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MDMA, permanent damage/change?? Help!!

With mdma and Methamphetamine SSRIS basically almost never work, this is coming from a guy with personal experience and i have talked to some psychiatrists that specialize in mdma/meth problems.

In my own experience mood can return to semi-normal. Cognitive function usually recovers much less at 50-70%, but theres no way to know what you would of been had you never taken it.

The fact you drank alcohol heavily during your brains recovery period from mdma is very unfortunate and probably what did you in. I did something similair taking alot of dexedrine after doing mdma one week and im sure thats what did it.
 
Yeah I think the alcohol after the concussion really did some damage, but the psychiatrist tends to differ.. I believe that with the help of some nootropics and slot of dedication to school (no partying etc) I think I'd be able to regain my cognitive abilities, and hopefully the SSRIs induce some kind of neurogenesis along with the other neurogenesis aids I'm currently using. I hope my recovery to my old self isn't to optimistically speaking.
 
I have expierenced a similiar expierence, and if yours is anything like mine its going to take a little while to get better. I would recommend not doing any drug, not even marijuana. Just try to eat right, excerise, drink a lot of water. Eventually your body will fix itself (the most it can). I can understand the shit your going through right now man, but dont let it get to you. Stay strong :/
 
Would you say your back to your old self? Like thinking/acting wise? I can't even enjoy drinking anymore, I use to live for it, now I just get depressed when I drink because I use to be so mch more lively..
 
somedud said:
I used ecstacy 11 times in three months( basically every weekend), averageing about 30 pills, and suffered a pretty intense concussion (knocked out) on half a hit the third last weekend I rolled. Then drank heavily for a week after the concussion and ate 2 more pills exactly a week after, and had a horrible trip(broke up with gf while on it) and lost my mind, felt like my brain was burning for hours. I suffered serve anxiety and some very intense (chronic) stress and anxiety about this girl and my whole perception of life changing followed by depression for about 2 months after. Its been exactly three months (thought I was psychotic) since my last hit and Im slightly better. Appetie is still low, and cant sleep without a sleeping aid. I feel extremely stupid, and my memory is horrible, still, and am still depressed. I use to have a great understanding of things with very rushed out quick intelligent thoughts, and now im very dull, no opinions or thoughts towards anything, and in generel feel retarded, very hard to even spell certian words. Low comprehension, and in turn im stressed that I will not be able to continue my university in a months time. I feel like the chronic stressed deterioatd my brain, I was feeling very hopeless for months and was spiraling downward and panicing.

Has anyone experienced this? and also will my memory improve, and also will my intelligence/understanding and abstract thinking return or is it gone? if so, how LONG do you figure? Also, my personality if veryyy different following this experience, is that permantly changed aswell? I feel very introvereted compared to being very outgoing and extraverted before, no stories to tell or imput on any topics, as apposed to being very talkative and outgoing/joyful.

P.S Im taking SSRI's (just started) is this a bad idea? aswell I used quite frequently in the past but has separated intervals and never experienced any bad sides.

Thanks.
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Damn sounds like you fucked yourself over big time. The binge drinking definitely gave you some permanent brain damage.
Lol'd at "and in general feel retarded"
 
when ive taken to much mdma or mda in the past years ago i have suffered things at the time on it like short term memory loss, forgetting conversations with people while im talking etc. it usually comes back to me after a little while. you seriously need to have a nice break from all drugs if you can, including alcohol and smoking weed, and just lookafteryourself, eat plenty of healthy food and make you get lots of rest. that is the best you can do for yourself
 
Mate the concept of listening to people here who are suggesting you stop your doctor prescribed medication is just ludicrous.

Nobody here is a doctor and those who are cannot offer you accurate advice over the internet.

Do NOT stop any prescribed medications without consulting your doctor.

DO stop using any non prescribed drugs including mdma weed and anything else.

DO get plenty of exercise sleep and good food and you will be well on the way to recovery.
 
Thanks for the posts guys. I hope I return, the docter also just perscribed me to 100 mg of Seroquel to be taken at night time.. I don't know what to think about all these pills plus supplements.
 
theonex said:
I'd say this is very important.

I went thru a very similar situation as you. I did not take as many pills, but November of last year I went on an every-weekend rolling binge. What resulted was exactly as you described - memory loss, creativity loss, loss of quick response, depression, social awkwardness, loss of appetite, etc.

For the next few months, despite many people on this website swearing that these effects would reverse with time, I did not see much improvement.

It's been a year now though, and I feel way better. Not quite 100% back to normal. But maybe 80%? Which is much better than I imagined, considering I rolled twice this year. I definitly see myself improving back to 100% within the next year.

What I believed helped me the most were: maintaining a positive attitude 24/7, staying social + seeing friends often, forcing myself to think, talk, and use my brain, taking 5-htp in moderation, taking a good multivitamin, getting back into weightlifting and dieting, stopped smoking cigarettes, drank less alcohol, stopped smoking weed, forcing myself to be productive, etc. etc.

From my experience, I think that cigarettes, weed, and alcohol are the biggest factors in delaying the time needed for your brain to recover.

I didn't totally cut out booze, but I cut out weed for a few months. Helped dramatically. Just give it some time for your brain to get better, then smoke again.
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This is very good advice.

I went through an experience similar to the original poster in my mid twentys and had a breakdown after alot of MDMA, cannabis and stimulant abuse. The symptoms were the exact same as the original poster, eventually i was scared to start to say anything in social situations because of the fear of forgetting what i was saying mid sentence or not remembering place or people names. I was then prescribed an anti depressant, which then moved on to another stronger AD after the first stopped working ...... After about 8 years of constantly increasing the dosage I abruptly stopped the AD's and went through a month of hell. I would not advise stopping SSRI's abruptly, it was a stupid way to stop however i had been on them for years and was just sick to death of having the crutch. The SSRI's were needed at the beginning however try to stop taking them with the help of your doctor as soon as possible.

I now drink in moderation and feel that the sharpness has come back very slowly, the mid sentence panic attacks have gone:) The real healing only started once I was off the SSRI so above all try to stay healthy and once you feel strong enough talk to your doctor and gradually lower the dose.

One final thought, I don't think MDMA was alone in the damage, daily cannabis abuse did me no favours also and abstinence from that really helps the memory
 
Dude! Take a fucking break. They're just drugs. thats what drugs do, they fuck with your head and adding more shit ontop of that to control side effects of other drugs wont bring you back to normal. Just chill for a bit.
 
I'm no psychologist, but I can say without a doubt that you are too preoccupied with the idea that you might not return to your former state of mind; that you have caused permanent damage to yourself. You don't like the possibility that you may have changed for the worse and that there's nothing you can do about it.

I'm familiar with the feeling; I've felt the exact same way after rolling too hard even after smoking way too much pot, and I can really sympathize with how the feeling sticks with you for days and (in your case months) afterward. However, Once you've convinced yourself that something like this is permanent or out of your control then it truly is permanent and out of your control. The fact that your emotional state is helter skelter from a drug binge makes it near impossible to avoid falling into this thought cycle so don't beat yourself up over thinking negatively.

I'm here to tell you that you choose the person you want to be every second of every day. If you are convinced you are a different person now, then you are a different person now. If you are intent on a change, you will change. Anyone who has reinvented themselves or made a significant life change (losing weight, being social, whatever) can tell you this, and they're right.
 
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" suffered a pretty intense concussion (knocked out) on half a hit the third last weekend I rolled. Then drank heavily for a week after the concussion"

Drinking after a concussion is TERRIBLE.
 
I personally think if you stop taking ecstasy you'll be completely fine.just dont take it anymore, thats what i did. And I feel fine, for the most part.
 
somedud said:
I used ecstacy 11 times in three months( basically every weekend), averageing about 30 pills, and suffered a pretty intense concussion (knocked out) on half a hit the third last weekend I rolled. Then drank heavily for a week after the concussion and ate 2 more pills exactly a week after, and had a horrible trip(broke up with gf while on it) and lost my mind, felt like my brain was burning for hours. I suffered serve anxiety and some very intense (chronic) stress and anxiety about this girl and my whole perception of life changing followed by depression for about 2 months after. Its been exactly three months (thought I was psychotic) since my last hit and Im slightly better. Appetie is still low, and cant sleep without a sleeping aid. I feel extremely stupid, and my memory is horrible, still, and am still depressed. I use to have a great understanding of things with very rushed out quick intelligent thoughts, and now im very dull, no opinions or thoughts towards anything, and in generel feel retarded, very hard to even spell certian words. Low comprehension, and in turn im stressed that I will not be able to continue my university in a months time. I feel like the chronic stressed deterioatd my brain, I was feeling very hopeless for months and was spiraling downward and panicing.

Has anyone experienced this? and also will my memory improve, and also will my intelligence/understanding and abstract thinking return or is it gone? if so, how LONG do you figure? Also, my personality if veryyy different following this experience, is that permantly changed aswell? I feel very introvereted compared to being very outgoing and extraverted before, no stories to tell or imput on any topics, as apposed to being very talkative and outgoing/joyful.

P.S Im taking SSRI's (just started) is this a bad idea? aswell I used quite frequently in the past but has separated intervals and never experienced any bad sides.

Thanks.
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why would you use so much, especially after it loses its "magic"
 
Hey there so how's everything going so far? I hope you're already feeling better. I just wanted to get an update from you since I just got a case of bad anxiety from MDMA use too for me it's been 2 months and I'm still feeling the anxiety. I think I can deal with the depression but getting up every morning for work feeling the trembles and my chest heating up is really taking it's toll.
 
have u ever considered that u have PCS (post concussion syndrome)????...it usually starts a week after u get the concussion and is more likely the more severe ur concussion is...knocked out for 20+ min is a long ass time...the symptoms r everything u describe and they can last for months. highly doubt it was bc u rolled, but u can attribute it to whatever u want.
 
I considered that, but I know it was the roll, the feeling during the roll stuck with me for months. It's was frightening , plus I'm 7 months post and its still going on.
 
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