Fast methadone taper help

[Jabberwocky]

One day at a time sister, you'll get where you want to be in a way, you're already there even the smallest of success can provide huge momentum. Sometimes I feel like the small, everyday kinda successes are what matter most anyways. Keep up the great work! At least you can know this is one the most challenging things anyone can ever do, so please remember to give yourself a pat on the back and do all you can to be kind with yourself whenever you're able

 

[cj]

Congratulations! I am really impressed with your toughness. Not many people could do what your doing and I really mean that. Keep doing what your doing and this will be a nasty memory soon enough.

I really recommend you save those gabapentin for when you run out of oxy though. You don't want to run out of the benzos or gabapentin before you totally stop the opiates. They are going to save your ass I promise. Also are you taking Advil? If not take 800mg every 8 hours for the muscle aches.

 

[badbarbiedolly]

Aw thanks! I don't feel very tough right now but I am stubborn and determined to see this through. It's funny because the one day I was ready to say screw this and start taking my dose again, my counselor called and said I would fail. So that just made me want to keep it up just to spite her hateful a*s! Of course that is not what keeps me going but I felt that way for a second.
Today is 8 days woohoo! Remember when I said "I can't tell that the fentanyl is helping" well now that I don't have it I can def tell! I was in bed all day yesterday sick. But today is better. I even went out to eat with my family for breakfast this morning. For the most part the vomiting is gone as long as I don't eat greasy foods. And I'm in the south so that's almost impossible. Still some gastro stuff. At this point it's mostly aches & pain, rls, anxiety, insomnia and severe depression. I was prepared for all of it except the depression. I've never dealt with this type before. I mean I've been depressed but not to this extent for this long. It's like anger and sadness at the same time. If anyone has expirience dealing with that I'd love to hear it. Mental illness runs in my family but you'd never hear them talk about it or even acknowledge that they have it. So I don't really know how to get a handle on this other than just asking my dr for something. Which may or may not be the right thing to do. I'm not sure

 

[cj]

The depression is kinda just par for the course. Just try to remember it's being caused by a chemical imbalance not your life situation. I know that's easier said then done but really there isn't much you can do for it.

 

[badbarbiedolly]

Omg I feel like hell! Day 10 and I feel worse than ever. Wtf is going on? I am hurting all over, spewing fluids and I feel worse than the rapid taper and day 1-5 of no methadone. And I've already taken 6 oxy trying to ease it and it did nothing. This can't be normal. It's almost 90 here and I'm in the house with a hoodie and sweats freezing. Then sweating through to my sheets. Shouldnt I be getting better instead of worse? It hit me last night around 8pm and it's been like this since. I think this is either day 9 or 10 of no methadone. I don't know if I can handle much more. I was already sick for what seemed like forever and now this is worse than before. I'm going on a month of feeling bad I thought I was through the worse part.

 

[cj]

Omg I feel like hell! Day 10 and I feel worse than ever. Wtf is going on? I am hurting all over, spewing fluids and I feel worse than the rapid taper and day 1-5 of no methadone. And I've already taken 6 oxy trying to ease it and it did nothing. This can't be normal. It's almost 90 here and I'm in the house with a hoodie and sweats freezing. Then sweating through to my sheets. Shouldnt I be getting better instead of worse? It hit me last night around 8pm and it's been like this since. I think this is either day 9 or 10 of no methadone. I don't know if I can handle much more. I was already sick for what seemed like forever and now this is worse than before. I'm going on a month of feeling bad I thought I was through the worse part.

I'm sorry your feeling so bad. If I had to guess I would say the methadone has finally fully left your system and this is full blown withdrawal. How long will it last? I'm honestly not sure most of the reports I've read had the withdrawal peaking around day 15 post complete abstinence.

What's your comfort meds situation like? Have you tried high doses of gabapentin? (Over 500mg)? You have to remember that your kicking the opiate with the worst reputation for withdrawal from an extremely high dose with very little taper to speak of. I know it's utter hell in fact I can't even imagine. I missed the clinic 2 days ago and ended up feeling pretty bad from just 1 day of reduced plasma levels. What your doing makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry for help. Your obviously tougher then nails to make it this far. Don't let this kill you though. If you need to dip into that large stash of methadone you have saved up do it. It's not matter of pride remember this was originally done to get you back on pain control.

Keep us updated

 

[somnilicious]

I'm sorry your feeling so bad. If I had to guess I would say the methadone has finally fully left your system and this is full blown withdrawal. How long will it last? I'm honestly not sure most of the reports I've read had the withdrawal peaking around day 15 post complete abstinence.

What's your comfort meds situation like? Have you tried high doses of gabapentin? (Over 500mg)? You have to remember that your kicking the opiate with the worst reputation for withdrawal from an extremely high dose with very little taper to speak of. I know it's utter hell in fact I can't even imagine. I missed the clinic 2 days ago and ended up feeling pretty bad from just 1 day of reduced plasma levels. What your doing makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry for help. Your obviously tougher then nails to make it this far. Don't let this kill you though. If you need to dip into that large stash of methadone you have saved up do it. It's not matter of pride remember this was originally done to get you back on pain control.

Keep us updated

This.... The time line that CJ and I gave you on page 3 are what you can expect.. This the withdrawal will lasts about 2 weeks stuff is for an extremely slow taper. The reason you didn't feel that bad during the reduction was because you still had a ton of methadone built up in your system. I took a one time dose of 20mgs before I went into sober living this last time and I still tested positive for methadone 8 days later. Just to give you an idea of how long it can stay in your system and that wasn't even taking it everyday where it would build up. You can expect to peak days 10-20 and experience acute withdrawal till possibly just after the 30 day mark. I truly do admire people that have gone through the fire of rapid high dose methadone cessation. I have done it forced and of my own volition dozens of times.

I'm just going to be one hundred with ya when I tell you that there is nothing that is going to help you at this point except to dig in and endure the hell fire and pain through sheer desperate will power or reinducting on a low dose of methadone and very slowly tapering yourself off. There is no amount of gabapentin, immodium, CBD, or any of the other recommended comfort meds that are going to really help you for the next week or so.

I'm here for you if you want to PM me... I consider myself the foremost authority on this subject but honestly there is not very much we can do for you except to give you support and encouragement.

Somni

 

[badbarbiedolly]

I've been off work for almost 3 weeks. I'm supposed to go back Monday. I thought I had this planned out. As for comfort meds I don't have much of anything left since I started taking them when I first felt sick. I only had 30 low dose gabapentin, 2 patches and 100 oxycodone. I still a good bit of the oxy (haven't counted) but I've been taking those more since last night. What's strange is they really aren't doing much even if I take 2 at a time. I feel like such a failure because all I can think about is taking a couple mg of methadone just to feel a tiny bit better. I tried getting some advice from my mom and her response was "you gotta just put that out of your mind" Family motto right there. Just don't think about it and it'll go away. And my pain is worse than it's ever been in my life. But I know if I take any of the methadone I just start this all over agiain right? So I'm trying y'all. I can't see dr til the 29th I think. I don't know if I can do this anymore. I'm not sleeping at all. Like not even for 15 minutes. Maybe that's doing my head in. Thank you for listening I know I'm just whining but it feels good to know someone is there

 

[badbarbiedolly]

If you need to dip into that large stash of methadone you have saved up do it. It's not matter of pride remember this was originally done to get you back on pain control.

But wouldn't that start this whole thing all over again? It's def not pride keeping me in this hell. I want to be able to have the surgeries I need so I can function again. My neurosurgeon refuses to do it while on the methadone. And the pain dr won't take me either. So that was the purpose of this. I don't want to delay things but, if I can't work then I can't afford the surgeries and meds I'll need. So this seems so stupid now. I really thought 3 weeks was enough time. 4 counting the week I tapered. But I worked that week. I used all my vacation and sick days for this as I won't get more until Jan 1st. Which I was planning on having the surgeries then. I know I can't do my job like this. I'm in real estate. I just don't know what to do

Can anyone explain what I'm doing wrong when I try to show the quote? It's not in an orange box like when y'all do it lol

 

[somnilicious]

No problem.. Please do whine away. I am the king of whining. I honestly think that most opiate addicts have no way of truly understanding what you are going through. Abrupt methadone cessation is some next level shit. You are going through a pain that is unfathomable to the average person. I know exactly what you are going through. I once stayed up for 17 days straight without a minute of sleep withdrawing from methadone and benzos in jail, so believe me when I say I empathize and know.

Over the years I have driven people insane with my whining. I have actually gotten a resentment against NA and AA before because of all the "Mickey Mouse" addicts, in their early to mid 20's who have gone through a couple of years of Roxi addiction and think they are the foremost authority on addiction. The last time I came off of benzos and methadone I was truly fucked for at least a year. I was struggling hard, whining, literally crying all the way and all these little jitterbugs would be bouncing on their "Spiritual high" a few months after getting clean telling me I didn't have gratitude or I wasn't turning my will over to God or hadn't had a psychic change because I was miserable. "Bitch do you understand how the brain works at all. I don't mean to dick size about addiction but I was doing heroin when you were still in diapers. My brain is fucked beyond anything you could ever understand and the only thing that can change that is time"... Uggghhhh... Sorry now I'm ranting and whining in your thread...lol...

Anyways.. You are doing awesome BadBarbie. Hang in there..... You are stronger than you think even if you have to bitch, whine and rant the whole way. There is absolutely no shame in that. There is no dignity to be saved in withdrawal. Come back and vomit on everyone until there is nothing left to vomit. When you come out the other side you can take satisfaction in the fact that you made it through something that would probably break 99/100 people.

Somni

 

[badbarbiedolly]

OMG 17 days of no sleep plus wd's in jail. I can't imagine going through this while locked up. Im barely making it and I have zero responsibilities at the moment. My mother is doing pretty much everything I can't do. So I'm just being a big baby. I need to buck up and get through this. I guess I should get rid of the saved methadone. I would have already but I didn't want to pour it down the sink or toss in trash. So I'm not sure how to dispose of it.

Thank you Somni I feel stronger now than I did an hour ago. I was ready to just give up. I can do this. I've made it this far I want to keep going.

 

[badbarbiedolly]

Well I screwed up guys. I took 5mg methadone about an hour ago. I gave in and now I feel like all that suffering was for nothing. Now I'm right back at square one. Worst part is I really don't feel any better after taking it. I'm not vomiting anymore but the rest is same. I can't believe I caved that easily. It was like I just couldn't take it anymore. I was alone and I'm so weak from being sick that when I got up out of bed I collapsed to the floor. I actually crawled to my dresser where I had my methadone. I passed out in the shower this morning also so I'm pretty sure I'm just drained from this. I feel like I failed and to be honest I don't know if I have the strength to start over agiain tomorrow. I have to go to work Monday that's not an option. I'm lucky I had 3 weeks off as most prob do not.

So now that I've F'd up. I'm not sure how to go about this. I'm thinking maybe since I have so much saved methadone maybe stay on 5mg a day til I see my dr and switch to a long acting drug? I see him on the 29th. I've been on BL reading trying to get a plan, cause I'm soo great with those.? The short acting wasn't providing any relief at all which I don't understand but whatever. So, here's what I'm thinking.. Stay on as low a dose I can so that I'm able to work. Then ask dr on the 29th for long acting plus high dose gabapentin to taper off the low dose methadone. And do this is slow as possible. I think I have around +500mg of methadone saved. Does that sound doable or should I just dig in tomorrow and continue on in hopes that I'll feel better by Monday?

 

[somnilicious]

Taking the 5mg was not a screw up. I Highly suggest that you get back on the absolute lowest dose that will hold you enough to bear your day and taper as slowly as you can. Just make sure you stop about 10 days before your doctor appointment. You won't be completely starting over because it will greatly reduce the severity and length of your peak withdrawal period, while also helping you make it to the appointment with less suffering. Your tolerance will have been greatly reduced due to everything you have already done and the additional tapering so by the time of your appointment the pain meds will work a lot better.

Save all the roxies for the period between the time you do the low dose methadone and the doctor appointment. They should work a lot better to help you make it the appointment by then.

I really think you could use even a couple of day break from the pain with 20 or so mg it probably won't hold you all day but it will give you a much needed reprieve and dampening of symptoms. You won't be set back at square one because a couple days of taking low doses won't build up much methadone in your system. At 100mg of methadone everyday for 3yrs. I wouldn't be surprised if you actually had 150mg to 200mg in your body at peak periods due to the long half life and build up effect. It would still give your body time to adjust and work towards it's natural equilibrium.

You are doing awesome BadBarbie... Don't be so hard on yourself... You won't be back at square one and you have made amazing progress.

Somni

 

[Jabberwocky]

Taking the 5mg was not a screw up. I highly suggest that you get back on the lowest dose that will hold you and taper as slowly as you can. Just make sure you stop about 10 days before your doctor appointment(for surgery). You won't be completely starting over because it will greatly reduce the severity and length of your peak withdrawal period, while also helping you make it to the appointment with less suffering. Remind me again Barbie, You are doing this to get surgery correct..???

This.

 

[somnilicious]

I just read that you have to go to work on Monday. I can almost assure you that you have almost zero chance of making it through this next work week if you don't do the low dose, slow methadone taper. Even if it doesn't completely hold you all day at least take enough to make it bearable.

I shouldn't say zero because anything is possible if we put our minds to it but if you think you are in hell now just wait. You can expect to not sleep at all for at least the next week and when I say not sleep at all I really mean probably a literal zero on that point.

So I had edited an earlier post because I thought your reason for getting off was for surgery but I wasn't sure because I couldn't initially find that post. Then after doing some digging I realized I was correct. Then I thought you had to be clear by the 29th but by reading your last post all the way to the bottom I realized that is incorrect. Definitely take enough to be comfortable to make it through your day and if you answer a few questions for me I can help you make a plan. What you are thinking sounds good but I think we can make it better.

May I ask? What is the projected day of the surgery that you have to be clear of methadone? How much methadone do you have left?

 

[badbarbiedolly]

Date of surgery

Yes the end goal is to have the surgeries. I hope to have the first one immediately & 2nd after New Years. My appt with the dr is my primary care dr and not the neuro. He won't even see me until I'm off the methadone. My primary dr didn't know how to help me off of it and having the clinic taper me wasn't an option since they require daily visits for tapering. I was only going twice a month so I thought I had it all figured out. Turns out I didn't. ?

So I can stay on this at a very low dose and it doesn't put me right back at the beginning? I wish I could just sleep. Just half an hour would help. But I can't. It's almost 2am here and I haven't slept at all.

I thought I had all the meds I would need to do this and still be able to work like I've read others have done. My dr just didn't want to do the long acting even though that's what I'll end up on after im off of MMT. He said my insurance only had 1 preferred long acting drug and he doesn't like prescribing that drug. Not sure I believe him.
I took double my sleep meds last night and didn't get a minute of sleep. That's the worst part of this I feel like I'm going crazy.

Forgot to answer your question. I haven't scheduled the first surgery yet but I was hoping to do that one at the first of November because its the easiest recovery of the 3 surgeries he wants to do I'd be off for a week at most with light duty restrictions. The other 2 will be 8 weeks off work I think is what he said at my consult. Once he knew I was on methadone he wouldn't schedule anything else until I was off. His reasons were "I can't treat your post operative pain without prescribing ridiculous amounts of pain meds and I refuse to do that" something like that anyway.

 

[somnilicious]

You won't start back at the beginning because as you are doing it your peak severity and length are going to be greatly increased... I believe I can help you transfer to the short acting opiates with little discomfort, especially if you can get more Pk's on the 29th and more gabapentin.

How much methadone do you have left? We can device a taper plan and find a dose that will allow you to feel comfortable enough to sleep some, while being bearable enough to make it through your work days. Go through with your plan to visit the dr. on the 29th and save all your roxies you have left. How many do you have left? I would like to think about it a bit more before I suggest whether you should try to get long acting time release painkillers or just more short acting painkillers. I truly believe we can device a taper plan where you can eventually switch over to your painkillers with very minimal discomfort and have plenty of time before your surgery.

Also get more gabapentin on the 29th if at all possible.

 

[badbarbiedolly]

To be honest I don't have to have the surgeries that soon. It can wait for now but I can't start back at the clinic I'd have to go daily and Id lose my job. So I only have so much saved. It's gotta be around 500mg maybe more. My brain hurts too much to add it up. This is how I tapered..
Day 1-took 90mh, Day 2-90mg, Day 3-85, Day 4-75, Day 5-65, 55, 45, 35, 25, 15, 10, 5, 4, 3, then zero so I tapered for 2 weeks and it's been zero since then. This has been a month of pure hell and I broke. But if I could he off this shit I can get the surgeries and meds I need. This is how I came to be on MMT to start my pain dr just disappeared overnight and I couldn't get into a new dr in time so most of us ended up at the clinic. I finally have insurance and the wait list is about 4 weeks so if I come off this I can be seen. In this area pain Dr's won't take MMT patients. They told me I had to see an addiction dr. So I found one and he only prescribes suboxone. And he's not a pain dr. He only prescribes suboxone. And my insurance only covers that for 3 months the zip.

I will gladly answer any questions that could help me get a better plan. I thought I had the perfect plan but clearly that was flawed.

 

[somnilicious]

O.k.. The good news is that we can definitely do this. Find a dose for tonight that will allow you to sleep or at least get well until we can get you to sleep tomorrow night . Try 20-30mgs for now and then I and other SL members can help you go from there with a taper plan. It might take a bit more the first night to help you sleep because it will start to build up each successive day and there is no way I can accurately determine where you are at as far as tolerance is concerned but I believe 20-30mgs more should help. I wouldn't be afraid to do 30mgs the first night if you really want to sleep.

We'll get you to that goal of the surgery as fast as comfortably possible. An early Nov. goal is very achievable. Hopefully you get more PK's on the 29th from your GP or at least soon after.

 

[badbarbiedolly]

As for the roxi I should have maybe half so around 50 possibly more. But I know he said he would give me another script at next visit because he knows my medical problems require pain meds. Been on them since 1997 and will always need them. He was trying to wait on the long acting til the methadone was out. He can only prescribe short term while waiting on pain dr since he's not pain managment. So I'm guessing he will have something in mind on the 29th. He has my records from what I was on before but he said they recalled the oxymorphoneER so I can't take that. He's pushing some new med it's like a super tramadol er but I'm allergic to tramadol so don't know if I can take it. I had a severe reaction to it and some shot they have me after a previous surgery. It was nalbu something. Both made me hallucinate and a rash all over.