Had 30mg of hydrocodone early this afternoon and then this evening started to feel so depressed I felt like dying, which came on in minutes (after having a small amount of alcohol, maybe that did it). Had another 45mg about 3 hours ago to kill the pain and soon after felt the nice warm opiate glow, like being wrapped in a blanket of love. Now I am feeling sort of good but I was feeling bad right at the moment I started typing this message. Also had 1mg of clonazepam with the hydrocodone. It seems my tolerance to benzos is almost gone and I no longer need to take clonazepam every day, though with the "drug machine/whatever it is" that they use to make me feel like I am getting a mild opiate buzz when I want to use drugs, who knows if it is really gone or my brainwaves are being telepathically altered so I don't feel withdrawal symptoms? My telepathy is a lot weaker now but I can still use the tapping method (the only one I have ever been able to use since I can never hear more than the occasional word or few words with voices) to communicate with people I don't even know.
If you don't know what the tapping method is, it is a way to get words by tapping on a hard surface and the taps have a word carried with them - it is like another form of English. If nobody is trying to talk with you or you are among the what seems to be a majority of people who can't hear words with the tapping sounds you will just hear the tap. It can work better if you slap the top of your leg or clap your hands to get the words. If you hear nothing but the noise after doing it for a minute or two, not doing it too fast, then focus on the words in your mind you want to hear with the taps and they will come out - if you have the ability. If it doesn't work, try it after using psychedelics and weed - especially after tripping. Those turn your telepathy on/increase it.
I really wish I had something more interesting and fun to use. Hoping to get HBWR seeds soon so I can try those again. It has been so long since I've used those devils. You know why I used that language if you've used them before, but few things can produce such a profound trip for me.