JK25
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2017
- Messages
- 523
Thanks JK25. I think Ihatenotfeeling had binged on multiple pills for a few days. I've been wondering how many people get LTCs from a single dose. Would you advise me and everybody else not to do MDMA at all, even if properly spaced out? I mean, do you think taking a single dose of around 120mg could potentially ruin your life, at least for a few months?
I understand that everyone reacts differently, what I can't wrap my head around (and as you can tell I have no knowledge of the neurophysiology involved) is how MDMA can deplete all serotonin in everybody that takes it but that most people feel fine afterwards. I don't understand how you can feel fine with NO serotonin.
Anyway sorry to ask these questions in your threat ihatenotfeeling. I really hope you're doing better. A lot of us take things too far sometimes, but the punishment here definitely does not fit the crime. I'm really sure you're going to recover. The worst thing about depression (whether brought on by drugs or just occurring naturally) is that there is no immediate relief from it. William Styron wrote very beautifully and clearly about this in his memoir of depression. It's such a terrible thing, to be in so much pain and to be told that relief is months away, when you need relief right this second! Believe me, I understand that all too well.
Let me share a little secret with you. I still drink 20mg Prozac capsules and have been every day for 13 years now because of what so many MDMA trips, 8-12 pills a night every weekend for 4 months did to me. I have never been the same. I now suffer from whatever the brain's influence on my experience of reality is having in making me "depressed" for lack of a better word other than quoting this psychiatric "science" calls it. But I'm up and down. Bi-Polar whatever you want to call it, one minute I am blowing thousands in 5 minutes on shit at the Sandton City Mall's Louis Vuitton store, I mean I even told them once just get me a size 9 of every shoe you have here and bought it all, fucking manic and all bug-eyed and hyped up on the Dopamine release...20 minutes later I was crying my eyes out in the car in the parking lot with my chauffeur throwing Valiums down my throat.
Dude, MDMA ruined me for a whole couple of years (also involved were outside psychological influences and variables like losing my high school first love ever among others), still the bruxism never went away completely and now since I clench my teeth mad. But you know what...those 4 months WERE THE BEST OF MY LIFE THUS FAR. I will not go back and do anything differently. MDMA is truly magical. Fuck Heroin as "the ultimate in pleasure that the brain can process". MDMA is the best. I tried to replicate a trip maybe 4 or so years ago. I bought 12 pills, drank 6 and felt NOTHING after 45min, drank the other 6. Yawned for the next 30 minutes and then just left it and went to bed. DUDE, on 3000mg of a phynelthylazine derivative stimulant I just fell asleep. It should not be medically possible.
So yes dude. Use MDMA, but use it on very special occasions with people you truly love. Don't overdo it and lose the magic, I've lost that magic and nothing makes me more depressed than thinking I will not experience my favourite drugs' effect ever again.
Use it and experience its magic, just don't lose that magic. I envy you, you can still have access to that state and I don't, really I am jealous.