LSD-cure depression in bipolar disorder.

[exxplorer]

Hello everyone, so I don't really knew where to put this thread, but ok, in "psychedelics" I think it's fine.
So to explain the situation, since a really long long time I'm used to switch between "feeling too much, too good", or "entering into a deep depression" with substances abuse (it could also happen when I'm ''good'', because of disinhibition, something we need to pay attention at).
I have a long history of substances abuse, heroin, crack..mostly, but I came out of all of this, still with just as little as 25mg Methadone now (I think it's just there so that I have something (semi-placebo), don't really need it as I used to need it when I was put on Methadone at 75mg; for example I can forget to take it on day, without any disconfort, and take half of my dose the next day and still be fine, but ok I don't do that often, it just happens haha.

So yeah because of this severe mood swings (they said I'm bipolar with anxiety disorder related to PTSD..fine..but it doesn't help me to know that), all right I can see why I'm strange at this day, I think everyone is a bit strange, no? Everyone has is life experience, a unique vision of Reality..
They tried a lot of medications, nothing really worked, I was just unable to think clearly (Quetiapine/Seroquel &Co), coupled with benzos, or I was on the edge of severe anxiety (worse than without SSRI, for example, just to mention that, and the lost of libido, I don't think it's a good way to try to feel better, if you have to say goodbye to sex) the only thing that helped (maybe) at some point was Bupropion; but I quit all of these, it was not a funny time, I still use benzos at low dosage.
So you have a vision of my situation.
Now, I know I have a panic disorder/panic attacks, on witch I'm working to manage it better and better, mostly related to my "ill' mood, if I can say it like that.

Here comes the question, I have seen at several times, that when I consume LSD, I'm really good for days, weeks and sometimes months after the initial trip.
I mean, no anxiety, no mania or depression, just a "normal being human" (and it doesn't erase my creativity like the drugs they gave me, it's all the opposit, and I need it, I mean I always painted and wrote a lot, played a lot of music, all of that vanished with neuroleptics, and I missed that a lot).
I tried to microdose, but honestly I always took a bit much than a "microdose", but still a low dose (like 30-50ug).
And it is working really great, I use it at times when I'm prepared to it, maybe once in a 3 to 4 months period, but I think if I really wanted all the goods it can give me, I may have to took it once all 2 months maybe.

I'm so sad it's illegal, because I finally found something that helps me greatly (without being a useless man), with the help of psychedelics I almost quit benzos, it also helped me while I was taking brown and C, like a "refresh" button.

Do other people suffering from same conditions or related and who also find psychedelics to be a great helper ?
Really, I tried a lot of medications, and finally I see that taking minimal doses of LSD once in a while helps me a lot, shame that this therapy is not conventional, I think it could help many others.
Of course everyone reacts differently, so I don't recommend to someone to do the same, maybe it will be worse...it is a double edge.

And yes another question, I never had "return" of lsd-like effect, I mean I never had a "bad flashback" or something, but today I'm feeling like I just took acid, but yes I took a really low dose yesterday, but really I went out with that space-head so familiar with LSD, maybe I have gained a normal tolerance to it again, I was used to take big trips, regularly, and I knew I had to take more than most others because of tolerance, now I should be at baseline, great .

Thanks for reading!

 

[Zephyn]

it used to, when i was younger. still not sure if im bipolar as i'm still leveling out from some extreme drug abuse. i noticed it making more more paranoid as I got older, im not sure if it would help with the depression the same. scared to try it. but it kept me afloat for nearly ten years

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

LSD and other psychedelic drugs are not good for bipolar, manic depression, mania/hypo-mania. It will just mess up your brain chemistry and it will be twice as bad when you eventually go into a psychotic state, or when you go into a depressive state it makes you non-functioning or I saw my friends become almost catatonic.

I know multiple people who are bipolar who tried using LSD, mushrooms, MDMA, and pot, as well as other drugs, instead of meds prescribed by a medical doctor or psychiatrist, sadly they all got worse and some killed themselves.

 

[Buzz Lightbeer]

Hello everyone, so I don't really knew where to put this thread, but ok, in "psychedelics" I think it's fine.
So to explain the situation, since a really long long time I'm used to switch between "feeling too much, too good", or "entering into a deep depression" with substances abuse (it could also happen when I'm ''good'', because of disinhibition, something we need to pay attention at).
I have a long history of substances abuse, heroin, crack..mostly, but I came out of all of this, still with just as little as 25mg Methadone now (I think it's just there so that I have something (semi-placebo), don't really need it as I used to need it when I was put on Methadone at 75mg; for example I can forget to take it on day, without any disconfort, and take half of my dose the next day and still be fine, but ok I don't do that often, it just happens haha.

So yeah because of this severe mood swings (they said I'm bipolar with anxiety disorder related to PTSD..fine..but it doesn't help me to know that), all right I can see why I'm strange at this day, I think everyone is a bit strange, no? Everyone has is life experience, a unique vision of Reality..
They tried a lot of medications, nothing really worked, I was just unable to think clearly (Quetiapine/Seroquel &Co), coupled with benzos, or I was on the edge of severe anxiety (worse than without SSRI, for example, just to mention that, and the lost of libido, I don't think it's a good way to try to feel better, if you have to say goodbye to sex) the only thing that helped (maybe) at some point was Bupropion; but I quit all of these, it was not a funny time, I still use benzos at low dosage.
So you have a vision of my situation.
Now, I know I have a panic disorder/panic attacks, on witch I'm working to manage it better and better, mostly related to my "ill' mood, if I can say it like that.

Here comes the question, I have seen at several times, that when I consume LSD, I'm really good for days, weeks and sometimes months after the initial trip.
I mean, no anxiety, no mania or depression, just a "normal being human" (and it doesn't erase my creativity like the drugs they gave me, it's all the opposit, and I need it, I mean I always painted and wrote a lot, played a lot of music, all of that vanished with neuroleptics, and I missed that a lot).
I tried to microdose, but honestly I always took a bit much than a "microdose", but still a low dose (like 30-50ug).
And it is working really great, I use it at times when I'm prepared to it, maybe once in a 3 to 4 months period, but I think if I really wanted all the goods it can give me, I may have to took it once all 2 months maybe.

I'm so sad it's illegal, because I finally found something that helps me greatly (without being a useless man), with the help of psychedelics I almost quit benzos, it also helped me while I was taking brown and C, like a "refresh" button.

Do other people suffering from same conditions or related and who also find psychedelics to be a great helper ?
Really, I tried a lot of medications, and finally I see that taking minimal doses of LSD once in a while helps me a lot, shame that this therapy is not conventional, I think it could help many others.
Of course everyone reacts differently, so I don't recommend to someone to do the same, maybe it will be worse...it is a double edge.

And yes another question, I never had "return" of lsd-like effect, I mean I never had a "bad flashback" or something, but today I'm feeling like I just took acid, but yes I took a really low dose yesterday, but really I went out with that space-head so familiar with LSD, maybe I have gained a normal tolerance to it again, I was used to take big trips, regularly, and I knew I had to take more than most others because of tolerance, now I should be at baseline, great .

Thanks for reading!

Hello
First of all, I'll say that your post reads like a fairly (hypo)manic message, you should be aware your depression isn't gone or cured, you just went the other way.
I am bipolar most likely but mainly with hypomanic periods. I'd be careful and never dose very high, I went psychotic myself not so long ago on a high-ish dose of a lysergamide, this could be potentially life threatening and not only to yourself.
In my experience one of two things happens when I trip when depressed: I swing into a hypomanic episode (I'll probably insist I'm just feeling great) or I am unable to escape the dark emptiness and I have a terrible trip. It's not a sustainable help against your depression, and it'll probably come to bite you at some point. I understand not wanting to cut psychedelics out of your life (I'm guilty of this myself) but be careful and don't overdo it. It's not the magic cure at all, they're drugs and should be used as such, forget many of the so called benefits because they'll often be clouded by the delusions of (hypo)mania. Obviously not being depressed anymore is a big + but it won't always be like that.

Hope your day ended as great good luck!! You're always welcome to come share stuff

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Hello
First of all, I'll say that your post reads like a fairly (hypo)manic message, you should be aware your depression isn't gone or cured, you just went the other way.
I am bipolar most likely but mainly with hypomanic periods. I'd be careful and never dose very high, I went psychotic myself not so long ago on a high-ish dose of a lysergamide, this could be potentially life threatening and not only to yourself.
In my experience one of two things happens when I trip when depressed: I swing into a hypomanic episode (I'll probably insist I'm just feeling great) or I am unable to escape the dark emptiness and I have a terrible trip. It's not a sustainable help against your depression, and it'll probably come to bite you at some point. I understand not wanting to cut psychedelics out of your life (I'm guilty of this myself) but be careful and don't overdo it. It's not the magic cure at all, they're drugs and should be used as such, forget many of the so called benefits because they'll often be clouded by the delusions of (hypo)mania. Obviously not being depressed anymore is a big + but it won't always be like that.

Hope your day ended as great good luck!! You're always welcome to come share stuff

Since you are hypomanic at times, what is hypomania like for you? Or what are the symptoms of it? I know it is not like mania.

 

[Buzz Lightbeer]

Since you are hypomanic at times, what is hypomania like for you?

I'm hypomanic right now probably, a lot of energy, increased self esteem, talking really fast, a racing mind (I've been solving chess puzzles, sudokus, watching True Detective season 1 -> highly recommended and refreshing Bluelight for a long time). I know I can't sleep (3:30am here) so I'm tiring myself out mentally and I don't want to take a benzo. If I was allowed to go out I'd go for an epicly long walk.
I'm still very sane and most people wouldn't suspect a thing. True mania is a whole different ballgame from what I understand, I've skirted the edges when I haven't slept at all but generally nowhere close.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

I'm hypomanic right now probably, a lot of energy, increased self esteem, talking really fast, a racing mind (I've been solving chess puzzles, sudokus, watching True Detective season 1 -> highly recommended and refreshing Bluelight for a long time). I know I can't sleep (3:30am here) so I'm tiring myself out mentally and I don't want to take a benzo. If I was allowed to go out I'd go for an epicly long walk.
I'm still very sane and most people wouldn't suspect a thing. True mania is a whole different ballgame from what I understand, I've skirted the edges when I haven't slept at all but generally nowhere close.

My friends who are manic go into psychosis and see or experience things that did not happen such as seeing people who are not there, thinking they will change the world, that people are stalking or spying on them, or that close relatives sexually abused them when this did not happen at all, etc. They also stop eating, do not sleep for days, and some spend lots of money and go into massive debt. :-\

 

[Buzz Lightbeer]

Yes, none of that for me. Hopefully never. It's a fairly high functioning state. Honestly it's only really developing over the last two years, I'm a massive noob in the department

 

[pupnik]

@exxplorer
the psychiatric terms elude me somewhat, but I think why this is sort of working for you in a positive way is because you are and have been an artist.
your personality embraces the lsd as a reward.
it is one for a person of your abilities.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

@exxplorer
the psychiatric terms elude me somewhat, but I think why this is sort of working for you in a positive way is because you are and have been an artist.
your personality embraces the lsd as a reward.
it is one for a person of your abilities.

That's not how psychedelic drugs or mania/hypomania, or being bipolar work or what they are like.

If it were true that idiot Tim Leary, the McKennas, and Sham Dass would have been an artists and not druggie burnouts.

 

[exxplorer]

Thanks you all for your answers, it's exactly what I was thinking about you would told me, not a really nice choice, but .. for now it really helps me, can't explain it, it takes me out of depression, and calms down my mania (@Buzz Lightbeer you are right, I could feeling it coming, yes I "switched", well done haha).

I really think at low doses, it "may" "sometimes" "for some people" (yes a lot of """"), it could help manage a state of sadness, just by being more open an aware of people (and possibilities) around you (because if I'm feeling bad, I also suffer for anxiety and some paranoia) and this goes away because I Am Put To Look At Them, I see all the people, walking trough the street, relaxed, and I'm no longer afraid of nothing.

Thanks again, I will think about it more deeply

​

 

[Zephyn]

Thanks you all for your answers, it's exactly what I was thinking about you would told me, not a really nice choice, but .. for now it really helps me, can't explain it, it takes me out of depression, and calms down my mania (@Buzz Lightbeer you are right, I could feeling it coming, yes I "switched", well done haha).

I really think at low doses, it "may" "sometimes" "for some people" (yes a lot of """"), it could help manage a state of sadness, just by being more open an aware of people (and possibilities) around you (because if I'm feeling bad, I also suffer for anxiety and some paranoia) and this goes away because I Am Put To Look At Them, I see all the people, walking trough the street, relaxed, and I'm no longer afraid of nothing.

Thanks again, I will think about it more deeply

​

What do you call a low dose?

 

[exxplorer]

Since you are hypomanic at times, what is hypomania like for you? Or what are the symptoms of it? I know it is not like mania.

Symptoms are stupid decisions, like buying drug I can't afford (or anything else..), thinking too fast and I can't really put my ideas on words, it just goes to fast, also I do a lot of project I previously had and spend hours on it (painting and so yes but also coding, cracking,...).
I don't sleep much, like 3h are much enough, also during that time I'm mostly coding for the moment.
It seems that I speak to "crude", I have had many bad stories in my life, I've found my cousin dead while child, I found my neighboor dead at my home, 2 years ago, I have no "sad" vision of dead (or I would be depressed all the time), I laught about it, about the prison vacancy I had for nothing (literally, there was Nothing against me, just one person saying shit about me, when my neighboor died, I so it goes..). And I don't care about that, as I said I take it all with a lot of irony, derision.
Maybe it's not "sane", maybe I became a bit insane, maybe I always was.
It seems I talk about such things in a "strange" way, has I said, I'm laughing about things, people thinking I'm crazy (they are right maybe, surely).
I go into works in chemistry, and I just talk too much about my works (coding, chemistry) and I don't realize people just don't follow what I say, and when they do, I better had to shut my mouth !!
Can't explain more, don't really want to right now.
I think it's enough.

Why asking?

 

[exxplorer]

My friends who are manic go into psychosis and see or experience things that did not happen such as seeing people who are not there, thinking they will change the world, that people are stalking or spying on them, or that close relatives sexually abused them when this did not happen at all, etc. They also stop eating, do not sleep for days, and some spend lots of money and go into massive debt. :-\

Hi, I had such things when I firstly stopped Quetiapine cold turkey form 600 or 400 mg (depending of days) to 0.
It scared me so much (real hallucination like seeing laser beam in my house..and more) I took 200mg again for some times after that, then slowly down to 100 and finally 50 mg..
And I had such things also while on it, but really don't often (seeing people who aren't there for example), this all stopped.
Now it's far more manageable, I'm not as crazy as I used to be, if I can say that, like @Buzz Lightbeer said, it's about like him

@Zephyn has I wrote, between 30 and 50 ug. But in fact I always want to take a bit less like 20 ug, but always take a bit more, but not that much, right?

 

[Buzz Lightbeer]

LSD is very stimulating and euphoric, hence it can induce somewhat manic states for bipolar people.
I remember reading that mescaline is actually the most prone to inducing (hypo)mania. Have you tried shrooms for alleviating depression symptoms? I recall having read a study that had very positive effects for many without necessarily switching the other way. Of course I understand that shrooms miss that fairly amazing flow and confidence that acid gives....

Now it's far more manageable, I'm not as crazy as I used to be, if I can say that, like @Buzz Lightbeer said, it's about like him

Anyway, a seeming passion for psychedelics, bipolar, coding and Belgian? You might just be me

 

[exxplorer]

LSD is very stimulating and euphoric, hence it can induce somewhat manic states for bipolar people.
I remember reading that mescaline is actually the most prone to inducing (hypo)mania. Have you tried shrooms for alleviating depression symptoms? I recall having read a study that had very positive effects for many without necessarily switching the other way. Of course I understand that shrooms miss that fairly amazing flow and confidence that acid gives....

Anyway, a seeming passion for psychedelics, bipolar, coding and Belgian? You might just be me

Haha, who knows who we really are?
I feel it in the same way, when you say it it prone to induce some mania, I thought a long time about it, if it was that particular aspect that "help" me (mostly when I'm depressed, so it could be logic).
And for the shrooms, I used to have grow boxes, in fact before taking such a lot of acid (but this is over) I took only shrooms, and I had such a bad trip as I never had in my life, and I know most of my anxiety came from that special moment, where the dark side and the bright side became the same, melting in a new reality...
The first time I took a "normal" dose of acid, was long after that, in a forest in spring, with my two best friends (one took it with me), I was asking myself "is it really a good idea (I was so bad I tried suicide by overdose brown) but it couldn't be worse did I told me", and it somehow delivered me of a really painful life, I saw God in everything, and I felt so respectful tu be part of Live.
It changed my life, I may not be there right now.
EDIT: after that "bad trip" on shrooms I stopped completely all psychedelics, reduced my weed consumption to minimal (night).
I was really afraid of mushrooms during a long long time, now I still see them like the "unknown trip" because it can get really introspective.
Note: as exemple, I'm writing the begining and the end of my sentence and forgive to write the middle of it, so I have to read me again, that's another aspect of what I have, ideas goes too fast..

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Symptoms are stupid decisions, like buying drug I can't afford (or anything else..), thinking too fast and I can't really put my ideas on words, it just goes to fast, also I do a lot of project I previously had and spend hours on it (painting and so yes but also coding, cracking,...).
I don't sleep much, like 3h are much enough, also during that time I'm mostly coding for the moment.
It seems that I speak to "crude", I have had many bad stories in my life, I've found my cousin dead while child, I found my neighboor dead at my home, 2 years ago, I have no "sad" vision of dead (or I would be depressed all the time), I laught about it, about the prison vacancy I had for nothing (literally, there was Nothing against me, just one person saying shit about me, when my neighboor died, I so it goes..). And I don't care about that, as I said I take it all with a lot of irony, derision.
Maybe it's not "sane", maybe I became a bit insane, maybe I always was.
It seems I talk about such things in a "strange" way, has I said, I'm laughing about things, people thinking I'm crazy (they are right maybe, surely).
I go into works in chemistry, and I just talk too much about my works (coding, chemistry) and I don't realize people just don't follow what I say, and when they do, I better had to shut my mouth !!
Can't explain more, don't really want to right now.
I think it's enough.

Why asking?

I am asking as a friend of mine becomes hypomanic and he will have trouble sleeping and buys things that he does not really need, and does not eat food.

 

[Zephyn]

I get like that too (spending all my money and shit). Psychedelics might make me manic enough to be impulsive enough to do another drug like stimulants that actually induce the sort of manic state you are discussing. I'm still not sure if I'm bipolar - even though I've been diagnosed before (neither is the last psychiatrist I saw) because drugs have always been involved in manic or psychotic states. Sober, I just suffer from depression.

 

[exxplorer]

I get like that too (spending all my money and shit). Psychedelics might make me manic enough to be impulsive enough to do another drug like stimulants that actually induce the sort of manic state you are discussing. I'm still not sure if I'm bipolar - even though I've been diagnosed before (neither is the last psychiatrist I saw) because drugs have always been involved in manic or psychotic states. Sober, I just suffer from depression.

I firstly was exactly the same, only while high (on watherver drug) I got manic without first realising I was doing that just to avoid depression.
Even brown (witch is a depressant and should not put you as "good" as with stimulant, in fact it should be the contrary) would put me in a manic state, even being aggressive and potentially really "dangerous" (stories I don't wanna remember and less so to explain), and I'm not like that, I'm deeply compassionate, feeling maybe too much close to people and being hypersensitive, I just can't explain reactions I had while on drugs sometimes (before, I'm really better now, this is over!).
All right every drug don't make me manic, but most do, I think because of disinhibition first, and stimulants are more prone to put you on a manic state of course.
It's not easy to know if we are "bipolar" (and this definition is vague), but with time you can (firstly) know when your are in a depressive (ok it's easy) or manic state, then you can tell when it "switches", you just feel it.
It's hard to explain, really.

 

[Zephyn]

I wonder if dosing the lsd with a large dose of a benzo would still be effective at mediating depression for a week or a few, with less risk of mania (in a bipolar patient). (Obviously it would ruin a lot of the effects of lsd especially at a low dose, but I always noticed you still get some effect and afterglow, albeit diminished, but much calmer and benzos are antimanic). Actually I have an experience with that. When I was younger an ex had bipolar for sure, long time diagnosed, when she would take lsd eventually everytime she would lose her mind (enjoying it but totally detached from reality and everyone else). Looking back on it, she was in a manic psychosis. We discovered that by taking half a mg of clonazepam with it prevented that