Lucky to survive that friend, plenty wouldn't have
Am gonna tell you this, please don't be cross.
Even before reading this post, if anyone asked me who I thought the next candidate for The Shrine would be, I'd have gone for you
It's just something in your attitude/awareness/expression...more how you say what you say as opposed to the actual content...evocative of some kinda extreme sadness in you brother...don't fucking lose hope man
Not cross man.
You're not wrong though. There was alot of sadness last year. I lost 2 of my very best friends and 2 other close friends last year. One to non drug related stuff. 3 to opiates. Carried a coffin at one of the funerals. 2019 was a bad year for me death wise. This years been pretty shitty too, i walked away from a 2 year relationship with a girl i still loved. Dealt with it by injecting k at every opportunity.
My real best friend died 12 years ago this xmas eve, due to alcohol, we were 20, i carried his coffin too. That really screwed me up tbh. I had counseling back then and was put on anti depression pills but didnt stay on them long.
Drugs are my escape from reality. Probably why i love ketamine so much. I admit I must like to push boundaries. Not recommended.
There is alot of other shit gone/going on too but i think I've said enough already.
The time of the 2 combos i posted i was unhappy in a relationship and also heavily heavily dependent on benzos. I very rarely touch them thesedays, nearly died coming off of them years back.
I aint headed to the shrine yet. I've thought about suicide so many times. But i really dont want to die before my parents. I would hate to do to them what I've seen my dead mates do to theirs.
I have understood recently after a few comments that the way i post in the lounge is defo not pro-harm reduction. I think maybe i will start a blog or maybe book.
Sometimes i think i feel that if i document my use, IF i did die, at least people would know why.
Although now I'm saying that, no one on here knows my real name, and im only logged in on my phone, which has a pin lock no one knows, so even if i did die, my username couldn't be connected to me :/
But yeah, i aint going out yet. Not intentionally anyway. And i dont fuck with benzos/opiates/gbl/pharmaceuticals/any drugs that you can OD on (unless you count alcohol) thesedays. Only ket. And me and CH worked out id have to do something like 44g in one hit to die from that, lol.
I dont want to die. I just like to bury my head in the sand quite alot.
Anyway thats enough de-railing. Lets hear some more mad combos lol
