Hi
@V82 
You're usage of Alcohol is definitely not even on the other half of the spectrum for what is commonly seen. You mention 7-8 beers... I know dozens of people who drink 40+ drinks per day. This is relevant, because it puts you in a good position to move against your problem on your own as planned. You're capable of doing it.
The fact that you mention taking regular days off from drinking despite chronic intake, as this implies you're much less likely to experience epileptic incident/seizure as a result of quitting. Literature is going to describe a lot of individuals who are trigged to seizure by quantities as you've described, but this sort of thing is far more common in women than Men. We are all aware of a woman's greater impact in regard to Alcohol due to their physiology (more fat) and some other issues. At any rate, it would be uncommon for an otherwise healthy male to have serious problems trying to quit at this usage.
The Physical Issue
If you're interested in medication-aids in this process, Benzodiazepines would be the go-to in a medical setting. In prior decades the notion of giving an Alcoholic a couple of month's worth of Lorazepam (Ativan) to see if they wanna give it a shot at home. For what it's worth, this was pretty sound advice for an Alcoholic who is employed, maintains their health and family and had a bona fide relationship with the physician, but things are much different now. The only way for most to obtain this sort of care is through personal trust with the doctor, if this is you, great, try it out.
Benzodiazepines are drugs that mimic the effects on the body produced by Alcohol. Benzodiazepines come in the form of tablets and rarely as an oral solution, either way, it's very easy to titrate the dosage by breaking tablets and so on.
Most Alcoholics will attempt to moderate their drinking in a similar, planned mathematical way, but in practice, it is much more difficult for someone whose drug of choice is Alcohol to control this. With the Alcohol you have the smell, the taste, the feeling in your belly telling you you're about to feel better... etc. I believe the understood fact that ritualization further entrenches addiction. Also, the effects of Alcohol come on quickly in general compared to oral medication due to Alcohol's chemical effects on the stomach. You're typically already feeling a good shot 5 minutes after taking it and you can already be smashed 15 minutes after a strong drink. Even most oral medications are going to have less of that "boom".
Benzodiazepines will allow you to experience the symptoms of withdrawal with less intensity while also allowing you to cut out the consumption of Alcohol immediately and forever if things go well. The ideal way of using these drugs would be to medicate at a heavier rate over the first 48-72hrs post-Alcohol, as these typically the most difficult.
If you want anymore advice on the use of Benzodiazepines to withdraw from Alcohol, we can talk about that. That discussion is its own can of worms and is best done on an ongoing basis based upon what is required for you to manage your symptoms. Likely, we can toss some numbers/dosages at you to start with and you can tailor based upon your needs. To shoot from the hip, I'd say:
Day 1
10mg Diazepam 2x per day w/ potentially 5mg more at night if sleep is too fitful
Day 3
5mg Diazepam in two dosages and one dosage of 10mg Diazepam based upon your needs (are mornings harder or evenings, that kind of thing)
Day 5
5mg Diazepam at both ends of AM/PM
Day 7
5mg Diazepam at most critical time, likely for bed, with another 5mg Diazepam as a rescue should you really need it.
Day 7-9
No Diazepam, but with the idea in mind that this plan is not tailored to you, you might do better with another day, you might also be fine in 5 days. This is just a basic idea, but I'd gladly send it to the bank and count on it cashing for someone of your description and experience.
The Mental Side
If Alcohol is a problem for you and your wife, it is unlikely that you will ever be able to return to a type of drinking in which other areas of your life are not made to suffer the cost. It just doesn't work that way. I personally consider the idea of trying to quit to be pointless if the idea is clearly in your mind that you're not done with Alcohol. It makes it a no-less of a noble effort, but it will not actually lead to the positive change in your life that you're desiring.
If Alcohol is making your life difficult, it's better to just be done with it completely.
You need to find something in your life that takes the place of Alcohol. I think daily programs like the 12 Steps are great for this purpose, as they put a placeholder in your life that you can hope to grow from and reestablish the ability to enjoy yourself through means other than Alcohol.
You're probably not ready to do something as hardcore as AA, but I'd highly recommend it.
For you, that might just mean reconnecting with people you've forgotten as you've partied that were once important to you. The biggest thing is not to be isolated with yourself(s). Go out, do things, experience things, reengage in hobbies. Perhaps you once enjoyed making music or hiking. Maybe your dog is feeling lonely as she hasn't been walked as much as she used to. At any rate, there are things out there waiting to make you feel happy and accepted and they're waiting.
In the beginning, like the first week, it's not easy to go to dinner parties when you're drenched in sweat and feeling the fear of Alcohol, but that doesn't mean you can't start. Often, the best way to start is by telling other people of your intentions. You might be surprised who is willing to come and keep you company if they know you're trying to do some good for yourself.
It won't work if you just say, alright, day 1 and sit yourself on the couch and stare at the clock.
There are a ton of other people out there, especially chronic Alcoholics who live just to take on other Alcoholics. If you call the hotline, you'll have a dufus at your house in 20 minutes who will not only understand your situation on a visceral level, but he or she had been where you are now. Getting someone like that attached to you and in your life and business is sometimes required.
Opinion
I know people who say they quit Heroin spontaneously following an Acid Trip (bullshit). I've known people whose minds were cured by a trip to a Native American sweat lodge. I know a lady who says jogging, yes, jogging is what cured her of her chronic Methamphetamine addiction. Her and other former Meth addicts in this little town in Missouri now jog around the town as a group. It's pretty strange, but also pretty beautiful.
People are cured by having children. They see their baby and that's enough, they're done. Mothers who stop the day they become pregnant.
Everyone is going to give you a slightly different version of their opinion, but I think the point stands that having something truly meaningful to you in your life is what is required. Getting over the physical effects are arguably the simplest part of the process. Most of us here with the knowledge could tell you exactly how much of this or that to take to mask your symptoms, get you through the week like nothing. You have to find something in yourself worth not drinking over.
