ElvisPillsley
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2014
- Messages
- 60
For over a year I've regularly used H. For most of that time I sniffed only, tried smoking but didn't get the hang of it. Anyway, once I switched to IV (for someone with a very high IQ I do some dumb shit) it wasnt long before I tried a proper speedball.
I had sniffed coke and h together but as you may know, it's nothing close to IV. Anyway, I kinda wish I'd never tried SBs becuase, franly, shooting dope alone was very disappointing compared to waht I had been told and imagined it to be like - so perhaps I'd have stopped or cut way back. Then comes my dude with some very excellent powder. <snip> So of course I decided to mix the two and after a few tries withvarying degrees of success, I got a goodone and never looked back.
Another briliant move by me - don't ust pick up one new expensive habit, couple it with a secondary one so as to spend 2x the money.
Anyway, now I almost never ever shoot dope without coke added, evenif it be broken down crack, though that isn't my preference.
I know it's kinda hack to say, and during primary education when cops and whoever else would come into lecture us on the dangers of drugs, I paid no attention. I was staunchly anti-drug until about, when I started boozing heavily. Didn't use a drug until weed at 19, then coke at 21 which became a HUGE thing for me for years.<snip>
I wish it were just a good feeling, plenty of things feel good but I can very easily either say fuck it not now, another time, tomorrow, whatever. Sadly, though, a SB isn't merely good. It's beyond words because ultimately they all mean good in one way or another. I wish they'd make mepuke everytime I had one (though my ex would puke EVERY time we smoked crack and she wasn't even slightly deterred. I wish it made me have terrible acne - SOMETHING to really make me slow way down or stop. The closest thing I have to a motivator is the warm weather approaching and I do not want visible scars. I am a professional (doctors, lawyers, dentists, etc.),and so I have to pretend along with all the other junkies in my field that I'm not one. So I have one choice here: repeat what I did in January, and what worked too, rubbing the scars off with a pumice stone. I mean RUBBING down to the raw red tacky flesh - once you reach that and you do any more and I believe that brings youclose to passing out. I was seeing light fluctuations, etc. Anyway, I did it before, on no pain meds mind you, so I can do it again. Got no choice: t-shirt weather is almost here, and I havea physical May 20th with an awesome primary doc who is liberal with his Rx pad. On my first visit he gave me back my 2 bars a day, and when we talked about it, he seemed open to writing me my pain medsagain after reviewing my MRI. That would be so fuckin' wonderiful having Opana crushable ER 20mg and Endocet 10s. I was going for pain management to get those until they threw me out because my urine tested positive for high alcohol content. I realize the reason doesn't matter to them, but my appt was usually at like 9 am Saturday - and I'd be out boozing the night before, maybe up until like 5 hours before my appt. Stupid me, though had I known that was sucha serious thing I would never have allowed that to happen. So, one of the best pill docs in my area is no longer an option. What's worse is when I call around to other pain docs to make an appt many will tell you directly overthe phone that they do not write scripts, but only do trigger point injections. WTF? Now, I rarely feel it, but my MRI does show a subluxation at L5-S1, so any doc can rely on that when writing for me. I'm hoping the new primary will write me pain meds because if notI'mreally gonna have to search andsearch and maybe beg my old doc to come back. I doubt he cares, he walks around seeming so fuckin' high it's ridiculous;gotta be the <snip> office manager. So, once I scrub myself down again, and heal, I'm gonna cut way back and try to find places in my legs - but it'sgonna be tough.
<snip> Wish it weren't so damn wonderful to me. Wish I could go back to taking 5 vicodin with beer and a bar and being set. Wish I could go back to my ex-pain doc.
I had sniffed coke and h together but as you may know, it's nothing close to IV. Anyway, I kinda wish I'd never tried SBs becuase, franly, shooting dope alone was very disappointing compared to waht I had been told and imagined it to be like - so perhaps I'd have stopped or cut way back. Then comes my dude with some very excellent powder. <snip> So of course I decided to mix the two and after a few tries withvarying degrees of success, I got a goodone and never looked back.
Another briliant move by me - don't ust pick up one new expensive habit, couple it with a secondary one so as to spend 2x the money.
Anyway, now I almost never ever shoot dope without coke added, evenif it be broken down crack, though that isn't my preference.
I know it's kinda hack to say, and during primary education when cops and whoever else would come into lecture us on the dangers of drugs, I paid no attention. I was staunchly anti-drug until about, when I started boozing heavily. Didn't use a drug until weed at 19, then coke at 21 which became a HUGE thing for me for years.<snip>
I wish it were just a good feeling, plenty of things feel good but I can very easily either say fuck it not now, another time, tomorrow, whatever. Sadly, though, a SB isn't merely good. It's beyond words because ultimately they all mean good in one way or another. I wish they'd make mepuke everytime I had one (though my ex would puke EVERY time we smoked crack and she wasn't even slightly deterred. I wish it made me have terrible acne - SOMETHING to really make me slow way down or stop. The closest thing I have to a motivator is the warm weather approaching and I do not want visible scars. I am a professional (doctors, lawyers, dentists, etc.),and so I have to pretend along with all the other junkies in my field that I'm not one. So I have one choice here: repeat what I did in January, and what worked too, rubbing the scars off with a pumice stone. I mean RUBBING down to the raw red tacky flesh - once you reach that and you do any more and I believe that brings youclose to passing out. I was seeing light fluctuations, etc. Anyway, I did it before, on no pain meds mind you, so I can do it again. Got no choice: t-shirt weather is almost here, and I havea physical May 20th with an awesome primary doc who is liberal with his Rx pad. On my first visit he gave me back my 2 bars a day, and when we talked about it, he seemed open to writing me my pain medsagain after reviewing my MRI. That would be so fuckin' wonderiful having Opana crushable ER 20mg and Endocet 10s. I was going for pain management to get those until they threw me out because my urine tested positive for high alcohol content. I realize the reason doesn't matter to them, but my appt was usually at like 9 am Saturday - and I'd be out boozing the night before, maybe up until like 5 hours before my appt. Stupid me, though had I known that was sucha serious thing I would never have allowed that to happen. So, one of the best pill docs in my area is no longer an option. What's worse is when I call around to other pain docs to make an appt many will tell you directly overthe phone that they do not write scripts, but only do trigger point injections. WTF? Now, I rarely feel it, but my MRI does show a subluxation at L5-S1, so any doc can rely on that when writing for me. I'm hoping the new primary will write me pain meds because if notI'mreally gonna have to search andsearch and maybe beg my old doc to come back. I doubt he cares, he walks around seeming so fuckin' high it's ridiculous;gotta be the <snip> office manager. So, once I scrub myself down again, and heal, I'm gonna cut way back and try to find places in my legs - but it'sgonna be tough.
<snip> Wish it weren't so damn wonderful to me. Wish I could go back to taking 5 vicodin with beer and a bar and being set. Wish I could go back to my ex-pain doc.
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