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Advice How to tell your girlfriend you smoke crack?

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Ryan2246

Ryan2246

Ex-Bluelighter
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Oct 9, 2021
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Im in a serious relationship with this drug free girl. I have no idea how to tell her ive been smoking crack for 3 years without her knowing....any advise?
 
Hmmm, idk, is there any reason in particular you feel you have to tell her? Might be better off not doing it, if it's just gonna rock the boat.

Have you been with her this entire three years?
 
deficiT said:
Hmmm, idk, is there any reason in particular you feel you have to tell her? Might be better off not doing it, if it's just gonna rock the boat.

Have you been with her this entire three years?
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Yeah i have been with her for all three years. The reason i feel like i should tell her is that we are getting engaged soon.
 
deficiT said:
Hmmm, idk, is there any reason in particular you feel you have to tell her? Might be better off not doing it, if it's just gonna rock the boat.

Have you been with her this entire three years?
Click to expand...
Yeah i have been with her for all three years. The reason i feel like i should tell her is that we are getting engaged soon.
 
it's up to you, she'll find out soon enough for sure

it's quite a big thing - I'd wanna be told if I was planning to commit to someone...and it;s not like a hit of weed now and again is it?
 
One of the most epic threads on this site (I don't remember the name so can't find it) was several years ago when we had a married guy who smoked crack behind his wife's back. I say it was epic because it was entertaining but I'd wager there's a dark sided ending that we may or may not know about (I never followed up with that thread).

It's fun, smoking crack, I'll give you that. If you want to keep doing it, that's fine by me.

The big question here is what do you value more, your fiance's trust or getting high?
 
I think you should tell her, she has the right to know if you plan to have kids etc. Are you sure she would take it negatively? Maybe she has secrets too and you opening up to her could make her feel safe to share her secrets too, that could strengthen your relationship. Maybe she already guessed it?
 
Too bad shes not into drugs or you guys could have crack sex like me and my ex did. Getting someone to go down on you while hitting the pipe in awesome.

All the same youve been together 3 years thats a long ass time and a big secret to keep. but it's kinda up to you to tell her or not.
 
If its not having a detrimental effect on your life then i dont see a problem? All i know is usually smoking crack leads to a whole load of problems. It aint cheap, its short lasting and very morish.

If you have unlimited funds and are hurting no one i dont see the issue but i can bet not many people can do this with using most substances never mind crack
 
Don’t get engaged to someone if you’re hiding something that big from them.

Be honest about your drug use, if they are someone you’re supposed to be with they will stick by you. If not you’ve saved a lot of money on a wedding and a divorce.
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
In my experience, crack is probably the most obvious drug to be noticed by straight people. They may not know what you're on, but they know you're on something. You're sweating, you're agitated, your pupils are huge and you're talking shit. How the hell have you got away with it for three years??
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That was kinda my point! And that BEFORE you've crossed the permanent instant paranoia stage! :ROFLMAO: There ain't no covering THAT up!

But that's just the thing. If this is some type of once per week bender with mates and she's not around on such occasions then so be it i.e. no point in throwing the baby out with the bathwater. But if that be the case: probably the more important issue is whether or not the OP is prepared to forego the fun moving forward. Not something you can go out and enjoy on the patio and come walking back into the lounge like nothing happened (and then still get in shit and be expected to eat the dinner that she'd just cooked for you)! 🤪

As for hoping that she'll be accepting and may even join in the fun: I assure you that you'd be setting yourselves up for eventual disaster. There will come a time when it will become a major point of contention (usually when either party comes to their senses and decides it's no longer acceptable and which WILL happen eventually and for oh so many possible reasons). And once you've gone down the road of allowing it to infiltrate your intimate moments: you don't recover from that i.e. everything from that point and after cessation of use is "meh" and takes a good long while to return to baseline if only psychologically. Point is: think ahead. The length of the psychological effects can far outlive the moreish cravings while using. And eventually you'll not be able to handle the comedowns either and that can lead to all sorts of other less than desirable methods to handle the same e.g. booze, benzodiazepines, pick your comedown poison and all of which can end up in a REAL addiction (far harder to deal with especially if physical, let alone psychological, dependence creeps into the picture).

Fucking hell. I've outdone myself on HR on this topic in this post! Probably my first! 🤣

Dunno about the "most obvious" though but probably right up there with the best and obvious. You ever heard of the "Fentanyl Shuffle" or "Kensington Yoga"? 🤣 At least with Crack you can walk in a straight line (albeit with a sort of urgency and feigned determination and purpose in your step) and sit (albeit rigidly and white knuckling it) upright in chair (and maybe only have DOUBLE vision)! 🤣
 
This is a tough one. My advice to anyone starting a relationship. Honesty from the get go is key.

for this.. aw man. You gotta tell her sometime. Maybe on the context of getting help, although I know that’s hard to get these days. If she loves that much, she will stay. I hope you can become and remain honest from that point because she will have trust issues from here on out. If you tell her.

she will find out sometime no matter what.
 
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