Just speedballed and I am madly in love

[oxy gen]

Amazing how powerful the mind can be. Capable of convincing a daily, year plus heroin user that he isn't physically dependent. Crazy.

 

[Smoky]

Yes, the mental compulsion to use has been lifted for me when I thought I was doomed to no other way of living without heroin, before that without cocaine (crack), and earlier without methamphetamine. I couldn't see it when I was 'in it' nor could I see a way out at the time.

The thoughts of using come up sometimes, but it is not a constant issue ruling my life, and I learned ways to cope as someone mentioned above. It is possible. I tried - to kill myself when they came to take me away.

Many counselors told me I didn't have to figure it out then and just give recovery a shot. They were right.

You have nothing to lose… by getting help.Also, the lens you are looking through right now might be blurred by your thinking via drugs. This will clear with time…. Hang in there. You're the only person you got !

 

[ElvisPillsley]

Sorry I've posted so much on this one topic. It's just unlike anything I ever had before and here Ithought there wasn't anything new out there to me.

Anyway, I've previously discussed that often, as of late, I get a little afraid after pushing in. It's the coke which comes on first, at least mostly... who knows what role dope plays. It doesn't last long, and I think a lot of it is paranoia having gone out myself and when I came to realized I had absolutely zero clue what was about to happen nor opportunity to do a damn thing for myself.

As stated both are at least good quality always, the powder being remarkable even on a bad day. I always use about the same amounts so I don't believe it's ratio... The little one I had just not probably lasted less than a minute and nothing feels bad at all, I just worry that at any moment it could be lights out and sometimes no one would findme for a long time.

Any similar experience, suggestions... especially on ratio?

 

[Stargazer]

I was on a year long run...w heroin. Then I started shooting coke, just because it was available. I don't shoot a little. If I don't shoot enough to the point I fish out, I just felt edgy. That being said, I was bringing myself to the point of killing myself. I have been clean for the past eight months...

Truly, if you don't choose to stop, if you don't die, the choice will be made for you. Jail. I was in jail for 6 and a half months...it was a nightmare to put it mildly. But, I was evaluated by psychologist...and put in a chronic pain program. An addictioin-free chronic pain program. It was awesome. I feel awesome....better and more alive than ever.

You sound like an incredible person. Addiction is hell. I know. You have to keep pushing on and through. Don't let the choice be made for you. Jail is really gross. I mean really really gross. I just kept my head down, and go through it.

Please get help. You know deep down there is no other way...I detoxed hard in jail. Had seizures, hallucinated....omg. It was horrible and terrifying. You just don't want it to happen that way. And addiction doesn't discriminate. My husband is highly intelligent and a huge addict...bad. He can't just take a little, he has to more or less be in a coma. Addiction is a bitch. I hope you don't let it win. You really are worth getting better.

 

[Newin419]

Sorry I've posted so much on this one topic. It's just unlike anything I ever had before and here Ithought there wasn't anything new out there to me.

Anyway, I've previously discussed that often, as of late, I get a little afraid after pushing in. It's the coke which comes on first, at least mostly... who knows what role dope plays. It doesn't last long, and I think a lot of it is paranoia having gone out myself and when I came to realized I had absolutely zero clue what was about to happen nor opportunity to do a damn thing for myself.

As stated both are at least good quality always, the powder being remarkable even on a bad day. I always use about the same amounts so I don't believe it's ratio... The little one I had just not probably lasted less than a minute and nothing feels bad at all, I just worry that at any moment it could be lights out and sometimes no one would findme for a long time.

Any similar experience, suggestions... especially on ratio?

As I've stated in this thread before, I love mixing uppers and opiates.. I compare it to heaven on earth.. As far as the ratio goes, I refuse to shoot anything, so obviously me giving dosing advice is useless.. But I will say that when I mix for sniffing I only do enough upper to keep the nodding away and stay active. The buzz from the heroin is what I want to feel and enjoy, and I can handle more of it if I can use an upper like coke to stay active.. Love it..