• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: axe battler | xtcgrrrl | arrall

Is it ok for my girlfriend to talk to the guy she was once interested in before me?

I

iLoveLucy999

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 28, 2015
Messages
31
Hello all :D has been a whille since i have visited the bluelight universe.

I am having a bit of a dilemma...

My girlfriend of two years is wanting to talk to the guy that she was interested in before we started dating. this guy happens to be my bestfriend. they were not dating or anything but she had a thing for him and were talking at one point. but then she somehow ended up with me and for two years we have loved eachother dearly but recently we have started to develop problems in our relationship

she has been wanting to start talking to him and it really irritates me that she is wanting to do that because i do not know her intentions because of the way things have been going for us lately and i do not know what will happen.

I was wondering if you guys can help me out and tell me what i should do or tell me if there is anything to worry about.

Thank you all
 
I would be very uncomfortable, and tell her that. If you have been dating for two years than it is okay to be honest about how you feel. What she chooses to do with that information is on her. It will show her level of respect for you. In my opinion, there is no reason for her to talk to him.
 
I think anyone would feel uncomfortable in this situation. But yeah I would definitely make it clear to her how you feel about it. As I am sure she would be upset if you wanted started talking to one of her friends for no reason. It's been two years so I wouldn't assume the worst, and she should understand and back off. Just don't make her feel like you are accusing her of anything, or are just trying to be controlling as that could make things worse.
 
Thank you all for responding

i must add more detail as i feel it will add more insight into the situation and maybe see the situation in a different way...

in the beginning of our relationship i had noticed that she still had him as a friend on snapchat and i showed her that it bothered me and she had asked me if i wanted her to delete him and i said no at first but then later in our relationship i had told her yes that i did want her to delete him... she had gotten mad that i told her to delete him and just the other day she tried to add him back...

i am curious about your guys' thoughts on this as well... was i being too controlling? did she have a right to try and add him back with the intention of speaking to him again?
 
Tell her you are not ok with it and open up honestly and transparent. If she has an issue with that then you know right at that moment she is in to him. If she loves you she should be fine with your request. Hell I would demand it. Even going to your friend and telling him not to wouldn't work cuz she still may have thoughts and feelings. Tell her to cut the bs so you can figure out who she is actually interested in
 
Be honest.

Why is it a big deal if they are friends on some sort of social media? To say "no" to that, it makes you rather controlling, yes.

Also telling someone they can't talk to someone else is controlling. Talking to someone doesn't mean you have to have intentions. If you trust her, then just trust her.
 
llama112 said:
Be honest.

Why is it a big deal if they are friends on some sort of social media? To say "no" to that, it makes you rather controlling, yes.

Also telling someone they can't talk to someone else is controlling. Talking to someone doesn't mean you have to have intentions. If you trust her, then just trust her.
Click to expand...

this

your controlling attitude might push her into his arms..

i hate people trying to control me and will not tolerate it
 
...and this is why you don't engage in serious relationships with somebody who dated/was interested in your best friend. You shouldn't have to worry about your girlfriend and best friend doing things behind your back. If anything, they should be able to have a healthy friendship and speak with one another.
 
pofacedhoe said:
this

your controlling attitude might push her into his arms..

i hate people trying to control me and will not tolerate it
Click to expand...

Agreed, if you're meant to be with each other you just have to trust that. Not try and cut off avenues from your girlfriend that could potentially lead to the unfortunate realization that she'd rather be with someone else.

Thankfully my bf is not the least be controlling nor am I with him. If he talks to other girls, which he does. That's fine. If he discovers there's someone he'd rather be with than me. Id rather know about it and break up than live a lie.

That's my perspective. It's fine for you to be concerned. It's fine to be worried. It's natural to worry you may lose someone you love. I won't deny I've had those fears. But you can't act on them by trying to be controlling. Those fears are our problems not our lovers.
 
bait troll much?

op ignore bullshit and stop trying to overcontrol things cos it could backfire
 
pofacedhoe said:
bait troll much?

op ignore bullshit and stop trying to overcontrol things cos it could backfire
Click to expand...
ahh i see... i suppose i was being a bit controlling... ther are times when i feel she just wants to talk to him to get revenge for certain things that i have done to her... because she knows that it very much bothers me
 
She says that she is interested in him but not in a romantic way. What do you guys think of that??
 
iLoveLucy999 said:
She says that she is interested in him but not in a romantic way. What do you guys think of that??
Click to expand...

what other way can you be interested in someone? Ditch the partner keep the best friend IMO.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top