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How High Are You? v. Well I'm Pretty Darn High

80mg Methadone
30mg Temazepam
2mg Clonazepam
2400mg Gabapentin
.5g joint pineapple express
150mg Hydroxyzine
150mg Promethazine
Caffeine
Nicotine/Tobacco



Man you're making my 1650 Lyrica and 2mg Klonopin caffeine and nicotine look weak. But in my defense, I'm am at work and have been fully(maybe?) functional since 7am!
 
btw i want some fucking opiates man! i have 2mgs of bupe that I could shoot up my ass but it might be dangerous with the flub so ill pass. tomorrow tho...
 
Tryptamine Dreamer, how are you doing? I've been reading your posts. You seem like an intelligent person. Why do you want to end it? Why do you REALLY want to do it? Do you REALLY want it? The other day you said you sucked in the "making people close to you happy" department, but that you were working on improving that. Well, I can tell you one thing. Suicide will not be much of an improvement. It will actually affect people who care about you in the worst way imaginable.

I apologize to my fellow bluelighters if this comes across as heartless, but Dreamer, remember that it is your choice after all. Nobody can force you to live under no excuses. It's your and only your body, so in the end you are to do as you please and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. But the current problem, that hangyourhead also raised, is you're not clear-headed right now. There is a lot of confusion going on in your brain. Many 'a bad decision are made in such moments, and usually it's fine. But this one is irreversible and final. Just stop for a moment and think about it. Is this really what you want? Like, really really?

Do you know what comes after? Will it be better? Is life right now really bad, or is it just boredom? There are many questions you have to give an answer to (not to me or anyone else, only yourself) before you can make the decision. It's always easy to quit, but what will the next game be?

I faced the suicidal ideation about 2 years ago. I couldn't answer these few simple questions; I still don't know why I live, but I decided that it doesn't matter. For me, I don't know what comes after. I only know what is right now and what my foreseeable future holds, and I decided to try to make the best of it; not for anyone, but for me. I have given up on classical societal values; my main form of feeling good is getting high/drinking and thinking my own fucked up thoughts. And believe it or not, but I do enjoy it now. I don't give a fuck, but I know that right now I've found a way to feel good and I don't want to risk giving it up for something I know nothing of (afterlife, if such a thing exists).

OT: I'll raise this glass to you, Dreamer. Whatever the decision you make, I respect it as it is your basic right. I just hope that it is made on a calm, sober and clear head; and is carried out (if is) well planned and in a cold-blooded fashion. Don't let the moment take you somewhere you don't actually want to be.
 
Falling deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole. Except the hole is filled with drugs, until I do them all. Then it's just an empty hole that I'm at the bottom of:!

Got burned for $50 earlier so that enraged me. :X Took 0.25mg of Triazolam and 0.5mg of Xanax to calm down.

So what happened, fake sh+t or did they simply leave and not come back ?
 
I don't know if it's the opioid withdrawal, but I'm feeling down as fuck. In a matter of days I have lost all motivation to do anything whatsoever; opposed to what it was like before, when I was actually very interested in being productive and accomplished quite a lot. But now I don't feel like doing anything. Today I stayed home and drank all day, on a hangover. It was good, but it's time for bed now and I'm really dreading the thought of tomorrow. I know what I have to get done tomorrow and it's not particularly hard, but I just can't find the power of will. I just wish I could drink all day tomorrow as well and advance my retarded concepts in my head. Fuck. I'm really lost right now.

OT: intoxicated, at least supposed to be. Feel too sober though.
 
I don't know if it's the opioid withdrawal, but I'm feeling down as fuck. In a matter of days I have lost all motivation to do anything whatsoever; opposed to what it was like before, when I was actually very interested in being productive and accomplished quite a lot. But now I don't feel like doing anything. Today I stayed home and drank all day, on a hangover. It was good, but it's time for bed now and I'm really dreading the thought of tomorrow. I know what I have to get done tomorrow and it's not particularly hard, but I just can't find the power of will. I just wish I could drink all day tomorrow as well and advance my retarded concepts in my head. Fuck. I'm really lost right now.

OT: intoxicated, at least supposed to be. Feel too sober though.
I know the feeling man just fully engery less wanna lay in bed all
Day and loose all responsibility! Good luck man it will soon! What opiates you been on?
 
2lbs poppy seed tea, double washed, a little rip of hash and a cigarette god damn i feel good

why do i love opiates so much? it sucks how perfect they are for my brain or my personality or whatever it is, they just hit the fuckin SPOT. It seems though that it strengthens the "I" and restricts me from truly feeling happy... it's a weird euphoria, this blissful apathy, it's not true bliss, but it feels so fucking good.
 
I know the feeling man just fully engery less wanna lay in bed all
Day and loose all responsibility! Good luck man it will soon! What opiates you been on?

Just codeine. 500 mg once a day, every day for a few months. I really didn't think I'd feel anything after stopping, but that's the only thing I can explain my current state with. Thanks anyway, I hope it goes well for you as well.

And I completely agree with Tryptamino. There is something really odd about opioids, something that really hits the spot for me.

Going to resume my opioid adventures as soon as my O-DT arrives. Can't wait to be in that excellent state again. I am absolutely addicted to opioids even if I don't use them often, or in large quantities. And I don't even feel bad about it as long as I stay functional, and ironically at this point they actually help me be more functional.

Good night BL.
 
Finally got some tar last night...
Now it's gone

Feeling good but sad I have no more
 
Just codeine. 500 mg once a day, every day for a few months. I really didn't think I'd feel anything after stopping, but that's the only thing I can explain my current state with. Thanks anyway, I hope it goes well for you as well.

And I completely agree with Tryptamino. There is something really odd about opioids, something that really hits the spot for me.

Going to resume my opioid adventures as soon as my O-DT arrives. Can't wait to be in that excellent state again. I am absolutely addicted to opioids even if I don't use them often, or in large quantities. And I don't even feel bad about it as long as I stay functional, and ironically at this point they actually help me be more functional.

Good night BL.
Oh yeah most defiantly, they hit every spot you want even if you didn't want them
To hit any spot
They still
Hit those pleasure receptors. I've been on 300mg of codeine and 200mg of tramadol the past few weeks but I
Can't piss and it's fucking dreadful so I need to come off them
For abit and enjoy something else gonna get some speed today and maybe a case of beer! I hope it goes well for you though man I hear Kratom
Is great for WD. Opiated up! Like hugging a hot water bottle when your cold!
 
Sorry, price discussion is not allowed on Bluelight.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
^Price discussion isn't allowed, sorry.

I am home again! For now.. I won't bore you with the details; but long story short I got kicked out because I was positive for cannabis. I did not smoke any weed in weeks. This is the second time I got a positive result for cannabis when I didn't smoke any. I don't know how that's possible, but there you go.

Went to my doc today to get put on the waiting list for another rehab program. One that will be a lot better suited for me. When I go there I will take it very seriously, a lot more than I have up until now.

OT: Also asked my doc for a sub script, he gave me one for 28x2mg. Good because I was almost out of sub. I sniffed 1mg, and IV'd another mg earlier. I don't think I'll IV it again. I don't see any benefits except for BA, and seeing as I got an Rx for it now, I don't have to get the highest BA possible out of them anymore. Also I kind of want to quit the needle, and seeing as the needle-fetish isn't really present anymore, I reckon it's best to do it now. Even heroin; I like it almost as much snorted as I do IV. So that's good. Hope I can keep away from the benzos at least while I wait for a spot in the other rehab program. I'm gonna try to keep off everything else as well except the sub. Maybe I'll smoke a spliff sometime, but will try to keep myself from using other drogaz.
 
have been bad last few days, but a lot has been going on bad shit really bad shit. A lot of people I know would put a bullet in there head or be doing worse things than me if they had to deal with it tbh.

What im on now - 320 mgs oxycodone : a combo between 160 mgs timereleased and 160 mgs IR (chewed) and long acting oxy together is very nice nice feeling-wise.but my empty stomach first dose of the day is always my best barnone.

also 3 mgs loprazolam for sleep and to add extra noditude to the oxy nodacious phase.

Happen to be in a fear amount of physical pain - think that temporary fix for my shattered shoulder (both ball and socket were shattered and not candidate for a replacement) ain't holding too well, supposed to hold for 2 years and was done in march last year. But yeah not looking forward to having it redone.
Was really heavy last year even tho they gave me 360 mgs of oxy a day in hospital + pethidine and dipipenone shots for breakthrough pain - it owned the pain but was a really heavy surgery - they kept me for like a week and a half afterwards and pumped me with iv antibiotics. My shoulder looks like the hellraiser dudes head only big screws. and needs to be redone every 2 years (maybe less at the rate it hurting me).

i often take more than just enough to kill the pian. gotta stop that. But i like the feel of the pain both mentally and physically being numbed.

PAYCEOUT, nod out with yo cock out fellas.
 
A little bit o' cocaine and a little bit of heroin. More to come of both. More H than white.
 
I smoked just a few mg of the purple left in my grinder, kief, and this flat piece of hash. The hash crumbles nicely, and is the only thing close to sativa I've smoked for the past few weeks. Put some mg purple, like 2mm flat patch of hash, a coat of kief, and then purple to top it off, in the order.

I was reading another thread and had a trip from reading descriptions, it just built up from reading the descriptions and finally hit me, like, Wow! Yeah I'm pretty darn high.
 
had a bad night, couldn't sleep after a beer/ket/weed session . took seroquel to pass out and woke up not feeling well...
so for now 50mg amitryptiline, a weed joint and a coffee
 
I love early cold misty mornings while my Methadone and benzos are reaching their peak.

80mg Methadone
40mg Diazepam
2mg Clonazepam
700mg Carisoprodol
2400mg Gabapentin
.6g joint Northern lights
150mg Promethazine
150mg Hydroxyzine
Caffeine
Nicotine/Tobacco

Starting to feel warm. ;)
 
Sober af. Just drove over 3000 miles in 3 days and now gotta get on that hustle!!!

Rest assured though I AM drinking tonight
 
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