• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Kratom Addiction/ Need Help After Withdrawals Are Over

You helped me too, Pods. 5 days kratom free. Was afraid I'd lose my job at the hospital on the first few days. CT after 12 g powder (never extracts) daily for at least 3 yrs.
You've got the insight. It's time for you to care for you now bro.

Even just 5 days in and the light at the end of the tunnel is glorious.

I am an addict. Always will be. But I am also 36 yrs young. And I don't want to look back.... I WON'T look back at my life in despair.

I feel I am ready for the long road ahead. I won't tolerate or rationalize any set backs at this point.

My friends deserve more. My family deserves more. I deserve more. And you do too!
You are loved amigo, whether you know it or not, for all you've done for people like me. We ALL want you to succeed.
Best.
-G
 
Pods, how goes it? As one on/off with Kratom for years, as well as AA, I can't help but wonder. You've had some sage advice in this thread.....wishing you the best.
 
Well guys, I'm reviving this old thread I've known and loved for so long, ever since a few days after the OP started it. I know many here are stuck on kratom. I was stuck on poppy pods. Then did a taper, quit, and got addicted to kratom. Then I did a taper, quit and was off and on with kratom for a year or better.

Last couple months I've been on a fast downward spiral. Started getting drunk here and there. (I'm an alcoholic and an opiate addict and a benzo addict.) Then I got some pods and went up from kratom to pods. Started drinking more and more. Using more and more pods, more and more often. Starting taking my sleep med in the morning with my k-pin so I could be nice and benzoed while I was on the poppy pods. And then I'd drink myself to sleep because I wanted to keep those(prescribed) benzos in supply until refill time.

Man, I hope this is bottom. I've been more miserable than I thought was possible for a while now. In a few hours, I'm heading in for a 5-7 day medical detox.

First couple times I "quit" I always held on at least to my prescription. But I can't handle it anymore.

Right this second I feel pretty good because since I'm giving up all my shit, I went ahead and doubled up on my pod dose and took some extra klonopin. I'm not going to check into detox drunk though. I'm feeling to good to mess it up with vodka, which I would just need to sleep.

Anyway, don't know how this next week is gonna go. I've never done a CT medical detox before. I know it'll be hellish, but they should have stuff to ease my pain, right?

I'll be checking back in here to see if any of you, my old and new beloved pals, have read this. I'll have access to a computer again in 6,7, maybe 8 days tops.

I love you all.

Peace
podsnomo (again)
 
Yes, much love from Scream also! You can do it!

In the beginning of December I took small amount of pain meds for surgery, then on 12/16 I went to the kava bar and got some kratom since I was still in pain. It didn't really do much although it was 15X. I bought 5 grams which I thought I could stretch out over a week and I finished it that very same day. Luckily I have not taken any narcotic pain meds/kratom since. So counting that day it's been almost 2 months since I've had opiate-like substances. Minus that day and minus pain meds for surgery, I've had about 6 months free. Wow. It really doesn't feel that long at all.

The want is strong though, especially when I am in pain like this. But I am able to talk myself out of it, and in general am glad I have not caved completely. When I am not in physical/emotional pain, I don't even think about it.

I also got the strength to quit smoking, and in about a week I will have 3 months free from that! :)

Addiction is such a curious thing. Why do we feel drawn to things that only hurt us in the end? Why do we tell ourselves "just one day" of our favorite substance? Why is the risk worth it? Why, when a craving supposedly only lasts 3 minutes, do we feel like we've been craving what we quit for a week straight non-stop?

These are questions I may never have the answer too. But I do know, despite my cravings, that one day drug free is infinitely better than 100 days of using substances.

Hope you all are well.
 
Oh wow. Sweet JEEBUS!

So, I was looking back, and I started crying with joy when people said I helped them. I love you guys!
And I noticed that when I posted in January I had totally forgotten about my November post. Holy shit.
I've been really sick a long time.

I'm clean and sober today. This is day 10.
Here's what happened, I got so bad I locked myself in detox. It was quite an experience...more like jail than I thought it would be. And it was psych patients and chemical dependency, and apparently I am both. Anyhow, my brother and girlfriend arrived on my second morning there. I was so happy to see them I didn't even think about it being a weird thing. It wasn't visiting hours. But I had just woken up and wasn't thinking. And my brother said my name like 6 times. Until he caught my eyes, and he said, "Mom died".

She wasn't sick or anything. Had a heart attack in her sleep. Gone. She was 68.

So, I'm still going through detox, kinda, and maybe PAWS is starting to set in. I don't know.

I'll write more later. For now, I thought you guys should know how much gabapentin is helping with the WDs and cravings and mood and pain and everything almost. If you can get to a doctor, ask for it. It's an amazing medication with million off-label uses.

My whole heart to all,
pods
 
I'm sorry to hear about your mom Pods. That really must be hard right when you're trying to deal with this stuff. I feel for you man. I think it was you that said something about life not caring about our personal struggles; life continues to come at you, good and bad, no matter how weak you are or what you're trying to overcome, like an addiction. I can't imagine how hard that must be. I hope you're alright man, you have a wealth of wisdom about recovery that has no doubt benefited me and others.

This happens to be my first post on the forum, as I've been lurking this thread for a while now. There is so much support and wisdom on this thread it's amazing. I thought I would keep this thread going. I too am quitting Kratom. I did a cold turkey quit starting 28 Dec 2013, which puts me at 52 days today. This is so new for me. All throughout college up until now, I've always been on something, whether it was one thing or another. I haven't been this consistently sober since before high school. I've gotten drunk probably 5 times since quitting kratom, but the thing about it is every time I get drunk, I tend to get a little too drunk, and then the next few days the Kratom cravings come back. I think this must be why AA and other similar groups emphasize total sobriety.

I used Kratom recreationally at first, but then I realized over time that I could also study on it, and even study longer with more interest. This led me to study on Kratom, then since I'm studying a lot, this turned int
 
aneverday thing, and soon enough I'm downing 4-6 5 gram doses each day. For awhile it was expensive because when I started I would do 15 g at a time afterwork in the evenings, but I soon realized that less is more, and that smallerdoses work well also. For the first summer I was on it, I would buy stuff atthe head shop and spend tons of money on it. I eventually realized I couldorder online for much cheaper and started getting kilos of leaf powder. Thiswas when it really took off. I went through 2 kg in one semester of school(last semester), and ended up running out before finals. I also ran out ofmoney around this time too. So I didn't have enough to buy quantity, andended up donating plasma at biolife as much as I could to buy head shop stuff.I knew I could get it cheaper online, but the shop is like 4 blocks from myhouse so it was like hmmm do I want kratom now or do I want it in a week? So Iended up broke at the end of the semester. I still paid my bills and stuff andpaid for food and such, but I had no spending money.


I resolved to quit over winter break, but I had to go through withdrawls. And Ihad to work. These two suck together. I tried to have my last dose the fridaymorning before my last final, went through withdrawls over theweekend, and managed to work the next week just fine, so me thinks I'm ok.WRONG. Got more, spent more, 11 days go by. I ended up saying no thankssir I've had enough. Withdrawls again. 3 days that felt like a month.Another 3 days working that took every ounce of will power I had just to getup in the morning. I kept telling myself, constantly, be strong, bestrong, BE STRONG. Those 6 days felt like a month easily. Then it goteasier, but still kinda sucky. This whole time I was working avery mentally and physically intense job. It got easier by a littleevery day, but only in the past few weeks have I began to feel normal. Neverreally got depressed, it just felt like everything was a drag.

I started running a few times every week, writing in my journal, sometimesgoing from one activity to the next within 5 minutes just to keep my mindoccupied. The minute something got boring (which was quick), I just didsomething else. I think this helped for the first few weeks. The journal helpstoo, I like to write poems about being strong and overcoming challenges andsuch. I read them to myself in moments of weakness and that seems to help. Ialso like to draw in my notebook. There's this one I have that has a little guywalking up a mountain and along the trail there trail signs for the different(in my mind) stages of recovery, like despair, fear, need, want, change,and finally rebirth. Along the path are little rocks of hope. At the topthere is a sunset and a sort of monument with the word REBIRTH on it. Ilike looking at that one. I've marked different points on the trail with dates.Little stupid stuff like that keeps me sane, along with this forum. I hope Ican share a bit of what has helped me along the way with others here.


Sorry for the long post, I hope I didn't bore you too much. I just wanted tointroduce myself to some people who understand what it's like and all.

Peace and Love

Clarity12

 
Welcome to the thread clarity. I know it's tough. I like your drawing of the mountain with the sign posts. I wonder if you could scan it. If you could, I'd PM you my real emailso I could see it.

I think I'm relapsing again. I don't want to go back to where I was when it was at worst for sure. I was eating 20-40g of finely powdered poppy pods a day, taking my sleep AND anxiety meds in the morning (1.5mg klonopin, and 30mg temazepam), and I was using the sleep/anxiety meds to get rid of the shakes after drinking well over a pint of vodka everynight. For the last few nights I've 4-6 beers and I started using some kratom again, about 5-7 grams twice a day. Fuck! I often wonder what the fuck is going to happen to me.

So, yeah, my mom died January 31st, my second morning in detox. The most important woman in my life was gone. 20 days later on the 19th, my gf of nearly 4 years broke up with me. That was when I kind of hit the fuck-it button. The two most important women in my life, gone, within in 20 days.

I want to quit kratom again and not drink anymore, but life is such shit right now. And I'll wake up with no kratom, having thought the previous day that tomorrow would be the day I'd quit. But no, I wake up, eyes are watering and burning, I have no energy mixed with anxiety, and I drive to the little place and buy another 30g. Every three days that's been the tune. I don't know what's going to happen. I feel like someone else is driving this goddam bus and there's nothing I can do. But I know there IS plenty I can do, like tell my sponsor the whole truth, go to meeting, work the steps, and so forth. But I just feel stuck. I want to quit, but how do you want to want to quit enough to actually do it?

I need some motivation, inspiration, and I don't know what else.

love to all,
pods
 
hi pods,have followed this thread for a while.
detoxes can be quite an experience.
really sorry to hear about your mom.my parents are 70 both roughly and it's their time soon
as well.

i took kratom in mix with so many other opiates.i can't distinguish this many years
later what withdrawal symptoms was specific to the kratom.
but it sounds horrible.

you know whats up,though.
meetings,reaching out,being honest…..

when u have strength I'm sure u will do all those things and get clean from kratom.

the drinking is a separate issue.
you might want to check with doctors re DT's and whatnot.

i am on suboxone.
for me,that drug,buprenorphine,is a godsend.
it works on both my heroin addiction AND depression.

i dont crave street opiates anymore.
i function to a certain degree.

continue posting and reaching out,you can pm me too if u want.

much love.
 
Sorry to hear all that pods... I hope you can turn back around into sobriety, it sounds like that whats you do want deep down. Maybe an idea would be to pick kratom or alcohol for the moment. Using both, you'll end up being dependant on two substances.

IMO, id say kratom is the better alternative to take daily and function during times of stress. I wont go into the reasons, but at this point, I know I need kratom to go to work everyday, pay my bills, and somewhat enjoy life. I hate to say that because you do want to be completely clean but kratom does have its medicinal value.
 
This appears to be a dead thread ... but not anymore. :) I posted several months ago regarding my addiction to Kratom. I slipped and then re-lapsed and became full bore using again. I was using up to 45 grams in a day at times. My tolerance went through the roof. No one knew that I was using. It was tearing me up. I just couldn't imagine living life not medicating on something so I continued to self medicate on Kratom.

16 days ago I put it down. I went to the doctor and had her sympathy. She prescribed enough Valium to help me to sleep at night for 5 nights. I was taking a half of one twice a day. I didn't even like it. I've always loved opiates ... not benzos .... just don't like the feeling. Anyhow ... I am living life now completely clean which is the first time in 7 years. For 7 years I took something daily every single day. I am free ... and it feels good. I really hope that you guys on this thread .... and especially podsnomo, can get there. There really is some happiness on the "other side." Best of luck to all and God bless.
 
Well, I'd been considering trying Kratom to ease with depression and anxiety, but I have a very addictive personality.

Now this thread is making me think I might be smart to stay away from Kratom.

Would those of you in this thread who have had Kratom problems recommend a person like me stay away from it if I am not sure I'd be able to moderate?
 
Last edited:
omen_owen mk2 said:
I think you've answered your own question there.
Click to expand...

I guess I probably did but I can't be sure.

Do you have low motivation levels and depression?

And have you ever tried kratom as a medication (not just a high?)

Some would say just to take it as a medication and there'd be no need for moderation but sadly doctors don't prescribe it so it's not considered an "acceptable" thing to do.
 
Last edited:
Nah unfortunately I don't have any first hand experience with it, one of the few mainstream substances I haven't put in my body. I do have depression, although I have recovered a lot of motivation recently and am hungry to improve my life.

I just think that if you're questioning your ability to control using it before even having tried it then you probably know in your heart of hearts whether you will have trouble with it or not. Maybe it could be a useful substance for you though I don't know.

You might not have issues with it, and I would certainly listen to someone with first hand experience over me if I were you, but I was answering from a purely philisophical point of view.

I guess what I'm really saying is that you should be asking yourself whether it's worth the risk messing with a substance which regularly causes addiction if you are unsure about your own ability to control substances or have had issues in the pass. I wasn't trying to come off as facetious, hope it didn't come accross that way, I was just trying to be succinct!
 
Hi Guys, It's good to see this thread back online again. I too have had trouble with Kratom. Im currently almost 4 months free of kratom. I was drinking here and there and smoking the ganj but I put that away 3 weeks ago.

If it was me I would stay away, Myco. I loved the stuff from day 1. I think i started out self medicating for depression and whatnot, but it eventually got out of control and I was spending a shite ton of money on it. It would help me study, but when I realized I needed to kick it, I was faced with some serious motivation issues. I justified taking it on the basis of studying for school. which at the time helped my grades. Most people will tell you its a relatively benign substance as far as drugs go, which makes it easy to justify taking every day. There is a psychological addiction as well as a physical addiction.

That being said, the stuff just makes you feel really good. Its a perfect functional drug. You can take it, and whatever you have to get done you can do with a sense of well being and just feeling good. Hard to describe. It stops working after a while though,at which point you either upgrade to extracts (stronger, more expensive) or quit. I chose to quit.

It pretty niiice though, but now I'm fantasizing a little too much so I digress. Whatever you decide to do, know this stuff is addicting, and makes you feel really good. I would sometimes get a nod with it on the bali strains, whereas the super mang da strains feel very speedy. Whatever your cup of tea is.

My reccomendation: Tread carefully

Peace,
Clarity
 
By the way, Podsnomo, if you're still tuning in, post something man. How are you doing?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top