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How to tell if a woman actually likes me or not ? what are safe signs (likely ASD)

iridescentblack said:
For the sake of keeping things straight in here, I have to disagree- though I feel you might just be coming from a dark place when you say that.

I'm neither telling that people should use harassment for attention.

@Darksidesam I want to play Devil's Advocate for a second here because I honestly know nothing about you and don't necessarily know if this'll help... but... I was noticing or rehashing my recent history (ruminating in other words) and I thought it might interest you - to be so bold as to say so - that a lot of people flirt openly. (I personally blame high school). Suppose you were more flirtatious with people, what's the harm?

When people compliment things I wear, shit man, idk what the fuck aspergers is or severe autism or not or whether I have it or whatever, but when people say shit like that- I don't know if it's flirtatious or not. Compliments are this and that. It is what it is. If a person compliments something you're wearing that you genuinely appreciate isn't that appreciation in and of itself?

In hindsight, I feel like beating ourselves up for not recognizing "cue" after cue isn't sufficient wanton to juxtapose and so on.
Click to expand...
Yeah, advance method is Piss off and perservere. It works, but it's high energy.
 
ions said:
Yeah, advance method is Piss off and perservere. It works, but it's high energy.
Click to expand...
I know right.


Had a therapist one time said he knew a friend who would periodically ask women out. This player was a heavy-set guy too. Not too shabby, but figured - I guess at least according to my therapist - that if'n he were to ask all of them out, his chances of being discarded were slim to none. no pun intended

A hero, I considered the mock-therapy-stricken model to hold at statuesque so-re-de-wa?- he nonetheless starved, as a hopeless example -albeit human, to strive as something we all know as excellence.


I'm convinced to this day, my therapist - in those moments - was a marked display of how we react.
 
I think learning to read the cues from an interested woman is important. Lots of possible ones have been listed in this thread. But no-one ever gets it right 100 % of the time and some women have a naturally flirtatious style even towards men they are not particularly interested in. So all the signs are there, but they are not pointing in a productive direction.

As such, equally important is learning how to ask a woman out and take a ‘no thanks’ answer gracefully and without major damage to your ego. I think this is a problem many many guys have and something that leads to a quite bit of generalised animosity towards women.

So you somehow end up in a situation where you are interacting with a woman you are attracted to. Maybe at work, the gym, in a shop, at church, in a crack den - wherever. You are seeing some of the body language cues discussed above. Signs are good. You need to be able to ask something non-threatening like “can I get your number”, or “would you like to grab a coffee sometime”, or “what are you doing after work” casually and keep a smile on your face if you get a negative response. It’s not a deeply personal insult she’s just given you. Maybe she has a crush somewhere she’s interest in, or a boyfriend, or maybe she’s a lesbian, or maybe you are just not her type. Just don’t get hurt or embarrassed. And don’t let it stop you making a similar attempt with the next woman who seems interesting to you.

It’s actually stress releasing to go ahead and ask her out. Then you have your answer and know where you stand and you can stop with all the attempts to read her mind and interpret her body language.
 
I have literally fell asleep with my head in a girl’s lap and still read it wrong - turns out she saw me as the gay best friend

but guess what, I asked before I kissed her and a simple no from her saved the weirdness 🤷‍♂️
 
I guess i dont really flirt or im not very forward. its not because im ugly or anything either but i am a bit of a loser at life , i have very little achievements
and severe mental health issues/symptoms that rule my life, and suck the confidence and life out of me which would otherwise be translated into confidence and being more comfortable with flirting etc.

But i guess even when i was in better 'form' i wasnt very forward. I can count at least a few times i think perhaps someone might have been interested but i thought they were just being friendly (I also remember these well because these ladies were very attractive) its like my emotional reading and response is not.. installed

As for the suggestion earlier to push them against wall etc i think that would so not be me im not very forward and i like my personal space and i appreciate others personal space unless they want me to be in it i wouldnt intrude
 
There's the noobie mission. Make it a goal to talk to 100 girls. I mean when you go out, you see couples, groups of women, groups or men 2+ and sometimes they are alone. you kind of disregard the target in a mixed set, or be as nonthreatening as possible approaching women that are alone.
 
Perforated said:
So basically your advice is manipulate women to the point where you can commit what is potentially sexual assault?

This is exactly the kind of misogynistic bullshit we don’t need in this forum, where I imagine our very diverse female members are reading it in disgust.
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Lmao. I guarantee you they're no less disgusted than myself. I've never in my life seduced a woman and I've never once in my life met a man that could fool a female. If you think for one second a man can pull one over on a girl you're a complete moron. People only do what they desire to do. You may believe what you'd like about me or anything else for that matter but when it comes to male female relationships you seem to be out of touch with reality and the key word here is "reality". Passion or love in it's true form... I.e. in relation to nature and natural beings isn't some fairytale disney story pal and I'm sure the girls tell you all the time about "what they want" and no doubts you've tried it a million times only to fail miserably and wonder why cause you're a "really nice guy". "A misogynist is a man that hates women as much as women hate women." and I promise you I've never been that cruel or dark in all my life so I refute that statement. I quite admire women but have no illusions about them, but by all means keep putting every girl you crush on on a pedestal and accuse someone of sexual assault for taking a chance to kiss the girl he likes.....

You should read some female written erotica, pick about 5 different authors, read them and get a glimpse into the feminine. Spewing proto feminist new age nonsense and accusing people of being rapists for LOOKING at a girl like he likes and being bold enough to kiss her is laughable. Turn off your tv, put your pamphlets down and actually get out in the real world.
 
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Thejackal5654 said:
Lmao. I guarantee you they're no less disgusted than myself. I've never in my life seduced a woman and I've never once in my life met a man that could fool a female. If you think for one second a man can pull one over on a girl you're a complete moron. People only do what they desire to do. You may believe what you'd like about me or anything else for that matter but when it comes to male female relationships you seem to be out of touch with reality and the key word here is "reality". Passion or love in it's true form... I.e. in relation to nature and natural beings isn't some fairytale disney story pal and I'm sure the girls tell you all the time about "what they want" and no doubts you've tried it a million times only to fail miserably and wonder why cause you're a "really nice guy". "A misogynist is a man that hates women as much as women hate women." and I promise you I've never been that cruel or dark in all my life so I refute that statement. I quite admire women but have no illusions about them, but by all means keep putting every girl you crush on on a pedestal and accuse someone of sexual assault for taking a chance to kiss the girl he likes.....

You should read some female written erotica, pick about 5 different authors, read them and get a glimpse into the feminine. Spewing proto feminist new age nonsense and accusing people of being rapists for LOOKING at a girl like he likes and being bold enough to kiss her is laughable. Turn off your tv, put your pamphlets down and actually get out in the real world.
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You drank the proverbial nice guy kool aid haven’t ya buddy?

You just said you’ve “never seduced a woman in your life..” So I’m going to assume everything past that is complete nonsense.

I love how there’s no middle ground with you and you instantly make all these assumptions on perforated based on nothing he actually said, but all these narratives you have playing up in your head.

“Proto-feminist-new-age-nonsense” is called respecting your fellow human being.

This is coming from someone that’s still with the girl he met in high school, she’s hotter now half a lifetime later than she was when we met (believe it or not, not all women peak in their 20’s like you incel ideology thinks), sex is absolutely amazing, and I have this all because I listen to and respect my wife.

I think most guys like you think being a “nice guy” is bending to the will of you woman on anything to show her how much you love her and committed. I see this all the time around me. Women don’t want that, that isn’t being a nice guy that’s being a push over.

Also the likelihood you were ever a nice guy before is slim to none, being artificially nice just to get laid isn’t nice. It’s fake, and people can smell fake no matter the gender.

-GC
 
G_Chem said:
You drank the proverbial nice guy kool aid haven’t ya buddy?

You just said you’ve “never seduced a woman in your life..” So I’m going to assume everything past that is complete nonsense.

I love how there’s no middle ground with you and you instantly make all these assumptions on perforated based on nothing he actually said, but all these narratives you have playing up in your head.

“Proto-feminist-new-age-nonsense” is called respecting your fellow human being.

This is coming from someone that’s still with the girl he met in high school, she’s hotter now half a lifetime later than she was when we met (believe it or not, not all women peak in their 20’s like you incel ideology thinks), sex is absolutely amazing, and I have this all because I listen to and respect my wife.

I think most guys like you think being a “nice guy” is bending to the will of you woman on anything to show her how much you love her and committed. I see this all the time around me. Women don’t want that, that isn’t being a nice guy that’s being a push over.

Also the likelihood you were ever a nice guy before is slim to none, being artificially nice just to get laid isn’t nice. It’s fake, and people can smell fake no matter the gender.

-GC
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I have NO doubts she is Aphrodite herself and you two exist in eternal bliss.... I mean, hey... Why else would you be on bluelight, the worlds largest forum for drug addicts with a good ol' boy account with a massive post count tallied up it. I've never claimed to be nice as that's not really a natural quality regarding human nature but I do pathologically assess situations in the moment and treat fellow humans accordingly and can be possessed of massive compassion and kindness if the person is deserving of it.
 
Thejackal5654 said:
I have NO doubts she is Aphrodite herself and you two exist in eternal bliss.... I mean, hey... Why else would you be on bluelight, the worlds largest forum for drug addicts with a good ol' boy account with a massive post count tallied up it. I've never claimed to be nice as that's not really a natural quality regarding human nature but I do pathologically assess situations in the moment and treat fellow humans accordingly and can be possessed of massive compassion and kindness if the person is deserving of it.
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Never said we exist in eternal bliss, if that’s your goal you’ll always be disappointed.. I would say though someone who’s never struggled with women probably has more room to talk than a self proclaimed lady repellent. And I own my own business and my wife is a doctor. We are massive fuck ups indeed. You know there’s more than just me here with their life intact, just because you surround yourself with degenerate fiends doesn’t mean all drug users are.

But yea you sound a peach to be around. You may need some tweaking on those “pathological assessments” you conduct. Everyone performs these ever so complicated assessments every time they meet someone new (I love how nice guy/incels have to try and over explain such simple processes) this is why no woman wants to be around you.

I’ll say this entire phenomenon is interesting to watch though, sad but funny. As these fragile male egos (that’s feminist talk, I must be a simp..) disintegrate when they get rejected one time, only to turn into woman hating internet trolls.

-GC
 
Thejackal5654 said:
Lmao. I guarantee you they're no less disgusted than myself. I've never in my life seduced a woman and I've never once in my life met a man that could fool a female. If you think for one second a man can pull one over on a girl you're a complete moron.
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Dude. I attract women sometimes without any issue. Your biggest problem is quite clearly your incelesque attitude. People, women sense this. So do men. You have a negative attitude toward people! They can tell! Elliot Rodgers was a good looking guy with zero kindnesss and THATS why he couldn't get laid!
 
Thejackal5654 said:
You should read some female written erotica, pick about 5 different authors, read them and get a glimpse into the feminine.
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What kind of a fool takes his cues in life from fiction? Especially romantic fiction?

I’ll take my knowledge of what women want from all the women I went to school with, the ones I was friends with, the ones I dated, the women I worked with, the ones I worked for and the ones who worked for me, the female teachers who taught me at school and the female professors who supervised me at college. I also learned a bit from my mother and grandmother, I’m not afraid to say. A lot from the 6 or 7 serious relationships I’ve had. Certainly something from 2 failed marriages. Especially from the ex who paid $50,000 k for my rehab long after we separated and never asked for a penny in return. I’m still learning from daughter. And that’s before I even begin to talk about all the women from different non-Western cultures I’ve known and learned things from.

You incel cranks talk like women are some kind of different species in which every specimen is identical. Like clones.

Let me make this point clearly: this is a forum for both men and women where posts that negatively essentialise either men or women are unwelcome. You’ve had a chance to post your angry bitter little incel tirade against woman. But any further will be removed. You are welcome to stay and contribute if you have anything productive and on-topic to say, otherwise take your schtick to The Lounge.
 
I'd rather look at non-verbal cues, since they disclose more than actual talking and a lot of it happens subconsciously.

- Does she pivot her body towards you?
- When she averts her gaze, does she look down and back at you? Up and back? Side-ways?
- Does she recline her head when she listens to you?
- Does she frame face with one hand/two?
- Neck play: while she reaches and touches her collar-bones/neck, she's displaying submissive behavior, something that brings mens nurturing instinct kick in. Same with covering her mouth (if she doesn't look disgusted otherwise): a no-go for men as a general rule, while it signals being 'coy' and 'exploitative' (no, it's not the exploitative you think; again, this vulnerable display makes men want to protect women)
- Touching is probably the most reliable sign; if she graces your arm or maybe your thigh just below the wasti both indicates the same thing with different intensity.
- Signs of preening? Straighten up her posture, opening up body language and so on.
- Turning her head to the side while laughing; something that almost all men find extremely attractive.
- You have counter-intuitive signs as well, such as a closed body language (both arms covering her up) while her focus is on you. S Generally we think about submissive as in fearful or insecure, but here we're back at Caveman town again - men (who are not damaged) will want to protect and take care of her.

.. and there are countless more, but as long as she doesn't look appalled, these are generally pretty signs that she likes you.
All of these are pretty vanilla, but it's a starting point.
You can't apply all of them to every individual, but if she likes you I guarantee she'll dot in several on a date.

But that she's interested doesn't mean the deal is done.
You still gotta close the deal, and that comes down to the lady in question, what she might want, be looking for and what you have.

Just sweep her of her feet and live happily ever after!


You gotta take more than just this into account, though. Her touching her neck or pivoting towards you are not Go-signs by themselves.
These are just small things to look for. The best way to find it out is to simply communicate. And the only way to learn that is to TALK. :)

Whatever you do, though - drop "The Game" and sleazy Bollywood-manipulations like that. That's not a healthy frame to put yourself or women in.
 
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thegreenhand said:
I have literally fell asleep with my head in a girl’s lap and still read it wrong - turns out she saw me as the gay best friend
Click to expand...

Whatever you do dont google "how can you tell if a girl likes you". lol You get high school stuff like she twirls her hair as she speaks to you she points her feet at you, she smiles a certain way, etc.... The fact of the matter is there is no clear cut way. One girl's way may be to stay completely away from you out of shyness. You would never know. Touching? Some people touch everyone. But hey I grew up in a time where you could not google it. (no offense Tub I had this typed out before you posted but those were the signs I too would look for before some of them fell through and turned out wrong for me)

Communication is so important. Screw the "signs". Just flirt a little and then see where it goes. and communitcate. If you stick together you will need to learn to communicate anyway. I respect people being honest and bold. But it has to be honest. There are girls that you think are honest but do not even know themselves what they want. So it is a mix of things.

This sort of transfers me back to years ago wondering all these things myself. Now I am married and they do not come into play. But I have picked up on woman that do like me even as I am married. But steer clear of any woman willing to come between someone else's relationship. There are a lot of home wreckers who enjoy that.

Then there are the narcicists, apparent ones and covert ones. Covert are the most annoying. Their self importance could lead you to believe she lkes you when it is all about her.

There is someone for everyone though even if it has a time limit. Indeed all relationships have a time limit. If we lived till 500 years old most would not still be together.

The "in love" state needs a mind to balance it. You can see how following love without the mind can cause problems. Also the in love state fades. So if you find you are falling for someone that is unattainable let it go. Channel the love to the people around you. It comes back in a differrent form. That is where the mind can temper the emotions. AS long as we do not attribute the opening of our heart to an object we can temper it. But yet we read stories like The Great Gatsby and see what happens when the heart is not tempered by the mind's wisdom.

Lastly I love everyone. lol We are all just one big happy mother f*cking family!! :D
 
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JackARoe said:
(no offense Tub I had this typed out before you posted but those were the signs I too would look for before some of them fell through and turned out wrong for me)
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Haha, no worries man. I'm just better at body language than verbal stuff. There is so much more like I wrote than just those signs - it might mean jack-shit that she's facing you if everything else is off.
I don't think you can teach someone this stuff, really, beyond simple signs that's usually wrong by themselves. Some find it easy and some can't do it at all, like a lot of other stuff in life.
 
tubgirl.jpg said:
I'd rather look at non-verbal cues, since they disclose more than actual talking and a lot of it happens subconsciously.

- Does she pivot her body towards you?
- When she averts her gaze, does she look down and back at you? Up and back? Side-ways?
- Does she recline her head when she listens to you?
- Does she frame face with one hand/two?
- Neck play: while she reaches and touches her collar-bones/neck, she's displaying submissive behavior, something that brings mens nurturing instinct kick in. Same with covering her mouth (if she doesn't look disgusted otherwise): a no-go for men as a general rule, while it signals being 'coy' and 'exploitative' (no, it's not the exploitative you think; again, this vulnerable display makes men want to protect women)
- Touching is probably the most reliable sign; if she graces your arm or maybe your thigh just below the wasti both indicates the same thing with different intensity.
- Signs of preening? Straighten up her posture, opening up body language and so on.
- Turning her head to the side while laughing; something that almost all men find extremely attractive.
- You have counter-intuitive signs as well, such as a closed body language (both arms covering her up) while her focus is on you. S Generally we think about submissive as in fearful or insecure, but here we're back at Caveman town again - men (who are not damaged) will want to protect and take care of her.

.. and there are countless more, but as long as she doesn't look appalled, these are generally pretty signs that she likes you.
All of these are pretty vanilla, but it's a starting point.
You can't apply all of them to every individual, but if she likes you I guarantee she'll dot in several on a date.

But that she's interested doesn't mean the deal is done.
You still gotta close the deal, and that comes down to the lady in question, what she might want, be looking for and what you have.

Just sweep her of her feet and live happily ever after!


You gotta take more than just this into account, though. Her touching her neck or pivoting towards you are not Go-signs by themselves.
These are just small things to look for. The best way to find it out is to simply communicate. And the only way to learn that is to TALK. :)

Whatever you do, though - drop "The Game" and sleazy Bollywood-manipulations like that. That's not a healthy frame to put yourself or women in.
Click to expand...
Idk why but this was so fucking hot. I had to read it twice. Intelligence is hella sexy lol

Very spot on. Especially touching. I want to touch myself a lot when I am around someone I am attracted to.

Unless shes an overthinker. I sabotage the hell outta myself if I am really interested in someone because it scares me. Its like I start preparing myself to hate them. I guess thats behind some of what makes me so submissive sexually. Dont give me time to start contemplating. Just pin me up against the wall and put me in my place :p
 
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