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"Junior, the most important thing you need to know about how the world works is..."

"Believe nothing that you hear, nothing that you see and only half of what you think, and you never know which half!"
 
Row row row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, live is but a dream.
 
You're already free. Now climb that fucking mountain!
 
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I'm gonna cheat and give more than one:

(1) Suck the nectar out of life.

(2) Add value.

(3) Learn how to make yourself happy;

(4) So that you can help others learn how to make THEMSELVES happy.

(5) Be a good person for the sake of being a good person.

(6) You're NOT perfect, but I love you anyway.

(7) Forgive yourself.



.
 
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So many good candidates for this...

My greek father always told me "pan metron ariston" - everything in moderation is best

I also love this one...
"I define nothing. Not beauty, not patriotism. I take everything as it is, without prior rules about what it should be." This equates well to honesty, mindfulness, an open mind, patience, creativity, and surprisingly... good scientific conduct! :p
 
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love everything, and stay open minded while keep your gaurd up.

i would probably work on on cleaning it up. but that would be the base of it.
 
LOL, loveoflife - this would be a fuckin' weird thing for a dad to say to his small son:

(1) Suck the nectar out of life.

"Son, you just gotta SUCK that sweet nectar out of life."
lol, what kid would understand that?? i think nectar is mostly sugar and water

My dad always just said. do whatever the fuck you want (as long you go through school), do it well. master something. your will is god. there is no god. haha, yep, pretty basic and primitive.

that is the only truth a man needs to know! that's what im telling my son. i cant wait to make a little joke child as a project for my psychological theories (Yes, I'm evil, im a mad scientist)
 
Life, while NOT perfect, is fucking BEAUTIFUL, it is an invaluable GIFT we did absolutely NOTHING to deserve . . . and the sooner that you TRULY appreciate THAT, the happier you will be.
 
to be without flaw would be the biggest flaw of them all
 
"For years you will make many observations. Most of them will be wrong.

Get used to it"
 
Anytime I was unhappy or depressed or feeling lost, my father always comforted me with "Well boy, if you think you're miserable now, just wait till tomorrow." Also "Life's a bitch, get used to it."

Not the most optimistic words of wisdom, but pretty true.

Personally, I'll probably go with "Remember son, they can't charge you with murder if they never find the hooker's body.".

Guess I'm just an optimistic kinda guy.
 
I don't remember feeling confused and depressed at a very young age and asking my dad for advice...the whole scenario is impossible to even imagine haha.
 
"...you must master yourself, for yourself, and ultimately for others"
Sorry to let you down, Max. :)

It just has struck me for some time that not wanting to be alone is the prime motivator for most people doing most of what they do, once basic survival needs have been met. You might not understand someone's exact reasons for doing what they do. But chances are they're just trying to feel more connected (and perhaps going about it all wrong). This is the key to being compassionate, rather than fearful or suspicious, toward people you don't get, or even don't like!

I had a good think about this whilst tripping on a light dose of DXM the other night. Good advice. “Only a life lived for others is worth living” - Einstein
 
Figure out how you can squeeze your talents and your passions into your finite life span, and ADD FUCKING VALUE!
 
Sometimes you need to stop wondering about what you should be doing, and start worrying about what you want to do.

I wouldn't say that to a 5 year old, though.
 
who the fuck would say ANY of this shit to a little kid?!? what in christ! why dont you just launch him from a catapult directly into the grave
 
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