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In College and Can't Get Girls

M

Michael_25

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
703
This is my 3rd year in college and to date I have not managed to "hook up" with any girls. Hell, not even a kiss or a hug. I'm not going for model-looking girls either, a 6/10 is fine since I'm around that range. Seriously, how do you do it? I talk to girls during my classes at times but I can tell they're not interested. How do you approach a girl when they don't even look at your face as you pass by? I don't get girls.

I'll admit that my social skills aren't great. But I'm not autistic or lie within the autism spectrum. I think the thing is that there about 30 guys interested in a decent-looking girl. So the girl can choose the cream of the crop. While little average me gets rejected. I've only ever asked a girl out twice during my three years. Both stated that they have boyfriends. How can I turn this around? I haven't had sex in 3 and a 1/2 years now. And seeing these slim girls with DD tits is just tantalizing.
 
First off, you say that you've asked 2 girls out in 3 years, then ask how to turn it around.
Well that part is logical enough, you need to ask more women out.

As unfortunate as it is for some men (like myself) women still tend to wait for the man to approach them, so if you've really only approached 2 for a date then it's no suprisingly really that 2/2 said no.

Why are you only 6/10? If weight has anything to do with it, try getting into shape.

Aside from going to classes, what social functions do you attend that would give you a chance to hang out with women? Anything where you see the person for more than a semester at a time?

You might also try a hookup app like tinder

Try getting to know some of the girls you see regularly on a personal level, maybe try asking some if they have any friends looking for a romantic partner. Be funny, girls love funny
 
ChipTrippyFox said:
First off, you say that you've asked 2 girls out in 3 years, then ask how to turn it around.
Well that part is logical enough, you need to ask more women out.

As unfortunate as it is for some men (like myself) women still tend to wait for the man to approach them, so if you've really only approached 2 for a date then it's no suprisingly really that 2/2 said no.

Why are you only 6/10? If weight has anything to do with it, try getting into shape.

Aside from going to classes, what social functions do you attend that would give you a chance to hang out with women? Anything where you see the person for more than a semester at a time?

You might also try a hookup app like tinder

Try getting to know some of the girls you see regularly on a personal level, maybe try asking some if they have any friends looking for a romantic partner. Be funny, girls love funny
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Hey ChipTrippyFox, thanks for the reply.

The only reason I asked those two girls out is because they sat beside me in class and became VERY chatty with me so I misconstrued that for romantic interest. You see, I can't really "approach". I need indicators of interest, which I do NOT get. Girls don't even look at me as I walk by.

I'm 6'2" and 204 lbs. I have hobbies, but they often don't have many female members and the ones that are there already have a BF. And the single ones are a sight for sore eyes (not to be nasty).

I've tried Tinder and only ever got matched with obese women (I swipe right to everyone). Dunno dude, doesn't asking a girl if she has any single friends who want a relationship come off as somewhat desperate? I really don't know how to develop a rapport with females. When I talk to them, I drill them like a Gestapo officer.

EDIT: I'm in reasonable shape but my face isn't aesthetic. Nothing I can do about that.
 
Michael_25 said:
Hey ChipTrippyFox, thanks for the reply.

The only reason I asked those two girls out is because they sat beside me in class and became VERY chatty with me so I misconstrued that for romantic interest. You see, I can't really "approach". I need indicators of interest, which I do NOT get. Girls don't even look at me as I walk by.

I'm 6'2" and 204 lbs. I have hobbies, but they often don't have many female members and the ones that are there already have a BF. And the single ones are a sight for sore eyes (not to be nasty).

I've tried Tinder and only ever got matched with obese women (I swipe right to everyone). Dunno dude, doesn't asking a girl if she has any single friends who want a relationship come off as somewhat desperate? I really don't know how to develop a rapport with females. When I talk to them, I drill them like a Gestapo officer.

EDIT: I'm in reasonable shape but my face isn't aesthetic. Nothing I can do about that.
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You seem to be preoccupied with looks and the physical aspect of relationships. Do you feel that you have no personality or that you are a boring person?

What would you say your top 10 personality traits are?
What are your top 10 interests in life?
What are you looking for in a woman's personality and interests?

I think you need to learn how to be on less socially awkward in general and work on learning how to develop and maintain platonic relationships before you should even think about romantic relationships.
 
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when you talk to girls, do you show interest in her as a person / are you actually interested in women because of their personality? I mean looks are important and it's fine to have preferences, but you seem to be only looking for "getting laid". women appreciate it if a man is looking for more than just getting his dick wet.
 
Do you go out to places to meet women besides classes like bars, cafes, a gym, or places you like to go that are not classes? Are you looking for sex, or to date a woman?
 
If you are looking for easy sex then just hire an escort, they will be far hotter than any girl on university campus.

If instead you're looking for a partner then I would suggest to simply act confidently, be friendly and also funny since girls like to have a good laugh.
That's the best advice I can give
 
Al12 said:
If you are looking for easy sex then just hire an escort, they will be far hotter than any girl on university campus.

If instead you're looking for a partner then I would suggest to simply act confidently, be friendly and also funny since girls like to have a good laugh.
That's the best advice I can give
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This, TBH, I see no indication in your posts that you are interested in a real relationship, so might as well pay for it, it's more reliable, and in today's Internet age isn't even really shady anymore, just transactional as all hell. If you're interested in something more than transactionality, then you really need to revise your whole attitude and I'm honestly not the guy to give you advice on that, I'm a chronic fuckup an a degenerate alcoholic/drug addict and that has really damaged my prospects. If you are the same, and if you are a bluelighter, the chances aren't bad that you are the same, so yeah, please don't subject some college girl to that. I didn't, or well, I did once, it ended badly, I feel terrible to this day. Hit up backpage (*does bluelight's no-sourcing rule include whores?) and be done with it if you are after some sex, if you want something deeper than like others have said, self-improvement, working out, meditation, quitting drugs, whatever it is, do it.

The fact that you are giving numbers "6/10" or whatever to the desirability to your partners isn't a good sign BTW.
 
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Just play the numbers game and start asking as many girls out as possible. Just remember, it's fairly common for even the good lookin' alpha type males to get rejected a fairly decent amount of the time. Even if you can score a 10% success rate, you can at least date 5 girls a year if you only ask one girl out a week out.

Also remember, women are very complex creatures, and they can come up with many reasons why they shouldn't date you. That's just the way it is. Women are wired a certain way, and I could explain to you why, but that's a whole another topic. Yes, women can be picky, don't take it personal. The sensitive nice guys let it get to them, and the confident men don't.

Over time, with experience, you'll become a confident man. Then, you can date all the 6 & 7's you want, and a few 8's & 9's, and maybe even a 10 :) It's very important for you to start throwing yourself out there..... like right now..... Start gaining the experience points like your a character in a video game.

Yes, picking-up women is very much like playing a video game. It gets really easy once you figure women out. To be honest, they're really not that complicated.

And another thing, you need to talk to ugly women and men also, and develop your social skills. Social skills is probably the best thing to have. Even more than power & money. I'd explain why, but that's a whole another topic.

Develop your social skills, charm, and humor. Be confident & genuine (not arrogant), and you'll go a long way my bud. Even if you're like a 4 or a 5.
 
Teabag Johnny said:
Start gaining the experience points like your a character in a video game.
.
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This caught me off gaurd and I LOLed

TB johny is right though, if you ask enough, surely one of them will be flattered enough to go out with you.

I also encourage you to check out a website called FetLife. It is BDSM centric FB style sexual social media site, but you can use it to simply find others who are looking for casual or NSA/non exclusive sex. If you have some extra fetishes that you want to try and get in there, all the more power to you. My ex and I have met several people through that site; some of which we had considered being sexual with but that never happened for various reasons. Perhaps it would work well for you also. It is unlike apps like tinder which is based a lot on first appearences, where as FL you can talk to people in groups.
 
SKL said:
This, TBH, I see no indication in your posts that you are interested in a real relationship, so might as well pay for it, it's more reliable, and in today's Internet age isn't even really shady anymore, just transactional as all hell. If you're interested in something more than transactionality, then you really need to revise your whole attitude and I'm honestly not the guy to give you advice on that, I'm a chronic fuckup an a degenerate alcoholic/drug addict and that has really damaged my prospects. If you are the same, and if you are a bluelighter, the chances aren't bad that you are the same, so yeah, please don't subject some college girl to that. I didn't, or well, I did once, it ended badly, I feel terrible to this day. Hit up backpage (*does bluelight's no-sourcing rule include whores?) and be done with it if you are after some sex, if you want something deeper than like others have said, self-improvement, working out, meditation, quitting drugs, whatever it is, do it.

The fact that you are giving numbers "6/10" or whatever to the desirability to your partners isn't a good sign BTW.
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I would not want to have sex with a hooker solely because it's unsavory and, I feel, that it is more like a business transaction than anything else. The girls are probably repulsed by the majority of their clients yet nevertheless do it for the $$$. I don't want that.

Now, everyone on here seems to think I just want to get laid ... partly true, but I would also like a relationship to do all that sentimental shit that seems trivial to most. I do work-out and I'm in reasonably good shape. But there is only so much you can polish a turd. My face is all fucked up, and I think that accounts for my lack of sex and relationships. Again, I'm not looking for a model, but there has to be some level of physical attraction shared mutually by both parties in order for the doggy style to happen (or a relationship to happen, which guarantees pussy on the reg).

Someone on here asked me about my 10 qualities: Tall, introverted, respectful, truthful, raging hard on, drug abuser (pretty much anything I can get my hands on. I like it all.) Non-sleazebag, chivalrous, thoughtful, compassionate .... the list goes on and on baby. Non of this shit matters though since I'm an ugly motherfucker and girls would rather fuck an ISIS member. Fuck my life.
 
What does it mean your face is all "fucked up" ? Usually the criteria for men to belong to the "attractive"-category are very different to those for women. You should learn, that different girls like different types of faces. Some of the hottest girls I know likes skinny dudes with beak-noses. If you look "cute" (like a teenager) and you cannot handle women you will never be treated as a man but as a puppet, that immature girls exploit as status symbol.

What works best is a (pretended) "I-dont-care" - attitude. You have to realize that you do not need a monogamic relationship (with a woman/man) in your life, it is just (amusing) noise.

Your problem is, your ideals are all messed up, because you did not manage to emancipate yourself from the methodical cooption (by media and state body), yet. Take less drugs and read more :)
 
Ziiirp said:
What does it mean your face is all "fucked up" ? Usually the criteria for men to belong to the "attractive"-category are very different to those for women. You should learn, that different girls like different types of faces. Some of the hottest girls I know likes skinny dudes with beak-noses. If you look "cute" (like a teenager) and you cannot handle women you will never be treated as a man but as a puppet, that immature girls exploit as status symbol.

What works best is a (pretended) "I-dont-care" - attitude. You have to realize that you do not need a monogamic relationship (with a woman/man) in your life, it is just (amusing) noise.

Your problem is, your ideals are all messed up, because you did not manage to emancipate yourself from the methodical cooption (by media and state body), yet. Take less drugs and read more :)
Click to expand...
When I say my face is all fucked up I don't mean my forehead takes up half my face, or that my nose is bent, I just think it's not symmetrical. You're right: I don't NEED a relationship with a girl. But it's human nature. Wanting sex is human nature. And when you haven't had it for 3.5 years, it becomes depressing. I see hot girls all around campus -- huge tits, tight waist ... the works. And it's frustrating, no, more than just frustrating, knowing that I can't bed these girls.

As I wrote earlier, I can't approach a girl without getting "you look cute and I want to talk to you" signals. I'm Mr Invisible. I'm what some say, an incel. A person who has failed to engage in a romantic relationship despite trying for 6 months or longer is called an "incel". Fuck. If I were getting laid once every six months that would be a HUGE step up. I've been an incel for 42 months now. You know how frustrating it is when you see guys with a hot babe with DD tits on his arm knowing that he will be getting fucked six ways from Sunday that night, that she'll be quivering and moaning as he thrusts up into her. That shit's painful to envision.
 
Lol, every face is asymmetric.

The less constructive argument :

Man you really seem to chase after indoctrinated ideals a lot. That is your number one problem. Just (literally) do not give a fuck. Hobbies are more important than girls. If you'd be a virgin, I'd understand the urgency. But in this situation you should see your celibacy period to mature out of those thought patterns.

The more constructive argument :

The easiest way to get to know nice girls is attending a mixed gender martial arts course. Even if you won't get laid, physical contact is likely.

An even easier way of getting to know (superficial) class-A-girls is a semester abroad.
 
SKL said:
I'm a chronic fuckup an a degenerate alcoholic/drug addict and that has really damaged my prospects. If you are the same, and if you are a bluelighter, the chances aren't bad that you are the same, so yeah, please don't subject some college girl to that.
Click to expand...

That's another option, go after your druggy chick counterparts :p. Right there you got something in common.

Tbh I think you're getting pretty good advice but it doesn't sound like you're comfortable following it.

Caring a lot less would help a lot probably. I doubt I would hypothetically date you for personality alone given what your attitude to women and physical appearance sounds like. I highly highly doubt I would give a shit or would refuse to date you because of what your face looks like.

You hear this shit from guys all the time, about how women won't date them cause of their appearance. And I think it's usually crap. Sure, some women are that shallow, but a lot aren't. I think it's an excuse to explain why they don't get chicks or laid or whatever without it being anything they can control. I would put a lot of money on a bet that the right person with your body could make picking up girls look effortless. And hey, try to see that as good news, that means you can change it and have what you want. Like I said, I think a lot of people here have given great advice. Better attitude, social skills, getting over your inhibitions. Inhibitions aren't always bad, but so often they can totally cause you to inadvertently screw yourself over. Find a way to meet more girls, interact with them more on a platonic level. Every relationship I've had has in one way or another begun fairly platonically rather than a guy picking me up. But that may be that I'm just not interested in guys I know purely by virtue of their interest in me. Better than acting like you don't care would be learning to legitimately not care. Not as in don't try, as in don't worry when it doesn't go your way. It's only a matter of time so long as you keep trying.

Good luck.
 
Michael_25 said:
This is my 3rd year in college and to date I have not managed to "hook up" with any girls. Hell, not even a kiss or a hug. I'm not going for model-looking girls either, a 6/10 is fine since I'm around that range. Seriously, how do you do it? I talk to girls during my classes at times but I can tell they're not interested. How do you approach a girl when they don't even look at your face as you pass by? I don't get girls.

I'll admit that my social skills aren't great. But I'm not autistic or lie within the autism spectrum. I think the thing is that there about 30 guys interested in a decent-looking girl. So the girl can choose the cream of the crop. While little average me gets rejected. I've only ever asked a girl out twice during my three years. Both stated that they have boyfriends. How can I turn this around? I haven't had sex in 3 and a 1/2 years now. And seeing these slim girls with DD tits is just tantalizing.
Click to expand...

The entire page was tl;dr but based off your original post I can completely relate to you brother. I was just like that in high school and some of college too. Shy, hungry for pussy, not good with girls and a bit under-confident. I went from not getting laid for 4 years after I lost my virginity to fucking a new chick(or two) every week to where I am now - settling down with one girl at a time and if things dont work out, being able to find a new one within a week. I don't have a ton of time to give you a pep talk so I'm gonna break this down for you nice and simple.

Option 1)
1a. Get your ass to the gym... If you want a girl that puts a ton of effort into her body then you need to do the same. Go 3 times per week, ideally.

1b. Buy yourself some new clothes, or at the very least start wearing something that fit you and dont have any stains, wrinkles, holes or tears.

1c. Start shaving every day, get a nice haircut, start styling your hair and take care of your damn body. No girl is gonna want a guy that's not hygienic.

2. If you're only approaching 1 girl per year you're doing something wrong. It sounds like you get nervous when it comes to talking to women. What you gotta do to fix that is any attractive girl you run into on the street, at school, at your local coffee shop - talk to them. It'll desensitize you to the whole thing. Start up a conversation with any and every girl you see on the streets that you find to be attractive and that is in your league within reason (if you're a 6 then approach girls that are 5's to 8's). Try to get their number if you can, if the answer is no don't be a creeper, just leave them alone.

3a. Getting a number: Just talk to these girls as if they are HUMAN BEINGS. a) Find something to start a conversation with them about: something you have in common, compliment them on something you noticed about their outfit or their hair/makeup (don't sound like a perv or a creeper!), b) maintain eye contact, smile, introduce yourself, c) try to flirt, tell a joke, banter a bit, ask about her, talk about stuff you have in common, d) *this is important* let her know that you think she is attractive by giving her a compliment (a "you're beautiful btw" will do) and what she says here is important. If she says you're good looking too then you're in, if she is hesitant to even thank you, something is wrong. Watch her body language to see if she is or isnt interested. She might tell you she has a bf here. e) If all is going well then just be straight up with them and ask if they would like to go out sometime or just ask for the number.

3b. Just walk up to them and say "I think you're pretty cute and am wondering if you'd like to go out sometime" - if the answer is yes, smile and ask for her number.

4. Talk to them as if you would anyone else. Hi how are you, what are you up to, ask about her, find stuff out, you know the drill. Secure a day for you guys to hangout and you're in.
 
^ OMG, you are waay too forward. I mean, just crazy. I don't recommend just straight up approaching girls like that in COLLEGE. I mean, everyone is there to study and learn. It's not a hook-up site like a club where that behavior would be appropriate.


Study groups! If you talk with girls during class, you can always if they want to get together and study. Either offer something you have, notes, etc if you know they missed a class, textbook, if they don't have one, etc. Or I guess you could ask to use their book while studying, etc.

Another way would be to just frequent the school library or popular studying places, etc local starbucks and whatnot. Spot a classmate? Sit next to them and start studying! After that, it'll be easier to coordinate future study groups if you're not a freak.

Goodluck!
 
I'm sorry you wasted 3 years asking out 2 girls lol. It's a numbers game bro

instead of asking out 2 girls in 3 years if you were to ask out 3 girls a week for 3 years you would have had success

times a wasting. Man up and just go for it. Even if your not that attracted to a girl get some practice in approaching.
 
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