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MDMA damage - need some help fast

sorry to heard that man :( i think MDMA trigged some illness in you... this could happen with other drugs easy !

i hope you get better ! best of luck
 
Guys. Checking in again.

Sadly, not much has changed since I last posted. Same symptoms and no progress. I hate living like this but what choice do I have? Sink or swim. I'll swim but I've got an anchor attached to both ankles, that's the problem.

Exercise certainly helps but it's easy to slip out of routine. The absolute exhaustion also makes it impossibly difficult sometimes.

If this was PTSD would taking pure MDMA again help? Rick Doblin has been a great advocate of using MDMA to treat PTSD patients.

In all seriousness what I have seems to more than just in my head. Take my memory for instance, often I find myself searching around for a word or a name, one which I know very well, but is impossibly hard to find. Or learning people's names or particular words. Sometimes I find myself having to re-learn the name/word 4 times before it sticks. I have to consciously remember it, whereas before I wouldn't, it'd just stick, if not right away, the second time of asking.

Symptoms like that point to neurotoxicity of some kind I feel. I am not giving up though, I will not be beaten no matter how hard it is.
 
Thanks for the words of encouragement Zebrafish. Life is very tough now I'm not going to lie. Mentally I am a lot slower. Like if I'm at work thinking through what I need to do I'll rather easily lose my train of thought, although I do eventually remember what I was thinking about, but working through stuff in my head is far more challenging than it used to be/ought to be. I now have multiple times during the day where I can't remember someone's name, someone that I know. Generally I do remember the name but it can take a bit of time which is seriously frustrating. I find going through the alphabet helps when I can't remember outright.

Aside from the memory problems, the extreme fatigue and social anxiety are killers. I get tired so so easily now and it's tiredness that extends right into my muscles, it's very different to a normal feeling of tiredness. My body just lacks power.

Socially I find it a lot more difficult to interact. I get very nervous very easily and at times I can find it hard to make eye contact. In some situations I can also noticeably feel my lip quiver (although nobody seems to notice thank god).

Emotionally I feel a lot less connected too. I used to love watching football (soccer), and still do, but I don't get the same euphoria and enjoyment out of it which is a real shame.

I've just started a new job which has added some more stress to the situation and my symptoms make it ridiculously tough at times. But I will not give up! Never!

I'm on some medication yes, 150mg pregabalin x 2 per day (I would have bad insomnia without it) and 20mg Paroxetine. I'm also taking some Neurozan, fish capsules and 5HTP for an extra boost. I tried going without medication for a while but the symptoms became too unbearable that I had to get something.

I believe all my symptoms point to a damaged serotonin system, it doesn't take a genius to work that out based on what I took that night. I've asked my doctor to do a PET scan but they refused and don't think it's likely to show anything. I may go for a second opinion because surely if one test was to pick up something serotonin related was wrong, then it's that.

Sorry for the ramble, my life is incredibly frustrating at the moment, and very sad in many ways.
 
Hey Shambha,

I noticed in your first post you mentioned that you noticed your symptoms after the summer was over and you went back to university. Do you think your symptoms started at that point, or did they start earlier and you just didn't notice them?

As far as your fatigue, I'm assuming you have had general blood work done, and everything is normal? One thing you may not have done is an endocrinological workup. There are some studies that state MDMA can acutely increase your cortisol levels (one study said cortisol increases up to 800% during MDMA), which may lead to pituitary burnout. Moreover, serotonin fibers are quite prevalent in the hypothalamus, and the hypothalamus controls the pituitary, so a serotonergic injury to the hypothalamus may also result in pituitary dysfunction. The can lead to a defiency in one or several hormones that may be affecting your energy levels, including cortisol, thyroid, and testosterone. I would check these if you have not done so, as they are pretty easy deficiencies to fix. Specifically you should check an AM cortisol level, TSH, T3, free T4, LH, FSH, and testosterone levels.

Are you taking pregabalin for insomnia? Its pretty atypical to use it for insomnia, and it may even be exacerbating your fatigue. Pregabalin is often used for neuropathic pain or fibromyalgia type conditions.

Also, decrease serotonin levels may be associated with increased sensitivity to pain and fatigue, so that you are no more fatigued than usual, but you feel it more.

As far as getting a PET scan, you would have to get a PET scan with a radiolabeled tracer that binds to SERT receptors, which is a test that is not widely available. Doctors are trained to not order tests if it will not change their management. If the PET scan demonstrated that you have decreased serotonin fiber density, what would you do differently with that information? Probably nothing more than you are doing now.

Take care Shambha. I hope things get better for you. No one deserves what you have gone through.
 
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