For the past year or so, I've been copping from a major seller in my area, and like most ppl in my city, he's selling what seem to be bath salts (synthetic cathinone) instead of genuine crack now. This is horrible, and I can't find real hard anywhere! Have been to multiple sources and am given that every time. It creates horrible mental results after some exciting pleasure, and the mental pain I get from it is so bad, and yet I feel compelled to smoke more of it, and often now, I end up throwing the rest of it down the toilet and flushing it so I don't end up in an absolute hell complete w/ hallucinations.
After a year of this crap, and me buying it like a fool many times, despite knowing it's fake---well, I finally said something to him, just calmly texting if he has any 'real hard' instead of 'synthetic hard.' He texted back that his is real, and 'What do I mean?' I didn't elaborate, not wanting to upset his pride. He told me emphatically that his is absolutely real, and he didn't know 'synthetic crack' is a thing. I just said, 'oh, ok.' And left it at that. I get other things from him that I don't want to lose sourcing of.
So, then the next day he texted me that he'd drop off a sample of hard, and...it's the same thing. Flushed it down the toilet after smoking some and being in absolute hell mentally as a result. I've already done one test on the substance, and it came back positive as a synthetic cathinone, most likely mephedrone according to the color that appeared. I used a test I found online to test just for cathinones, testing the substance, not my urine. Was positive. Today, I have another test arriving to test the powder remaining for cocaine, and I think it will show zero cocaine.
I haven't told my dealer that I tested it, and don't plan to, bc I'm not trying to create any conflict. But, this whole time, I've wondered if maybe part of why I get sold this continually is bc I'm a delicate little white girl who speaks properly, etc. I always felt like he was laughing at me when selling it to me, tho this arguably is maybe just in my mind.
What I want to know is: anyone else getting sold this crap? And do you think my dealer knows it's not real? It's a dirt cheap alternative, and I hate my intelligence being underestimated. I often feel like I'm in a battle of wits and will with my dealer, and, fortunately, this helps power me deeply to get sober, at least.
(Edit: Just to clarify, crack/this drug is a side thing that I sometimes get in addition to my main drug of choice. When I said that I 'feel compelled to smoke more of it,' what I meant was that after buying a 20 of it once in a while, I smoked another hit of what I already bought after having one hit, rather than flushing the rest. I'm not struggling with doing/buying this stuff often. I just like some crack as a cherry on top of my real drug habit sometimes.)
After a year of this crap, and me buying it like a fool many times, despite knowing it's fake---well, I finally said something to him, just calmly texting if he has any 'real hard' instead of 'synthetic hard.' He texted back that his is real, and 'What do I mean?' I didn't elaborate, not wanting to upset his pride. He told me emphatically that his is absolutely real, and he didn't know 'synthetic crack' is a thing. I just said, 'oh, ok.' And left it at that. I get other things from him that I don't want to lose sourcing of.
So, then the next day he texted me that he'd drop off a sample of hard, and...it's the same thing. Flushed it down the toilet after smoking some and being in absolute hell mentally as a result. I've already done one test on the substance, and it came back positive as a synthetic cathinone, most likely mephedrone according to the color that appeared. I used a test I found online to test just for cathinones, testing the substance, not my urine. Was positive. Today, I have another test arriving to test the powder remaining for cocaine, and I think it will show zero cocaine.
I haven't told my dealer that I tested it, and don't plan to, bc I'm not trying to create any conflict. But, this whole time, I've wondered if maybe part of why I get sold this continually is bc I'm a delicate little white girl who speaks properly, etc. I always felt like he was laughing at me when selling it to me, tho this arguably is maybe just in my mind.
What I want to know is: anyone else getting sold this crap? And do you think my dealer knows it's not real? It's a dirt cheap alternative, and I hate my intelligence being underestimated. I often feel like I'm in a battle of wits and will with my dealer, and, fortunately, this helps power me deeply to get sober, at least.
(Edit: Just to clarify, crack/this drug is a side thing that I sometimes get in addition to my main drug of choice. When I said that I 'feel compelled to smoke more of it,' what I meant was that after buying a 20 of it once in a while, I smoked another hit of what I already bought after having one hit, rather than flushing the rest. I'm not struggling with doing/buying this stuff often. I just like some crack as a cherry on top of my real drug habit sometimes.)
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