Training Log First Test Cycle Log

Its illegal to do that in my state but if its legal in your area. Use a sharps container or lol protein jug and tape. Then put it in the middle of your trash and surround it with other trash. Your state will deal with the mishaps if any happens. It's more of a moral issue...the sanitation workers compact trash so your container or jug will explode and some dude now has a needle in em and has to get tested every month for HIV/AIDS/whatever. I plan to go to a medical/hazardous waste drop off location when my container gets full. Tell them I found it in my trash lol
 
Doesn't every local pharmacy operate a disposal scheme over there? Sending them to landfill always felt wrong to me.
 
CFC said:
Doesn't every local pharmacy operate a disposal scheme over there? Sending them to landfill always felt wrong to me.
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No, at least not in my state.

No one is really physically handling trash as far as I know (although I won't claim to be an expert on waste management systems) so not too worried. With all the potentially harmful shit that could end up in municipal waste, don't think they are doing too much unprotected handling. Needles are up there but I'd be worried about a lot of other shit that could be just as bad or worse.
 
My state allows for slin pin disposal in hard plastic containers but not IM needles. I'll ask my pharmacy if they can or know what I should do. Actually I'll ask the needle exchange!
 
Going to have to really cut volume over this weekend as I have to work 40 of the next 108 hours. We have to convert the place to a Christmas theme and I always have to lead the holiday execution team (which is always horrible and extremely stressful). So maybe 30 minutes of heavy compounds each day just to maintain.

I don't know if it is just placebo, but I always feel best the morning after a test e injection. Feel more awake, sex drive up, comfortable being a leader at work, and so on.
 
Sometimes I like quick workouts. Really focuses me, and makes me appreciate how much I can get done in a short time when pushed.
 
I took it a bit too far today flirting with my boss and now things are kinda awkward between us. This is the hot younger one who is always asking me to do heavy lifting around the place and then punching me in the shoulder to thank me and such, and complimenting my strength. Oh well.

And I have been getting harassed over the work phone lately by debt collectors and it happened again today and I really just lost it for a bit. I was getting the BP spike and flushing and the desire to smash things.

Did 10x6 leg press before work with shorter rest periods. Excellent pump in the legs still hours later.
 
I'm having a really emotional day and hopefully it's something I will be able to sleep off.

My phone broke yesterday and I took it into the shop to see if it was a quick fix. The guy working there was not being very helpful to me and he didn't seem to know what he was talking about (reinforced today when I showed the phone to a friend who used to work in that business and he knew in fifteen seconds exactly what the problem and solutions were). So I asked him if he could call customer service from the store phone, or call whomever his immediate boss was. He got an attitude with me, I dished it back to him and it was just a very embarrassing time for me. I am usually polite if not also timid, but I absolutely needed my phone running for work and I took my anger out on this guy.

I then couldn't sleep after that because I felt bad. So I went back to work on maybe 45 minutes of sleep and worked another 10 hours of hard effort driven by three separate rounds of pre-workout. Got out of work today and just felt extremely emotional, ashamed, sad, embarrassed, and so on. Not really about the phone any longer, just about my life in general.

Then I had to do some stuff to take care of my mother (Alzheimer's) and she kept telling me how wonderful of a son I am. Yet whenever she does this I just start to reply all of the ways I hurt her and the family while addicted to heroin and I just end up on the break of tears. Wanting to answer "no, I'm a piece of garbage son, but I'm trying now." Which led to just proper thinking about hurting people and being a bad person during addiction. This is actually why I got so close to my ex's two year old... It was the only human interaction where I genuinely felt like a good person...and that's such a good feeling to actually see yourself in a better light...

But then back home trying to eat, exhausted, listening to emo music and tearing up. I often talk about SAD or depression or whatever, but that's more like frustration and listlessness. This tearjerking deep sadness, guilt and shame only hits me once in a while, but those stars aligned today...

Going to inject test 12 hours early just to get some placebo, and perhaps feel better at work tonight. Tonight is the last night of holiday prepping, so it will be back to heavy lifting, food and sleep in a day.

I have a date planned this week with an older lady friend of mine. She has had a crush on me for years, but she wants a serious boyfriend and that's not what I want to do right now in life. I'm honest with her about it. But her son is in jail right now and she's not holding up too well, so I am going to help her get out of the home and laugh a bit.
 
Swim15 said:
I forget, taking any adex? Sounds like you may need some
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This. I'd take 0.5mg and see how you feel in a couple days.
Also maybe try a meeting or talk to someone in recovery to "get you out of your home and laugh a little". Cheer up brother. We're both from a fucked up past, we can't change the past, but we can make ourselves better for the future. You're doing well. Might I suggest making an Inventory of what you got going on for you now as opposed to when life was hell? Might give you an objective view of how things really are.
 
I didn't even think of that. Haha, so inexperienced. I have aromasin but will take an equivalent dose. Good call.

What happened to me tonight is kinda funny actually. I have to be at work at 4am. It's daylight savings. I wake up at 1:22am. It's 1:35 and I still haven't figured out if it's the first or second time from 1-2am. If it's the first, I can go to the gym before work. Easily. If it is the second, I need to bust my ass to get to the gym before work. I cannot tell simply googling stuff about it. Nobody is up to ask. This is retarded but it's the reality right now.
 
Lol I have a regular alarm clock for reasons like this. My old phone used to have to have time manually updated in the settings every couple weeks or it'd be slow by like 8 minutes. Got tired of waking up late.
 
I feel tons better today. Unsure how much hormone fluctuation really played into that, but that was a horrible mood swing. If that is any indication of what elevated estrogen is like, screw that. No wonder girls cry so much.

I aggravated that wrist thing again going too aggressive with work today. It seemed almost healed in 48 hours, so I just have to be careful. Going to nap and then go to the gym tonight.

I think I am going to drop the two-per-days and just go back to single sessions with greater volume. 3PL and 4BBing per week.
 
Haha it didn't take me long to figure out not to let estrogen get out of control, also makes me more understanding of females. Remember sitting in my dorm freshman year after first starting test and doing everything I could this one day to keep from breaking down crying randomly. Had a couple friends in the same boat as me figuring things out so luckily had some people to laugh about it with
 
Okay, here's my question...

Say you're feeling emo and take your AI. How long until the relief? Because I felt better in 4 hours, but to keep at least it seems like it would take a while before the stopping of the conversion really put a dent in it.
 
Not sure anyone can answer that...I would normally notice the next day though after taking it personally
 
Swim15 said:
Not sure anyone can answer that...I would normally notice the next day though after taking it personally
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Generally for me it's a couple days depending how high circulating estrogen is. Takes a bit for what's already there to be eliminated.
 
Serotonin101 said:
Generally for me it's a couple days depending how high circulating estrogen is. Takes a bit for what's already there to be eliminated.
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I looked into it a while back, isn't most estrogen still bound to SHBG for quite some time, also the half life is longer than testosterone if I remember correctly.. Adex would reduce conversion, but not totally, so expect some free estrogen, only less.. As with anything expect differing effects between individuals..
 
I'm using aromasin instead. I actually need to sit down and really learn the differences between the various AIs.

I have felt rather alpha today (I don't like the word alpha and how overused it is but I feel like it applies here). I've been more comfortable acting as a leader at work, less second guessing of myself, voracious appetite, eye fucking my coworkers all day, etc. Still thinking a lot about the past, but not all emo. Just more stuff like "I should have done this at time X, said this at time Y, etc" Just reflecting on timidness holding me back in life and how I want to change.

Two of the next three off of work. Going to start posting my workouts again in this thread.
 
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