This is a complicated one because being autistic (to whatever degree) social cues are less evident and so even though you may look for those cues you may always be looking at them from a 'superimposed' perspective i.e a shallow awareness and understanding of them. This isn't a bad thing and you can absolutely learn more about areas of yourself and others that otherwise seemed so distant and separate to your current level of understanding. Autism is terminal though, it's not a temporary thing, and so I think having realistic expectations as to what your limits might be could save you from letting yourself down, putting too much pressure on yourself, setting yourself up to fail etc. It's not going away and so superficial quick-fixes to 'understand' others is great in certain ways but doesn't really equate to much in the grand scheme of things.
In other words, it's better to just be autistic and be autistic with pride. That doesn't mean letting go of yourself and not being responsible for how you to interact with others. It does mean cutting yourself some slack and understanding the limitations to being autistic in terms of things like social cues and difficulty interacting with others sticks around but it can stick in a way where you are actually confident in being autistic around others and knowing you are safe, secure, valued, welcome, loved, respected and all the good stuff we all want to experience when we go through life. Good people will accept you for who you are, women are not exception to this rule. This is where you actually might learn more because with these people around you, you have all the resources you need to know starting with yourself is all you need. That way you aren't trying to compensate and/or compartmentalize and intellectualize yourself out of experiences in order to get create shortcuts out of whatever you experience because you feel you lack them in your life altogether. You are in them and accepting of your autism and therefore more relaxed, more open, more collected and sure of yourself as opposed to trying to change things, trying to improve (like you are not already good enough as you are) etc.
The most successful people with autism are the ones that can integrate their autism into everyday life. And by that it means on a fundamental level having the capacity, the courage, the confidence and audacity in some situations, to say f*ck it to the world and opening yourself to life. Simply put, giving less of a f*ck might actually be better. Sometimes you can therapize and psychologize the sh*t out of everything and then become trapped by the incessant thinking, rationalizing, intellectualizing etc. This is a trap for lots of people, especially intelligent people. They know the mechanics of their issues but because they only know how to theorize on them, they cannot live them and actually make a difference to their lives. They have all the tips, tricks, hacks and what not but unless they can apply these things to their life they are no better than when they started. What does that knowledge do for you when you cannot apply it? Likewise and with things like autism, as well as mental illness, it's the felt lived experience that is the most important. There is a time for learning about things and then there is a time to be the person underneath the learning part of you, the person who wants to learn. The person you are beneath everything is far more important than the person who wants to learn. Without integration of the whole, the parts count for nothing.
The best advice imo is to have a good support network. We learn from others and the best sort of learning when it's about people is to be around people, and to be around people around those that do peopling well, or at least good enough to get what they want from life and their interactions. Expose yourself to as many social situations as possible where the spectrum of emotions and interactions are vivid enough for you to take something away from it. Like, okay, I did this today and I got that from it. I smiled at someone and they smiled back. I was a little aggressive with that person and they became submissive, or, they became aggressive in return. I listened to this person and they reciprocated. Also talk to people and ask them how they are feeling. Ask them questions so to validate your perceptions about what they might be experienced and feeling. We all have to build up theories on how people interact, and this is built into us at a very primitive level. This then becomes the awareness we have to navigate the social world around us. Also people with autism require this level of involvement and the reassurance it provides in order to navigate the world better. It's likely always going to be difficult sometimes but the degree to which you were/are involved and integrated into healthy and beneficial social interaction already (and in the past) helps to determine how you go on into life with this development and support behind you.
When it comes to interacting with anybody though, the best level of interaction is the one which comes natural to us.
Embracing what we bring to the table and knowing this is enough is a huge thing. Again, a lot of what is mentioned above reflects that.
The hardest thing maybe is not losing yourself when you think you are not doing things 'right'. Like if you feel you aren't making someone happy or you pick up on their micro-expressions and sense some kind of emotional shift in them and then internalize this in yourself, knowing that everything is fine as it is and it's just the way our minds and brains work and that goes for everybody. Or get stuck in negative thought loops and rigid patterns of behaviour that cause you distress and knowing this is indicative not of the situation but underlying things, like your autism.
If you are really keen on learning about interacting with others, you may want to learn about psychology and different areas that study human behaviour. There is a lot of information to be gleaned from that. Also, communication skills as an area to learn about is really helpful.
