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Invited Friend to Party, verge of flaking now wants to come... Help!

I think you did the right thing. If you were going on multiple dates, holding hands but not developing further, it was not creepy in the slightest to lay your feelings out there. At worse she has to admit to friend zoning you, at best she questions here own feelings towards you and decides if she doesn't want to lose you she has to commit.

The creepy thing to do would be to cut her off completely because she doesn't want more than a plutonic relationship. If you guys are great friends, but she doesn't want more than that, then you must accept that and move on, but it doesn't mean you have to ignore her or not hang out. You simply have to act like a normal friendship, and set boundaries from your end that empower you. Don't let her cock tease you. In time she may change her feelings towards you, but there should come with some relief now you don't have to second guess your every move around her
 
Sticky Green said:
No, it was the right move. Do you feel better about the situation now?
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Yea much better! She know for sure where I stand now. I realized you can try so hard sometimes and do what you have to do, then you fail. Looking back, It made me realize how much time I wasted. It was quite an experience to say the least as I've never been in a situation as this. But I also realized how unattractive she is as well. There are many women out there for awesome guys who would have a kick ass time dating you and reciprocating what you give. Another problem I discovered was that I was faced with picking and choosing what I want more from her.

Our so called friendship or a sexual relationship. Now that she knows where I'm at it's best to just step off. She tried to thank me via Instagram on a photo she snapped an posted that day. She also texted me the same night we hung out last week but I didn't respond to either. While it may be cold of me to just back off and not talk to her right now, I think I can give it a bit until she can absorb everything that happened. But one thing is for sure, I wouldn't even attempt to date her at this point.
 
Hey all! Now I know what you might be thinking "this dude serious!" Well yeah, I'm feeling a bit bad about this situation that went down after I told my friend I was attracted to her. I pretty much cut her off an haven't spoken or heard from her since. The last time I heard from her was the night afterwards thanking me for the date and having a good time. I ignored the text. She then reached out to me that same day on Instagram and tried to thank me which I also ignored. I'm wondering if at this point I'm being a dick or just the right thing but cutting ties. I feel a bit messed up that I pretty much cut her off because of what happened. I feel like our friendship was worth a bit more to me than wanting to just hook up with her. What do you all do in these situations. Do you try to connect and talk about what happened or just say screw it. I'm not one to be an A-hole to anyone and don't want to loose friends in the process. However, I may have already did.
 
Has she reached out at all since the Instagram thing? If not, don't worry about it. You're only being mean if she tries to continue the friendship and you ignore her.

I'm trying to think about this situation using my own experience, since I have a male friend who recently pulled this same move on me. Shutting you down sexually doesn't mean she necessarily wants the friendship to end, it means I don't see you that way so stop hitting on me.
 
queenbee1127 said:
Has she reached out at all since the Instagram thing? If not, don't worry about it. You're only being mean if she tries to continue the friendship and you ignore her.

I'm trying to think about this situation using my own experience, since I have a male friend who recently pulled this same move on me. Shutting you down sexually doesn't mean she necessarily wants the friendship to end, it means I don't see you that way so stop hitting on me.
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No no direct contact via text or phone after that. She liked a photo of mine on Instagram today, but I ignored it. Funny if your friend pulled that on you. I guess you can gain from my experience haha. Now your guy is probably thinking this "if she doesn't see me this way then I'm wasting my time". In a way he is and I am as well because it's sorta torturing yourself. That's why polarizing is best in these situations. Just spill it out and express how you feel. Do you not flirt with this friend of yours at all? My friend totally made moves on me first.

We held hands a lot flirt. Shame on chicks who do this to guys. If you ask me they do it for validation. It just reminds me how much I'm not so attracted to her. He's more than likely loose his attraction towards you and find someone who will fulfill his desires. Only then you and my friend may start playing BS games again. HA... You were the one talking shit earlier. Only now your in a similar situation. Pfff
 
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Anyone suggested the old fashioned approach? Dick picks to her and her daughter, first one up the stairs...
 
rollsolo said:
I guess you can gain from my experience haha. Now your guy is probably thinking this "if she doesn't see me this way then I'm wasting my time". In a way he is and I am as well because it's sorta torturing yourself. That's why polarizing is best in these situations. Just spill it out and express how you feel. Do you not flirt with this friend of yours at all? My friend totally made moves on me first.
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I have *nothing* to gain from your experience...yes, he is wasting his time and I shut him down immediately - no flirting back, no mixed signals.

rollsolo said:
He's more than likely loose his attraction towards you and find someone who will fulfill his desires. Only then you and my friend may start playing BS games again. HA... You were the one talking shit earlier. Only now your in a similar situation. Pfff
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He definitely should lose his attraction to me, that's the entire point of showing that I'm not interested. The woman you were with sounds as sociopathic as you do. I'm still talking shit, and I still think you're a dull moron for letting the situation even get to the point that it did.

All I was trying to point out by bringing up a similar situation I'm in was that friendship doesn't have to be lost just because there isn't a mutual physical attraction. I fully intend on staying friends with this guy who has expressed feelings for me, although I am completely clear that I don't feel that same way back.
 
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