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Welcome How Are You in One Word vs wait! Just one?!

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I just want to hurt myself for everything I missed out on and the alternative life I might have lived and am constantly haunted by.
 
Exhausted

Extremely stressful day at the office today. The past few days at work I haven't been able to get all of my work done. I don't feel as if I have been slacking at all, but it's just been extra annoying in terms of how much of it there is. Nonetheless, my boss left me a little note today about being sure to finish everything assigned to me that read slightly condescending/threatening (in my mind, unsure if this was the actual intention). That note stuck in my head for the entire eight hours. I went to work on three hours of sleep, so the anxiety was already primed.

Have been spinning plates in the air lately trying to make incremental regular progress on a few interests of mine that I may potentially turn into a new career, or at least a profitable side-project. Trouble is that I use some of my income from my regular job to fund these ventures, so I must not get too caught up in them so as to jeopardize their funding. It's a balancing act, sure. And I don't care how spiritual and enlightened a person you are, if you are seriously trying to improve your life, you will end up stressing a lot about money. It takes money to make money, and getting the ball rolling is the hardest part.
 
Concerned, I just did something risky and wonder why.
 
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