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Invited Friend to Party, verge of flaking now wants to come... Help!

R

rollsolo

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 20, 2014
Messages
152
Hey all,


So I was invited to an event tomorrow night and caped at 4 guest total... two of my business partners and his girlfriend. I also invited a friend of mine who I'm trying to hookup with who is a friend I'm trying to get out of the friendzone with and close. Last time we hung out which was Halloween there was serious kino going on but didn't close due to logistics. So I invited her out to this event tomorrow night like the beginning of the week. This was the text conversation from a few days ago...


Tuesday's Text


Hey how goes!, how'd your weekend turn out?
Today at 12:22 PM
Really nice went to movies hair stuff... :wink:
Today at 12:33 PM


Nice! what'd you go see?
Today at 12:43 PM
John wick...so good
Today at 12:46 PM


Nice, that Dracula film looks pretty solid. We should get into that.
Today at 1:08 PM
What's your schedule this week look like...
Today at 1:11 PM
Friday I got an invite to a event at a cool spot in the city from 6 to 8. Come with, should be a good time?
Today at 1:11 PM


Not sure why she didn't get back but a couple days later I text her to confirm what the deal was and if she was going. She said she was undecided so I said well, I'd like for you to come, I think you'll have a good time. I said I put her down at the venue just let me know. I then realized she was kinda flaking out so this is what was recommended I do...



Todays Text


Me: Hey change of plans, had to take your name off the list at the venue. Hope you don't mind.
12:48pm


Her: I do...why? I can't go... :oops:
Today at 1:17 PM


Her: Are you upset...pls don't be
Today at 1:18 PM


Her: My bugdet is off too
Today at 1:20 PM


Her: Plus I didn't bro g appropriate clothes... :oops:
Today at 1:21 PM


Her: Bring
Today at 1:22 PM


Her: Where is the venue?
Today at 1:22 PM


Her: Feel like a wreck this week... :)
Today at 1:22 PM


Her: I need a bike... :?
Today at 1:22 PM


Her: :evil: ... lol
Today at 1:52 PM


Her: ... it might be kool to meet here in bklyn where I am and migrate on wheels to anywhere...
Today at 1:57 PM


This all just happened, not sure how to turn this around. Do you think I should just be straight up and say well you were unsure so I took you off due to an invite cap, continue ignoring her until next week or re-invite and try to make the close in a private location after the party? Could use advice not sure what the best call is, I've been wanting to sleep with her for a while now and can't get it off my mind lol. Feeling a bit bad about un-inviting her but felt it was the best move to gain control as was suggested. Keep in mind, this girl is a bit weird and inside her head often. However, that doesn't change the way you treat people.
 
Just tell her that the invites were limited an quite popular but you'll probably blow it off early as it wouldn't be the same without her. Then suggest another venue to head to after
 
One Thousand Words said:
Just tell her that the invites were limited an quite popular but you'll probably blow it off early as it wouldn't be the same without her. Then suggest another venue to head to after
Click to expand...

Hmm, good call but doing this might make me loose my frame.
 
rollsolo said:
Feeling a bit bad about un-inviting her but felt it was the best move to gain control as was suggested. Keep in mind, this girl is a bit weird and inside her head often. However, that doesn't change the way you treat people.
Click to expand...

Whoever suggested this was right.

Notice how she didnt even bother to reply after you said you would put her name on the venue, she didnt need too.. because she had you, she was keeping her options open.. but the moment you took control of the situation and took her name off, she panicked.. because if you are in the friendzone as you said she probably didnt expect you to do what you did.. i mean look at how many messages she sent you after that.. lol.

Don't re-invite her.. it will just undo the work of having actually regained control because she will see she can persuade you..

I would wait for her to pursue you and suggest meeting up, and then tell her your busy that day and suggest another day and place, and i guarantee she will say ok. That way, your always maintaining control and the direction of the situation which makes it's easier if your intention is to get together with this girl.
 
malakaix said:
Whoever suggested this was right.

Notice how she didnt even bother to reply after you said you would put her name on the venue, she didnt need too.. because she had you, she was keeping her options open.. but the moment you took control of the situation and took her name off, she panicked.. because if you are in the friendzone as you said she probably didnt expect you to do what you did.. i mean look at how many messages she sent you after that.. lol.

Don't re-invite her.. it will just undo the work of having actually regained control because she will see she can persuade you..

I would wait for her to pursue you and suggest meeting up, and then tell her your busy that day and suggest another day and place, and i guarantee she will say ok. That way, your always maintaining control and the direction of the situation which makes it's easier if your intention is to get together with this girl.
Click to expand...

Thanks malakaix

Short Update

She texted my back this morning after my last response yesterday evening. It's about 9 a.m. here, this tells me she's obviously been thinking about it. Especially this morning. Here's what she said...


My last text yesterday:
Hey... was in studio. (her name), you were unsure so I removed you from the list.
Today at 5:39 PM.


This morning's text:
Her: It's ok... Enjoy yourself... what's name of event?
Today at 8:48 AM


So from this point on, I'll go cold until mid next week and reach out with a totally different perspective lol. Any openers you can offer on how to start the convo for next week. I obviously don't want to answer her question here so what would you recommend? Also, this is kinda fun hahaha.
 
Go cold? He who hesitates, masturbates

If you are truly destined for the friend zone, waiting and playing games won't improve things. Man up and ask her out or move on.
 
^ yep.

rollsolo, i have two thoughts:

1. stop playing games

2. call (don't text) her and tell her what you want.

alasdair
 
alasdairm said:
^ yep.

rollsolo, i have two thoughts:

1. stop playing games

2. call (don't text) her and tell her what you want.

alasdair
Click to expand...

Solid advice here from Ali and OTW.

I'm not big on texting either. I know it's what this generation does, but texting takes the human side out of the equation and makes it more like a game. There is so much more that you are able to learn from a woman's voice than you can by guessing the meaning behind a few texts.
 
One Thousand Words said:
Just tell her that the invites were limited an quite popular but you'll probably blow it off early as it wouldn't be the same without her. Then suggest another venue to head to after
Click to expand...

fuck that, you'll look like a fucking pussy.

edit: my bad misread, didn't see the word AFTER
 
Last edited:
Is this the same girl as all your other threads?

You need to stop obsessing over every text and minute it takes her to respond. If I was this girl, I would get sick of your games pretty fast.
 
I agree that calling would be the best way to handle this. In fact, most of the times she contacted me was via phone call not text. I should just do the same.
 
queenbee1127 said:
Is this the same girl as all your other threads?

You need to stop obsessing over every text and minute it takes her to respond. If I was this girl, I would get sick of your games pretty fast.
Click to expand...
This. Nothing screams desperation more. I would run for the hills.
 
Maybe rollosolo "my hommie" just really likes the girl & wants it to work out.

Maybe he's not crazy weird stalkerish desperate.

He's just a good boy, with a good heart, with the right intentions :)

What's wrong with that! Is anyone here with me!


Rollosolo, you need an avatar! I'm an advocate of the avatar featuring "Butthead." It would be so funny because you would have Beavis & Butthead posting on the forum!
 
Teabag Johnny said:
Maybe rollosolo "my hommie" just really likes the girl & wants it to work out.

Maybe he's not crazy weird stalkerish desperate.

He's just a good boy, with a good heart, with the right intentions :)

What's wrong with that! Is anyone here with me!


Rollosolo, you need an avatar! I'm an advocate of the avatar featuring "Butthead." It would be so funny because you would have Beavis & Butthead posting on the forum!
Click to expand...

On with the avatar, that would be super fun. So a few things have been happening since the last text her saying she was uninvited. I'll start with the text and then I'll tell you how I feel about it and then ask you all what you think would be best to do from here...

After I uninvited her a week later 11/20/14

Her: Hi (Name!).
Today at 11:34 AM

Me: Hey! How are you?
Today at 4:45 PM

Her: Ok! Thinking of stocking up on vitamins...winter makes you tired...
Today at 5:06 PM

Me: Yeah it's also that kinda of weather. Hot chocolate and devour the sweets.
Today at 5:21 PM

Her: Yeah...but what if you have a big butt to begin with...
Today at 5:31 PM

Her: I'll work on it!
Today at 5:31 PM

Her: You know...I'm thinking of taking a spin class until I get a bike
Today at 5:32 PM

Her: It's such a gorgeous night...coffee shop chilling out and reading a book
Today at 5:34 PM

Me: Hibernation season ya know, crawl in there... your butt will thank you later lol. It is a nice night out, not to brisk, good night to walk.
Today at 5:42 PM

Her: It sure is...
Today at 5:54 PM

Her: We should go for a smoothie soon...
Today at 6:00 PM

Me: That sounds good, what's your schedule look like mid. next week?
Today at 7:11 PM

Her: Want to do something wed or Thursday
Today at 7:16 PM

Me: Next Wednesday would be perfect...
Today at 8:00 PM

Her: Ok
Today at 9:43 PM

I was pretty stoked that she pursued and got back to me. Especially after uninviting her. Now check this out. I text her the day before we were supposed to meet...

11/25/14

Me: Hey, meet at X location at 5:00 P.M.
Today at 1:50 PM

Her: Ok sounds great!
Today at 2:15PM

11/26/14 Text exchange

Her: Bad news don't have to work tomorrow so I have to leave today with my mom...was staying till tomorrow but my place where I stay is not gonna be available for tomorrow...sorry
frown.png
forgive a friend.
Today at 11:17 AM

Me: Have fun then, catch you another time instead.
Today at 12:50 PM


So this is pretty much where I'm currently at. Not sure what to do but hang back until she initiates again, although I think she may not. But part of me doesn't feel like waiting and I was thinking of just shooting her a text or call tomorrow. However, I'm also thinking she just lacks interest in meeting or else she would have made rearrangements after she couldn't make it. Now I'm not wrapped around the fact that she bailed because it was right before the holiday and a crappy day out. I mean I would of been game to go out in the rain but it was pretty bad out. Now most of you would probably just say next her or just wait until she reaches back. I've known this girl for some time and we're so called friends. I feel like I may have an advantage here to reach out since she just says we're friends. Once we schedule something and I lock a day down that works for me I'll then just man up, balls out, wolfpack style and just really display that I'm into her by subtle kino techniques, showing her a good time and eventually hooking up.

And in terms of being desperate that isn't the case at all. I have a couple of solid female friends who are beautiful and that I hang with once and a while. I meet women and hookup with them when I feel like the time is right. I don't really go to hard but more of with the flow jiu jitsu style. This girl is a little bit different and I don't think it's by coincidence that we're attracted to each other. I do however think she may have an issue with my age at 30 and her being 41. She probably thinks I just want to bang her at this point ha. Anyway any solid advice very much appreciated.
 
She sounds a little too busy to be into a relationship. I'd say either be blunt and say,' lets got out for a date' or ask her if she wants a relationship now? Games can be long and annoying.
 
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