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Husband Hiding Oxy - HELP PLEASE!!!

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Sadwife1

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Joined
Feb 3, 2017
Messages
12
I don't quite know where to begin...I'm LOST! I don't know what to do and I need help (actually, my husband needs help). I'll start with the facts and hopefully I can get some feedback and advice...


Let me start by saying I absolutely LOVE my husband. We are high school sweethearts and have been married for 10 years, have 4 kids and have always been best friends. We have a wonderful life together...or so I thought.


About a year ago I started to notice my husband changing...working longer hours and not really present when he's home - always running out to do some useless errand and refusing to bring the kids along for the ride. I didn't think much of it until I started smelling cigarettes on him. He was a social smoker in college, but gave it up years ago as he matured. Although he has denied smoking, it was pretty clear to me that he was lying (which breaks my heart) so I decided to look through his things. Although I didn't find any cigarettes, I came across a bottle that was FILLED with little blue pills. I continued to act on my sleuth skills and used google to find out they are "oxycodone". What??? Seriously??? I know nothing about this drug, other than the horror stories I have heard on the news.

In an effort to determine the severity of the problem, I counted the pills and checked back the next day...the count was lower by 22. The following day another 20 were missing and today there was another 23 gone. I have NO IDEA what to do. I was going to call and confront him, but I just found this site when googling for answers and advice.

Any advice? Thoughts? I cannot let this continue, but really don't know how to approach the situation. I'm beyond sad and feel heartbroken. PLEASE HELP!!!
 
If they are the blue 30s he is selling if that much is gone in one day..ive never heard of many 600mg+ a day habit.if it is just personal he is too far gone for cold turkey

my guess is he was using and then Started selling to support the habit.with the errands he could be meeting to sell and with him changing at home id say he is using also..confront him butt do it from a place of concern and support not anger and judgement
 
Cdkman said:
If they are the blue 30s he is selling if that much is gone in one day..ive never heard of many 600mg+ a day habit.if it is just personal he is too far gone for cold turkey

my guess is he was using and then Started selling to support the habit.with the errands he could be meeting to sell and with him changing at home id say he is using also..confront him butt do it from a place of concern and support not anger and judgement
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lol do u ever hang out with other addicts? 20 a day is fuckin childs play. it's a habit no doubt though. lol 20 a day sellin? then he must have like 1 or 2 custies.... anyway

Sadwife1 said:
I don't quite know where to begin...I'm LOST! I don't know what to do and I need help (actually, my husband needs help). I'll start with the facts and hopefully I can get some feedback and advice...


Let me start by saying I absolutely LOVE my husband. We are high school sweethearts and have been married for 10 years, have 4 kids and have always been best friends. We have a wonderful life together...or so I thought.


About a year ago I started to notice my husband changing...working longer hours and not really present when he's home - always running out to do some useless errand and refusing to bring the kids along for the ride. I didn't think much of it until I started smelling cigarettes on him. He was a social smoker in college, but gave it up years ago as he matured. Although he has denied smoking, it was pretty clear to me that he was lying (which breaks my heart) so I decided to look through his things. Although I didn't find any cigarettes, I came across a bottle that was FILLED with little blue pills. I continued to act on my sleuth skills and used google to find out they are "oxycodone". What??? Seriously??? I know nothing about this drug, other than the horror stories I have heard on the news.

In an effort to determine the severity of the problem, I counted the pills and checked back the next day...the count was lower by 22. The following day another 20 were missing and today there was another 23 gone. I have NO IDEA what to do. I was going to call and confront him, but I just found this site when googling for answers and advice.

Any advice? Thoughts? I cannot let this continue, but really don't know how to approach the situation. I'm beyond sad and feel heartbroken. PLEASE HELP!!!
Click to expand...

He may or may not try to manipulate you if you approach him on the subject. This most likely will be an ongoing thing if you dont put your foot down and tell him to get his shit together for you and the kids.

His options are Go to rehab for 30 days or suboxone maintenance and start from there. You must be firm otherwise you will most likely go through hell being a opiate user's significant other. Your significant other's brain is hi jacked by a substance. try your best to accept that. At the same time don't Enable him, if you enable him you are pretty much killing him.

Examples of enabling is, letting him get high and have his way, putting up with arguements and having him around while he is high, letting him in the house when he is high off 20 of those. If he is high is not allowed near the house or kids. simple as that.
If he doesnt stop not only is he shaving years off his life, but yours as well, not only that the kids have to grow up around it. apple doesnt fall to far from the tree they say....

yes your high school sweet heart is not himself until he gets help and fights this demon. Alternatively or better yet, this may help http://www.nar-anon.org/

personally i would just put a camera in the living room after taking his bottle of bills and when he freaks out on you. you say look at what you have become.
hide them in not an obvious spot where you would hide them like the laundry or kitchen etc. cause he may try to look for them before going off on u.




they are more familiar with process. http://www.nar-anon.org/
 
Thank you all! The thought of dealing never even crossed my mind. I'm not in a position to rule anything out at this point, but selling for profit is highly unlikely given our current financial situation. We jointly manage all of our finances and have sufficient income / savings (although I guess he could be selling so I don't see money disappearing). Would a habit of 20 oxycodone be expensive?
 
NewJerseyChill said:
lol do u ever hang out with other addicts? 20 a day is fuckin childs play. it's a habit no doubt though. lol 20 a day sellin? then he must have like 1 or 2 custies.... anyway
Click to expand...

Newjersey your hubris has NO place in this discussion, grow up.

Although habits in that range are certainly possible, cdkman is right in his assumption that 600mg daily habits are rare for people to maintain for such a long period given the massive financial cost. In which case dealing to support the habit is the more likely explanation, in which case Sadwife1 you should emphasize the possible legal consequences to your husband as well as the obvious relationship costs to keeping such a dangerous habit up.

I truly hope all goes well and you are able to resume normality soon.
Good luck.
 
Jersey you sound like a huge deuce lol. 20 pills of any pure oxy can be alot. U need to Google and see the dosage. Really no one goes near 200mgs a day. Some people are deep and they will ho up to 150 160. 160 mg caps ate prescribed actually. Not in America though and only prescribed when you are basically stuck dying.
To sum up. We are missing a key details the mg's, then next would be to find out if he is only using or using/selling, I would confront him sternly but dont go off on him or he will just shut down and want to go get high again. Utilizing your emotions and guilt mixed with your reality is what I would use to actually get threw to an addict. We don't knoe you guys though or really much of the full picture. Google the imprint on them use pill identifier then locate what mg his blues are then come back on here if you want. Gl
 
Razor makes some good points. First take a deep breath. You don't want to get your husband all freaked out. We don't want to assume he is selling his pills. I need to ask you some questions to get a better understanding of the situation so bear with me. Your husband apparently is getting these pills prescribed, do you know for how long? Did you find the bottle of pills within the past couple of days?
 
There was no prescription label on the bottle - I found them 2 days ago (today is the third day I've been counting). I checked our prescription insurance record and didn't see anything and there was no doctors records either. I'm lost
 
Oh you can go well over 600mgs a day Razor. I've taken 15 of my own prescribed 15mg oxys at once when I was banging fire dope and that much oxy didn't even take me out of withdrawal.

He could be an oxy addict, an addict who sells to support his own habit, or a dealer. To be kind, maybe there is financial pressure you don't know about and he's too proud to tell you about it and he's making up for the loss. It's impossible to tell.

Just make sure when you talk to him not to shame him or be stigmatizing, those could well be reasons he's hiding this from you in the first place.
 
When he comes home, are his eyes pinned? (extreme pupil constriction) -- that's a telltale sign of opiate usage.
 
Just a quick update as I don't have a lot of additional information;I'm trying to collect as much as possible before confronting him). I took a closer look at the pills- some are white and some are blue, but they all appear to be oxycodone 30mg.

I haven't noticed his eyes being "pinned" but will keep a lookout for that sign.

Thanks again for all your information and concern
 
I really hope that your husband is not getting these drugs illicitly because he could get in some serious trouble if he gets caught with them. It won't be easy confronting him but it's necessary. Like Nicholai said, you will need to go about it in a non accusatory manner. Are you close with any of his family members? Perhaps they suspect something is off as well. You know your husband better than us. Is he prone to anger easily? You might want to get someone to watch the kids so they don't overhear things they shouldn't. Let us know how you're doing!
 
Hey Sadwife I wish you all the best when you sit down to discuss this with your husband. If he is getting the pills illegally that could be your strongest angle to come at him. Talking about the danger he is in and the possibility of going to jail and missing out on your kids lives should hit home with him. With the way the laws are today getting caught with 50+ pills could be a serious problem even for a first time offender. So if you feel comfortable I would definitely bring that up as well as the financial hit that legal representation could cost. I know someone who got caught with pills for his first offense but it still cost about $40,000 all together for the lawyer and all the court fines and costs. But please listen to all the good advice on here and be cautious in the way you approach him, it will be frustrating as hell but he is going to need you now more than ever. Opiate addiction is extremely difficult to battle and overcome and your husband will need your love and support every hour of the day. So please be strong and prepare yourself for it to get worse before it gets better and remember that he has changed somewhat with his brain being flooded and now addicted to the Oxy. You came to the right place and I hope you will keep us informed, we are not trying to invade your privacy, we just want to help. Good luck!
 
@doglover, I had no clue that this could be such an incredibly illicit situation. Aside from the possibility of addiction, it seems clear from all of the posts that I need to address him ASAP due to the harm he could be doing to our family from a legal standpoint. I'd imagine dealing with the addiction will be difficult, but I cannot even imagine how terrible it would be if he were arrested and had to deal with jail, etc. - the emotional toll that would take on our children is not something I a prepared to deal with.

I have arranged for the children to go spend the day with their grandparents so I can confront this situation. As suggested, I plan to address it from an angle of concern, as difficult as that may be.

Please keep me in your thoughts as today will be one of the most difficult of my life.
 
it is very possible to use 20 + of those pills a day.. it seems unfathomable, but I assure you its very possible. That dude was not being a "douche" he's from NJ and he knows how bad shit is here and has probably seen it first hand like myself...

to the OP- most likely your spouse is not dealing, but probably just giving them to friends in exchange for a few bucks while he uses the rest. If I were you id talk to him about getting on suboxone, Ive been on it for 4 years prescribed by a doctor, and it saved my life and allowed me to become somewhat normal. Lemme know if you have any questions about suboxone...
 
I'm aware it is possible to take 600mg.a childhood friend before he died was taking 450mg a day..all I was doing is pointing her in the likely path he has taking since money is not missing..can't stand the dicksizing with opiates

With a habit of 20 30mg oxy a day your finances would be drained in a few months..my guess is he is selling to make his money back to buy a script from someone every month and taking the extra..even if he has 1 or 2 "custies"?:|
 
Last edited:
mrsnowygrainius said:
it is very possible to use 20 + of those pills a day.. it seems unfathomable, but I assure you its very possible. That dude was not being a "douche" he's from NJ and he knows how bad shit is here and has probably seen it first hand like myself...

to the OP- most likely your spouse is not dealing, but probably just giving them to friends in exchange for a few bucks while he uses the rest. If I were you id talk to him about getting on suboxone, Ive been on it for 4 years prescribed by a doctor, and it saved my life and allowed me to become somewhat normal. Lemme know if you have any questions about suboxone...
Click to expand...

haha a 600mg a day habit is what helps get your mind in the dark side. but ya dude people are going to people.

if it's 20-23 a day, every day. that aint dealing. these kids are naive as fuck. thats a god damn habit because of the consistency of the amount of pills missing. if he's dealing its...5 here, 15, here oh shit jonnies got his paycheck today 50 GONE. Thats DEALING. 20, 21, 20, 23, missing everyday is a habit. sit down and take notes, i have been around from jersey down to florida. i knew ppl who have been involved with opiates inside and out in so many ways.

i can tell most of u guys are new and inexperienced.

yall should stop wasting this womans time.
you are all keeping her optimistic, she didnt even acknowledge the most probable scenario because you guys are sugarcoating this shit. "oh yaya my husband is probably selling because of sufficient income yada yada....

your husband is crushing and sniffing OR eating illegal pain killers that are highly addictive and crushes families, its an epidemic that should have WAY more coverage. why? because half of my friends who use, are fuckin dead. and my buddies friends? they are dead also.

why does it get no coverage? cause it's too much money will be lost, and a good way to suppress people who have capabilities of doing great things. addicts are the double edged sword of society.

take into account what i said in my first post about enabling.

http://www.nar-anon.org/

^ they are waiting for u

edit: oh yea for the record. i never smoke cigarettes, but when i do...its after a blue. (those pills in your husbands bottle)
 
I don't recommend putting up cameras. Do your best to not try to mutually breach trust. But be honest with him. I think there's a lot of unnecessary hostility in this thread that should go towards supporting OP.

Good luck with your situation.
 
I agree wholeheartedly with doing what you have to do to maintain trust between the two of you--your husband is going to need to know that you are on his side if he is going to fight this. At the same time, attending an al-anon or nar-anon meeting would also be a good idea. When someone you love is struggling with addiction it can be very hard to know what is support and what is enabling (helping them to stay the victim of addiction).

Once you have confronted your husband with the knowledge you have and the honest toll it is already having on your family you need to figure out together what should be done. Concentrate on actions that can be taken and try your hardest to steer clear of blame. Good luck.<3 Keep your hope up and your eyes open.
 
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