Hello All, Noob here that has taken 1.4 G of MDMA in One Night - Exp and Advice?

[datpancakemix]

So, I made a completely stupid move that belittles my intelligence on every level and was hoping to get some advice on my future. Please feel free to bash me, but just know i do enough of that to myself already.


*Previous Drug Related Exp: 34 years old - 10 years of smoking marijuana everyday, Never had any anxiety or depression in my life, I only drink when i do coke and I just started cocaine 6-8x lines once a month for the past year and have done mdma 200-300mg around 4x previously once a month at the same time i was doing cocaine ( i know coke kinda blocks the effects from mdma but did it neways, which led to my underestimation of the drug )


< 3 weeks ago >
So on April 25th, approx 3 weeks ago, ( only did Molly this nite, nothing else, and nothing for a month or so prior ) I ingested 700 mg of Molly, then another 500 around 6 hours later and 200 mg an hour or so after. I was having alot of fun at the time /w an insignificant other in my Jacuzzi ( we didn't get too crazy, just making out for a very long time ) which i was constantly making either cool or hot depending on how i felt every 30 min or so. An erection was near impossible, but I guess still fun at the time. After around 14 hours i decided It was a failed experiment and decided to go to sleep, which later found out was no easy task, so i spent the next 24 hours up playing video games, during this time i just felt awake and i think i was up for a combined total of around 70 hours, mentally i was fairly sound, until i was in bed, then i started having what i later learned to be brain zaps, felt like i was going unconscious, but not quite, very scary.. especially having a brother who is epileptic, but eventually i went to sleep. The next day i still had them, but it wasn't as bad and within 36 hours the zaps went away.


<2 weeks ago >
For the Next 3-4 days my Brain was extremely foggy and still is to this day but much better than it was intially, 0 ability to focus ( but that later improved ), during this time i had an icepack and fan blowing on me and packed at all hours except when i was asleep, eating salmon everyday, v8 and also taking htp-5 capsules 2 a day to help restore serotonin which after 3 days i stopped. After about 4 days of this I pussied out and went to the emergency room cause of anxiety out of what i had done and to get any kinda of prescription to help the comedown. They gave me lorazepam which i consumed for the next 5 days every 6 hours. After that, I decided to stop using the drug as to better ascertain my ability to focus. After this i decided to tell my family and spend sometime in their company to relieve the anxiety i was feeling that these side effects would never go away. After 4 days with them, i decided to go back home.


<Present>
I had extensive blood work done, all normal. Cat scan Normal, Still feeling the effects, but everyday there is slight improvement but i feel it's plateau'd. My Focus and Concentration are back to around 70% of what it used to be, I Enjoy and get excited and happy at the same things and to the same levels as i did before, but everyday for the past 25 days my temperature has been elevated from around 1 to 1.5 degrees above normal, which is kinda of driving me crazy as i need a fan blowing on me most of the day, i can no longer enjoy video games or work. The heat only subsides for 1 hour at the start of the day and while i'm in bed with my eyes shut, after about an hour of this and fans and icepacks cooling me, i am able to sustain a normal temperature, but within 5 minutes of opening my eyes again, my temperature goes back up. it's always rite around 99.6 degrees or so and i feel it's constant, it hasn't gone down much since the very beginning. Once a week my hearing becomes acute for several hours, no buzzing or ringing, just very sensitive.


I excersized for the first time in a long time 1 week ago, that day i felt a negative appetite had to go to emergency for low potassium and puffing up, which was later diagnosed as anxiety and the doctor said i may have burned through some of the mdma trapped in fatty tissue, that same night i would close my eyes and my imagination was augmented with a bit of color. Contrary to this I feel like my emotions have returned, i'm the same as i am before, no depression or anxiety most of the time, but when i get brain fog for several hours then it comes back, like it is right now. I was prescribed Zyprexa, It did give me some Appetite, which i have not had for these past 3 weeks at all, even thou i'm eating healthy. But After one dose, i decided that my anxiety and ability to sleep was not so bad to warrant it, so i stopped.


I've read that MDMA constricts your blood vessels in the brain and that mdma could also remain in the brain for sometime. I think my temperature is due to the constricting blood vessels and my brain repairing itself to a certain degree. I also think the Brain Fogginess might have something to do with that, but i do not know and the doctors and psychiatrists i've spoken to seem to just shrug off any questions with very little explanation. Maybe i will have better luck being referred to a neurologist? Will a Pet Scan and monitoring of my blood vessels help me, has anyone experienced this sort of approach and can give advice as to what i can expect? ( still trying to find an experienced neurologist, any that are known in the los angeles area to be experienced in mdma overdoses*, i would very much appreciate it if anyone could drop me their contact info )


My question is... based on what i've said. When will my temperature return to normal? is it possible that it is malignant? has anybody experienced this increase in temperature that has lasted for 3 weeks consistently everyday? and when will this Brain Fogginess subside, will it go away when my temperature goes away or will it remain afterwards, i don't know? These past 3 weeks i've done no drugs, but i feel like my progress has reached a plateau, my emotions and happiness are back but my anxiety is constantly at odds with my progress. I appreciate any and all criticism or advice, I just want to be normal again and i know there are many people in much worse situations than myself which i feel so sorry for and have scared me into never doing this drug again and for that i give my condolences and apologies to any one who is offended by anything i've said, i've been reading everyday for the past few weeks and this is my first post. So take it easy on me.

 

[Clocktower]

Assuming you're suffering the aftereffects of MDMA abuse and not some complicating condition, you can expect to feel better in a few more weeks to a few months. Longer in rare cases.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

The doctor said you were affected by mdma trapped in your fat tissue for a month?....shocking

 

[RDP89]

Why on earth would you dose that high? I feel bad for you, but let this be a lesson to others that even if you have the purest tested MDMA, you can still fuck your world up for a long time if you dose crazy amounts, or even just from using too often.

 

[datpancakemix]

luckily everyday there is progress, my temperature is much more manageable, it's a wonder how much 1/2 a degree of de-escalation feels, i don't have to have a fan on anymore, my temperature is like a quarter to one half a degree above normal, my foggyness is here and there, like 10-15% of my day. I've retained my cognitive abilities, my spatial awareness is getting back slowly, my concentration and everything is improving day by day, I still have the same thought processes, i was very positive afterwards and i'm still positive now. Everyday it improves little by little. Yesterday was really the start, i had no temperature for close to 7 hours, which was pretty amazing. I was also able to watch 2 movies and pay full attention. Yesterday i did kind of have an anxiety attack in the morning for 10 min, but today so far none. And... the only reason i dosed so high is that i quickly checked the internet before i dosed and made a miscaluclation in the amount of mdma i should take. It also contributed that the 3x previous times i took 200-300 mg i barely felt anything, but i was also doing coke, so yeah. Either way i'm done with these types of drugs.. maybe it's a mixed blessing ( cliche af ik ) that i felt these after effects as much as i did, or i might be doing mdma with coke every month for the next few years. I think it helps that i'm 34 and have done weed for like 10 years, my brain is already full developed. And i have 0 inclination to ever do more mdma or coke in the future. The Brain is amazing, just gotta have faith.

 

[datpancakemix]

thank you for your words, they do mean alot. I'm sure i won't be the rare case, or if i am, it's the one that recovers even quicker than most for the amount that i did.

 

[datpancakemix]

=) thx

 

[datpancakemix]

So i guess, i'll provide an update for my situation ( It's more for myself, than anything else, i suppose, but any feedback is really appreciated ) it's 6 weeks after the incident. I've had improvement on some levels. But i'll provide a breakdown for continuity.

Week 5: My Temperature fluctuates around half a degree above normal, usually at random times throughout the day, it tends to subsides if i keep my eyes closed for 20 minutes or so. Also, had some vision problems, bright lights would really affect me, my left eye has really bad vision so for awhile it helped to just keep it closed because the out of focus nature of that eye made me squint too much, but that's pretty much gone away. I think it was somehow related to my diet, maybe low potassium. This entire week I've had Ice Pick headaches and a kind of sizzling feeling in back of my head, nothing pounding or serious, but still something I've never experienced before. I've been playing little mental games, tracking targets, 10 or so at a time.. I spend between .1-.2 doing a little cursory eye target acquisition and move between them all. Most of the times this speed is 40% of what i am used to prior to the incident. Sometimes i can't get passed the 4th or 5th target with a massive mental lag and an unwillingness to continue.

Week 6: I had 2 Anxiety Attacks this week within hours of each other, I think it was related to smoking marijuana, which i've done for years, but have stopped every since the incident, it seems to have an adverse effect on me, I think it was also in large part due to eating ( low potassium i think, which i've corrected ), so i have been taking my zyprexia(olanzapine) a little bit more often, I stopped taking it altogether for a couple of weeks, but i feel that the anxiety and loss of appetite is catching up to me. Still have temperature fluctuations, on a side note, my sleep was vastly improved after taking L-Tryptophan, around 1,500 mg at nite, i can sleep 8-9 hours now, but on the days i take L-Try, i stay away from zyprexia and vice versa to avoid Serotonin Syndrome. I know i should keep taking one or the other, but i'n just really hesitant, but i guess i have to make a call soon on one or the other. Yesterday, for 5 hours i felt fairly normal. I played my little target acquisition game in my head and for around a solid hour, i think at the same exact speed i would have been at prior to this entire incident, acquired all targets mentally and there was no lag. I felt really good, I was also listening to music, but I felt that i had almost completely recovered for around 4 hours of that day, but had to lay in bed for a bit afterwards where the mental speed again slowed down, I had a decent sleep, My dreams have been more normal this past week and less negative, I'm grateful for that.

Present: Still searching for answers, My Mental Speed is extremely important to me right now it's at around 60%, The little Ice Picks i would feel are completely gone for 3 days, my temperature is slightly elevated. I'm not having anxiety attacks, but i'm afraid by taking such a large dose of mdma i've permanently fried my receptors and this is how it's going to be like for life. I'm 34, my brain is done growing. I'm not getting super depressed about it, still though.. if My mental speed gets back to what it used to be for the entirety of the day, i believe i can only be really happy when that happens. I'm ok watching TV, even with subtitles, but if i have to actively participate in any game, i just get flushed with anxiety from my inability to move at the same pace as everybody else. I've stopped getting the foggy periods where i'd just get a little dizzy out of the blue by looking one way or the other really quickly, so that is a plus. If anybody identifies with the progress i've made thus far, please feel free to comment. I'm also looking for an alternative to Zyprexia(olanzapine) that i can take with L-Tryptophan, or something i can take for Appetite or Anxiety on an as needed basis? Thank you for reading this far, whomever you might be.

 

[busted.produk]

Im not going to criticize, although i am curious as to why you would(even want to) dose so high with two(well, one of the two) high redoses? Did you just decide dose size blindly(no judgement whatsoever here--just cant grasp rationale) never having researched the drug itself??
Did you test your "molly" to see if it was mdma or get any cofirmation(or was it too late by the time you went) from the doctors that that was in your system??
Im also curious why you chose your dosing pattern(from large to small) in the way you did.....

Those are my questions(if you feel like answering) to you and my only suggestion at this point is to either take the zyprexa regularly(assuming it was prescribed to take daily) or dont take at all.
Im pretty sure thats a med that takes a period of scheduled dosing to reach equilibrium before achieving proper therapeutic potential.

All in all its good to hear youre feeling better even if it is a slow progression.

Its gonna take time. You said "my brains done growing" but you failed to recognize that its always working toward optimal function.
You(we all) might have "fried circuits" but the brain makes new connections continually with unused space.
It might take longer(or just feel that way) cause youre not in your 20s(or younger) but i believe it will always be working toward that optimal performance/equilibrium state.
Neuroscience is always advancing and we're continually learning new shit or disproving old shit.
Humans are surprisingly resilient.

 

[Clocktower]

Glad to hear you're making progress datpancakemix, and I encourage you to keep posting updates. It is certain that you will not be the last person to make (or consider making) this mistake, and future readers will surely find your experience educational.

 

[datpancakemix]

well, thanks for your wise words busted, it's appreciated, and also to answer your question, I went to the emergency room 4 days afterwards, and they said it was out of my system, so no luck there. but aside from that, there was ALOT of things that led me astray in terms of judgement, first i've been hanging around a new group of friends who talk about dropping 1.5-2g like it isn't a big deal, but they've been raving for years, they are like super big in the whole gloving scene, i'm still a noob and underestimated it, that's one reason. Second reason is i've done mdma with coke 4 times prior and i never felt the mdma rush and never even had anything close to a hangover or comedown, i know cocaine cancels it out, but it never really hit me how much i would need to have a good time with it on it's own and because of that i did not give it the respect it so very obviously deserves, but i never really researched the drug that much, thirdly i heard the statistics here and there that it was safe, but after doing it 4x at 300mg dosage without feeling much, i thought i had pretty much confirmed that suspicion. But i was absolutely wrong. It was just a series of unfortunate conclusions which led me down this path. I'm not even the type to go crazy with drugs, in 100x i've been offered cocaine, with my friends doing it every night, i've only partook in it 1 out of 10 times, I don't believe in going crazy most of the time. Fourthly i was in my brand new Jacuzzi with a really hot date for hours on end. and Fifth and last of all, i never even meant to hook up mdma, i meant to get 7g of coke but my friend screwed up and brought 7g of mdma, i felt bad so i just bought it off him, thinking that eventually i'd go through it all, and when i hooked up with that hot date... everything just came together in a fucked up jumble of bad news, i'll regret it till the day i die, but what can i do now.. just gotta live with my mistakes. On the bright side, i'm feeling great today in comparison to the last 45 days, still not 100% but i " think " i can see the light at the end of this tunnel, but it plays tricks on me alot, i've felt great at least half a dozen days for limited periods of times, thinking it was all over, just to trip on myself the next morning... just gotta believe that progress is being made, even if it's like i'm walking in retrograde.

 

[datpancakemix]

thanks Clock, as humans we eventually reach a certain point where we have to pass some knowledge down and in trust it to future generations to not make the same mistakes and if they do at least they can have some kind of measuring stick to their own demise.

 

[Scrofula]

we eventually reach a certain point where we have to pass some knowledge down and in trust it to future generations to not make the same mistakes

Hopefully that knowledge will include not using drugs while being treated with anti-psychotic medication, and to take your anti-psychotic medication as directed (unless by a doctor that tells you MDMA hides in your fat. I wouldn't trust him).

 

[MrPurpleNurple]

You sure what you got was mdxx? Sounds a little off putting when you say you were up 70+ hours. Even at a heroic dose something seems iffy.
After about a .5 my receptors are zapped and the last thing I'd think of doing is redosing another 500+ mg.
Did you feel sick at all during the experience? Surely dropping bombs that big will make any normal person throw up. Let alone the double/tripple vision you should have had wouldn't have allowed you to see straight for hours lol
I guess you could have gotten MDA, which has a more of a stimulating/psychedelic effect. I ate a .3 of very pure shards one time after a .2 of MDMA at a house party and rolled 12+ hours but holy shit the come down felt entirely toxic to the body.
Just keep yourself hydrated, most amphetamines seem to repress the urge to drink water even while deathly dehydrated, you fried you're brain without any butter essentially lol
Hope you make a speedy recovery.

 

[busted.produk]

Man, yeah i feel for ya...ive made my share of choices with shitty outcomes so i feel comfortable saying(even though i have difficulty embracing the advice myself) do your best not to beat yourself up(being that youve already beat the shit out of yourself) about it.
All you can do at this point is learn from it and try not to repeat.
Just stay with that "upward trajectory" and youll hit a place of comfort again.

Im not that much older than you but ive been doin X(among other things) for 20yrs with a solid 5yrs(3 of which goin completely overboard) where it was my DOC but i can still blow up(if i havent done it in a month or so) proper off .2(even though if im doin an all day or all night, 12hr or so session i end up doin .5-.8) so when i hear, "....group of friends who talk about dropping 1.5-2g like it isn't a big deal", if thats per person for a single session, it leads me to believe somethings not right with their drugs.

Im not going to speculate about all that or go any deeper into my drug habits/usage(because this thread is focused on you) but i did feel like i had to at least address it.

I definitely agree with clocktower's last post that you should keep posting updates(and that you wont be the last to make a similar mistake) if for nothing else, to have a task to do regularly that promotes cognition.
Besides that, it can be therapeutic and will definitely be of help, in one way or another, to a future reader.

 

[Scrofula]

Yeah, a lot of you are citing weights here and everywhere else, even if it's mostly in half gram measures. Are you buying powder?

Back in the day with my mileiu, no one ever cited a measure, units were pills or capsules. You didn't measure or think about it, you took a pill to start and a redose like two hours later, and hope the pills were "good". Figured the more ambitious folks might take three or four pills in a night, but the consensus then was that anything after one redose was just a waste. Talking about the amount of active ingredient was pointless, since there was no way to know. Merchant could say anything.

If I have a point:
Powder you buy by weight, and then you have reasons to try to increase weight.

I'd be wary of comparing milligram doses between people thousands of miles apart.

 

[datpancakemix]

Hopefully that knowledge will include not using drugs while being treated with anti-psychotic medication, and to take your anti-psychotic medication as directed (unless by a doctor that tells you MDMA hides in your fat. I wouldn't trust him).

Yeah, i'm not using any illegal drugs right now, but for the record, incase it was unclear I only started zyprexa 2 weeks after this incident ( it was suggested by an addiction medicine department in this hospital i go to, which i was very suspicious about since it's an anti psychotic, but it was given to me to alleviate anxiety/loss of appetite/sleep ... all of which i was having problems with ) i never had to take medication for anything before this. And i wouldn't take drugs while on zyprexa, which i'm not going to continue taking, since i think i'm doing better.

Also, yes another reason i did such a large dose initially was that i was in the middle of a jacuzzi/pool party and the mdma i got was all powder, did not want to have to keep messing with the bag. I never got double vision or felt nausea btw, but i did reup while coming down from a fantastic trip for the first 6-8 hours.

 

[busted.produk]

Yeah, a lot of you are citing weights here and everywhere else, even if it's mostly in half gram measures. Are you buying powder?

Shards or shards in capsules.
Right around the millenium the US(i travelled a lot) was flooded with shit pills, in my experience, so if u wanted actual X you had to know(or know someone who knew) a chemist..
It wasnt until the past few years i started seeing quality(EU) pills again.
It also didnt help that i got out of the scene but thats just my experience...

 

[datpancakemix]

yeah, like i said initially i'm a noob, only did mdma while i was with a date for a hot night, only wanted something to augment my previous experiences with coke and treated it as such.

 

[busted.produk]

Sorry, i just deleted my last post as it was unnecessary....
I realized though, we must wake up around the same time....ha!