Lets update my old old topic with a story of hope
Very short tl;dr: I did insane amounts of ketamine; then only cut down a bit while doing some other stupid drug related things and somehow magically the bladder issues disappeared completely causing my bladder to feel as good as it did four years ago. Not sure how; but I'm really glad it happened. Sharing the story anyway just in caze any detail may be useful for someone and for hope.
I just noticed someone posted in this topic recently and I was just about to do so myself or atleast some related subject topic; but my own old topic works fine... I see the post I made was in june or so.. shit that is long ago. That was just the start of it I know now.. basically I went on with the ketamine binge and made it much, much worse; doing 3-5 grams a day every day throughout all of august which ended with peeing blood and actual pieces of the inside of my bladder (?), intense pain too, reduced bladder capacity and back then in august often K-cramps too; all the pain I had I would ignore with more K.. my memory of that month is pretty blurred it was even for me absolutely rediculous. At the end of it, very early september I was weighting only 43 kg at 1.76m (dropped down from 48 or so though which I am at now too, I'm always thin), was pretty much in too much pain to even walk and that ended in some critical night where even on 8 mg flunitrazepam (with no benzo tolerance and more of a sensitivity to them even) I couldn't sleep from the pain and I took like 5 grams of K in a few hours, did not help either.. went to the hospital the next day where I had to pee in a tube and it was nearly all blood (fuuuckk); well turned out I had 3 different types of bacteria too (wtf). Bladder actually wasn't too damaged, just very very sensitive and infected too. I was put on strong not OTC painkillers (of the ibuprofen type but much stronger). The silly thing was that I had thought it was all K related so I never thought of having an actual infection at the same time but that was just my bad luck; either way I got strong antibiotics that had very lame side effects such as causing tiredness and nightmares due to stopping your liver from breaking down melatonin and muscle pain and a weird metalic /water taste in my mouth.. nasty antibiotics. Did help perfectly within 2-3 days though, had to take them two weeks. Weird enough that day in the hospital or the two days after I thought I messed up for good; that I'd be too weak to ever do anything again and that I had maybe permanently fucked up an organ...
After that I cut down the K a bit; basically since the start of september I became a weekend user; with as best consequence that I never got K-cramps anymore; actually just once but I had oxycodone that weekend by coinsidence, and snorting 15 mg of oxycodone = 'pain; now what was that again
' but other then that incident absolutely no K-cramps ever, and bladder issues did not return straight away either. I would still do too much K on the weekends though; often 10 grams in 2 or 3 days but then nothing on the weekdays and drinking a lot of water and that would keep the issues away. Ofcourse I did mess up with doing even more or doing some on random weekdays too or neglecting water in take at times causing bladder issues to occasionally return; and occasionally go away too but by the winter they had become constant.
Constant reduced capacity; even waking up at night to pee, constant pain, painful stabbing feeling in the bladder when walking. When not on ketamine or enough codeine I'd feel pretty handicapped but I kept going places and moving around even if my bladder always hurt on the background, half of the week I was typically on K anyway and the other half often sitting at home with sometimes codeine. Around december though I started doing fentanyl atleast 4 days a week, and ketamine a bit less often (often 2 days of doing some then 5 days off K or even 2 days of doing some and then a 7 day break or so) and fentanyl has the awesome side effect of making you retain water while being an absolutely epic pain killer so you hold much more fluid in your bladder without feeling it being overly irritated causing me to pee like 2-3 times a day instead of 10 or so and much more normal amounts; after the fentanyl+codeine month (I had codeine on the days I did not do fentanyl; which was stupid and caused a withdrawal) I only did ketamine twice; both times with 7 days in between usage and usage being only two days in a row (for me thats not much at all); bladder pain stayed away and the capacity stayed enlarged again! Not sure how but cutting down while doing opiates fixed my bladder?
I'm now in Costa Rica for a few weeks visiting family (caribbean coast; tropical rainforest, its very awesome relaxing) and I've been here for a week; last time I did K was now 9-10 days ago and my bladder is NORMAL. I actually mean pre-ketamine normal. It's size, capacity and pain-free-ness is about as normal as it was before I ever used any drug. As if that whole mess with blood that one time in summer or the CONSTANT pain of the late autumn and winter never existed, and I didn't even take a long break or anything. I suspect the fentanyl playing quite a role in allowing me to fast-stretch my bladder to normal size + cutting down + drinking a lot; other then that I can only think of that I did a really, really high dose of 4-aco-dmt 2 days before I left for here, and since then I've been feeling really good and healthy (It was like 50-80 mg snorted; intense as a breakthrough DMT in slow motion; awesome stuff but I doubt it had any effect on my bladder
)...
ut I feel normal now and I realise now how constantly utterly uncomfortable I was and here in Costa Rica I do not miss the K; I'm looking forward to lowered tolerance when I come home and I'm curious wether I can make it a just a few times a month instead of weekly-or-more thing.. more as if it were a psychedelic instead of my medicine against any thing I'm not fully content with
I only now realise HOW much I was self medicating (with ketamine itself mostly, with opiates and benzo's such as xanax too) the discomfort that I caused myself.. now that it is gone I actually think controlling usage should be easier since I'm not in pain all the time. Half of the K addiction was treating the discomfort that the K itself aused.
I'm not recommending people to do what I did; in fact I advise against it. Taking strong opioids is not generally a good idea and I have no idea how medically responsible what I did was. It fast-fixed me; I'm back at my natural weight, I have a perfectly fine bladder, I feel really fit and good even though I did atleast at the very minimum 10 grams of K in a weekend each weekend since the summer (and serveral grams every day during summer). It took really short to go back to normal by just cutting down a bit (compared to a K-naive person the amounts I did were still seriously high). This is mostly ment as hopeful message. Not sure how things got fixed so fast but they did. The human body is capable of amazing recovery and if you cut down or quit the K and take good care of yourself it WILL get better. It may take longer then it did for me (I'm honestly still surprised how all of it seems like a bizarre and twisted memory now while just a few weeks ago I was seeing stars from pure pain and agony when peeing for the second time in the same hour tiny amounts of burning sharp pee), but it can get better
Hm that was hard to type and even harder to press the post button and see that piece of text just sit here online. I feel shame for what I did back in late august; and for how bad it had gotten around november/december; where I only felt comfortable on a decently high dose of fentanyl (with little to no opiate tolerance that is)... fucking hell.
Either way all of it is now just a memory and if I can maintain a healthier usage, keeping the tolerance to K down by never doing more then a few hours in a row with then atleast two weeks in between (in theory that should keep even perma tolerance away; and I saw it work on other who had bad K habits in the past).. well I'll see, and try my best, and use the healthy feeling body as a motivation against addiction
