• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Hopeless If I get kicked out of my sober house I’ve decided im gonna kill myself

Honestly he seemed like he'd already made his mind up about using prison as rehab, at least I hope that's the reason he's not been on. He went so hard on every substance he tried, like to the point where it's past trying to get high. I remember he said he was going to a cabin in the woods to detox at one point, sad to see things deteriorate so quickly.
 
I keep seeing old posts from him and their making me sad :( I hope I’m just catastrophisizing, I have a tendency to do that

Does anyone know him in rl? I’m really concerned right now
 
polarthedog said:
I keep seeing old posts from him and their making me sad :( I hope I’m just catastrophisizing, I have a tendency to do that

Does anyone know him in rl? I’m really concerned right now
Click to expand...
Yeah I feel the same he hasn't logged in a month.
 
Hey guys I’m alive . However facing quite the array of criminal charges I just bailed out on $10,000 cash bail.

Got a month clean off everything feel pretty great but might be going to prison

Possession of cocaine (felony)
Possession of klonopin (felony)
Possession of fentanyl (felony)
Assault on a police officer (felony)
Resisting arrest (misdemeanor)

The fight goes on my friends. But I am in fact alive I’ve been reading Buddhism books in jail and I wrote a book on addiction I plan on publishing. I gotta go to rehab tomorrow court ordered and I think I’m still going to prison probably.

Spirits high though god bless what a ride it has been
 
OpiateKiller said:
Hey guys I’m alive . However facing quite the array of criminal charges I just bailed out on $10,000 cash bail.

Got a month clean off everything feel pretty great but might be going to prison

Possession of cocaine (felony)
Possession of klonopin (felony)
Possession of fentanyl (felony)
Assault on a police officer (felony)
Resisting arrest (misdemeanor)

The fight goes on my friends. But I am in fact alive I’ve been reading Buddhism books in jail and I wrote a book on addiction I plan on publishing. I gotta go to rehab tomorrow court ordered and I think I’m still going to prison probably.

Spirits high though god bless what a ride it has been
Click to expand...
Damn, dude. We are all glad you're still above dirt. Do you have access to a non-court appointed attorney? I'm guessing you'll be away from the interwebz for awhile. Try to keep us updated if possible.
 
OpiateKiller said:
Hey guys I’m alive . However facing quite the array of criminal charges I just bailed out on $10,000 cash bail.

Got a month clean off everything feel pretty great but might be going to prison

Possession of cocaine (felony)
Possession of klonopin (felony)
Possession of fentanyl (felony)
Assault on a police officer (felony)
Resisting arrest (misdemeanor)

The fight goes on my friends. But I am in fact alive I’ve been reading Buddhism books in jail and I wrote a book on addiction I plan on publishing. I gotta go to rehab tomorrow court ordered and I think I’m still going to prison probably.

Spirits high though god bless what a ride it has been
Click to expand...
We’re just glad your still with us man
 
OpiateKiller said:
Hey guys I’m alive . However facing quite the array of criminal charges I just bailed out on $10,000 cash bail.

Got a month clean off everything feel pretty great but might be going to prison

Possession of cocaine (felony)
Possession of klonopin (felony)
Possession of fentanyl (felony)
Assault on a police officer (felony)
Resisting arrest (misdemeanor)

The fight goes on my friends. But I am in fact alive I’ve been reading Buddhism books in jail and I wrote a book on addiction I plan on publishing. I gotta go to rehab tomorrow court ordered and I think I’m still going to prison probably.

Spirits high though god bless what a ride it has been
Click to expand...
Great to hear from you Killer. Rock that rehab out and let it help you. Maybe you can make an arrangement with an attorney and the Judge to divert your charges until next year. Show them you are committed to wellness ... even if it means staying in longer. If they see you are serious they might be willing to dismiss some of those charges ( luckily they are possession only ) and just have you stay in rehab longer to fulfill your incarceration requirements. I would rather see you spend 6 months in rehab than another day in jail or prison. Good luck man. We are all here for you. :heart3:
 
OpiateKiller said:
I’ve said this before but I really think im done trying to figure this all out. Im not looking for pity it’s just being entirely honest I’d be doing a lot of people a favor by taking myself out of the equation.

I just ate a bunch of klonopin and If my research is correct it won’t show up on the cup I take, it only reacts to oxazepam 300 ng so in theory klonopin and lorazepam wouldn’t pop.

If I get kicked out I think I’m just gonna take a final trip to the dope man and hang it up. I can’t keep fighting a losing battle and I can’t stay clean man. I’m tired of living like this. The only reason I caved to take the klonopin in the first place is I’m balls deep in phenibut withdrawal. It’s just been such a disaster of a life ever since I was 16 I’ve just fucked it all up so badly I’m not sure if I got a chance to do it all again I could even fuck my life up as bad as I have if I tried.
Click to expand...


I can relate to feeling like this and it would be unusual for anyone who has had a long history of being in the addictive cycle to not have this escape plan be a part of that cycle.

Youre not there, at that point of no return yet because you're still figuring out possible alternate directions your life can go.


Getting out of having a shitty life that makes you unhappy is very hard and there is no quick way to achieving it. Addicts are used to just taking a shot to have instant feels good so putting time into feeling averagely normal after the pain of detoxing doesn't sound worth it.

But it is, long term , eventually things do get better without having the need for drugs to make you feel good.

I hope you are going to find the strength to continue on and not give up, you won't get a do over.


I know that point of choosing death, it just happens no discussion or debate, my dad found me and I wouldn't want to put that on anyone, if anything your pain doesn't excuse what your death would do to your family.
 
polarthedog said:
I keep seeing old posts from him and their making me sad :( I hope I’m just catastrophisizing, I have a tendency to do that

Does anyone know him in rl? I’m really concerned right now
Click to expand...
Why the fk are ppl laughing at this? It's serious shit. He's struggling bad man. Makes me sad to have witnessed his Demise over the years. I care about everyone here(almost), makes me sad bro.
 
OpiateKiller said:
Hey guys I’m alive . However facing quite the array of criminal charges I just bailed out on $10,000 cash bail.

Got a month clean off everything feel pretty great but might be going to prison

Possession of cocaine (felony)
Possession of klonopin (felony)
Possession of fentanyl (felony)
Assault on a police officer (felony)
Resisting arrest (misdemeanor)

The fight goes on my friends. But I am in fact alive I’ve been reading Buddhism books in jail and I wrote a book on addiction I plan on publishing. I gotta go to rehab tomorrow court ordered and I think I’m still going to prison probably.

Spirits high though god bless what a ride it has been
Click to expand...
I love you brother, great news 😊💯💯💯💯
 
nznity said:
Some idiot who reacted, nvm. I just read he's still alive anyway. Good news 🥰
Click to expand...
I just scanned all the posts. I am almost positive the ONE laugh emoji on the first post is a mistake. I have hit the wrong emoji ( usually the angry face when I mean to hit the sad face ). Pretty sure all of us are behind him 100%. Even the poster that hit the wrong emoji.
 
nomorebenzos said:
Felony drug charges shouldn't even exist unless intent to distribute, even then it's debatable

What a shame :mad:
Click to expand...
Many times someone will get charged with possession, and if they have the drugs packaged separately, a scale, etc. they are charged with intent to distribute. I have also known people who were charged with distribution, delivery, criminal use of a communication network/facility if they attend school or university and use the school or university computers to deal drugs, email, text, call, etc.

Opiate Killer I am glad you are alive. Please get the best lawyer you can and tell the judge or whoever you are a polydrug addict who wants to get sober.
 
Last edited:
OpiateKiller said:
Hey guys I’m alive . However facing quite the array of criminal charges I just bailed out on $10,000 cash bail.

Got a month clean off everything feel pretty great but might be going to prison

Possession of cocaine (felony)
Possession of klonopin (felony)
Possession of fentanyl (felony)
Assault on a police officer (felony)
Resisting arrest (misdemeanor)

The fight goes on my friends. But I am in fact alive I’ve been reading Buddhism books in jail and I wrote a book on addiction I plan on publishing. I gotta go to rehab tomorrow court ordered and I think I’m still going to prison probably.

Spirits high though god bless what a ride it has been
Click to expand...
Thank God Comedy GIF by CBC
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top