"tacodude".
I know you and "Rio Fantastic", among some others, have had "disagreements" in this "Thread". I'm not one to "take sides" unless I see someone being grossly abused, given terrible advise, etc.
In his "Post" above, he has made some valid points which would be a bit difficult to argue with.
Actually, it seems he is understanding about how you feel, but is pointing out how all of us may feel "our own brand of suffering" is worse than anybody else's at times. If he told me that, I might not "Like It", but I couldn't honesty say he was wrong.
You DO seem "intelligent and perceptive", and the world could sure use more people who are.
More than once I've had moments where in a way I felt like "Nobody else can possibly be hurting as badly as this.", or, "Nobody else can be going through anything like this.".
There were also times I felt if one more person told me to just "Hang In There", I'd rip their freaking face off.
It's not necessarily you're fault you don't i
mmediately
think about the others who are hurting just as much, or worse, than you are when you're in severe pain.
The "Human Mind" is "wired" for self-preservation. In a way, it goes into a form of "Triage Mode" when we're in severe pain. We tend to focus on that pain, in order address whatever's causing it. If the pain is bad enough, it's not uncommon to somewhat seem as though nothing else matters. This may include others who are hurting, who would then become secondary, or even seem non-existent, in comparison to our own pain, at least until we get ourselves stabilized enough to where we're able to help them. It's kind of like "Human Neuropsychology 101".
So sometimes there's not much relief, if any, of our own pain and suffering, by knowing other people are going through something every bit as bad, and sadly, for many, something much worse.
But very many of them make it. I wish I could say all of them did, or do, but I've seen too much where there wasn't much hope. "Hands were tied", and it felt like the only thing left to do was to make them as comfortable as possible during their
last moments of life as mortal beings. They didn't want to die. They didn't have a choice. You do.
You are nowhere near the point where there's "not much hope". Sure, you might feel that way, but you're not. Don't be so fast to "write yourself off" as just another statistic. You're worth much more than that.
There's also the fact that we're all going to die sometime, whether we want to or not. Part of mortal life is death. Without getting into Religion, where we have our own personal beliefs, do you know exactly what's on "the other side"? Probably not. We'll all find out eventually. That day will come soon enough. Why rush it? That wouldn't even make a little sense. It's not like if you find out you don't like it you can turn around and come back. As bad as you may feel at times, "the other side" might even be every bit as bad, or worse. If that's the case, you better at least make absolutely every attempt to enjoy what you have, while you still have it.
I'm looking back over what I just wrote, and it might look like I'm just trying to "convince you" not to kill yourself. It's more than that. These are some of the things I've thought about for a very long time, and I'm only writing out "The Simple Version".
With all that being said, at times, living life "one day at a time", just might be the best way to live.
Please Keep In Touch.
R.