Thanks for the all the responses. Im still clean...over 40 days approx....im kind of anti meeting; my best friend seemed to always get in worse situations from halfway houses; rehab etc.....my personal strategy is 'speak no evil'...i just quit, forget, and stop talking about H. Again, this is my 3rd time off H...1st time withdrawlig from suboxone....At 40 days, in doing okay...still sore and RLS when i wake up in the morning and at night. Ive just been smoking herb like once or twice a week and chilling. Im feeling so anti opiate right now.....Also, yes i am still sitting on tons of subox...i havent used any....Its been hidden in the house by a family member. I suppose its all in genuine desire to get clean.
Heroin has anyone here actually kicked Heroin forever?
- Thread starter Benway189
- Start date
DexterMeth
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I've been smack clean for almost 3 months now. Have been trying to quit for a while. I relapsed on a bottle of vicodin, but I killed that in a day (almost 2 months ago).
I blame MXE, for getting clean.
Thanks a lot F&B.
-I don't use MXE like it's the new disco.
I blame MXE, for getting clean.
Thanks a lot F&B.
-I don't use MXE like it's the new disco.
-Guido-
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Bullshit. I was shooting heroin for seven year. Bundles of dope a day, grams a day. I paid for my addiction by dealing, gambling, and running some very daring but legal schemes that resulted in large payouts just about every day. My first thought in the morning after my morning shot was when i was leaving to go score or how to get money to go score. One day I decided to start get "clean". My plan was to get on Methadone and stay clean long enough for them to only piss test me once a month. Once that was happening I would start using heroin again, and I would have the Methadone to fall back on if I couldn't get any dope. The first day of my Methadone maintenance I stopped using heroin and I haven't used it since. Something just clicked in me. I was tired of always being to fatigued to really show my girlfriend any affection and I was tired of the man I had become. I stopped because I learned to love myself and because I loved my doll face so much... It's now been 2 1/2 years being heroin free. I have no desire to ever use again and I never even thought about using again when doll face left me for no reason suddenly. I couldn't relapse because it would hurt me and I know it would hurt her.
Benway189, your body is not ruined forever, physically you can reverse a lot of damage if you eat right and start exercising and maintain a sober lifestyle within a year or two, perhaps even months since you have only had a 2 year run.
However, if you need to be on Suboxone or I need to be on Methadone for the rest of my life, there is nothing wrong with that. As long as you are healthy, happy, and functioning properly there is no need to feel guilty. You aren't taking Suboxone to get high, you are taking to feel normal and better yourself. Lots of other people take narcotics and even non-narcotic pharmaceuticals to live a happy and healthy life.
I get a week's worth every month or two, shoot it to no negative consequences, and go through minor WDs and be over it for a while. The only time that I'd desire, or feel it necessary, to kick it forever is if (or rather when) I start experiencing prolonged post-acute wd symptoms. It's only a matter of time as every round I tend to form a stronger physical dependence more easily. A binge that would have left me perfectly normal a day after ending now leaves me strung out for a week or two.
Nightlites
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Guido ur post hits home. I had/have a girl who loves me so unconditionally that it actully hurt me more seeing what my addiction to h did to her... So much love there, I didnt give a shit about wtf happened to me I just needed to go cop srry boo il call u later :/ n would leave her.... I seen her cry once because she said I deserve so much better then the stupid shit im doing to myself... :'( ... I realized I was fucking up something other then just myself then...
Srry off topic op
Me, im a week back on subs.... After relapsing for the last 2 mo/ths
Before this it was a 7 month clean period. I felt great.
Theres alot of shit out there to smile about, things to make u feel good besides a needle pumpin u up with instant (fake) feelgood...
Its fucking hard I admit, im still struggling.
Junky lifestyle is fucking hell on earth n cant be explained to any 1 person who hasnt lived it themselve
Srry off topic op
Me, im a week back on subs.... After relapsing for the last 2 mo/ths
Before this it was a 7 month clean period. I felt great.
Theres alot of shit out there to smile about, things to make u feel good besides a needle pumpin u up with instant (fake) feelgood...
Its fucking hard I admit, im still struggling.
Junky lifestyle is fucking hell on earth n cant be explained to any 1 person who hasnt lived it themselve
Nightlites
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(continued my phone died mid post)
I just dont know tho....
I was clean 7 months and doing so good, I had a amazing job, saved up a ton of cash that I had plans on getting new car, new pad etc...
Then I took a vacation home...
And I was there for 4 fucking days before I went and found my old hook...
4 days there was all I stayed clean!
Then a month and my 5,000$ savings all gone and im back living that fucking junky hell AGAIN...
Broke, scheeming cash, lying to friends and family, and hurting the people that truly love me.
I was fine, had a good life n now im at square 1 again. Actully its worse then square one bcuz I have debt and I burned some bridges with loved ones I can probly never repair.
Was it worth it? FUCK NO.
Rite now I wouldnt use. But a few months from now I may forget all this bad shit and start romancing that high again... Who knows.
This is all off topic tho somewhat I know so srry...
But ive read that eather 80% or 90% (1 of the 2) never recover from opiate addiction. Aka die a junky....
I hope its not true, if so thats a fucked statistic ive got myself into :'(
Wish yal the best. Opiates are the closest thing to hell on earth iv ever witnessed.
Lights.
I just dont know tho....
I was clean 7 months and doing so good, I had a amazing job, saved up a ton of cash that I had plans on getting new car, new pad etc...
Then I took a vacation home...
And I was there for 4 fucking days before I went and found my old hook...
4 days there was all I stayed clean!
Then a month and my 5,000$ savings all gone and im back living that fucking junky hell AGAIN...
Broke, scheeming cash, lying to friends and family, and hurting the people that truly love me.
I was fine, had a good life n now im at square 1 again. Actully its worse then square one bcuz I have debt and I burned some bridges with loved ones I can probly never repair.
Was it worth it? FUCK NO.
Rite now I wouldnt use. But a few months from now I may forget all this bad shit and start romancing that high again... Who knows.
This is all off topic tho somewhat I know so srry...
But ive read that eather 80% or 90% (1 of the 2) never recover from opiate addiction. Aka die a junky....
I hope its not true, if so thats a fucked statistic ive got myself into :'(
Wish yal the best. Opiates are the closest thing to hell on earth iv ever witnessed.
Lights.
What a brilliant statement. Kindred man!
cheetahrunwild
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best wishes nightlites.......
Nightlites
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Thanks cheetah
Im doin well now Im back to my sober city lol...
No hooks here, and I could find them if I wanted to im sure. But id rather judt say fuck it n not do that to myself...
But theres just something about herion that just pulls you to it.
I mean I would be trying to quit, and get on sub for a day or 2.
Then I would want to go get some sooo bad! It wasnt even that I wanyed to feel that h high at all! I just felt like I wanted to do it?
That might b a little confusing but it wasnt me wanting to get high on dope but there was just something pulling me towards doing it again! And it wasnt the effect it gave me? Maybe thats mental addiction I dont know...
Anybody ever felt like that before?
And its impossible for me to chip w/ the stuff so its all or nothing... :/
Im doin well now Im back to my sober city lol...
No hooks here, and I could find them if I wanted to im sure. But id rather judt say fuck it n not do that to myself...
But theres just something about herion that just pulls you to it.
I mean I would be trying to quit, and get on sub for a day or 2.
Then I would want to go get some sooo bad! It wasnt even that I wanyed to feel that h high at all! I just felt like I wanted to do it?
That might b a little confusing but it wasnt me wanting to get high on dope but there was just something pulling me towards doing it again! And it wasnt the effect it gave me? Maybe thats mental addiction I dont know...
Anybody ever felt like that before?
And its impossible for me to chip w/ the stuff so its all or nothing... :/
Sepher
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Benway, dunno if you wrote that acknowledging my sage advice earlier, or you was just, like, 'yeah, well obviously I did that Sepher ((( *wobbles head in Oprah Winfrey stylee* )))' but whatever, I don't care!
Just pleased for you fella. Really pleased for you. Keep on hanging in there. When I came off, I had no peers I could look to for a long time. Then I started work for a company where even the Directors were on Coke. Over time I got to know a couple of people working there who'd come off H, and were getting to grips with it, and we were so grateful to find eachother. It was like our own little exclusive club, our dirty little secret, cos we didn't know ANYONE who'd come off and stayed off. Turns out there's lots of us, but who knew? Far as we knew it was us against the world, and we were the only ones that had made it. I so wish I'd had BL back then.
round&round
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I quit heroin cold turkey 4 years ago and haven't touched anything since, not even alcohol. I had to leave my state to get away from everyone I knew and go to a psycho Christian Rehab for 9 months. I went to NA everyday for 2 years and still go once a week. Life is way better now, I'm married, graduating college, and getting a killer job with an investment bank. I never would have guessed. My mind and body are in no way damaged, but I think the H does some pretty bad emotional damage.
I still think about the stuff though. It doesn't ever leave me, but Im able to resist and not have it ruin my life anymore. But I can't break from it completely...hell, Im on this thread.
I still think about the stuff though. It doesn't ever leave me, but Im able to resist and not have it ruin my life anymore. But I can't break from it completely...hell, Im on this thread.
poppyplanet
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Heroin is one hell of a drug to quit but it's possible. I've been a heroin addict for the last 12 years but have been clear of it for about 5 years. The best thing to do, in my opinion, if you can't seem to stop and keep relapsing, is to look into suboxone treatment. That is what personally worked for me.
papa
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You can quit using heroin forever. I was hooked from the age of 18, until I turned 25. I stopped using heroin in 1979. I have never touched it since then.
I was so tired of the hustle and the risks I used to take to get high. I've pulled some real shit to get money for dope. If I had been caught for half of it, I'd probably still be in prison to this day. All the crap was building up and building up. It was one thing after another. It wasn't easy to quit.
I tried methadone treatment but that didn't work for me. I don't think suboxone had even been invented yet. At least I had never heard of it.It took some real pressure to get me to the point where I wanted to stop, but it only took one little thing to make me decide that that was the last straw and I was finished. My dealer wasn't around so I had to go cop on the street and I got ripped for $200. I even had a pistol on me but I let two motherfuckers push me up against a wall and take my money. There was a time when I would've shot both of them to keep from being robbed. That was the end for me..I never touched it again. I withdrew cold turkey.
I can talk and talk about how I did it and what it was that made me decide and all that. But none of that crap matters. The only thing that I hope you believe is the fact that you really can stop using heroin forever.
I was so tired of the hustle and the risks I used to take to get high. I've pulled some real shit to get money for dope. If I had been caught for half of it, I'd probably still be in prison to this day. All the crap was building up and building up. It was one thing after another. It wasn't easy to quit.
I tried methadone treatment but that didn't work for me. I don't think suboxone had even been invented yet. At least I had never heard of it.It took some real pressure to get me to the point where I wanted to stop, but it only took one little thing to make me decide that that was the last straw and I was finished. My dealer wasn't around so I had to go cop on the street and I got ripped for $200. I even had a pistol on me but I let two motherfuckers push me up against a wall and take my money. There was a time when I would've shot both of them to keep from being robbed. That was the end for me..I never touched it again. I withdrew cold turkey.
I can talk and talk about how I did it and what it was that made me decide and all that. But none of that crap matters. The only thing that I hope you believe is the fact that you really can stop using heroin forever.
Albion
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Do you mean like some sort of long-term subs program? So that you maintain the addiction, but to a lesser evil?
I mean suboxone treatment might wean you off heroin and eventually opiates in general...But when it's all said and done, it's not going to prevent you from going back to heroin again later down the line. It won't rid you of the psychological dependence.
frogman84
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I love some of the replies on the first page... It is funny that we can accept alcohol being used throughout our whole adult life, but when it comes to opiates it's like this overwhelming feeling that 'oh, i have to stop, i have to stop, i have to never take it again', 'oh no, i relapsed, i must be worthless, i am weak, i am terrible... etc.
If you had those thoughts about alcohol from when you very first tried it, you would probably drive yourself towards it more and more because of this obsessive type of thinking that is surrounding your thoughts of alcohol and the eventual pedestal you will place it on. Imagine that:
ME AS A KID: 'i tried some alcohol last week and it was rad, but now i must stop, i must stop, i must stop, i must stop'... next week after that you have some more alcohol and then all you can think about is 'wow, alcohol has this terrifying pull over me, it is so powerful... when in reality it was just something fun to do, so you did it again.
And i love the reverse Placebo effect that you get with drugs, thanks to all the well meaning, but ultimately clueless folk who think a drug addiction is something that must be stopped at all costs, even if it isn't doing you that much damage... as soon as people have gotten a good addiction going the whole mindset of everyone around them almost invariably turns towards how much their life is fucked up and they need to RECOVER. Well hello! if you obsess over how bad your life is, then you are getting this reverse placebo bullshit that actually does make your life crap. You start believing you have let your family down, you have let yourself down and so on. As well meaning as the people around you are, turing you into this thing that is broken and needs help is actually the sort of thing that will encourage and reenforce addictions. You started the addiction because you liked how you think on Heroin, but after your whole family found out and lost faith in you, you start needing heroin more seriously because you have reached a point in life that is isolated and very hard to exist in.
BE PROUD MY JUNKIE FRIENDS. We are on the new frontier! If you have to use for the rest of your life then so be it, it isn't actually all that hard anymore, and getting better all the time.
Just feel good about yourself ok, and understand your life is something only you (and possibly other heroin users) can fully understand
Look at Keith Richards, or any other rock star that has used quite a bit and still had a rad life. Then look at the typical doctor often telling you how badly you fucked up for using heroin, looking down on you because you like to use a drug.
just do your best and look at your drug use as part of your life. If you have to use for the rest of your life, so what...
You can be happy and be proud of your choices to see what you can do with your brain, or you can accept what the population of anti-drug types tell you about being worthless and about needing to recover and never touch a drug again, only to feel absolutely worthless because you have to accept you have done bad in life before any of these people can give you help...
I actually had to make up a sob story about how much my life and relationships were being affected by my drug use, just so i could get into a program that can prescribe me suboxone. I haven't had that much trouble from using opiate, but i needed some suboxone obviously as one does from time to time, but the programs here in Australia have only one mode in which they operate on... you have to be down and out before they prescribe you suboxone. What a way to operate - as long as you are still remaining productive in life, you cannot have a prescription for suboxone. Come and see us when your life is fucked up and we will happily help you to pick up the pieces with some suboxone.
If suboxone was easier to get, it can actually be used as a tool to stop people getting 'down and out'. Rather than some guy stealing stuff on a Sunday night because he ran out of opiates, if he had a prescription for suboxone he could just pop one, get a good night sleep and then stroll into work the next day with a smile on his face.
Be happy my friends, and know that we are the lucky ones. There may be pain, but the pain makes us strong. There may be a lack of sex drive, but at least we don't have four unwanted kids from ugly ladies who only got our seed because we were pissed as cunts and horny as fuck.
If more dudes were able to shrug of a dirty shag with a sub par ladie, the world would have less shit babies born out of relationships that had no attraction whatsoever.
If more people only got into relationships because they actually click with someone, rather than just because they wanted sex for a couple of months, think how much stronger each relationship will be.
If only more people had heroin.
If you had those thoughts about alcohol from when you very first tried it, you would probably drive yourself towards it more and more because of this obsessive type of thinking that is surrounding your thoughts of alcohol and the eventual pedestal you will place it on. Imagine that:
ME AS A KID: 'i tried some alcohol last week and it was rad, but now i must stop, i must stop, i must stop, i must stop'... next week after that you have some more alcohol and then all you can think about is 'wow, alcohol has this terrifying pull over me, it is so powerful... when in reality it was just something fun to do, so you did it again.
And i love the reverse Placebo effect that you get with drugs, thanks to all the well meaning, but ultimately clueless folk who think a drug addiction is something that must be stopped at all costs, even if it isn't doing you that much damage... as soon as people have gotten a good addiction going the whole mindset of everyone around them almost invariably turns towards how much their life is fucked up and they need to RECOVER. Well hello! if you obsess over how bad your life is, then you are getting this reverse placebo bullshit that actually does make your life crap. You start believing you have let your family down, you have let yourself down and so on. As well meaning as the people around you are, turing you into this thing that is broken and needs help is actually the sort of thing that will encourage and reenforce addictions. You started the addiction because you liked how you think on Heroin, but after your whole family found out and lost faith in you, you start needing heroin more seriously because you have reached a point in life that is isolated and very hard to exist in.
BE PROUD MY JUNKIE FRIENDS. We are on the new frontier! If you have to use for the rest of your life then so be it, it isn't actually all that hard anymore, and getting better all the time.
Just feel good about yourself ok, and understand your life is something only you (and possibly other heroin users) can fully understand
Look at Keith Richards, or any other rock star that has used quite a bit and still had a rad life. Then look at the typical doctor often telling you how badly you fucked up for using heroin, looking down on you because you like to use a drug.
just do your best and look at your drug use as part of your life. If you have to use for the rest of your life, so what...
You can be happy and be proud of your choices to see what you can do with your brain, or you can accept what the population of anti-drug types tell you about being worthless and about needing to recover and never touch a drug again, only to feel absolutely worthless because you have to accept you have done bad in life before any of these people can give you help...
I actually had to make up a sob story about how much my life and relationships were being affected by my drug use, just so i could get into a program that can prescribe me suboxone. I haven't had that much trouble from using opiate, but i needed some suboxone obviously as one does from time to time, but the programs here in Australia have only one mode in which they operate on... you have to be down and out before they prescribe you suboxone. What a way to operate - as long as you are still remaining productive in life, you cannot have a prescription for suboxone. Come and see us when your life is fucked up and we will happily help you to pick up the pieces with some suboxone.
If suboxone was easier to get, it can actually be used as a tool to stop people getting 'down and out'. Rather than some guy stealing stuff on a Sunday night because he ran out of opiates, if he had a prescription for suboxone he could just pop one, get a good night sleep and then stroll into work the next day with a smile on his face.
Be happy my friends, and know that we are the lucky ones. There may be pain, but the pain makes us strong. There may be a lack of sex drive, but at least we don't have four unwanted kids from ugly ladies who only got our seed because we were pissed as cunts and horny as fuck.
If more dudes were able to shrug of a dirty shag with a sub par ladie, the world would have less shit babies born out of relationships that had no attraction whatsoever.
If more people only got into relationships because they actually click with someone, rather than just because they wanted sex for a couple of months, think how much stronger each relationship will be.
If only more people had heroin.
frogman84
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2007
- Messages
- 113
Imagine you went off to war thinking "i am so bad, i am useless, i need help, i am messing up with my life"
Then imagine you went to war thinking "I am strong, i can do this, i will fight for what i believe in my heart, i am proud to be who i am"
You are entering a very dangerous situation, with both war, and heroin and the amazingly ironic thing is, the more you feel proud about having used heroin the less trouble you will have in your life because of it. The more you let yourself and others beat you up for something you did in the past the worse you will be affected by heroin.
Stay safe, of course, but remember no one on this earth knows the ultimate answer and it may very well be those who have started changing our brains with drugs are actually the closest to what we as humans should be doing.
Imagine if a government of monkeys (before humans existed) passed a law that said 'no monkey is allowed to change his brain in any way'. The world would still be run by them and not us.
Learning how to change the balance of our naturally occurring neurotransmitters could be the single most important things for humans to be doing.
Then imagine you went to war thinking "I am strong, i can do this, i will fight for what i believe in my heart, i am proud to be who i am"
You are entering a very dangerous situation, with both war, and heroin and the amazingly ironic thing is, the more you feel proud about having used heroin the less trouble you will have in your life because of it. The more you let yourself and others beat you up for something you did in the past the worse you will be affected by heroin.
Stay safe, of course, but remember no one on this earth knows the ultimate answer and it may very well be those who have started changing our brains with drugs are actually the closest to what we as humans should be doing.
Imagine if a government of monkeys (before humans existed) passed a law that said 'no monkey is allowed to change his brain in any way'. The world would still be run by them and not us.
Learning how to change the balance of our naturally occurring neurotransmitters could be the single most important things for humans to be doing.