the more accustomed to it one gets, the more difficulty with the underlying reality one has. True or not, I'm sticking to my guns.

I can drink without too many problems also.
 
May I ask that anyone not discussing the OPs issue take their discussion into the recovery thread? This is turning into a second recovery thread which makes keeping track of what discussion is happening where hard. If you have specific questions or want to discuss issues you are experiencing you can of course always start your own thread for that purpose as well. Feel free to discuss whatever you'd like in any of those. I'm just trying to keep the forum a bit organised =D
 
Sorry BlueBull.

Ihatenotfeeling - I think you may have some more company. I talked before about how I had taken MDMA at a festival a couple weeks back and was experiencing depression but said because I have depression/anxiety normally, I couldn't really attribute it to the MDMA? Well I may have to revise that, the depression has gotten worse and has some unusual characteristics (actually getting worse in the evening which is the opposite to my normal depression). I think maybe this is due to the MDMA although I definitely can't assert that with any confidence.

Anyway am just saying this so hopefully you feel a bit less alone. Am trying to do all the things advised to you - eating well, vitamins and supplements, sleeping well, avoiding alcohol and drugs, exercising every day. I haven't tried mindfulness or any of the slightly less mainstream suggestions yet. I don't know about mindfulness, at the moment it's pretty hard to just function normally so I'm not sure it's a good time to try to learn a meditative technique.

How are you doing? Any improvement at all? I think I'm going to be in this state for a while, not getting much respite.
 
No improvement yet.. just trying to cope with feeling this miserable everyday. I feel like I'm going to be like this for a very long time and that sucks but what else can I do ? Nothing. It's a struggle to make it through the day everyday.
 
Another thing that is weird is if I do smoke weed I don't get high and if I drink I can't get drunk. I tested out both just to see. Now I'm going to just stay away from both.
 
Not a doctor obviously, but there are some theories regarding allopregnenolone--the neurosteroid.

Allopregnenolone--a neurosteroid-- is one of the things that is needed to have a response to alcohol

http://www.nature.com/npp/journal/v28/n6/full/1300170a.html

As depression recovery occurs, allopregnanolone levels should in theory go up. Allopregnenolone comes from progesterone via 5a reductase.

This is one of the reasons I don't like all the serotonin theories. Neurosteroids are a HUGE thing. There are some companies synthesizing Neurosteroid allopregnanolone analogs for treatment of depression like Ganaxolone, a GABA-A modulator.

Considering that so many people seem to have benefit with benzos which affect GABA-A, I think neurosteroids are implicated in the LTC.
 
Is it a good sign that I felt fear today ? I got the shit scared out of me by a car and that's the first time I've been scared since the mdma binge. Was anyone else not able to feel fear in the beginning with their emotional numbness ?
 
Yeah some people have reported that kind of return to emotion, even if it's the crappy emotions first.
 
Hey i know what youre going through. Im like this almost 2 years now. I took lsd and got paranoia for about 2 weeks, then i was put on antipsychotics and im taking it since then. So almost every day i have to fight to survive in this hell. No emotions, no motivation, no energy. I hope i would come off those pills soon, but its a possibillity that i have mental ilness. I hope not. How are you? Getting better?
 
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