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July Getting/Staying Sober Thread vs Birds of a Feather

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@missingeastcoast...It depends on the sub doctor... My first doctor almost cut me off because I had a false negative. That was when I fisrt started it and was lying to myself and chipping the shit out of it... Its not abuse because I never take the full dose haha. The doctor I have now is a fucking angel and she knows I have used and even let me smoke pot for over a year without cutting me... and she worked for the first asshole doctor. Honesty with yourself is the most important thing... tell your doctor you want to tapper and do it slow and maybe see a psychologost... im looking for one I dont think dropped acid before my visit. My mom is in the medical field and I grew up worring about her having an overdose half my life... She is clean from what I know now and even if she still uses pain meds she does not abuse them. I have chronic pain and am disabled at 28 but I still fight the urge to not turn my medecine into a drug... progress is progress, no matter how slow and painful the process is.... its worth it. If you cant get off, lower until you can function. Your doing great!
 
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@ bluesaffron I feel like that and had actually tired many times to quit but just jumpped back on because I had a family party or some other obligation that made it so I couldnt fall apart. Do you have insurance? I am planning on going into a 28 day detox when I am ready... that may be in a year because I still have very serious pain and I am not able to do that now... I pick my daughter up for a week long visit on wednesday. When you want to be alone you usually need someone the most... are you in a relationship? Do you have roommates or live with anyone who you can confide in?
 
"The one thing I am struggling with is genuine happiness... I'm 24, living back with parents, my house is chill but since I don't talk to anyone right now really it gets lonely, I sit all day mostly reading/participating forums, self-help e-books and websites... I'm having a tough time finding that ambition, that start button, to get my ass busy and trying to apply for jobs though I'm kinda forcing myself... I really don't know what to do in life right now and that's the hardest part, not to mention I've accumulated a lot of freakin credit card debt and won't be having money for a littleeeeee while.
At least let's keep this clean streak going I guess"


These forums are free and drugs, even prescribed drugs with insurance end up costing alot more. Its summer, have you tried just walking outside and taking a 30 minute walk? It dosent sound that great but without using your brain is just waiting for you to use it. Try not to feel bad about where you are be glad that you have a home and a family and use them for support... At the height of my addiction I was kicked out of my house with nowhere to go. I made some threats and I had a hellicoptor and half of suffolk county looking for me for a few hours. I then had an order of protection placed on me for a tempory basis which stated I could not call my family or be near their home. I had 600 dollars and an ounce of pot I planned to sell in small bags to survive, My pot was thrown out and I was left with 600 dollars and had to jump from couches to motels and took any job I could, eventually ending up in sacramento california living in a 200 dollar a week motel selling dish network as an independent contractor with no insurance... Oh I also was taking seroquel and had about 60 tablets left and some serious choices to make. I am 28 now and have a wife, a daughter and my family back.... The one piece of advice I can give you is to use your family support and encouragment. Be proud you are clean and sober!
 
suboxone421 said:
That gives me hope! How are you feeling today?
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Good, I am doing well today. I still have good and bad days, but the good days are getting better.

My sleep is still somewhat off but I find valerian tea helps a lot - although it takes about an hour and a half after I drink it to feel tired.
 
Thanks for the replies! I kow, I am planning on talking to my doctor . I'm just scared. Scared that they won't have suboxone or will just cut me off. Scared I can't do this. Just scared and feel so alone. I know what you mean BlueSaffron about wanting to be alone but I know I really don't. I am going on vacation next week to Yosemite and camping all week so I know I won't have any meds and I'm hoping I will be able to use that time to begin to center myself, although camping with the whole family is a pretty crazy affair! We do it every year so I know what I'm In for. My appt with my doc is right after I get back. Although know I'm thinking I just won't go back, but I know I really need to for the other care I get there. Ugh. How did I get in this place!
 
valerian works good... I sometimes use to use a product called power to sleep I forget who makes it but amazon sells it for like 15 bucks and it usually takes about 30 minutes maybe 45 to kick in... Glad to hear that the days are getting better. I am still tappering and some days I feel great and somedays I just maintain. Keep up the progress!
 
MissingEastCoast said:
I know what you mean BlueSaffron about wanting to be alone but I know I really don't.
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same here - I know I really don't either... what I mean is I wish I could be away from MOST people. Wish I could go camping in the woods with my man for a few weeks, and just get away from everything.
 
Hey everyone! So I took a few days off from the Buddhist studies program and went to an annual young peoples AA camp out this weekend. Had a fuckin' blast! Last year I went with 60 days sober and not knowing basically anyone - this year I'll have 14 months tomorrow, I knew hella people and I also have a service position on the events committee that hosts it. I brought along a sponsee of my own this year rather than being brought by my sponsor and it was a really incredible experience, coming full circle like that. I was able to talk to him for hours and help him through all the same problems I had last year that I've since gotten over such as debilitating social anxiety. Also thought him and some friends some of the meditation techniques I've been studying at the retreat center. Last year I fell in love with a girl there, who broke up with me 5-6 months ago and while many memories were brought up during the trip I was able to maintain a healthy perspective and experience true gratitude for the times I had with her rather then let myself sulk and bask in some sort of self created misery like I would have done even just a couple months ago. I've grown so much in the last year And litter ally every few months it feels like the rate at which I grow emotionally and spiritually as a person has been doubling.

How is everyone else doing??
 
^that makes me happy to hear :)

Im still sober, & feel like Im making progress, in fact i think im going to go down another mg tomorrow to 21. Mentally not that great... Just sad (not about dope, about a personal situation)... But Im hanging in, in hopes that it'll be worth it down the line.
 
Hi everyone!

So I've posted here and there in this forum ... I'm here again... Attempting some sober days again!i had like another wake up call and I really need to get more sober days under my belt. I usually don't go more then three days at a time. So even if I can only make it for 3 day stretches, I need more of them. Then I'm assuming eventually I can make it a week and get week long stretches in!

So I'll be starting hopefully tomorrow. Hopefully, 24 hours from now will be my 'first 24' and I can go from there

I jus really need to start working on this. I jus turned 27 an I live at home. I have no money but yet I have an ok paying job. I need to start saving money so I can buy my own place by the time I'm 30! Uhggg

Good job to everyone that has that sobriety under ur belt. I admire u guys!!!
 
Just spent about an hour listening to binaural beats and meditating and that surprised me. 2 weeks ago I wouldn't have been able to last more then a half hour. I have the day off of work today and leave for Alaska for a wedding on Thursday. Going to try to organize my apartment today. Meetings going really well, some new people coming around and reaching out to me because they say "it looks like I am doing what I need to do"... well not sure if I know what I need to do, but that was nice to hear.
 
Going to Alaska on Thursday for a childhood friends wedding. Plan to hit up some NA meetings while up there. Not really concerned about wanting to use, but main concern is I have a strong suspicion I will feel like I am not fitting in. My mom is going up (our families are also friends because of us) so there is another support right there.

9 weeks, 5 days clean.
 
That's amazing progress phactor!!

I have never been to Alaska, take some pictures of the wildlife if you're able to!! <3

I have 218 days off suboxone today <3
 
*sigh* one minute hopeful, the next I"m down...

I found out today that my dose dropped to 20 (from 22) yesterday... no wonder it felt like it wasn't as strong yesterday, I thought I was tripping. I guess my counselor put the order in - I have no idea why he dropped me two at once, I wouldn't have done that, but since it's the 2nd day already I'm just going to stay here. Thing is though, I can definitely feel the difference, even though the nurse said "oh you shouldn't feel a 2 mg drop". Maybe not if I was at 50, no, but I'm on 22, so 2 mg is around a ten percent drop. YES I feel it. Really really down.... I feel like crying but I have to take my phone to Apple in a little bit cos there's something wrong with it and I don't want to ruin my makeup.

I hate this feeling, so much. I just feel like my life is empty and there's nothing good in it and nothing is ever going to work out, and I have no one. I hope I stabilize on this dose soon.
 
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