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Getting things in line for the end.

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Erikmen said:
What's going on with you, for real. I have read the entire thread and I know you are not okay.
How can I help you?

You see, we all go through these phases of not wanting to live and our first immediate welcome thoughts are getting farther away from what it really hurts. I have been there, I have tried to hurt myself and have only caused pain to me, to others and I can't say I'm all that well nowadays but I'm glad I didn't do it.

When we cross that barrier of wanting to do it and really trying and doing it. Like hervabore once mentioned, it goes against our nature, our own instincts and what happens most of time is that we ended up in a worst place than before. Take me for example, I have OD'd and went to a coma for a couple of days. That has left deep scars, not only in my family (I'm not talking about guilty in here) it was against myself. For days I couldn't hear or talk and that was hell x 1000. Every minute took hours to pass, I was unfit to be a friend, a family member and it caused me pain.

I wonder if I had succeeded. I would have regretted because I would have lost so many good things that has happened afterwards during my recovery and years after. The pain is temporary, our body and mind has an incredible ability to heal, to adjust and to adapt to basically any situation that causes suffering. And we do adapt. I'm not talking about myself, but about tons of people who have gone this way. Trust me on that, this is temporary and whether you like it or not you will adapt.

Your body and soul are your home and it believe it will be your home for ever, even our energies are spread all over the nature, animals and human beings. Deal with what you can see, what's palpable. You don't know what's on the other side. Nobody knows and that itself is a big problem big if it's worse there's no come back.

I have read posts where you seemed well and others, not so much. That will give you a sample of what life is. A collection of moments, some of them can be bearable and good while others are not so much- but we are here to deal with them. So keep posting, keep sharing and you'll be fine.
Click to expand...

Hey don't do it. FaceTime me.
 
I really care about this thread, more than I should.

I have for you true followers. Please call my iPhone.
 
My story? Oh god here I'll try

I was born unwanted. I was born in a psych ward. Taken by the state. I was in foster care and then adopted at the age of two.

I did not meet my biolohigical until I already had a child of my own. Got it? Good. I was 18 when I met my biological mother.

When I started to realize her fucking illness... it terrified me. I mean... literally shook me.


Anyway, I am one out of four Shauna had. I am the baby. Her youngest. The only child taken by the state. Only me. She was ripped from me and I her.
I tested positive at birth for cocaine, meth (which I just spend so much data researching and am now livid) but I'm a crackhead baby. Born addicted to tons. Taken by the state of Idaho.

I'm literally ripping my hair out right now.
 
Great thread! OP, you should pick up the guitar and get writing! Sounds like you are an epic artist who is temporarily lost at sea :)
 
TheOpposite,

Your posts have become increasingly erratic. Please seek professional help... I don't think there is much else anyone can add.

All the best.
 
I'm just speaking and writing as quick I can on an iPhone. "Seek professional help".

Wow. Try again. But thank you for responding.
And yes I'm drunk.
 
I truly hope there is a younger souls or two or THREE out there reading.

Don't go crazy. Like me.
 
I am a 27 year old woman who had it all. Literally.

I knew I was so beautiful. Did not matter.

Don't destroy yourself like me.
 
I think I'm finally losing real grip. Anyone holding to me?

I am so, so sorry. I didn't write this to become a whole huge shit show.

Wow. I wish I could undo this... but I also don't.

I am... the definition of crazy folks. Not even the cops will touch me.

This should all be erased. I wish I had met you all.
 
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