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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

Gibberings ver. CCXVII - More Mouth Than A Cow Has Cunt

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Zopiclone bandit said:
Little shits should be out robbing sweets from the local Spar, not being guided by their parents on the finer points of begging.
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My thoughts exactly (apart from robbing our local Spar - it's too handy to get a ban from)
I refuse to engage in Halloween at all
My child is with father (on his annual voluntary care offer) & I've been in my bedroom with a bottle of wine & a sleeper since 6pm, lights off downstairs, outside is swarming with the little shits & I haven't had a single knock on the door so far

Winner
 
I've just ordered some weed from a local delivery service - then realised "fuck, I'm going to have to answer the door". So I had to text him to let me know when he was outside so I didn't have to deal with the scrounging little cunts...


(Worked a treat)


Then later, I had to navigate the takeaway delivery guy through the melee...
 
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F.U.B.A.R. said:
I've just ordered some weed from a local delivery service - then realised "fuck, I'm going to have to answer the door". So I had to text him to let me know when he was outside so I didn't have to deal with the scrounging little cunts...


(Worked a treat)
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Ive already told about a dozen different groups of kids to fuck off. The first ones that came, I was fucking fuming cos I thought it was my lass at the door and I had jumped (not literally) out the bath, threw on a pair of joggers and a hoodie, affixed my Forrest Gump boot onto my gammy leg to stop my ankle snapping and hobbled to the front door on my crutches, only to find these two little cunts in scream masks shouting "trick or treat mista!" through my letter box... I was fucking seeing red with rage by this point that these little cunts had made me do all this for nothing that I just yelled "fuck off" through the closed door as loud as I could. Maybe a bit of an overreaction but to put me through all that hassle (and pain) for nothing just really wound me up.
 
apocalypse_when said:
Ive already told about a dozen different groups of kids to fuck off. The first ones that came, I was fucking fuming cos I thought it was my lass at the door and I had jumped (not literally) out the bath, threw on a pair of joggers and a hoodie, affixed my Forrest Gump boot onto my gammy leg to stop my ankle snapping and hobbled to the front door on my crutches, only to find these two little cunts in scream masks shouting "trick or treat mista!" through my letter box... I was fucking seeing red with rage by this point that these little cunts had made me do all this for nothing that I just yelled "fuck off" through the closed door as loud as I could. Maybe a bit of an overreaction but to put me through all that hassle (and pain) for nothing just really wound me up.
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You could at least have offered the poor little darlings some lsd laced and urine soaked sweets you horrible man!

Fubz means his own kids for clarity's sake.
 
Buspersons Holiday said:
My thoughts exactly (apart from robbing our local Spar - it's too handy to get a ban from)
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I'd know nothing about that, honestly ;)

I've been in my bedroom with a bottle of wine & a sleeper since 6pm, lights off downstairs, outside is swarming with the little shits & I haven't had a single knock on the door so far

Winner
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God that made me laugh, yeah I can relate too well to that also.
 
Got in touch with a local dog charity that take dropped off dogs & ones that have been abused by foul people. This place gives the dogs medicine and tasty food the dogs like till they are better then stick them with someone that is kind to them to build their trust back in humans then find them a family to go live.

Got some woman to come check my yard out some point this week, it may be small but I have a huge woods at the back only a few mins walk up the street & you are nearly on the Staffordshire border so the dogs will enjoy going for walks & runs. The most hard part will be giving them back after looking after them for some time as I like dogs more than people.

this is one little bark machine I got my heart set upon looking after, just look at his little face

2h2h168.jpg
 
You need some Brussels sprouts in empty Ferrero Rocher wrappers. Gets 'em every time .....
 
Zopiclone bandit said:
Got some woman to come check my yard out some point this week, it may be small but I have a huge woods at the back only a few mins walk up the street & you are nearly on the Staffordshire border so the dogs will enjoy going for walks & runs. The most hard part will be giving them back after looking after them for some time as I like dogs more than people.

this is one little bark machine I got my heart set upon looking after, just look at his little face

2h2h168.jpg
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That's real cool. I hate seeing animals in cages waiting for someone to come and buy them.

I adopted a cat off this woman in 2016 who said she was too sick to look after her anymore. A week after this cat moves in, she crawls into this closet and gives birth. We put a few ads online to find the kittens homes and guess who shows up with the fucking audacity to ask for one of these kittens.

That woman, she wasn't joking when she said she was sick.

Found them all homes anyway. Except one. I kept him. Cool cat, plays fetch.
 
Fuckin daughter came home with a 12 week old pug puppy a couple of months ago.

I hate pugs.

But I must admit she's cute as fuck...

 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Fuckin daughter came home with a 12 week old pug puppy a couple of months ago.

I hate pugs.

But I must admit she's cute as fuck...

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My stray outdoor cats would beat the shit out of that at the slightest growl no problemo.
 
Yeh, so pugs are shit dogs. No question. I think we're all agreed.

But they're so fluffily buffily loverly duffiley cutely shit, that ya can't help but love 'em...

Little cunt...
 
That is a great doggo FUBAR, I remember when you posted about it the day she brought it back home.
You still working on that bike too you posted some timeback that I fell in love with, I cannot remember if it was an Indian or Triumph sadly.
 
Kaden_Nite said:
That's real cool. I hate seeing animals in cages waiting for someone to come and buy them.

I adopted a cat off this woman in 2016 who said she was too sick to look after her anymore. A week after this cat moves in, she crawls into this closet and gives birth. We put a few ads online to find the kittens homes and guess who shows up with the fucking audacity to ask for one of these kittens.

That woman, she wasn't joking when she said she was sick.

Found them all homes anyway. Except one. I kept him. Cool cat, plays fetch.
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Yeah I am with you on this one 100%, it breaks my heart to see the doggos in cages being all sad etc, I actually cry when I see stuff on the telly with sick dogs on it.

That woman sounds a right freak, did you tell her to fuck right off? The damn levels of rudeness in what she did is just crazy, who the fuck does she think she is??!!!?!?

Still got the cat now?

My mate rescued a cat from some guys his uncle drinks with as they weren't being kind to it & their cider came above everything & that means cat food too. As his a big guy & quite violent if it is called for her took the cat from them & told them if anyone has an issue to step outside.
The cat is a great animal & really likes me a lot, I dubbed it "Lady Snowblood" after the famous Japanese film about the female assassian.
 
Zopiclone bandit said:
That is a great doggo FUBAR, I remember when you posted about it the day she brought it back home.
You still working on that bike too you posted some timeback that I fell in love with, I cannot remember if it was an Indian or Triumph sadly.
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Mate, I sold that bike (1977 Triumph Tiger 750) - and got slightly more than that little pugnacious cunt is worth...
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Mate, I sold that bike (1977 Triumph Tiger 750) - and got slightly more than that little pugnacious cunt is worth...
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It would be a hard pick between that bike & the doggo, I bet if you fed it up & gave it a few decent vaped lines of PV you may be able to ride it down the M25 at 100mph too though.

Just placed an order off Amazon for one of those skull face bandana for 33pence, I have wanted one for ages but they were usually out of my price-range but I can push it to 33pence today.

if anyone else wants one here is the link
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00NBNV3OU/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Also anyone else see that series done by Walter Presents on Film 4 a few days ago called "Crows Blood"?
It is done in Japan & it is amazing & really freaky, it actually made me jump, well worth checking out for fans of Tetsuo: The Iron Man (Shinya Tsukamoto) or 964 Pinocchio (Shozin Fukui)

https://www.channel4.com/programmes/crows-blood
 
Fuck me sideways, was just chilling on the couch minding my own business when there's a BANG BANG BANG on the front door. I nearly shit meself and was gonna ignore it but they kept on banging so I hobbled to the door on me crutches and there's no one there. So I open the door and shout "who the fuck is it?" and some gormless cunt shouts up the road, "oh sorry mate wrong house".

Honestly, I was legit having a panick attack and could hardly fucking breath..

Fucking bastards!! I'm now typing this sitting on the shitter while I calm myself down..
 
evening all. 40 days clean on 2nd weekend release from rehab.

hope you're all suitably fucked for a friday. i'm not and i'm fine with that, instead i've been to my home NA and been told i've transformed from the half dead state i was in before. the change is real but its still hard.
 
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