• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Husband Hiding Oxy - HELP PLEASE!!!

He may or may not be cheating on you, but if he is.. most likely his gf is a pill junkie too. those pills are the devil... just throwing this out there... kratom can help people get off opiods.
those pills are strong! i never got hooked on opiates but i tried those blues couple times and its amazing good... so good you instantly know how bad it is... i known people who smoke/use 10-20 blues a day.. at 30$ + EACH pill thats freaking 600$ worth of blues a day. The pills used to be 15$ each but now they are super expensive at over 30$ per pop. The pills usually lead to worse drug use, like straight up heroin IV use or trying other drugs like meth or crack...
Focus on yourself and your kids, once you and the kids are distanced from him, you may or may not choose to help him.

Good luck, Hope you get through this soon!
 
People on here are just repeating themselves lol. I think at this point I would deal with your husband IRL, you are going to get lost in the situation if you lean on bluelight for this deep of an issue. Come here for advice or support but I really would try dealing with this more IRL for your own good, GL!
 
gwar822 said:
He may or may not be cheating on you, but if he is.. most likely his gf is a pill junkie too. those pills are the devil... just throwing this out there... kratom can help people get off opiods.
those pills are strong! i never got hooked on opiates but i tried those blues couple times and its amazing good... so good you instantly know how bad it is... i known people who smoke/use 10-20 blues a day.. at 30$ + EACH pill thats freaking 600$ worth of blues a day. The pills used to be 15$ each but now they are super expensive at over 30$ per pop. The pills usually lead to worse drug use, like straight up heroin IV use or trying other drugs like meth or crack...
Focus on yourself and your kids, once you and the kids are distanced from him, you may or may not choose to help him.

Good luck, Hope you get through this soon!
Click to expand...

My thoughts exactly! My heart breaks for you hon.
 
Man oh man,
the story of my life..

I'm not married, but I do have a gf.

My opiate usage has lead me to lie continuously to my family and loved ones.. it's probably the hardest thing to do as an addict, is admit that you're an addict.

Even though I've been caught with smoking heroin and popping pills, I still deny that I'm an addict, lol.

The strange part to me about this is, that the income hasn't changed... that tells/shows me that he's def. selling to feed his own habit, trust me I've been there countless times.

The cheating part to me is, honestly 50/50.. more on the lying side though.. because addicts will use ANY EXCUSE to go out and do their thing.. I don't THINK he's cheating, but it's def. a possibility..

I've pretty much used every lie in the book towards my addiction.. hope that tells you something..

Your housband def. needs help, and confronting him is just the beginning.. I hope for the best for the both of you.
 
Anyone think that this chick is supplying his addiction. Probably gets a fat script and doesn't use.
 
Sadwife1 said:
In reality, this sense of relief and these dashing thoughts of hope were all in my mind. He didn't even come close to telling me the truth that I was expecting to hear. Instead he dropped a bomb on me that I wasn't expecting at all - he told me that he was cheating on me and had fallen in love with someone else. WHAT???????
Click to expand...

Wow! The plot thickens!

Damn, what a story!
 
giphy.gif
 
H will find that bottle or get more that's not going to stop shit. Decide if you want to divorce him then go from there.
 
Sadwife, how are you holding up? I'm thinking like gwar822, the girlfriend is his drug buddy. This is a huge burden that you don't deserve. You have to take care of yourself and your little ones. If that means kicking him out, by all means do so.
 
He needs to hit bottom. Stay strong and look out for you and the kids. Believe me when I tell you, you have all the power right now. The courts and CPS don't look kindly on drug abuse. He won't even be allowed alone with the kid's. I know I wasn't! He won't stop until he is ready. It will get worse and his life will fall apart. It may not seem like it at first but in time he will lose everything. It's inevitable. Just be strong for you and the kids and if it were me after the affair, I would take it all! Hang in there and I am sorry you have to go through this. It just sucks.
 
Horrible advice in this thread right now about you "having all the power". Nothing has changed. You must still approach him with love and concern. I still dont see any evidence that you guys have had any kind of open honest communication. When is that going to happen?
 
We're here to support and by telling our honest experiences, hopefully it will help her. I don't agree with everything I've read so far either, especially those who are comparing what their doses are. I don't feel this is conducive to addressing her situation.
 
Hello Friends, my sincerest apologies for not updating this sooner. I have been reading all of the posts; your advice and prayers all mean so much to me. A giant THANK YOU to everyone that has taken an interest and showed support. It means more to me than you all could imagine.

Since I last wrote here, I've herb feeling better everyday. Although my whole situation is far more upsetting than I anticipated when I first found the pills, there is a sense of relief and closure having discovered what I believe to be the truth (that my husband is not only abusing oxycodone, but also sleeping with another woman...it's still hard for me to think this is my life I'm talking about).

For the time being, Im sticking it out with my husband to see how things develop. I have not forgiven him (not sure I ever will) but for the sake of my family, I'm going to see if he is able to make progress in the right diffraction before making any finite decision. I haven't spoken to my husband much since this was all uncovered because I want to see how serious he is about quitting the drugs (and the other woman) and starting to move in the right direction. It's too early to tell (probably because I'm completely blinded by the emotional rollercoaster of my life) whether he has made any progress over the last week, but if he is able to reduce his dosage on his own then I will do my best to support his efforts.

Another BL mentioned that only 2% of people succeed in systematically reducing their dosage, so I'm not holding my breath...But whether he succeeds or fails, it will give me time to evaluate how serious he is about trying to make things right. However, I refuse to let his addiction control my life. I don't plan on following him around or tracking his usage (unless he asks for help) because I've learned from others that this has to be something that he wants to do...not because he was caught and has an ultimatum.

So, I'm giving him a chance. No promises but he has the opportunity to do whatever he feels is necessary to keep his family, whether it be rehab, meetings, taper...etc.

Does this make sense? I'm trying to find a middle ground by allowing HIM to make the choice and not pressuring him for immediate answers. No enabling, no babysitting- just support in whatever way he feels necessary because I know it's important to let him make these choices. Perhaps I'm being naive in thinking that his mental capacity hasn't been compromised too much by the drugs?

I'm still lost, sad and scared but I've accepted the reality and trying to make the best choices with the shi**y options I have.

Sorry for rambling, but it's amazing how much "talking" to all of you helps in thinking through this mess.
 
Sadwife,

First, let me say how sorry I am that you are in this situation. It must seem so unreal.
Second, I know a lot of people have said many things, but not everyone understands what it is to be in a long marriage with children. I think you are really brave for trying to support him and not letting your feelings direct all of your decisions.

I think it's also really wise that you not direct his decision to quit, because like you and others have said, if it doesn't come from his heart, he has no chance of succeeding.

I pray for you, for strength and peace. Why do shitty things happen to good people? Don't know, but your grace and courage are amazing. Taking time to solve all of this is smart. I know that I would look deep and try to see if my husband was still in there somewhere.

We're for you, whatever you decide. I know you want to do what's best for your family, and sometimes that's hard to know. It's not like families come with a guidebook.

God bless.
 
Thank you all for such kind words, advice and support. Nothing new to report but I believe he has started to taper his usage. I'm not sure I believe it, but it's in his hands for the near future
 
I've been following this thread and I just feel inclined to post how empathetic/sympathetic I am for you Sadwife!!! You sound truly amazing and if ole boy doesn't recognize what a jewel he has based on how you've stated you reacted to all of this mind-blowing news, he will most definitely be the one with the greatest loss in the long run. It's such a beautiful thing to see a lady stand by her man despite such troubling behavior. He is truly blessed. Thoughts and prayers go out to you and I very much hope you both come out the other side even stronger!

-SK
 
I've been a long time lurker, but I've only posted a handful of times.

This thread has just interested me so much because I can relate so closely to this story ... only I am the husband ... but there was no other woman. Other than that, I can. definitely relate.

Things worked out for us ... but it's a ridiculously tough road. I know that when I was
in your husband's position, there was literally zero chance I could taper. I don't say that to discourage you in any way, but the reality is he is going to have a long, hard road.

I said I would taper..... yet, in my heart of hearts, I knew I couldn't quit .... and didn't even want to quit if I am being completely honest.

On the bright side, two years later we are together and doing well w our marriage and three kids
 
Not sure if this thread is dead or not, but should you ever come back, please take this serious;

You may want to ask yourself if there is a deep psychological reason for his addiction. Many people do not realize it themselves that psychological disorders/problems or traumas are the cause of their addiction. Trying out therapy will do no harm at all, only good can come from it. If there is a psychological problem, then he will not be able to quit without fixing it first.

Good luck!
 
Hello Friends,
I'm sorry for disappointing for so long. Since I last posted, my husbands best friend died from mixing oxycodone with other drugs and it FINALLY scared my husband sober. It wasn't easy to quit but he did it on his own and I truly trust that he's done with drugs...hopefully for good. We still have trust issues but it means a lot that he did this on his own. I pretty much gave him a pass while he was tapering and finally "jumped" off the drugs. He's been clean for several months and life is back to normal.

Thank you EVERYONE for you help along this hellish journey. I've come across some wonderful people, but I truly hope to never see this forum again (I will check back from time to time to see if I can be helpful to anyone going through the tough times I've endured)

Yours Truly,
Formerly SadWife1
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top