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H Withdrawal Soon/Chronic Pain & Health Problems/We Can Do It!

Just wanted to quickly update it's now 6am and I don't feel well. Going to take an Ativan, a strip of Imodium and a drink of codeine.
Watching some old survivor....Pearl Islands :)
 
Morning all, thanks for all the support, and yup, day 4 again. So Bliss, you are in Canada? Nice, I can't do codeine, cause I break out in rash really bad, and I like your way of thinking about mj, I agree but I can't take that either, I get extremely high heart rate and anxiety from it, only tried it couple times, my doc is oxys 30 s, my tolerance was so high I actually tried h, but idk, wasn't that great for me so I went back to 30s. I have lots medical issues too, 3 herniated discs, etc... just got health insurance but hate, hate going to doc. I am caretaker for my 91 y.o. mom who had basal ganglia stroke last year, it isn't easy, but hanging in there for now. Fondly, bono
 
Last edited:
"Pluto" by björk...

User quixoticmachine on YouTube. Warning, explicit video.

Excuse me
But I just have to
Explode
Explode this body
Off me

I'll be brand new
Brand new tomorrow
A little bit tired
But brand new.

Peace.

Edit... Beginning of video is black. Nothing wrong with your screen :)
 
Oh, guys.....
Transparency .
I'm waiting for my guy to come back with pathetic perks. Ugh self loathing enough for everyone.
 
What is your favorite, oxycontin? I can read back... I did get that text, want some 30s?? but I said no, omfg, I can't get it out of my mind though, like ya said, I hear it whispering...
 
Have to run out, just stopping in to say don't add self loathing on top. Chronic pain is a whole mother nightmare. It is not easy. Do your best. You don't need to be perfect.

Love love love to everyone.

Peace.
 
I just feel so..... Ugh . Not right. It's like someone said that their family thought they were high when they were in WD and the reverse. That's the way I feel. I don't feel like myself unless I have opiates inside me. I took 5 perks (so only 25mg oxy) but makes you right with the world when you've been off it. Feels so "normal".
I have this fight every month. An internal battle. I guess I would say I didn't have problems except that I take more than prescribed so I run out early. This is the real problem, I need to figure out a way to stop doing this.
I have a timed lock box so I CAN do it. It usually starts out great but then goes rapidly downhill.
 
Wow, Bono, you turned down 30's?!? You're my hero. Get them and send them to me. Lol! would be nice! That must have taken willpower of steel! Are you in chronic pain? How long have you been using and what's your DOC?
 
Of to the store now but wanted to pop in and say you are all on my mind.

I took a bit of Oxy today so I could do this and frankly I'm so weak and tired I still barely can lol.

But. I will. Ugh. Sigh.

Sending love to you guys, will be around later.

You are all beautiful, trying hard, doing your best. Love yourselves.
Peace.
 
OK done^ lol! Yes I have 3 herniated discs with all kind of nerve "encrocement" etc.. I am on neurontin atm, and have subs, my tolerance is pretty high so it gets expensive. I could of said yes but I find it frustrating cause my person always takes forever, then I always buy her no less than 2. My patience has been less than tolerable lately, so I just said no, for now. I go thru periods where I can do this but it plays on my mind. How are things going for you bliss? Hope you were able to get.?? I am looking at surgery, but I can't for now, my mom is 100% dependant on me, I have 4 kids but they are all grown, I am in 50s and feeling it lately, I could pass for 30, though, young soul at heart, luvs ya all, bono
 
My above thread was in jest to your comment, Bliss, may run in to trouble at customs lol, only kidding, ABW- you are like the everyready battery, you just keep going, and your sweetness shines thru, thanks for all the positive vibes you give off, it helps at this dark time, fondly, bono
 
Awwww, bono, thank you, thats so sweet of you. I see you supporting on the other thread, too, so, likewise, hon.

Bliss I hoped you are feeling better by now and not upset with yourself. You are making progress.

I have to head to bed, I an absolutely beat. But if I wake up in the night I'll check back. Of not I'll be here in the morning.

I hope everyone has a good night. If anyone is lurking and reading and kicking, you can do it.

Post if you need or want to :)

Love,
Peace
 
Hello, peeps!

3:56am and thought I'd check back in for the night. Yes I got my perks. I took 2 doses today and just counted and still have 35 left. If I have 2 doses tomorrow (only redose when I'm absolutely awful) then I'll ha e 25 for when Hubby goes away for work.
Kind of disappointed in myself as credit card bill came in and I had bought 4 seasons of survivor before I had found a secret site that streams free all seasons. Merp. I had looked before but nothing worked!! And I was in the throes of WD then so desperate to get my mind off my problems. Anything to shut that damn voice up. Lol. It's amazing how I'm mad over $45 but don't blink about spending $400 on "other" stuff. Geez.
If I really want to control myself maybe I can dose once and then use my codeine/lyrica for the other. But honestly idk if I can only dose once when I know how much is left. We'll see- my 1st choice is always morning dose so I don't have to decide just yet. It'll be a victory in itself if I don't CWE them- but I hate CWE perks because they're so pricey and I don't want to waste any oxy at all.

So I went to Costco to price out and take pictures of desserts for the baby shower... I also got new clothes for my teen son who adult M's are getting small on. 4 tommy shirts, 2 adidas shirts and 4. Adidas pants. Yikes. $$ I wasn't planning on spending. The hub has to prepay meals this week and gets reimbursed so I can't leave him too dry.
Finally got a huge cheese pizza so I can phone in Monday's dinner. Lol. The easier, the better . I'll do one takeaway meal. Then "taco Tuesday". Then I only have 1 meal left to make. It's so different when hubby's not here because the kids are pretty picky so it's kind of a waste making most of my go to meals, because they just plain won't eat them. I should go to Lilly's and get some seafood chowder for myself, and then fix the kids some cheesy Mac or something. Lol. My oldest is addicted to grilled cheese. Gonna be a fun week.

Hope everyone is doing well. I am
Feeling a little mentally stronger now that I have just enough med to keep me out of WD but not enough to hang myself and take too much and be too sleepy when the kiddos need me. I got this!

Talk after my sleep,
 
Good for you Bliss. So you have no worries for a bit. All this talk has my mouth watering, jk, welcome to day 5. What do you get, 5s? I can't take them, well or should I say don't like em, they make me puke, guess the Tylenol in them. I like the plain 30s but so far I am behaving myself, gotta go help my mom, I'll check back later! X O, bono.
 
Hope you are continuing to do well bliss.

Bono, I hope today is a good day for you hon. You deserve a break.

Honestly not doing great today. Mentally and physically exhausted, crying, ugh.

Hopefully I'll pull myself out.

Love ya
Peace
 
^What's wrong ABW? You are the first to offer support, talk to me??? I'm sorry to hear you are not well, I'll listen!
 
You are so sweet, thank you. Feels nice just to know people who understand care.

I'm a bit calmer now, watched some funny stuff. Health problems make this hard is all. I'm very impatient when it comes to hurting, feeling fatigued, etc, I lose my temper about it. Otherwise I try not to show anger ever as who wants to feel like that or be on the receiving end? Ya know?

Thank you for caring. I so so so hope your situation improves somehow.... Seriously, my heart breaks for you and sun. My God.

Much much love to you beautiful soul
Peace
 
I know all of what you are saying. I too am short tempered especially when hurting. Been doing taxes, omg. Don't know what is more draining?? Hope you get some relief soon, ABW, someone once mentioned about all of us meeting up somewhere and going thru this to gether, I think we kinda are, the support here is overwhelming! Hope you are ok? Fondly bono
 
I feel like getting the perks was a mistake.

If I had hung tight if be one Day 5 by now. Day 6 has me starte feeling humanish again .

Good on both of you!
Again I had romanticized the notion of have ing something, but, my head space is poor. Not just from pausing things, but from my husband baking away soon (I sure would make a crappy military wife!) and knowing that I Still have a lot of prep work to do for the shower. Prep work I don't feel like doing in the slightest. I tend to just fall apart when lots of things are expected of me. The more things that are on my back the worse I do. So lame.

Now I can't even seem to make decisions on easy things. And I don't want to attend the shower either. Too introverted. At least there's no snow due when I'm home alone- that would have been awful.
Sorry to be such an eeyore. I'm
Not normally so gloomy.
 
Try not to be too hard on yourself, Bliss. You just keep putting one foot in front of other, all that counts. You are taking care of yourself and your family, you aren't bionic. Keep posting and getting it out, writing can be cathartic, we are here for ya. What is the shower about? Just being nosey. Hang on in there, you matter!!! Fondly, bono.
 
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