Ya know, I was actually originally going to go with what a lot of folks here were saying, that you should basically go for it if you're def 100% sure you feel nothing for these people, but ya know what? I rescind that statement. The fact is that even if YOU feel nothing for these guys, as a male I also happen to know how males operate, and while chicks love to delude themselves about our intentions in the sage words of my 10th grade health teacher, if a guy goes out of his way to be friendly with a girl he's almost certainly at least somewhat attracted to her. So basically there's a fair chance these guys' aims will be to get in your pants and see you break up with your BF, and there's going to be alcohol involved which will lower your defenses, so that's already very problematic.
But that leads me to ask, why these people in particular? Don't you have any female friends, or any way to meet some female friends who don't have the potential to complicate things? Do you even WANT your defenses to be up? You've been going out of your way to talk to these people online despite the bazillions of people online...why? You're really totally sure it's not because you're feeling kind of insecure and rely on these guys for male attention? After all, some level of insecurity of various sorts almost always goes hand in hand with substance abuse issues (I'm not throwing stones, I say a lot of this because I know it firsthand. However I try not to lie to myself about why I have such a nagging desire for attention from females or why when a chick doesn't act interested, even if we had no chance of meeting for real, it bothers me so much)? People with self esteem problems tend to be much more likely to seek the attention and affection of multiple people, and it's real easy for those feelings of liking the attention to morph into romantic desire. That's exactly why, say, a therapist getting involved with a patient is such a significant breach of ethics; when someone is always there for someone else and they value their attention and affirmation that much, things can slip into questionable territory very very quickly.
Plus again, I am a male, and I really don't think too highly of males when it comes to our relationship with females. Lots of males have no problem at all playing the "Oh, I just want to be your friend!" card, biding their time until you let your guard down, working their way in until they find a weak point and then exploiting it. The fact is it can work that way with both genders, but at least usually females will tend to be more likely to just come out and say that they want you back. Males have no problem being backhanded and pathetic about it, because there are a lot of fucking shitty pathetic guys out there with no respect for themselves or anyone else, who are so wrapped up in their own insecurities and emotional issues that they don't give a fuck who they hurt in the process of trying to prove that they're "real" men by "conquering" whatever they view as a sexual target then moving on, since it's not like doing so will somehow cure their issues. It makes me angry just thinking about it.
But that's all the difficulty trying to assess a situation like this online. Just hearing it it sounds like so many times in the past where a guy was with a girl and she totally and completely guaranteed oh no, they're just friends, there's nothing going on there. He says "alright, I'm not her dad, and I trust her if she says it isn't like that!" and slowly but surely it becomes more and more apparent that it IS EXACTLY like that. Fucking exactly. Motherfucking exactly. At this point he tries to put the brakes on it and she basically tells him to go fuck himself if he doesn't want her spending time with this obviously romantically interested "friend" anymore, because at this point she's dependent on his attention too. I watched it happen to my brother, I've watched it happen at least once to everyone except 1, ONE single one of my friends with any significant dating history, and at this point anymore my natural inclination is to just not trust anyone when they claim they're going out of their way to hang out with someone of the opposite gender but oh no, they're just friends.
There is some tiny chance that that isn't the case obviously, if I knew you better I could say better, but being just words on a screen I'm throwing my vote in with the no people, but at the same time if my possibly insulting instinctual belief is correct if you're starting to get straying feelings, feeling like your BF's attention isn't enough and you need more males to give you support, you and your boyfriend aren't going to last long anyways. Either you deal with the underlying causes of the desire or the itch only gets stronger until it tears you and your SO apart, and if I'm again right and you aren't being honest with yourself about why you're really going out of your way to specifically keep talking with and wanting to hang out with your ex's, then you probably have little chances of realizing and addressing the underlying cause, so scratching the itch and screwing up your relationship is really all that's left.
I hope I'm wrong, and I sincerely apologize if I am. Like I said, it's nothing personal. I'm just going with past statistics here.
