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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Getting things in line for the end.

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Anyone reading this? I see you. You need to hold on. There is a reason you are.

Hold onto it. Now. That weird feeling....? Right now...? I'm about to die. But I'm going to haunt you.

Hear me. Hear this experience.
I understand.

I will always, always be with you. I am a thread of your existence. BAM. Feel it? Good.

I cannot give my name because my daughter is my world. But you mothers reading this? Read it all. All of it.

It's not your time if you made it this far.
 
Exhaust? Nah. I see you are in a dark spot but there must be light somewhere. Don't give up. Hold on. Quit drinking for a couple days. Talk to us......
 
Asia is fighting hard to keep me alive.

"Nah" to exhaust? You're wrong.

Yes to my book being finished.

I'm still alive. Don't know why. I'm literally peeling my face off. Meh.
Just hear what I wrote earlier. Chemically is not right.

And yes exhaust is.
 
My daughter is safe. It is all taken care of.
I had it all perfect, I thought.
I no longer have much of a face.
 
I've been up and around idaho on foot to whoever asked.
Idaho is going to be a thrill ride, as usual. Last years weather was fucking crazy.
Shoshone falls was EPIC.
 
I cannot express how much you all mean to me... I can barely see and I'm on wifi on my iPhone.

But I thank every one of you. I mean that. From my entire being.
I am always with you. Always now. Thank you.
 
I can also seriously, seriously hurt anyone reading this.

You beautiful souls thinking you want to die?
My thread is not for you. Hold on to your life.

I am evil for you.
 
Glad to hear you're still with us.

Who found you? What chemical did you take?

Reading through this thread there are some very well spoken people with some beautiful souls, yours included. If it weren't for the fact that I am such a manly ass man (super alpha male, fight a grizzly with my bare hands) I would have shed more than a tear or two.

Ok, damnit! Full disclosure!!! I dropped a couple very small, super tiny tears. This is one bad ass community of folks here and now, like it or not, you're one of us.

I hope each day that goes by you find health and peace. You are no longer walking alone, someone found you. Imbrace that gift.
 
I will not get into the exact chemical I made for fear some young soul will read this and try.
But it was a mix of bathroom cleaner and pesticide.

Don't try that. Unless you get it right. I didn't.
 
It can be very, very easy to die you know.
I am aware. I just also know the simplest ways are for cowards.
I will not die looking like a cowardess.

Whoever finds me, dead, is going to know I fought for life. And I fought that shit hard, also.
Make sense to you? Hope so. Because it does to me.
 
I will never deny my wanting to go peacefully in my sleep. Peacefully. I truly want that. But I cannot access ketamine or heroin.
 
Jumping off a cliff has always, always been option. I just know my daughter wants a body to bury.

Guns are messy, and I've never liked weaponry made by man kind.
 
I did witness a man committ suicide by jumping.
It was almost... beautiful. So, so free...
He truly was flying. And wanted death.

But no body to bury that way. My daughter can always bury memories and things of me, yes, but I know she wants a body. Me. She wants to bury me.
 
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